


Headshot

by EtchedGhost



Series: Any Last Words Bitch? This is My Win. [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), M/M, Sex, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Swearing, Violence, they say fuck a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:34:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 85,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27964637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtchedGhost/pseuds/EtchedGhost
Summary: Soulmarks were normal, and everyone had one. It was confirmed at birth. However, they weren't always easy to decipher. Most were lucky, they had a phrase, a word. Others had an image or illustration of sorts. Frustrating, but useful.Kenny? Well, it had been confirmed his was there, just invisible. And no one knew what it said. Because it was invisible."Don't worry, one day it'll likely show in one form or another. You do have a soulmate, you just...might have a harder time recognising them, and them you."Kenny probably wasn't going to wait around for a chance that may not come. It was okay if he didn't have one.He just didn't want to be lied to.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker
Series: Any Last Words Bitch? This is My Win. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123265
Comments: 65
Kudos: 150





	1. Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What? If I was in your shoes and met them on the battlefield of airsoft, first thing I'd do is find a quiet place to get very, very well acquainted with them...probably more than once."

* * *

##  **  
CHAPTER ONE  
  
Asshole  
  
**

* * *

_  
Chapter One Song (Kenny's) : She - Headshot  
_ _Chapter One Song (Craig's) : Sick Puppies - You're Going Down.  
Chapter One Song ('Stan's gang' vs 'Craig and those guys') Fall Out Boy - Beat It  
Chapter One Love theme: https://soundcloud.com/martytude/dumber  
  
Chapter One Overall Playlist - [Click Here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/30ye8dj7SOa7fQiaMjtxM3)_

(Note: The Spotify playlist is song ordered in order of what happens in story. For best experience, shuffle should be turned off)

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
Soulmarks and Soulmates.

  
The things that made the world go round. Or you'd think so, the way people kept fucking obsessing over them.

Even those that were more than happy to stop the world and get off, couldn't avoid it.   
It didn’t work like that. You were stuck on this planet, and you were stuck with the rules and the general nonsense and chatter that went with it all, even if you wanted nothing to do with any of it.  
  
And Kenny 100% wanted nothing to do with the mess that was soulmates.  
  
Oh, he also knew it was because he was a bitter fuck. So what?  
  
Soulmarks were ingrained into life, into society, into skin. 'Everyone' had a Soulmark. It was a 'normal' thing. It permeated into every part of humanity's existence.  
  
You were born, you got your birth certificate, you got your health checks, your weight. And you got your Soulmark certificate. It didn’t say much beyond confirming that yes, you had one, along with the type, and where on your body it was located. You were cooed over, and parents would proudly show their new child. People would crane to see your soulmark, and what it said or what it looked like. They'd start to make small talk guesses on what it might match to, and then there'd be cake.

He’d seen Karen’s when she was first born. He still remembered peering over his parents, seeing this small...thing. This baby sister of his. and that she'd had a mark that moved on the back of her neck. He'd held onto the certificates they'd been given when they had gone to register her. Remembered watching as the clerk noted down a few notes, checking the mark, scanning it with a small...device. And everything about it had come down to a few lines on a small piece of paper. The clerk had explained to him that they didn't note the actual Soulmark down. Soulmarks always started out as animating marks, but didn't 'settle' straight away. The only things you could know at that stage were the size, the location, and the type. Those never seemed to change.   
  
  
  
  
**SOULMARK CERTIFICATE  
** **Name:** McCormick, Karen Meredith  
 **Location:** Nape of neck  
 **Form:** Written  
 **Size:** Small  
  
  
Nothing more than that.  
  
  
And over time, the letters that would randomly fluctuate on her neck eventually settled into a phrase.   
  
  
_I like the red flavour more than green.  
  
_ _  
_It was in a beautiful, tiny cursive format, and the letters were outlined in a faint silver, not unlike monochrome paint. And the letters would animate and trace over themselves, but didn't deviate from the wording. Kenny always imagined a group of cosmic overlord sitting around a huge wheel, with billions of different random phrases, and that they'd spin it, and your Soulmark would appear when it stopped spinning. _  
_And he’d seen his parents'. His mother had the word _Cherry?_ and his father had the word _Cheese_. Apparently they’d met during a word association ice breaker at a work conference, and the odd, obviously wrong response to Cherry had caused them both no amount of amusement.  
  
  
He could blame things on his parents. Not his current parents, who loved him and raised him and went to work conferences and did ice breakers. No, his actual birth parents. Who'd screwed up being parents, so he was willing to put the blame on their doorstep. Maybe they'd been broken in some way like he was.   
  
Unlike their actual parents (by terminology rather than blood) who had raised Karen, Kenny and their older brother Kevin like their own, their birth parents had been...well, they shouldn't have been parents. The only good thing to come out of it was the fact that the three of them had been born. He hadn't spoken to them since they were adopted seven years ago. He was pretty sure they were still serving time somewhere. Turns out having a meth lab isn’t a great idea. Who'd've thought? Still, these were people who also went to a cult meeting, so he didn't really expect much from them.   
  
And he was happy to put the blame on them for many things, but especially for the reasoning behind why at eighteen years of age, the 'cosmic wheel of randomly picked phrases' was still spinning when it came to his Soulmark. Hell, someone had fucking slipped up, because at this stage, he'dve been content with an animating blob.   
  
His phone vibrated. And he ignored it. He wasn't in the mood. He had been, up until this morning, when he'd seen it.   
  
Stan’s Soulmark.  
  
It wasn’t a big deal. Hell, he'd seen it loads of times growing up. This time however, he wasn't able to simply ignore it. This time, he looked at it properly, even though he knew what it was. It was the largest Soulmark out of their group, and unlike every other time he'd seen it, Kenny had felt pangs of longing.   
  
Not for Stan. Fuck no, that'd be weird. He just...wanted one.  
  
Stan’s Soulmark was beautiful, there was no other way to put it.   
  
It was spread across his entire back. An image of a shark sticking its head out of the water. It animated beautifully, bursting from the water anew occasionally, and Kenny had been transfixed by it today. While the two of them laughed and celebrated the freedom that came with finally finishing high school, Kenny had watched it.  
  
All that Soulmark, and the powers that be didn’t have any leftover cosmic magic ink for his own?  
  
And if that wasn't enough of a proverbial kick in the teeth, Cartman had fucking two of em. TWO soulmarks. The greedy bastard. He’d smugly shown them off on a regular basis in the locker room when changing for gym. One on each of his shoulder blades. One said  
 _  
  
You dumb, asinine fuck_  
  
the other  
  
 _I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.  
_

 _  
_ _  
_That meant he had two soulmates out there. And Cartman, despite being his friend, was an asshole. An asshole who got two soulmates. And their whole group agreed to never, ever use the word asinine. Dumb fuck was still on the table though.  
  
  
Apparently, society had decided it was better to lie to Kenny. Oh Kenny, don't worry, you do have a Soulmark!   
  
  
Liars. Fucking liars.  
  
  
 **SOULMARK CERTIFICATE  
Name: **McCormick, Kenneth Carrick  
 **Location:** Outer wrist, left hand  
 **Form:** Unknown  
 **Size:** Unknown  
 **Notes:** Obscuricus  
  
  
He remembered being confused over the idea as a kid. Everyone knew the rules. Everyone had one. People didn’t always flaunt it like Cartman did, but Kenny had seen enough of them to know they were there.  
  
Which was great and all, except for the small detail of him not being able to find his own.   
  
And he’d asked about it. And he'd been shown his Soulmark certificate. And they'd taken him to see an expert, who 'confirmed' that it was there.  
  
 _  
“It’s called an Obscuricus. They are rarer, but known to happen.”  
_ _  
_ _‘So, I don’t have one?”  
_ _  
_ _“No, you do Kenny, don’t worry, you do. It’s right here on your wrist.”  
_ _  
_ _“I can’t see it. How do you know it’s there?”  
_ _  
_ _“You see this device? See how it thrums when I pass it over my own Soulmark? Now watch when I pass it over yours. Do you hear that it makes a similar sound?”  
_ _  
_ _“So...I do have one. But, why isn’t it showing?”  
_ _  
_ _“It just...hasn’t taken a material form. Your Soulmark. Your soulmate will be exactly the same. You’ll match.”  
_ _  
_ _“So, I can’t ever see it?”  
_ _  
_ _"We don’t know enough about them unfortunately. There are studies going on, and all those with an Obscuricus have been reported to have found their soulmates.”  
_ _  
_ _“How? What do I have to do?”  
_ _  
_ _“It takes patience. One day, it'll likely show in one form or another. You do have a soulmate, you just...might have a harder time recognising them, and them you.”  
_ _  
_ _“So, I just have to wait? And it’ll definitely happen?”  
_ _  
_ _“Well, the few studies show yes, but we can’t be entirely sure…”  
_ _  
_  
He’d spent time, just looking at his wrist growing up, wondering if it would turn up, if it would appear. He sometimes drew on the area. Maybe it needed to be coloured over, like when you draw with white crayon and then use ink over it to reveal the picture. Nothing.  
  
At first, he'd wanted to belong to someone. To have someone out there just for him.  
  
And as he got older, he hit a realisation. A truth.  
  
The expert had lied to him. Clearly they'd activated the device out of pity. That was how society seemed to act. Ignorant, and sure that _'it'll just take time.'_  
How the fuck did they know?   
And he found people to date, people to play around and fool around with. People that he knew would never be with him. And he wasn't going to try to keep them. Not when they had their own soulmate out there waiting. And Kenny may be many things, but he wasn't one to step in the way of people's chance for that connection. He wasn't that petty.   
  
And eventually, a couple of years ago, he’d bitten the bullet, and given the proverbial middle finger to the cosmic powers that be.  
  
He’d gotten the area tattooed over. He was tired of staring longingly at a blank space that he was told was supposed to mean something. Well, he'd make his own meaning instead.   
  
And to Kenny, it was the day he thought he’d given up on all that sappy romance and soulmate nonsense. If he was part of some cosmic joke, and was supposed to be alone, then fine. He’d down the whole shitty drink he'd been served in one go.   
  
When they'd hit puberty, they'd all been introduced to Soulmate classes, designed to help them learn the intricacies that came with Soulmarks, Soulmates, what to expect, what to do in what scenario.  
  
Kenny had gone to one, and had then bailed on all the rest, spending the time avoiding anyone that could book him for detention for being out of class. And they'd noticed, and had told his parents. And he'd argued with his parents. And then he'd be grounded, and he'd go back to school, and the cycle would start anew. His parents had even tried getting a tutor in to teach him, but he'd found a way to skip. Eventually, his parents had realised, Kenny was fine as a student, as long as they didn't push the Soulmate classes. It was a compromise made for the sake of peace between all of them.  
  
Kevin had told him he was an idiot. Kenny had responded by calling Kevin a stupid fuck. Karen had heard them arguing and had cried. Kenny had stopped and told her they were just playing. 

Kenny loved his brother, but he didn't like him all that much. Always trying to tell Kenny what to do. Maybe that's what big brothers did, but he hated it. Karen however, he adored and would protect until the day he died, and all without telling her what to do, or phoning her up at 2am to tell her 'you're out past curfew and mom and dad would go crazy if they knew, come home!'.  
  
Not like _someone_ anyway. Just because Kevin had been valedictorian didn't mean he got to boss Kenny around.

Kenny would be the good older brother that let Karen live her life, who would kick the ass of anyone who messed with her or tried to hurt her in any way.  
  
He supposed they were balanced. Kevin had the brains, he had the fists, Karen had the kindness.

  
At least school was _done_ with now. Whatever happened, he wouldn't be expected to attend those shitty Soulmate classes. No more detention for skipping. No more detention for fighting. No more detention for getting the school to strike against the school menu. No more detention for-yeah...there was a bit of a list. But detentions aside, he'd done well. He didn't have his results, but he'd kept his grades up. He wasn't Kevin genius level smart, but he was smart enough to not fuck up his classes and to know that good grades equalled less expensive study at college. If he even wanted to go. He guessed he did, he'd mostly let his parents drive that one. He didn't fucking know what he wanted to do with his life, but if going to college made them happy, then sure.  
  
It's not like he had any better plans for his life. He just didn't want his parents to have to fork out for him. They could put that towards Karen's college instead.  
  
He just wanted to hang out with his friends, do fun shit and make sure their last summer together went out with a big bang. He wanted to meet people and play around. He wanted to get drunk, get high, go dancing, stay out until the sun rose. He wanted to visit different places, see California. In fact, he was pretty sure one of the colleges his mom had applied to for him was based there.  
  
He didn't want much from his life apart from that at the moment. Especially not anything as ridiculous as a soulmate. Imagine that, someone popping into your life just as your life was going through the biggest change. Them expecting you to drop everything and stay with them. Hah!

  
Fuck that. He wanted to see places. He was gonna leave South Park far behind and chase some adventure. Just him, his truck and his new life, wherever it was.  
  
And it had been utter perfection waking up today, realising school was done, lazing in bed, taking an indulgent shower, mulling over his weekend plans. And then he'd met with Stan, seen his dumb back Soulmark, and now he was indoors on a hot summer's day, earphones in, idly listening to music, on his laptop, fucking around browsing, and being generally moody and pissed off. And his phone had vibrated a few times now and he honestly couldn't be fucked with today.  
  
  
He glanced at his wrist. The words he'd chosen were engraved with ink instead of magic soul dust, but he liked it all the same.  
  
  
 _This is my win  
  
_  
Four words.  
  
A message to the forces that toyed with mortals by dangling the hopes of a happy ever after.

No, he was in charge of his own fate now. He wouldn’t let them win, wouldn’t let them beat him. He was going to be happy, with or without their blessing. And despite his moodiness, he knew he was being a dumbass. Moping over a Soulmark.

....It was time for him to stop with all this moping shit and get on with things. He had plans for this summer, and like fuck he was gonna abandon them to something as stupid as fate.  
  
After neglecting it for a couple of hours, he finally picked up his phone, checking and confirming that he'd gotten a few messages.  
  
He had a few messages from Stan, one from Kyle, and a one liner from Cartman that simply stated _“God I hate you Kenny.”_ _  
"Feeling is mutual, fucker."_ He replied one handed, the other on the laptop trackpad. Cartman had been over yesterday, and he'd logged into Twitter and had forgotten to log out. Kenny would be an inopportunistic fuck if he didn't do something with that major lapse in judgement. He'd forgotten about it until he'd seen Cartman's message, and thanks to New Kid, Cartman had quite the following.  
  
He read through the other texts as he mulled over what he was going to write. Stan wanted to do something. Apparently something different. Kyle was bitching about Cartman again. Kenny checked the files on his phone.  
"Where is it...? Somewhere in archives....fuck, where-Ah!" Kenny watched the video with a half grin as he sent the file to his shared drive. He'd upload that to Cartman's Twitter. Hopefully it would be reshared before Cartman noticed and took it down.  
  
  
Kenny messaged the group chat, asking what their plans for the weekend were. He had plans that weekend already, but there was no reason he couldn't turn it into an excursion for the five of them. He hadn't booked a motel yet.  
  
Kenny uploaded the video to Cartman's Twitter as he sent the suggestion to the group.

  
 _“You guys wanna come airsoft this weekend?”_ _  
__  
_"Annnnd send." Kenny looked at the[video clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xudwCxWeLBs) on twitter, and watched the views as he discussed the weekend idea with the group chat. _  
  
_Kenny made it his personal goal to record shit of them growing up. And he'd been suckered by it before, they all had. Embarrassing quotes or sentences left on logged in social media. Usually it was all in good fun.

However, Cartman had gotten hold of his phone at one point last week when Kenny had left it unlocked, and had decided it would be _hilarious_ to go over to Kenny's Tinder app and change his profile to say "I still need to check on how to remove my syphilis". And Kenny was still sore about that. It was one thing to post a funny message, it was another to effectively cockblock him virtually with lies. Tinder was the place where Kenny would regularly hook up with people, and until he'd realised and changed his profile back, people had steered clear. It had fucked him over for a while.

  
This footage he was now watching garner views was revenge, but a special revenge. It was footage from when they were kids. Plus, it served a valuable double pronged purpose. Cartman would get ribbed a shit ton, and Kyle would get some catharsis.   
  
The group chat replied with positives to the idea, and then questions on where, when, what was needed.  
  
Kenny smiled. Partly because the guys were up for it.  
  
Mostly because the views, likes, reshares and comments were pouring in on Cartman's account at the video.  
  
  
"Karma's a bitch Cartman." Kenny spoke softly to his phone as the group chat made plans. And then...  
  
  
 **Cartman**  
KENNY! KENNY YOU ASSHOLE! _  
  
_ **Stan** _  
What?  
  
 **Cartman**  
This BITCH ASS just DESTROYED my credibility on Twitter!  
  
 **Stan:**  
How?  
  
 **Leo:**  
What's going on?  
  
 **Kyle:**  
I gotta see this.  
  
 **Cartman:**  
KYLE! Don't you fucking dare you ginger jew!!!!!  
  
 **Kyle:**  
...😂😂😂  
  
_ _ **Stan:**  
Omg I remember that. How do you have a clip of that??   
  
__**Kyle:**  
I'm dying! 😂  
  
_ _ **Cartman:**  
SHADDUP KYLE!! KENNY! YOU FUCKER! SUPER FUCKING WEAK!!!  
_  
 **Kenny:**  
 _That was for Tinder. Don't fuck with my fuck life._ 😏😉😘

* * *

  
  
“So, everything’s settled up? Paid for?” Kyle was leaning on the open passenger door of the truck as Kenny took Kyle's bag and chucked it in the back with the rest of the stuff.   
Kenny nodded with a grin. He was stoked for today.   
“How did you manage to get everyone’s cash?”  
“Psh, didn't. The place is happy to take a deposit, which I paid. They’ll take cash before the game. Whatever, we can stop off at a cashpoint or something. Make sure Cartman doesn't hold out on us.” He stretched idly as he answered, his shoulders clicking slightly. Kenny nodded vaguely as Kenny came round to join him.  
"That everything?"  
"Yuh huh."  
"Cool. So now we just need to wait for the slow bastards to turn up."  
Kenny's mother passed by the window, and catching Kyle's eye, gave him a wave, which he returned.   
"She keeps telling me we should have you over for dinner." Kenny rolled his eyes as he said this. Kyle scoffed.   
"Your mom's cool. And your dad cooks better than mine."

"I think she wants a family sit-down dinner or something. But I'm always out with you guys. Probably thinks if she can get you over, we can eat together. I dunno, she's being weird or something."  
"She's probably gonna miss you when you head off to college."  
"Oh...right. Yeah, that's probably it, now that you mention it." Kyle elbowed him slightly.  
"Idiot."  
"And I was supposed to tell?"  
"Isn't Kevin at college?"  
"Not at the moment. He's home for the holidays. And damn, he's being an annoying ass. College hasn't chilled him out at all, he's being the same kind of serious and focused he's always been. Except for some reason, he's deciding it's his responsibility to brother hen me. Always checking up on me, and asking about my grades, college choices. Fuck, it's annoying as hell."

"You're his little brother, he cares about you, in his own way. What were your parents like when he first moved to college?" 

"Mom was in tears that day, didn't wanna let him go. I'd figured they got it out of their system, but dad asked yesterday if I wanted to 'hang out and catch a game'. Like, what the fuck does that even mean? I'm pretty sure he's not even into sports."

  
Kyle sniggered.

  
"Dude, they're absolutely gonna be the same when you head off. The whole works."  
"I fucking hope not. I do not know how to handle people when they cry, especially not my parents."

"You manage fine with Karen."

"That's different. When Karen cries, my modes are usually 'who do I need to punch?' or 'do you want me to get you some cookies?` or 'time for hugs and talk time.'. When anyone else cries, my mode is 'shit. What the fuck do I do?', even if I'm the one crying. I'm useless at that shit.“

"It's gonna happen dude. The signs are already there. For both of us. My mom has been doing stupid shit. Like, I haven't been called bubby since I was a kid, but she's started doing it again. It's kinda embarrassing. Plus she's started cooking my favourite foods for dinner, which is cool and all, except she's usually sniffling and tearing up when cooking. I avoid the kitchen like a plague at the moment. I think dad's kinda the same."

Kenny laughed, and Kyle elbowed him again.  
  
“So anyway...does it hurt dude?” Kenny looked at Kyle questioningly.  
"Airsoft. Does it hurt?"  
“Depends where you get shot I guess. Sometimes it’s fine, sometimes it hurts like a bitch. And you get welts everywhere. Some people have lost teeth or even an eye, but that's cos they were fucktards and didn't wear their head gear during games."

"Lost an eye??" Kyle looked at him with slight horror. 

"Dude, it's fine. Keep your eye wear on, and you'll be more than fine."

"Anything else I need to watch out for?" 

"Wear decent clothing, decent shoes..." 

Kyle spread his arms. 

"Does this work okay? I wasn't really planning on changing into anything else." 

Kenny surveyed the clothing. Combat trousers, white tank top, almost reminiscent of Kyle's basketball jersey, with a zip up South Park High team jacket, currently unzipped. Grey converse. Not perfect, Kyle would get hot very quickly in this weather, but it worked well enough for first air-soft excursion.

Kenny's eyes landed on Kyle's Soulmark, easily seen on days like this when Kyle wore tank tops. And in this kind of weather, tank tops were everyone's friend (including his own). 

The words sat there on the top of Kyle's clavicle, snugly settled there as if slotted into place. Like Kenny's tattoo, there were four words. Unlike Kenny's tattoo, the words shone and animated, highlighting what would have been dainty words, were they not written in rough, messy lettering.  
Almost as if someone had taken a fountain pen, and rather than writing it on Kyle, had roughly carved the phrase into his skin.  
  
  
 _I wanna see it.  
  
  
_ The words were a very leading statement, and Kenny often wondered what the context behind them was.

Almost everyone knew where Kyle's Soulmark was and what it said. Kyle, being on the basketball team, wore the standard fare uniform, which consisted of a white and orange lined basketball jersey, which meant it was on show a lot. One of the commentators during a championship league game had remarked on it after a shot Kyle had made, and slowly over time, it had become the chant people made when Kyle was on the court.  
  
 _"I wanna see it Kyle, I wanna see it Kyle."_

Kenny wondered if it was because it was a fan thing, or if people wanted to see if they could match with Kyle. Kenny hoped Kyle would do better Soulmate-wise than matching with a random groupie that had been shouting it from the stands. 

"Yeah. Works fine. Will it hurt if you get shot on that?" and he gestured to Kyle's Soulmark. 

Kyle looked down at Kenny's vague head gesture, which Kenny found hilarious. Kyle couldn't see his own Soulmark if he looked down, it was too high up. 

"Soulmark dude." Kenny offered helpfully. Kyle frowned thoughtfully.   
_  
_“I don't think so. I've bruised the area before during practice, so I think it's fine."

Kenny shrugged.  
  
“Can Soulmarks even get damaged?"   
  
Kyle had a look on his face then. One Kenny recognised easily.  
  
“Don’t give me that look.” Kenny warned.  
  
“I’m not.”  
  
“Yeah you were. And I know exactly what you're thinking.”

"Dude! You know you should've come to those classes man."

Kenny inwardly sighed. The two of them always argued about this. Kyle was one of the other forces at work that had tried to get Kenny to go to his classes.

"Fuck the classes. They wouldn't have helped shit."

"Well you'd damn well already know the answer to all these questions you ask me if you'd gone."

"Is that what this is about? Because I ask them?" 

Kyle sighed in irritation. 

"I don't mind if you ask them, it's just you always say you don't care, don't need the classes, but then you always ask about how they work. It's like you can't decide on whether you don't believe in them or you do."

Kenny scowled at this comment. 

"Like I give a fuck on how any of this works. You know my thoughts."

"Dude...it's totally okay to want to know this stuff. It's just...weird that you skipped almost every class that would've given you the answers."

Okay, Kenny had had enough of this subject matter. Time to derail. 

"Meh, I just wanted to make sure that someone shooting at it wouldn't give you an accidental orgasm or something."

And predictably, Kyle turned red, and stammered out a reply. 

  
“Dude I...it doesn't. It’s not sensitive to everything dude. Just to the soulmate.Like..if they..t-touch it, or hit it or...something or whatever!” Kyle explained, embarrassment still evident on his features.  
  
"Hit it huh? I doubt a Soulmate would see you and think 'I want to hit that'. Although...maybe the phrasing is talking more about the overall package?"  
  
Kyle flushed.  
  
"I-I dunno! I'm just...guessing!"  
  
Barely 18 years old, and Kyle hadn't even been kissed as far as Kenny knew. He damn well acted as if he'd never been touched. He couldn't even have a conversation about him and sex in the same subject. Apparently Kyle had decided he wanted his soulmate to be his first. Because being shit in bed is exactly what your soulmate wants when they first meet you. 

And the conversation turn had achieved Kenny's goal of 'changing the fucking subject.' He could probably drop it now. But, Kenny was having fun, and wasn't going to let Kyle off the hook just yet.   
  
Kenny scoffed.  
“Honestly, once you match, the last thing that'll be on their mind will be 'I want to cause damage to that particular area.'. It'll be more 'I want to wreck the entire package'”  
  
Kyle flushed in embarrassment.   
  
“It’s not like anyone tells you what it’s like.” Kyle replied hotly, trying to redirect the conversation away from a subject he stood on shakily at best. This subject however, was Kenny's forte. He liked sex. A lot actually. And why not? If people were up for some fun, it was mutually beneficial. 

Plus the bonus outcome was being able to mercilessly tease Kyle.   
  
“Maybe you'll meet your 'one' at airsoft. Sneak off somewhere secret..."

"Kenny!"

"What? If I was in your shoes and met them on the battlefield of airsoft, first thing I'd do is find a quiet place to get _very_ , _very_ well acquainted with them...probably more than once."

Kyle had closed his eyes, as if ignoring Kenny and his own flushed state would make it all go away.

"It's...outside...in public.. ." was his attempt at a rebuttal. 

"So? Dude. You need to get laid man. You do realise you don't even need to wait for your Soulmate for that, right? Good chance they may not have waited for you."

  
“I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing it for me."

Kenny rolled his eyes good naturedly, reaching out to put a hand on Kyle's shoulder. 

"I know dude. And I solemnly promise you, if it turns out I'm your Soulmate, I'll be gentle your first time."

And Kyle reached critical overload at that statement, falling back to his safety net emotion. 

Anger

"Kenny! Fuck you man!" He said hotly over Kenny's laughter, roughly pulling away from the hand on his shoulder. 

"It'd be the other way round Kyle. I get the feeling you wouldn't make a great top, or even a good power bottom. You seem totally, full submissive."

"Can we please stop talking about this?!" Kyle groaned into his hands. Kenny decided to take pity on Kyle. 

"Well anyway, I think your outfit is fine for today. Be aware that shots on bare skin hurt a lot more, and decide if it's worth it. Fucking hot out today, and everyone is gonna cook."

Kyle nodded, and they leaned back on the truck in companionable silence for a while. Until Kenny spoke up. 

"What would you do if you did meet your soulmate today? You only need that one special person to say it, right?"

Kyle looked up at the blue sky thoughtfully. 

"I'd have to say theirs too."  
  
The phrases were always pairs. They wouldn't activate unless one was spoken, and then the other. Only then would they activate. Like Cherry and Cheese he guessed. Kenny knew _that_ much at least.  
  
"You might not know you matched." He pointed out. Kyle tore his gaze from the sky back to Kenny.   
  
"No way dude. You'd KNOW. The second it happens, you both know."

"How?" 

"I don't know how it feels, but the way they described it was like...realising you've not been a full person up to that point. And then you are."

"That's kinda abstract.."

"Yeah, the actual feeling varies between people. It's unique."  
  
"You reckon Cartman will meet both of his partners at the same time?"  
  
"I've heard of it happening both ways. At the same time, and meeting the second further down the line. Dude, there was one woman, and she had FOUR."  
  
Kenny whistled a low tone.   
  
"That's a lot of maintenance. Plus, imagine if one of them was an asshole. Fuck, imagine being paired up to an asshole full stop? That'd suck. Man I feel like I dodged a bullet with all this." Kenny commented idly.

Kenny didn't look over at Kyle. He knew Kyle would be giving him a _look._ Different to his _'why didn't you go to classes?'_ look. 

No, this was Kyle's lame _'Kenny you know everyone has someone, even you.'_ look. 

Kyle had a lot of _looks_ , but this one was the most annoying. Kenny regretted even leading the conversation down this path. Luckily, Kyle seemed to be an expert at knowing when Kenny didn't want to talk about it (which was all the time), so let it lie. 

  
"I think if I ever heard someone say my Soulmark, I wouldn't say anything. Just in case, you know? It's a kinda scary thought, like, what if the universe got it wrong? I should get a little say in if I'm happy with things." Kyle murmured.   
  
"Why the fuck would you do that? Isn't the point of it all to be matched up? You sound scared at the idea of even meeting your soulmate."  
  
Kyle shrugged.  
  
"Even if I feel this way, I don't think...I get that kinda choice. I'll end up saying it accidentally, or before they do." Kyle sighed.  
  
"But it's fine, the cosmic bastards aren't gonna accidentally pair you up with the wrong person." Kenny reassured him.   
  
"How do I know if that'll happen?"  
  
"Kyle. You'll be fine. You'll match with someone awesome, and you'll both be disgustingly in love, and you'll get married and the three of us will totally trash the wedding, and one of us will probably behave themselves. Promise." Kyle nudged Kenny with his shoulder.   
  
"I'll hold you to that dude."  
  
"Scout's honour."  
  
"When were you a fucking Scout? You were thrown out after a day."  
  
"It counts." Kenny argued.  
  
"Psh, whatever."  
  
"Don't worry Kyle, we've got you covered. Stan's got all the best man embarrassing tales, I've got the bringing the stripper from your stag do as my plus one and hitting on and sleeping with your soulmate's immediate family, and Cartman's got the insulting the entire Jewish side of your family."  
  
"So, Butters is the only one who isn't gonna fuck up my wedding?"  
  
"Absolutely dude."   
  
Kyle scoffed at the idea, but didn't look opposed to the idea as much as he probably should be.

"Thanks dude."

"Hey, always happy to wreck a wedding." Kyle scoffed at this. 

"Also, where the hell are those guys? I feel like we've been here for fucking forever." He complained. Kenny grinned at this. 

"You sound eager to start shooting people. Never knew you had it in you Kyle."  
  
“You know, I'm actually am looking forward to this."  
  
"Good. Would be a bit shit if you were dreading it."  
  
"I’ve been waiting for the day to come where I can shoot Cartman repeatedly and not end up in prison.” Kenny laughed hard at that, just as a familiar voice cut through their time rudely.  
  
  
“Hey faggots. Ready to get your asses kicked?”  
  
"Speak of the devil." Kenny commented as they both looked over at their friend.   
  
“Shut up fatass! Also, about fucking time you got here.” Kyle all but snarled at the newcomer that was Eric Cartman.

Cartman glared at Kenny and muttered a "fucking hate you Kinny...", before continuing his favourite baiting sport. Vocally poking the Kyle bear.   
  
"Not fat anymore, asshole. Whereas you're still a sneaky no good Jew. Interesting..."  
  
“You still have a fat fucking head.”  
  
  
Kenny ignored the two bickering with predictable phrases he'd heard before in favour of walking around his truck, to the back, and checking his equipment. He also held out hand out for Cartman's bag, who passed it over without even pausing in his current disagreement with Kyle.  
  
They had rental guns there, but like hell was he going to use those things over his own babies. And if they were planning to win, he was gonna make sure the four of them were well kitted out.   
  
Two M9 PTP pistols sat there in their boxes. They were his favourites.  
  
Most people scoffed at him for going into airsoft games without a long ranged weapon, and they scoffed again that he went in akimbo, but he liked to get up close and personal, and he'd honed his skills in dual wielding pistols. He liked the versatility between being able to switch from single to dual.  
He had other weapons of course. He’d brought his long range guns for the guys to use. His AK47 assault rifle, his beautiful VSR-10 sniper rifle (which he wasn’t going to let Cartman touch), his FN P90 submachine gun, a desert eagle, and his (recently upgraded) M870 shotgun. He’d use the M9 PTPs for himself, and the others could pick from the rest. Except Cartman, who would stay the hell away from his sniper rifle. He'd probably trust Kyle with it, if he had the inclination towards it. Or Stan.   
  
"Heyya fellas!"  
  
Kenny looked up as Leo arrived, giving a quick wave. Leo had packed light from the looks of things. Kenny gestured for Leo to come over, and Leo, recognising that the usual two were in the middle of an argument, took Kenny's advice and made a beeline for Kenny.  
  
"Fuck you Butters." was Cartman's reply to Leo's arrival, before turning back to his bickering match with Kyle. Leo didn't take it to heart. It was more a habit greeting at this stage. Cartman had them for all of the group.   
  
"How you holdin' up Kenny?" Leo always seemed to have a perpetual smile on his face, like there were never clouds, only blue skies. And he'd let his undercut grow out, and wore his bangs held back with criss cross hairpins. It suited him, and made him look adorable.   
  
"Can't complain. School's fucking done, summer is here. What more could you ask for?"  
  
Leo offered a smile, showing straight, white teeth.   
  
"That's the spirit! Although, maybe I should go over and help those two sort their differences out..."   
  
Kenny didn't stop him as Leo headed over to the other two and began to mediate the argument between Kyle and Cartman, stopping only to smile gratefully as Kenny took his bag before he could move away entirely. Kenny couldn’t help but offer a fond smile.  
  
Leo was everything that was right in this world. He was all blond haired, blue eyed and innocent. He was Kenny's opposite (who was blond haired, blue eyed, and a despicable asshole.)   
  
Leo was a cutie that saw the best in everyone, and the four of them had eventually picked Leo up as a permanent fifth member of their group when they were around 13. He was the person that greased the wheels between them all. When Kenny was sick of Cartman's shit, or Stan and Kyle had had one of their rare blowouts, Leo was there, fixing the cracks that had formed until they were like new. When Kenny and Stan had started fighting, and started beating the shit out of one another, Leo was the one that stepped in. The one time Cartman had pushed Kyle too far and he'd snapped and decked Cartman, causing his nose to bleed, Leo was the one who had persuaded Cartman to back down and leave Kyle alone despite Cartman being angry enough to end Kyle there and then.  
  
Leo's soulmate would be a truly lucky one. And they had better be good enough for him, Kenny had always thought that a little wistfully. Leo was like Karen to him. Someone to protect from the shit the world was waiting to dump on everyone.   
  
Kenny glanced at Leo's hand. Leo had his Soulmark across the area from the top of his thumb down to his wrist. It was tiny writing, with small, clear letters in simple handwriting with no real flourish. But flourish wasn't needed.  
  
  
 _Do you think there’s anything better in this world than ice cream?  
  
_ _  
_A beautiful person, with a sweet Soulmark, clearly matched with another sweet person. It made him happy for Leo.  
  
And because it was Leo, he kept his bitterness at bay. Because it was Leo, and Leo was undeserving of his venom.  
  
  
“S’up dude.” The final member of their party grunted to him, leaning up against Kenny’s pickup truck.

Stan had arrived.   
  
“Nice of you to show up man.” Kenny greeted, his cheek softened by the grin he offered.  
  
“Overslept. Plus Shelley was being a bitch and was hogging the bathroom. I’m so done with this place.”  
  
Kenny nodded in agreement. He couldn’t agree more. He couldn’t wait to get the fuck out. They were still awaiting their results, but even if he flunked, he was packing up his things and driving away, even if it wasn’t to college.  
He didn’t even care, he was going.  
  
“Hey, ladies, you done arguing? Let’s head the hell off.” Stan called to get their attention.  
  
Ah Stan.  
  
Stan was their leader. It was never expressly said, but they all knew it. Dark haired, blue eyed, the quarterback for the school football team, He had foregone his father's terrible taste in facial hair for a more chic stubble beard style, that added a 'rough but charming' aesthetic that was complimented by what Kenny called his 'messy quiff' hairstyle, which was still neater than his own...whatever the hell his own hair was.   
  
If Leo was the person to smooth things over and keep people calm, Stan was the core of their group. He was level headed rather than hot headed like Kyle, he was adventurous, but not as extreme in craziness as Kenny himself, he was kind, but not as naive as Leo and he enjoyed a good plan or plot session, but was nowhere near as vindictively scheming as Cartman. He was always in the middle, never leaning too far one way or another. He was the most subtle in his mannerisms among the group of them.  
He was the mostly sensible, occasionally nihilistic leader of their fivesome.  
  
And the group needed that level of normal to ground them   
  


Which is why ten minutes later, on the road, Cartman was currently sulking in the back. Leo was trying to comfort him whilst having a conversation with Kyle about the last exam they’d shared, and Kyle was only mildly irked at Cartman.  
  
Kenny was busy connecting his phone up to his car speakers. Maybe it was lame, but he had an ‘Airsoft’ playlist. It was a great way to get pumped up before playing. He sang along as well, and he'd never been told to shut up, so he probably didn't sound bad.  
  
  
Although if he was told to shut up, he'd probably just sing louder.   
  
  
  
_"Hey I'm goin' home, gonna load mah shotgun. Wait by the door, and light a cigarette. He wants a fight, well, now he's got one. And he ain't seen me crazy yeeet."_ Kenny put extra emphasis on the accent as he sang.   
  
"Fuck Kinny, like you don't sound enough like a southern hick to start with, now you're singing shitty redneck music." Cartman grumbled in the back, still clearly pissy at Kenny for his last prank.   
  
Kenny grinned, sensing another great opportunity to piss Cartman off.  
  
"-Imma show him what a lil girl's made of. Gunpowdah and leaaad!"  
  
Kenny glanced at Stan with a glint in his eye. Stanm, recognising the expression, raised an eyebrow, but Kenny could see the smallest smirk, as if he knew what Kenny was planning.  
  
The traffic lights were coming up. Just have to time it. Kenny grinned as he looked through his playlist until he found what he was looking for. He waited until they had pulled up to the traffic lights. He glanced to Cartman in the rearview mirror.  
  
  
 _"His fist is big but mah gun's bigger. He'll find out when ah pull the trigger!"_  
  
  
And as their eyes met, and that line finished, Kenny switched tracks.  
  
  
 _"Four. Three. Two. One"_ The song started.   
  
  
Cartman groaned at the recognition. Oh he thought that was it? Just the song. Oh no, they were gonna have a little fun here.   
  
  
"Windows down if they aren't already boys! Time to share some good 'ol redneck spirit with Denver!"  
  
Kyle grinned, rolling his down. Cartman, his already down, realised too late what was going to happen to roll his own up.  
  
"Kinny don't you fucking dare!" Cartman could already see the people in other cars looking over curiously at the music that suddenly blared from the truck.   
  
  
_"I was born in the back woods, of a big town in the Midwest. I grew up on the backroads of the bandwagon traffic. But I still know how to fish and hunt, turn a high school field to mud. Close down every honky Tonk on a Friday night downtown."_  
  
Kenny gave it his all, loudly drawling in the most southern accent he could manage whilst singing. Stan joined in on the chorus, followed by Kyle and Leo. Cartman slid down in his seat as people in their cars now gaped at them.  
  
"You guys are fucking embarrassing..." he muttered. They ignored him.   
  
_"I'm a little bit country little bit city. Cranking that Kanye, pumping that Twitty. Blowing in the club with a 'lil bit of mud on the back of my truuuck. I got a soul like Nashviiille, with a 'lil new York, livin' in the middle like Central Paaaark. And I can't lie when I make noise..."_  
  
"-I'm a red neck city boy!" Kenny fist pumped with his left fist to the syllables as four of the five in the car belted out the final words to the chorus.   
  
"I fucking hate you so much Kinny, so so much!" Cartman was slouched low in his seat, as if fearing that the people looking over at them would know he was there.   
  
"What's that? You wanna go into the second verse?" Kenny shouted over the music.  
  
"Alright, alright. We fucking get it, you're redneck and proud. Jesus fucking Christ. I think the whole of Denver knows at this point!"  
  
"Cartman, we're from South Park. We're ALL from a redneck white trash town." Kyle stopped his singing to snipe at Cartman.  
  
"Yeah but Kinny sounds suuuuper redneck."  
  
"Not mah fault ah was born and raised bah parents from good ol' Alabama with this here fiiine southern draaawl." Kenny loudly and theatrically exaggerated what was normally at very best, the slightest twang that coloured his words very occasionally. Stan's body was shaking with silent laughter, which increased in intensity as Cartman made to sit up, saw the people looking over and slid down low again with a "Fuck!".  
  
"Ah C'mon Cartman, I think Kenny has a great accent."  
  
"Butters, you have the same fucking accent! I swear, I'm surrounded by southern hicks."  
  
"Cartman, Kenny doesn't have a fucking southern accent you dumbass."  
  
"Well what the hell does that sound like Kahl? And you just don't hear it with your inferior jew ears!"  
  
"He's just putting it on you dumb fuck!"  
  
"No! He always fucking sounds like that! Just like your mom sounds like a bitch!"  
  
"Argh!!"  
  
There was a cry of outrage, and a brief scuffle in the back, fully prevented only by the fact that Leo was sitting in the middle of the two of them.   
  
"Don't fucking fight in the truck."  
  
"C'mon fellas, let's simmer down now okay? People are still lookin'..."  
  
Stan looked to Kenny, who'd gone back to singing quietly along with the next song, a devious and satisfied smile on his expression.  
  
"You fucking started that you know."  
  
"Nah, Cartman started it. I just finished it."  
  
Stan gestured behind him, where Leo was attempting to hold Kyle from Cartman, who was taunting him.  
  
"Does that look finished?" Kenny shrugged.  
  
"Well, he's not shitting on my music anymore is he?"  
  
  


* * *

And eventually, despite arguments, statements of boredom, and Cartman's many attempts to wind Kenny up in retaliation, they eventually reached Denver. Kenny liked Denver, it was such a contrast to their little town. It seemed like an odd luxury when they passed several cinemas and at least five churches.   
  
  
"Man, I forget how..big Denver is." Kyle murmured as he watched the mid afternoon life from his still rolled down window.   
  
"Fancy ass cities haven't got shit on small quiet mountain towns" Cartman countered.   
  
"Really Cartman? You prefer our shitty town to this?"  
  
"Yes. yes I do."  
  
"Well I sure as hell don't." Kenny threw into the conversation.   
  
"Would you live in Denver?" Stan asked. Kenny shrugged.  
  
"I'd give it a go. At least it's something different right? Anyway, what do you guys wanna do? Eat? It's up to you. As long as we're up early tomorrow, I don't give a shit what we do."  
  
"Bar."  
  
"Bowling?"  
  
"Karaoke."  
  
"Karaoke's gay."  
  
"Is fucking not!"  
  
"It is, you like doing it, so that makes it gay, because you're gay."  
  
"How 'bout we eat first and see how we feel?" Leo reasoned. Everyone murmured agreement. There was blissful silence for a moment.  
  
"So, pizza right?"  
  
"Hell no, I want ribs and chicken!"  
  
"You ALWAYS want ribs and chicken."  
  
"That's because I don't wanna get too thin, and waste away and wake up and either be a skinny ass jew like you, a scrawny eboy wannabe like Butters or a twig twink fuckboy like Kinny. Me and Stan have gotta be the manly men of this group and eat properly."  
  
"Manly man? You?"  
  
"AY! Don't laugh at me Kahl!!"  
  
"This 'twig twink fuckboy' is gonna fuck up your 'manly man' face in a minute..."  
  
"Oh jeez, you tellin' me I should eat more Eric?"  
  
"Let's go Mexican."  
  
"....Oh fuck yeah, want me some tacoooos."  
  
"Yeah, I could go for some tacos."  
  
"Kyle?"  
  
"Yeah, sounds good dude."  
  
"Butters?"  
  
"I'm happy if everyone else is, sure!"  
  
"Right. Let's do this."  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Kenny was trying to park up. Really, he was. And he'd been in such a good mood up until now. They'd had food, wandered Denver and explored, visited a bar, and had agreed to head back to the motel and have an early night. And now, they were trying to get into the Airsoft parking grounds.   
  
Except, this massive ASSHOLE was in his way. And it didn’t look like he had any intention of moving.  
  
“What a prick” Kyle seethed, his furious gaze on the black monstrosity in their way. They'd gotten into the car park of the airsoft fields just fine, and had found an open space, except the SUV that had been driving just in front of them had decided they were going to stop right here, forcing the group to sit and wait.   
  
The five of them now sat in the truck, waiting for the guy to park up, back up, anything, so they could get through.  
  
Except...the asshole was getting out of the SUV, as were his passengers. Kenny rolled down his window, a faux friendly smile on his face.  
  
  
"Hey. Mr SUV."  
  


The driver of the car looked over at his voice, hand still on the open driver door.   
  
“Mind not being a total waste of space and parking right in the way?” Kenny called over, almost sweetly.

The driver responded by slamming the car door. Unimpressed amber eyes surveyed him from under a dark blue baseball cap with the red letters of CC on it, as the tall glass of asshole flipped him off and focused his attention on his companions.

  
“Well fuck. Looks like we’re getting into a fight before the game’s even started.” Kenny spoke mildly as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.  
  
“You guys up for some good 'ol fashioned beating down of Cherry Creek High scum?” He looked back at the group. Kyle nodded tightly, Cartman was grinning. Stan was already out of the truck.  
  
They bickered and argued and pissed each other off, but at times like this, they just clicked in their agreement. Well, most of them anyway.

  
“Uh, surely that’s not needed.” Leo spoke nervously as he hesitantly stepped out of the truck, looking to Kenny as if Kenny was the voice of reason here for some odd reason.  
  
“Don’t worry Leo. We've got your back. You probably won’t even have to fight.”  
  
Kenny grinned as he got out of the truck, slamming the driver’s door with a resounding bang.  
  
“I get the asshole.” he commented to Stan.  
  
“Fair. Guess I’ll take him.” And Stan gestured. Kenny glanced over. A wide shouldered brunette in a dark blue and white letterman jacket stood to the Asshole’s left, as if knowing what was gonna come, and who his opponent was gonna be. Asshole had his eyes on Kenny.  
  
Good.   
  
“You sure you want Asshole? He’s got height on you.” Stan murmured.  
  
Kenny scoffed.  
  
“He’s got height on all of us. Height don’t mean shit anyway.”  
  
“Ay! I get the black guy!” Cartman called loudly, causing said 'black guy' to scowl heavily. Kenny noted that Asshole's fist had tightened. Protective huh.   
  
“Cartman, can you NOT be a racist fuck for once in your life?” Kyle all but screamed at him.   
  
“Fuck off Jew!”  
  
“This is stupid anyway.”  
  
“You’re just sore that you have to deal with the blond spaz.”  
  
“CARTMAN!”

Well, if Asshole had reacted to Cartman's comment before, it was far more pronounced at the mention of the blond. He looked as if he wanted to switch opponents. Cartman was such a fucker.   
  
And Asshole stood there, eyebrow raised, as if questioning why Kenny even dared to approach them. Kenny just gave a vicious crooked smile, head tilted in a surveying manner as he stood in front of Asshole.   
  
“So, I’m currently gonna be generous and assume that you’re either deaf, or a fucking stupid asshole, because I’m pretty sure I can’t overlook the fact that you flipped me the bird when I asked you to move your fucking car, Cherry Creek fucker.” Kenny’s tone was almost playful, and his expression was a lazy half grin, but his eyes were dark and he was pissed off.  
  
  
Before the dark haired culprit could reply, the brunette henceforth dubbed as Letterman spoke up.  
  
“Fuck you, you South Park redneck scum. Just because your town is the shitstain on the state doesn’t mean you need to take it out on us." he eyed Kyle's jacket.   
  
"Plus, your basketball team is shit.”  
  
Kyle was there to Kenny's left in an instant. Kyle was oddly protective of his team, and this was one of his trigger buttons.  
  
“Fuck you man. Big words coming from the team that lost the playoffs last season. I'm not surprised. That was an embarrassing performance.”  
  
The brunette scowled.  
  
“Not like we lost to you assholes though.”  
  
“Watch this space. You're about to.” Stan commented mildly, boring his gaze into the brunette. Asshole, who’d been watching the exchange, looked back to Kenny.   
  
  
“You choosing us?” he asked. Without taking his eyes off his opponent, Kenny nodded once slowly.  
  
“Fuck yeah. I choose you.”

* * *

Kenny would have been scowling, but he was pretty sure he was concussed right now.  
  
And he was in fucking pain. And on the floor. At least he'd gotten pretty boy Asshole on the way down.  
  
And he was sure he heard Cartman laughing and saying "Kinny LOST??"  
  
Kenny groaned slightly as he sat up. And the world spun. What the fuck was this awfulness? What the hell even happened? Were they interrupted by a wrecking ball that plowed into HIS FACE? That felt true..sort of. Probably wasn't a wrecking ball though.   
  
He felt arms around his, and he swung out out of instinct.  
  
"Kenny chill, it's just me. It's Kyle. Fuck...Stan, gimme a hand here."  
  
"What the hell happened?" Was what Kenny tried to say, but he was pretty sure it didn't come out like that.   
  
"...Whhllhpend?"  
  
"Ah fuck. I have no idea what he was trying to say there, but that's not a good sign...I think he's concussed."  
  
"Kenny, gimme your keys. I'll park up. Kyle, keep him steady. Butters, go and see the registration office, see if you can find a first aid person. Kenny, where's your ID?"  
  
Kenny felt a hand reaching into his jacket. His pocket jingled loudly as the hand pulled away.   
  
"If they ask for ID, show them that. They probably won't look too closely. Cartman, stop fucking laughing and help Butters."  
  
And then there was a second person helping him.   
  
  
"Fuck, he looks bad..."  
  
"You got any water and aspirin?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Right, hold onto him, I'll park up, and then will sit him inside for a bit. You okay Ken?"  
  
"....Fuck....gonna fucking kill him..."  
  
"Is it weird I feel kinda relieved that he's threatening people?"  
  
Laughter.   
  
"Right, gimme two mins."  
  
Kenny kinda wished the world would stop spinning. Then he would be able to walk, and go round two with the asshole that did this to him.   
  
Why the hell did his mouth taste like blood?  
  
..Huh...he seemed to be missing a tooth. Interesting...  
  
"M'fine Kyle. Can hold myself up." He eventually managed to say. The world was starting to come back into focus. And it was thankfully stopping it's spinning antics.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm feeling...better now."  
  
"Stan's parked up, so we should head over so you can sit down. Butters has gone to try and get a first aider."  
  
"Fuck, I don't need that, I'm fine."  
  
"Dude, he-"  
  
"Someone needed a first aider?"  
  
A new voice interrupted them.  
  
"Ah, this young man here from the looks of things? Would be good to get him sitting down." The first aider looked from Kenny to Kyle as she said this.   
  
"Yeah, that's our truck over there."  
  
"I don't need a first aider." Kenny complained.   
  
"I can see that..Sit down please."  
  
And Kenny sat in the backseat of the truck.   
  
"Right, look directly at me if you can."  
  
And Kenny was blinded.   
  
"Fuck! A little warning next time?"  
  
"Eyes seem fine. Speech is...rude, but also fine. Okay, can you look at this card and follow the numbers with your eyes?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
She clearly had the patience of a saint, as she simply smiled.  
  
"To make sure you don't have a concussion. Now, follow the rows of numbers please."  
  
"2, 5, 8, 3, 9. 4, 6, 8, 3,6. 9,2, 4, 1, 5. 6, 5, 8, 9, 2. 3, 5, 7, 1, 4. Can I go now?"  
  
The first aider smiled at him.  
  
"Can you read the ones from the second box?"  
  
Kenny recited them, irritable, but compliant as Stan and Kyle watched.   
  
"What is that?" Kyle asked.   
  
"K-D test. A way of checking for concussion. Although I think your friend is fine from the looks of things. Eye tracking is fine, dilation is fine. How are you feeling overall? Dizzy, nauseous? How's your memory? Do you remember what happened?"  
  
"Not dizzy, not nauseous, and some fucker headbutted me and I went down like a sack of potatoes. Are we done?"  
  
  
The first aider turned to Kyle and Stan and smiled.  
  
"He's fine. Grouchy, but fine. No concussion luckily. Now..." She turned back to him, pulling out a bottle of something.  
  
"The fuck is that?"  
  
"Hydrogen peroxide. You're bleeding from your mouth. Open."|

And Kenny opened his mouth.  
  
"Looks like it's from a missing tooth. Doesn't look like you bit your tongue or anything, or that there's any internal bleeding." She dabbed at the now toothless location.  
  
"Awh, huuk!" Kenny complained as well as he could with his mouth open.  
  
"Right. You can close your mouth. How's that bruise on your jaw?"  
  
Kenny felt humiliated. Being fussed over after a fight like he was a kid.   
  
"Look I'm fine!"  
  
"You're playing today, right?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well, I'd suggest skipping the first couple of games, take it easy for an hour, and if you're feeling okay, join in after. And maybe don't get into anymore fights yeah?"  
  
"Yeah yeah, thanks." And Kenny pushed himself off the seat and to the back of the truck. The first aider laughed and turned to Kyle and Stan.  
  
"Little tough guy, isn't he?"  
  
Kyle laughed.  
  
"Sorry about...him." The first aider waved him off.  
  
"Oh don't worry. He's not the first reluctant patient. Make sure he hydrates and he can take a painkiller if he wants. Apart from that, unless you want me to look at that black eye of yours, we're all done here." Kyle blushed as he remembered that he looked pretty shitty himself.  
  
"Ah no, I'm fine thank you. Thanks again for your help though."  
  
The first aider nodded.  
  
"Take it easy out there. Save the fighting for shooting bb pellets huh?" and she was off.  
  
Kenny waited until she was gone, and then groaned, holding a hand to his head.  
  
"Please tell me we at least gave as good as we got."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
His face was sore. And his ribs. But standing there, listening to the airsoft introductions, he saw the people they'd fought, and he could confirm, on average, that they had indeed given as good as they'd got. Both groups were looking worse for wear apart from the teen with crutches, and Leo. They’d stayed out of the whole thing.  
  
Kenny’s eyes strayed to his team as he took in their appearance. Cartman seemed mostly unscathed, as did his opponent. A few bruises. Kyle and his opponent, the blond twitchy kid, looked different as night and day. Made sense, Kyle wasn’t a fighter, and the blond kid, well, he’d gone full barbarian on them when the fight had started. Kyle looked pretty bad, but it seemed mostly cosmetic, Kyle didn't seem to be in any real pain.   
Stan he was proud of. He’d given Letterman a shiner and a busted nose. And he’d come out pretty okay on the whole, looking relatively unscathed. 

  
No, his group had done okay.

  
Himself on the other hand, well, he’d underestimated his target. Which had cost him a tooth. A back one, so it wasn’t too much of a worry, but still. Plus, his opponent had fought fucking dirty. Which wasn't wrong, but he didn't expect street fighting from the standard brawler. He didn’t remember the last time he’d been kneed in the stomach, but fuck, it had _hurt._ Probably not as badly as the retaliation kick to the guy’s shins after he’d fallen to the ground and struck out in blind rage. He hadn’t broken them, but fuck, the guy would be limping all day.  
  
He could still taste blood on his lip.  
  
And then there was the little matter of the headbutt that had ended the fight... He remembered the small ‘conversation’ they’d had.   
  
  
  
_Kenny spat out his tooth, taking only a moment to observe it before laughing with a bloodied mouth._ _  
__“Nice shot, dick. Think you missed some.” he’d spat blood at Asshole, taking satisfaction in the fact that it had landed. Didn’t take long for the Asshole to pull him by his hoodie. He took a moment to lean in close and spoke in a deep, calm tone._ _  
__“Lesson one. My name ain’t dick, so even though it’s probably difficult for you, at least try to keep it out of your mouth."  
  
"I have had it with this shit."   
_ _  
__And then Asshole headbutted him._ _  
__  
__  
_Fucker distracted him with talking on purpose so he could get close enough. Hence the raging fucking headache and a lump on his forehead. Luckily, his hair covered most of the damage. Didn't wanna give the fucker any satisfaction of seeing the damage he'd done. That fucker had a hard head. And a way with words. If they hadn’t been in the middle of a fistfight, Kenny might’ve called it smooth. But then that would be giving Asshole credit.  
  
He zoned back into the introductory that the Airsoft marshal was giving the group, looking over the numbers they had. Wasn’t a bad size overall. Would probably be enough for fifteen a side. Decent numbers for an arena of this side. Kenny preferred outdoor arenas personally, despite having an advantage with short range weapons in indoor ones. This weekend would be a mix of the two. And Kenny glanced back over at the group again.  
  
Kenny had already decided. Whatever side he was on, it’d be opposite to Asshole. He had a score to settle. His gaze flickered to him in particular as he thought this, and he was shocked to see the guy also looking at him. And he wasn't looking away. But Kenny liked staring people down.  
  
The Asshole seemed to as well.  
  
They glared at one another.  
  
“Right, head on over to the table, get your head protection if you don’t have any, and then grab a blue or a red band.”  
  
Kenny looked towards the table. Sweet, they’d get to pick. He watched carefully as Asshole and his group walked over and selected bands. Blue.  
Cool. Red it was. He walked over, selecting his band, noting that the others followed suit.  
  
  
Now they had a legal reason to within the rules beat the shit out of the opponents.  
  
  
He was gonna end this guy. _  
__  
_

* * *

Ugh

For fuck's sake! 

His team and their team were far too equalised. And he found that incredibly annoying. 

Kenny didn’t wanna to admit it, but Asshole was pretty good. He'd been purposefully hunting him down, and so far, they’d been pretty evenly matched.

And he always knew it was him.

Even from afar, the guy stood out to Kenny. Even with headgear that tended to disguise their features. He didn't know how, but Kenny still knew. He supposed the biggest clue was probably the fact that everytime he was shot by Asshole, he would be sure to flip him off, causing Kenny to grin.

_Yep, that’s him._

It was something else though. Kenny just found it easy to pick him out of a group of players. And he made sure to aim for him if he only had one shot.

Kenny had started to mocking wave at him every time he’d hit him and got him knocked out of the game. Every time, it brought him satisfaction. Not as much as his fist in his face would bring, but Kenny was working with what he had. 

And right now, they were on the last game of the day, and he and Kyle found themselves split off from the other members of the team, hidden behind some debris, and listening to the sound of their team mates being picked off slowly. 

“Kenny, isn’t this supposed to be a team game?” Kyle muttered to him as they hid behind cover, listening and waiting.

The round was ‘hunter and hunted’. The other team was tasked with finding them and taking them all out before the time ran out. Their side had to survive. And they weren’t doing so good.

  
“Yeah, why?”

  
“It feels like both sides are ignoring the goal in favour of just shooting the shit out of each other. Our side should be hiding, but we’ve lost half of us already because they’d rather play hero than be quiet and find a place to bunker down.”  
Kenny laughed hoarsely.

  
“Sounds about right. But it's okay, we don’t need the whole team for this, we just need to survive.”  
“I reckon there's only about 6 of us left. Butters is out, I saw that insane sniper pick him off. Plus they have most of their team.”

Kenny wasn't surprised. Leo was good at many things, but he hadn't expected it to be competitive shooting.   
“Kyle, it’s the last game of the day, I’m not losing to... them.”  
Kyle was silent for a moment.

"Them, or him?" 

Kenny pretended he hadn't heard him. Despite sitting next to Kyle.   
“Aren’t you taking this a little far?” Kyle eventually probed. Kenny was half listening, currently out of cover for a moment and trying to check if any snipers were around.  
“No, what do you mean?” he replied vaguely.   
“You know exactly what I mean. I mean you and that other guy. The one with black hair.”  
“Asshole” Kenny replied absently. Had he heard someone coming?  
“Whatever. We had our fight, and it was done. We've had loads of fights and you've never held a grudge like this for this long.”  
“True” Kenny agreed.  
“Then why the hell are you doing all this?”  
“Doing what?”  
“You know damn well what. You’ve only gone after one player all game. Him. Surely you don’t have that much of a vendetta against him.”  
“He knocked my tooth out. And he fucking headbutted me. Plus, it’s not like he’s not returning the favour.”  
“I noticed that.” Kyle noted drily.

Kenny wasn't sure which part of his sentence he was referring to.

"You sure this isn't something else?" 

"Like what?" 

"Like..I dunno, some kind of...tension."

"Theres 100% tension between us. But I'm not allowed to hit him, so I'm trying to shoot the shit out of him."

"...." Kyle didn't clarify his statement any further. 

"...Point is Kenny. It’s the last game of the day. Fair enough if you need to get it...him out of your system. But after today, let’s chill out, forget all this.”  
Kenny glanced to Kyle, who looked at him expectantly.

"It'll be over today, and then there won't be any more of this Asshole nonsense."

"And, you know. If you decided you wanted his number, I won't judge."

Kenny opened his mouth to deny it vehemently, and stopped as Kyle cried out, the pellet hit him squarely on the exposed space between his covered face and his shoulder.

  
“Shit! You okay??”

  
Kyle nodded, a hand to his neck.

  
“Stay low, get down. Yeah, stung like a motherfucker, but I’m fine. I’m out though. Down to five.”

  
Another shot and a recognisable cry of cursed irritation rang out.

  
“Four. Have you seen Stan?”

  
“He disappeared early in the game. Dunno if he’s still out there.”

  
“Dammit. Okay, I guess I'll see you back at the base then dude..."  
“Yeah. I'll see you man.” And Kyle put his hands up, loudly calling “Dead man walking!” to anyone who might be around.

And Kenny was alone. 

Kenny wanted to move from their position, but from that shot, that had been a sniper shot. He had to be careful.

He had a few options. One of them was not staying here. He barely had cover. He wanted to get to one of the buildings, but getting there was a problem. He could sprint, but the sniper would see, and there was a chance he’d be hit. He could crawl, but any movement, the sniper would see.

Kenny sighed. He didn’t want to, but there was was one way.

He unhooked his final smoke grenade. This would paint a target on his back, so he needed to pick his escape route carefully and find a fucking good place to hide. He only needed to hold them back for three more minutes, and then they’d win. He scanned the area.

Sniper was most likely in the building ahead of him, or the hill to his left. That meant going right. But the buildings closer to him were predictable. It’s where everyone would come looking.

  
Kenny scowled. He was running out of time. He needed to make a move. Maybe if he got to the buildings quick enough, he could find a way out without being obvious.

  
Fuck it

  
He let the smoke loose.  
Maybe at least he’d be a distraction so the others could win.

  
He heard a shot and another cry.

Fuck. Three.

He sprinted for the buildings. And made it.

That sniper was dangerous. And he was pretty sure their own sniper for the game had been taken out pretty early, meaning there was no real way to counter them. He just had to out-wait the time.

But they’d be heading for the smoke and the buildings. And they had numbers on their side. So, he carefully headed out of the building, but on the floor, keeping to the shade. They’d come to the building, and he’d stealth take out as many as he could.

  
He froze, hearing footsteps. And then he saw a figure move past him.

And he grinned.

  
It was worth losing if he got to take out that fucker first.

  
Quietly, watching for others, he followed Asshole carefully.  
All he had to do was get close enough to hold the gun to him and say ‘bang’. He didn’t have to shoot him.

  
He heard a shot from outside, and a call of "Dead man walking!" Followed by a second. And Asshole paused at the noise. Kenny stopped, waited, remaining silent until Asshole started walking again. 

  
_Just me left then._

  
They'd probably lose this. But he didn't care. He'd take this guy down with him.

  
And he bided his time, following carefully. His grin grew wider as he noticed something. Asshole was limping slightly. He'd not noticed that earlier. And he took great satisfaction in being the one to have caused that.   
  
  
And he was just about on him, when he was heard. The smallest scuff noise, but it had got Asshole's attention and he had turned. And Kenny had moved forwards, planning to aim.   
  
  
Except, with a speed that surprised him, Asshole had turned and grabbed for Kenny's pistol, dropping his own gun to do so.

A small wrestle ensued, as Kenny tried to wrench it from Asshole's grasp. 

  
Kenny couldn’t help but be cocky as he saw he was gaining the upper hand. He wrestled the pistol out of his hands and pointed it at him.

  
“Any last words, bitch?” he panted.

Kenny saw Asshole pause his movements. 

And then Kenny felt a pain in his ankles, and his world turned sideways as his feet were kicked out from beneath him. He luckily, landed on his side, able to brace himself with his forearms slightly. 

The fucker had leg swept him. Actually leg swept him. What the actual fuck?

He was gonna kick his ass when he was up, rules be damned. 

Except, he quickly realised that he had a knee on his back, stopping him from rising. Ah fuck. He tried to twist to grab for the knee, but Asshole just used a hand to push him face down into the ground.

Kenny then tried to reach for his pistol, which he had dropped when he had fallen, but was quickly prevented from doing so as Asshole grabbed for his wrist with the same hand he'd used to shove him down. 

He watched as his own pistol was picked up, and held to his head. Kenny was breathing heavily, both from exertion of struggling to get up, and from being slightly winded from the fall. Well, that fucking sucked. The final game, the final encounter, and he'd lost. 

  
Asshole’s other hand was on the floor, balancing him, and he could see his wrist from here. He had a tattoo. One he could read all too clearly from here.  
  
  
 _Any last words, bitch?  
_  
Wait.

Waaait. 

....

What?

Fucking what?! 

He'd JUST said that. And outside of Hollywood movies, it wasn't the most common phrase. 

And again he tried to rise, but the knee forced him to the ground, and Kenny growled. And he heard the sound of something dropping to the ground. Asshole's headgear. 

And he heard it then, the words were quiet, but with a tinge of smug satisfaction. 

“...this is my win.”

Oh fuck no. 

This wasn't a thing. 

"...you...asshole! Why would you say that, out of everything you could've said?!" Kenny spat at him, pushing his back against the knee. This time, he was let up, and his wrist was released. And Kenny stared at the words on his own wrist. 

Words he’d chosen because fuck fate.

Fate was having a fucking college party right now, and he felt like the one being forced to do a keg stand. 

Kenny turned around, looking up at Asshole with ire in his expression. 

He saw an expression of shock on Asshole's face as he looked from his own tattoo, to Kenny’s tattoo. Put things together. His eyes were almost feline as they narrowed

_This wasn't actually possible. They weren't Soulmarks. They were clearly tattoos. And he hated this guy. What kind of bullshit was this?_

And Kenny flinched suddenly. His wrist _burned._ He looked at it, his entire arm shaking as realisation seeped in like a dam breaking. 

And Kyle's words came back to him in that moment. 

_"When it happens, you both KNOW."_

Panicking, he looked to Asshole’s wrist.

Where the words he’d spoken before were reflected back at him.

The 'supposed to be static' tattoo that was absolutely a static tattoo when he'd first looked at it a moment ago, was currently softly animating through the letters.

He looked back at his own wrist. 

The letters he'd chosen, the font he'd picked because he'd loved the elegant style.   
The letters glowed as they shimmered through each letter.

  
  
Fuuuuuuuck. 

* * *


	2. Sync

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Uh, so...really weird request-"
> 
> "I'm not walking away singing 'another one bites the dust' with you again. It was once, we were drunk and-"
> 
> "-No dude, it's weirder than that."

* * *

##  **  
CHAPTER TWO**

##  **Sync**

* * *

_Chapter Two Song (Kenny’s): She - I'll Be Around  
Chapter Two Song (Craig’s): She - Falling For You  
_

* * *

  
  
Kenny could do little more than remain where he was, barely a step up from what was effectively sprawled on the floor, and stare. He couldn't move even if he wanted to. He felt glued to the spot, just staring up at this person.  
He could vaguely hear the noise of the final game being over for the day, of people calling out that it was over, and to head back to base, but their area was empty apart from them, and all Kenny saw was this person looming over him, looking for all accounts, less freaked out than he probably did. Oh, he looked confused, and slightly disbelieving, but he wasn't exactly 'freaking out'. Kenny on the other hand, was doing a _marvellous_ job of that. He felt that he couldn't be blamed for it, because Kenny wasn't just reading this from Asshole's expression. No, because it turns out, he could _feel_ how the guy felt. 

And the sensations. Of all the things he'd imagined from this stuff, he never would've expected this. 

And Kenny wanted to deny it. Oh, he wanted to deny it so hardcore. This was not his fate. He did not belong with this asshole, surely? This guy was supposed to be his Soulmate? Who'd matched with his _tattoo_ and who also happened to have a tattoo? Or at least he assumed it was. It certainly hadn't fucking been moving when Kenny first looked at it. And now like his, it moved. Unless he imagined it...Maybe he had gotten a concussion, and it had been severely delayed until this moment.  
  
But upon glancing towards his wrist, he could confirm that yes, the mark still glowed and animated. Fuck. There went his reasonable explanation. At least the burn was less...intense now. That was good at least, now he only had to deal with the rest of the shitshow he'd been presented with, but don't worry world, his tattoo didn't burn as much!   
  
  
Fuck  
  
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck  
  


Fuck, Kenny didn’t want to get involved in any of this cosmic nonsense. Fuck no. He’d made the choice to take his life into his own hands. Fate had fucked him over initially, so he had turned its back on it. That was what the tattoo meant. Fate didn’t get to BARGE back into his life when it fancied it and cruelly use his mark of liberty and choice against him like this.   
  
Fuck.

That.  
  
And fuck this guy.  
  
Kenny pulled his eye protection off in irritation, in white hot rage, dropping it to the ground. Against the rules to remove headgear before getting back to base, but fuck if he cared at this moment.   
  
  
Kenny looked up at Asshole, anger in his eyes, ready to spit vocal venom, his mouth opening to do just that.  
  
And he stopped, the words he was going to say entirely forgotten as he looked up to challenge this...person who had fucked over his life. And he regretted his decision he'd made almost instantly. For the first time since they’d met and crossed blows, Kenny actually, properly _looked_ at him.  
  
And okay, before the fight, he'd briefly thought _yeah, wouldn't chuck him out of bed,_ but that had _definitely_ been a fleeting thought on his way to the more cemented thought that _this guy needs his fucking ass kicked._ And okay, maybe he had really nice eyes. And they looked really fucking hot when he was angry. But that didn't mean shit. Just fleeting, albeit descriptive and detailed thoughts. Nothing meant from it.   
  
Oh god, had he been attracted to this guy before they fought? What kind of fucked up shit was this? And why was his brain only informing and reminding him NOW of thoughts that had gone by far too quickly in the heat of their fight. Was this why he'd hunted down the guy all day today? Was it not just a matter of revenge after all? Had Kyle been right??   
  
He acknowledged and ignored the thoughts and questions swirling in his mind as he observed his...his what?  
  
Opponent?  
  
Rival?  
  
Soul-

Nope, he wasn't going for that one. 

Artfully messy black hair, that had been hidden under a stupid school team cap (which when Kenny glanced over, he noticed had been knocked off during their scuffle), amber eyes, currently tinged with distracted emotions as he looked slowly at Kenny's wrist, and his own. Clear, pale skin with a tinge of colour from today's sun. Straight, cut, jawline leading towards a beautifully, almost elegant neck.   
  
Yeah, he'd say it again, would _not_ kick him out of bed.   
  
No wait, he absolutely fucking would! especially after the stunt he just fucking pulled. Who told him he could match with Kenny??  
  
  
...Huh, Asshole had really adorable ears.  
  
  
....  
  
  
...What the fuck was wrong with him??

  
He felt so fucking confused. He wanted to be angry. Oh he wanted to be SO FUCKING ANGRY. But he kept being distracted by the thing he was angry at!  
  
  
Was it weird that Kenny imagined that he felt the guy's confusion?   
  
It was probably weird yeah.   
  
And then his eyes flickered to Kenny's.  
  
Okay, maybe he wasn't imagining it. Kenny was almost positive he knew exactly how this guy in front of him felt. And not because he was an empathetic sort. He just knew, he could feel it.  
  
He felt like he could feel two pulses, that his body almost _sang_ with the sensation of it all. The heavy and volatile and confused and... _something else_ emotions that were absolutely coming from Asshole.  
  
And Kenny was _still_ on the floor, still unable to move, just..looking up at this bastard of a person with the prettiest damn eyes he’d ever seen on a person. Jesus how was he legally allowed to walk around with them?  
  
Kenny internally groaned at his stupid, inane, dumbass thoughts that were doing nothing to help them out of this situation. He should hit his head on a wall. Or ask this guy to headbutt him again. That'd work. But would the guy agree? He didn't seem angry like he himself was, so probably not? Although, maybe he could phrase it as 'getting them the fuck out of this situation.' Maybe if he antagonised him.  
  
 _  
Hey Asshole, you are one hot motherfucker!_  
  
  
For. Fuck's. Sake  
  
His libido needed to shut the fuck up. Seriously.Just for a minute so he could think about anything else, preferably something useful, something that would solve this problem of them still standing (and sitting) here doing nothing. How could he shut his brain up? But not all of it, just that part.   
  
Maybe Kenny just needed to openly admit it to himself rather than denying it over and over? If he admitted it, then he could move on from it? Like when you have an annoying song stuck in your head, and listening to it helps it go away.  
  
 _Fine. Okay asshole, you are hot. Very hot. And you have dumb beautiful eyes, that look...amazing when you're angry, and are fucking distracting as fuck, which I'm totally blaming as the reason I lost the fight. 5 star review on yelp, "would absolutely fuck' etc etc. But who fucking wouldn't?? No one's gonna see you at the door and go "Nah". They'd be fucking crazy._  
  
And then Kenny felt something both very horrifying and terribly shocking. Up until now, he had felt snippets of what Asshole had been feeling, but he hadn't even considered that this went two ways. But right now, at this very moment? He was _pretty sure,_ based on the response, that Asshole had UNDERSTOOD him. Even though that was stupid and not possible.  
  
Just like how it was stupid and impossible to feel the still confused, but now agreeing feelings from the guy in front of him, but in the opposite direction. About him.   
  
  
Hold the fucking phone for a second. So, he not only admitted something pretty embarrassing, this jerkwad had heard him AND responded.   
  
Fuck. Asshole thought he was hot as well. And big surprise, didn't help his libido calm down so much as...feel encouraged.  
  
Kenny flushed heavily. Both in embarrassment that he'd been heard, and..embarrassment that there was a two way attraction. Embarrassment all round! Never mind the fact that Kenny didn't blush, today was a day for all new experiences!  
  
Nope, this was not him, this was not HIS control. This was weird soulmate chemicals doing this. No he did not just...  
  
Fuck! He fought this guy earlier, this guy headbutted him! Now was NOT the fucking time to be blushing of all things! He hated this guy, right? RIGHT?? Yeah, he must do...  
  
Right?  
  
.....  
  
  
.....  
  
  
...He didn't hate this guy.  
  
  
....  
  
  
....Not even a little

....

  
....It was the opposite in fact...  
  
....  
  
  
.....  
  
  
Fuuuuuuuu  
  
  
Why didn't he hate him? Why not? Why the fuck not?? Hate was easy to deal with. You punched hate, you dropkicked hate. He didn't know what the hell this was, or how to deal with it.   
  
  
Kenny felt like he was very drunk, nauseous and out of control. Everything felt waaaay too intense, and he was feeling things he felt he wasn’t giving permission to himself to feel, and yet there they were, bright as day. And asshole over there knew he was feeling them and-shit, he needed to LEAVE. He couldn't stay here.   
  
And he felt like he couldn't breathe, that he was shaking slightly.  
  
  
He was scared of what he might do, what might happen if he moved an inch. It was one of two directions. And he told himself he wanted to run in the away direction, but he didn't have confidence in himself that it would turn out that way. There were warring feelings inside him, and they were like magnets pulling in opposite directions. And if he listened to both, he would pull himself apart. So he would have to choose, but he couldn't trust himself. He might betray himself.   
  


Highly agitated now, Kenny ran his hands through his hair in distress. He almost jumped as he heard a voice out loud.

"Don't…fucking...do that." he heard Asshole growl, before he looked away from Kenny, his jaw tensing. The swirling feelings from Asshole were too difficult for Kenny to be able to piece together, there was too much going on.   
  
Why couldn't he freak out and take it out on his hair?  
  
Why did that bother asshole?  
  
Why did that voice not piss him off to hear it?

  
Dammit! That voice was supposed to piss him off. And it had before, it wasn't doing that right now. Not at all. Ah fuck.  
  
The answer lay in that swirling mass of feelings. Kenny tried to discern what they meant, but there were too many, he'd have to try and figure them out one by one.   
  
There were some feelings he recognised, because he himself had been feeling them. Distress, panic. But there was something to those feelings. A catalyst of sorts. They were being felt in response to something. Which sounded stupid, feelings were always felt in response to something. But these ones, they were...like the situation wasn't a worry, it was something else.   
  
It was too intense. Kenny felt like he was hyperaware of the sounds, scents, visuals, but his eyes were blurry and he was trying to squint and figure everything out. And Kenny 'squinted' harder.  
  
  
Kenny... _felt_ him. Not feelings, but actual sensations of what he was feeling. Asshole’s hair _currently tickled the back of his neck, it was annoying him, and he'd been planning to get it trimmed. His shins really fucking hurt right now because of the adorable blond creature in front of him, who was thinking too much, too loudly, too intensely, and he didn't know how to help him, but he couldn't help because he was the cause of the panic and the blond wanted him to stay away. And he kept looking panicked and distressed and he just wanted to HELP._  
  
Kenny pulled away from the mass of thoughts and feelings. Asshole knew he was freaking out, and that he wanted him to stay away. But when he acted panicked it frustrated Asshole because he wasn't allowed to help.  
  
The idea that the person in front of him knew that he was freaking out despite no outward indication made him freak out _more._ And he could feel a flutter of hesitance, the tiniest tentative questioning on whether he could help, and Kenny felt like he was choking in indecision. He wanted both comfort and fuck no staythehellawayfromhim!  
  
Kenny looked up. Amber eyes showed the slightest outward flicker of concern. Kenny was truly, absolutely freaking out, and didn’t know what the hell to do. And Kenny felt an odd...softness, of wanting to help him somehow. And Kenny couldn’t breathe, couldn’t accept the help, couldn’t refuse it. He was stuck in this limbo the two of them sat in. And Kenny knew, if Asshole stepped forward to help him, Kenny would give in, and Asshole _knew_ that he didn’t want to give in, so didn’t step forward. 

Asshole was only resisting because he was. Because he didn't want him to come near.  
  
Asshole was frozen, not moving an inch, barely breathing, his gaze holding Kenny's steadily. Kenny's own worry and panic was worrying and panicking Asshole. Which in turn panicked Kenny more because he was panicking someone because he was panicked and they were stuck in the most vicious of cycles. 

Kenny needed to take action. He needed to leave, they needed to separate.   
  
He, very slowly and carefully, reached for his phone. Dialled a number with one shaky hand. Watched Asshole like a scared hawk as he waited for the person on the other end to pick up, put it on loudspeaker.  
  
  
  
 _“Kenny? Where the hell are you?”_

"Come and get me in the buildings. The ones we were near before you got shot.”  
 _  
__“Dude, are you hurt??”_ _  
__  
_“No, I-I'll explain why later, but I can't...move? Please hurry. Also, Asshole is here. Bring one of his friends." _  
__  
__“What the-did you get into another fight? I TOLD you to stop trying to look for him! You don’t even hate Cherry Creek. Stop using fighting as an excuse for something else!”_ _  
__  
_Kenny _felt_ something new. Asshole was...amused. His expression was still tense, but Kenny felt it. And Kenny felt nothing but embarrassment.  
  
"Uh, Kyle...you're on loudspeaker."  
  
" _...Ah shit. Ignore me...Fuck..."_

“Look, Kyle, I promise I’ll explain more. Just...get here quick, grab one of his friends, and get us out of here, okay?”  
  
 _“I don’t get it, but...okay man. What’s his name?”_  
  
“What?”  
  
 _“So his friends know who I’m talking about. I can’t just say ‘Come and get your friend Asshole', like you spent the day calling him.”_

Fuck, Kyle. This was a terrible, awful time for him to run his mouth off.  
  
“Uh…” Kenny looked to Asshole.

"...Craig." 

That name. Kenny felt its…rightness. And he ignored the thrill up his spine at learning it. Fuck that name. He fucking hated it.   
  
  
_Your name fucking sucks. I hope you realise that. I will never like that name. Asshole...._

  
"It's...Craig." he repeated to Kyle, sure that Kyle was unlikely to have heard the low tone. 

_"Cool. Uh, well we'll be there soon. Try not to kill him before we get there? And same to you Craig, whatever you guys do, don't fight or kill each other before we get there!"_

Kenny gave the slighted pained smirk at the phone. 

"I'll see what I can do."  
  
  
  
He hung up the call. He avoided looking at Assho--Craig. Dumb fucking name. What kinda name was _Craig_? It was basically one letter off of Crag. And who wanted to be named after a hunk of rock?  
  
And despite his best efforts, Craig somehow found those thoughts amusing rather than them pissing him off. Fucker. In fact, that was now his full name. Craig 'Asshole' Fucker.   
  
And all he got for his frankly creative naming was a large wave of amusement, and a feeling that Kenny didn't understand the full joke. Which irritated Kenny, so he decided that the best course of action was to think neutral thoughts and ignore any sensations that came from the other person with them. Best option was to pretend he didn’t exist. As much as he could do anyway. Fucker was still distracting to his now hyped up libido, but whatever, he'd been fighting it so far, he could keep fighting it a little longer.   
  
His wrist. His tattoo, his…whatever the hell it was. The traitorous mark on his skin. It was tingling and burning and itching, and Kenny placed his hand on it carefully, covering it. He could swear it felt hot. He glanced back over to his…uh...to..Craig.

Who was watching what he was doing. There was still a tension between them, but the thread was less taut now, or maybe they'd gotten a little used to it. Maybe the key was Kenny insulting Craig in his head.   
  
But, he was very curious about something.  
  
“Question.”  
  
Kenny spoke quietly, carefully. It was a risky move, talking. But he needed to know.  
Silence for a moment. Hesitation was felt.  
  
“What?” Craig eventually ground out.  
  
Their conversation seemed to be working okay. He was able to handle the rushes of feeling somewhat from hearing him, at least enough so that as long as he dug his nails into the ground roughly, he could just about manage it. He gestured to Craig’s own mark carefully, inclining his head ever so slightly.  
  
  
“Tattoo?”  
Craig nodded.  
“Same.” Kenny confirmed.  
  
  
And that just built up hundreds more questions. He wanted to ask so much more. Did that mean that they matched? That Craig also didn’t have a visible Soulmark? That he'd done the exact same thing as Kenny and had it tattooed over?   
  
He felt a wave of returning curiosity in response to his curiosity. And now that Kenny's initial panic had faded away somewhat, he could sense something else there. Something he’d buried under all this other shit. Something Craig wasn’t forcing on him, but it came through in moments like this.  
Craig found his incessant questions and curiosity endearing. Despite their fight earlier, now, he felt no animosity under his own. Craig's own thoughts were general curiosity, worry, concern, frustration, and an odd...softness that he wouldn't have associated with the brawler he'd fought.   
  
Craig was...a lot gentler in his thoughts than he would've guessed. And there was a finesse to how he managed this. Craig didn't throw thoughts at him and demand his acknowledge them. He let them ebb by, not worried if they were missed, more focused on the times he did want his thoughts felt. It felt like the surface of a lake. Occasionally there were ripples, but they were gentle.   
  
And Kenny had basically struck that calm surface with lightning and forced it into large rolling waves. Kenny hadn’t even taken a moment to actually feel how Craig was feeling. He’d shoved his own feelings and thoughts to the forefront and…  
  
Craig had gone along with his wishes.  
  
Kenny felt..bad. Guilty.   
  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
Kenny whipped his head up.  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
“If you...want me to stay away, you need to stay angry.” Craig said it in a rush, almost afraid he wouldn’t be able to get the words out.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Don’t fucking feel bad!”  
  
And Kenny felt it. That wave of _something._ He couldn’t decipher it, but it prodded at him, as if checking on a patient. And Kenny heard the step towards him.  
  
  
“Kenny?”  
  
  
And if Kyle hadn’t turned up just then, hell would have broken loose. Kenny knew it would’ve. He inwardly sighed with relief.   
  
  
Kyle walked over, probably noting the odd dynamic. Kenny half sat, half lying on the floor, braced on his arms, and Craig just stood there, not moving.  
  
Kenny chanced a look at the other person with Kyle. One of Craig’s friends had followed. The twitchy blond who went all badass barbarian during their fight.  
  
“...Have you guys been fighting again?” The blond asked, looking quickly between the two. Kenny pulled his sleeve down over his wrist and nodded.  
  
“Something like that.”  
  
“You two have been doing this all day. If you get into another fight you'll get us thrown out." The blond commented as he approached Craig, but didn't elaborate. Kyle had nodded along with this sentiment. Traitor.  
  
Kenny watched as Craig reached out a hand, placing it on the blond boy’s head.  
  
“Tweek, chill out. It’s fine.”

"You're being stupid. It's not fine."

  
Kenny honestly didn’t know where it came from. He wasn’t jealous by any means, he’d shared partners before.  
  
But the wave of jealousy that built within him at that small movement shocked him, and he quickly snuffed it out.  
  
 _What the hell am I even thinking? Get it together McCormick!  
_  
But Craig had caught the slight sensation, and had glanced over at him. So not quickly enough. Fuck, it’s not like he even _cared_ about this guy!  
  
  
 _Don't go thinking that I care either way asshole. It's not like I like you or anything.  
_  
  
It was this dumb mark’s fault. His tattoo that betrayed him. He was NOT going to act like a possessive asshole with a stranger, especially when it went against his nature of carefreeness.  
  
He felt a brush of something. A feeling he couldn’t identify. It was...gentle, questioning, oddly..affectionate?   
  
Why? Why was he feeling affection? He was being a prick, and was pushing this guy away, trying to get away.   
  
_  
Hate me dammit!!  
  
_  
  
"Right, well. The game is over. And we’re done for the day. We need to head back, hand in our shit. You guys don't look hurt, so, shall we go?" Kyle reasoned.  
  
Kenny nodded, and with the greatest of difficulty, he made it to his feet. Slight pain throbbed in his ankles. Oh yeah, he'd been leg swept. Fucking ow.   
A very quick, elusive feeling sped by him. Disappointment? At....  
Kenny glared at the dark haired teen as he realised what the disappointment was for. Craig didn't want him to go.   
  
And Kenny decided it was an awful, awful, terrible time to even _think_ about the idea of blushing. And when he went to walk away, he took a step towards Craig.   
  
Well that wasn't right. Away from Craig definitely wasn't towards Craig. He was no school whiz kid, but he was pretty sure that towards and away were not the same thing. Unless you wanted to get philosophical about it. And he did not. He wanted to get out of here.  
  
Oh this was gonna be super embarrassing and weird. 

"Kyle..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Uh, so...really weird request-"  
  
"I'm **not** walking away singing _'another one bites the dust'_ with you again. It was once, we were drunk and-"  
  
"-No dude, it's weirder than that." Kyle raised an eyebrow, his green eyes slightly narrowed.  
  
"I'm both intrigued and incredibly worried."  
  
"Can you like...physically walk me out of here?"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"...Say what?"  
  
  
"I don't think I can do it myself."  
  
"Are you hurt?" Concern replaced suspicion.   
  
"Uh no, I-I mean yeah I'm a lil hurt..but it's not that bad, I can walk, I just...can't."

Kyle fixed Kenny with a _look._ This one was _'What the fuck did you drink/smoke before coming here?'_  
  
"Dude...you...okay?"  
  
  
  
...Aw fuck, he just wanted to _leave!_  
  
  
"Kyle. I **promise** I’ll explain it to you, just...please...humour me here."

Kyle looked confused as hell, but recognised the impatient and slightly desperate look on Kenny’s face as something Kyle needed to do now and question later. He walked over to Kenny, putting his hands on Kenny's shoulders and turning him towards the exit.   
  
"Like this?"  
  
"Yeah, that's fine."  
  


Kenny _felt_ it then. A hot lick of dark possessiveness. And he'd heard the step. And the quiet, barely spoken _"fuck..."_  
  
  
  
Jeez, they really were a pair weren’t they? A pair of truly fucked up people. Maybe that's why they had the misfortune of matching. Well, this plan wasn't going to work if Kyle touching him caused Craig to follow.   
He glanced up at Craig’s blond friend.  
  
“Uh, Tweek was it?”  
The boy jumped ever so slightly at being addressed, but it seemed to be more habitual than actual surprise, as his expression seemed anything but alarmed.  
  
“Yeah, that’s me.”  
  
“Equally weird request."  
  
Tweek nodded.   
  
"Yeah, I get it." But he looked at Craig for a moment, who looked returned the look.  
  
And he needed Craig to do this for him. Tweek was clearly waiting for Craig's say so.   
  
  
_Look, I'm...sorry, but I can't do this. Let me go, and don't follow me. Please.  
  
_ This was too much for him. He needed some space. He could not _do this_.  
  
And despite already putting up with a truckload of Kenny's selfishness in the matter, he felt it. A simple acceptance.  
  
Craig looked back to Tweek, and nodded. And was pointedly avoiding looking at Kenny now.  
  
  
Kenny looked away before Tweek touched Craig. He didn’t know what the fuck the weird possessiveness was, but clearly it was stupid, and this was how it was to be avoided. 

Fuck, Kenny suddenly felt so bad, almost guilty. He should face this. But he absolutely couldn't. Not now. He needed to run.   
  
And as Kyle gently led him away from the room, somehow not questioning why Kenny was resisting slightly, Kenny felt a new sensation. And he couldn't identify if it was his or not. 

Feelings of regret, of loss, an odd pang that grew more and more taut as they moved further away, back to the base, a good ten minute walk from them.  
  
And then it snapped.  
  
And everything was gone. All of it. All the feelings. All the sensations, the probing. As if a door had been slammed, and Kenny almost gasped aloud at the shockingly quick way it had happened. He was shocked at how used to it he'd gotten, and how...weird it felt now it was gone.

It felt fucking awful. Logically, there was no reason to feel that way. But he knew why. 

He'd been cut off from everything. It almost made him want to scream at how…lonely it felt. He was back to the way he used to be. He used to be happy with this, and now he had it back...he hated it. It just wasn't enough.

And his mark. It had stopped moving, stopping burning, stopped glowing. Static, still, silent. Like the thoughts and feelings inside. Empty and cold. A space he'd never noticed before, like a corner of a room that had always been empty and, but then one day, the corner was lit up with fire, and it was warm and comforting. But then the fire went out, and you couldn't help but notice that corner space when it was gone. The emptiness of it.  
  
  
It felt miserable. This was how he used to be. He'd been happy like this apparently.   
  
And Kyle, upon feeling that Kenny was no longer resisting being pushed, let go, noting that Kenny was fine to walk on his own. And as if he sensed Kenny's sudden mood change, he didn't probe, just helped him to the truck, and told him that him and the others would get the equipment, to just sit and wait.   
  
And Kenny sat in the truck, vacantly observing the numbness he felt, reanalysing what he was left with. Was this all that he was actually left with as a person once he removed Craig?   
  
And he felt everything else pass like a blur, people getting into the truck, slight bickering, talking, loud exuberant tones. Kyle was in the passenger seat, and running interference, stopping the others from probing too much at Kenny's quietness. 

As the others talked and argued in the car, Kenny ran fingers over the tattoo for the umpteenth time, ignoring the concerned looks that Kyle was giving him. He eventually broke out of his haze enough to look at Kyle, and mouth 'later' to him. Kyle subtly glanced back at the other three, and nodded. 

* * *

  
  
Kenny had realised pretty quickly that he could not spend the rest of the weekend moping. So, he put on an awe inspiring performance that evening. The five of them watched motel movies, ate snacks, generally fucked around, and Kenny made sure to laugh the loudest, tell the lewdest jokes, start a mini argument between Kyle and Cartman and generally look like he was having the time of his life. They went into detail on their play by play in airsoft, with the group admitting that it was pretty fun. 

"There's just something about shooting people…" Cartman said thoughtfully as he pulled the liquorice laces just out of Kyle's outstretched hand, causing Kyle to throw his empty can at his head. It bounced straight off Cartman's temple and he swore at the redhead, who'd used the distraction to grab for the laces. 

Kenny didn't allow himself to think about what had happened at all. He'd realised that he could pack it away into a small box, seal it up, and ignore it. As long as he didn't acknowledge the existence of the box, it was fine. He ignored the gnawing void that had yet to leave, even after hours. He didn't acknowledge a single moment of it whatsoever. He refused to react to the internal realisation that it was potentially the last time he'd see Craig, that the last time he'd spoken to him, he'd told him no, to stay away. It's not like they'd swapped contact info, and Kenny didn't know if the group were playing airsoft for the entire weekend. Some people came for just the day. 

And that absolutely did not bother him down to his core whatsoever. So what if he never saw some random stranger again?  
  
Kenny was pretty sure he had himself convinced by the time they’d turned in for the night. He’d avoided talking alone with Kyle, but they were sharing a room, so he couldn’t really put it off any longer. But he was okay now. He'd explain what had happened, and it'd all be fine. No problemo.  
  
  
“So.” a voice from the door said as they closed it behind them. Kenny looked to the redhead, who was looking an off mixture of concerned, confused and unimpressed.  
  
“So” Kenny agreed, sitting cross legged on his bed. He kept trying to pat his fluffy hair down from the shower and blow dry session he’d had, without success. He gestured to the mug of tea he’d made for the redhead, who nodded his thanks. Kenny had his own fingers curled around his mug, holding it for the warmth more than anything. The heat highlighted the fact that his knuckles still stung slightly from his earlier fight. And he'd noticed bruises on his ankle earlier, which he kept firmly tucked away under his legs.  
  
Because he didn’t have bruises on his ankles, or ripped skin on his knuckles. There had been no fight.  
  
He wasn’t missing a back tooth. He couldn’t feel the space where it used to sit when he absentmindedly poked it with his tongue, fascinated at the missing space.  
  
Kenny was king of denial.  
  
Kyle put his mug next to his bed, and flopped onto the bed with a long sigh of satisfaction. Kenny understood. Today had been long, rough, muddy and painful. Showering and hitting bed was a great feeling after a game.  
Usually anyway.  
  
  
“Soooooo...” Kyle spoke with his next outward sigh, his long red hair fanned out behind his head as he turned his head slightly to look at Kenny.  
  
"A needle pulling thread?" Kenny offered, causing Kyle to roll his eyes.  
  
“Wanna tell me what the hell that was today?” Kyle fixed his gaze on Kenny pointedly.   
  
“Dude…”  
  
“Don’t bullshit me Kenny. You promised.” No more dodging then.  
  
  
Kenny exhaled noisily.  
  
  
“Okay fine. But don’t tell anyone. And I mean it. Not Stan, not anyone, and _especially_ not Cartman, okay?”  
  
Kyle nodded.  
  
“So...uh, in the game earlier. It was the last game. You'd gone down, and I figured I'd try and make it to the buildings, I managed it, but then-Assho-uh, Craig turned up in the buildings. And I figured, I was the only one left, if I was going down, I was taking him with me."  
  
"Naturally. Because you'd been doing that all day."  
  
"Uh yeah. So, I managed to get behind him, and I was sneaking up behind him. Except he heard me, and tried to grab for my gun. I got it back."  
  
"And then you both simultaneously realised 'hey, we like each other and we're using violence as an excuse to get close, maybe we should get a coffee or something instead?'"  
  
Kenny gave Kyle a dirty look and Kyle held up his hands.   
  
"Sorry, continue."  
  
"So, I thought I’d be cocky, so after I got the gun back, I said..something cocky. Didn’t think anything of it. Except he leg swept me, managed to get me on the floor, and had my pistol against my head. I would’ve admitted defeat at that point-"  
  
"-Lies."  
  
"Hey, who's telling the damn story here?"  
  
"You are. Not well, but you're telling it." Kenny gave him a middle finger at that.   
  
"So yeah, and after that, he said...something.”  
  
“So. You got into another scuffle, which he won again. And you said some things?"  
"Yup"  
Kyle sighed.  
"Kenny. Stop being vague. What were these somethings?”  
  
“I dunno, I didn’t do anything, it just happened man.”  
  
“Things don’t ‘just happen’ Kenny.”  
  
"That exactly how things happen man!"  
  
"Kenny, stop deflecting."  
  
“Ugh…”  
  
Kenny wordlessly held up his wrist. Kyle looked mildly confused for a moment.  
  
“He read out your tattoo?”  
  
“Dude, he hadn’t _seen_ it before saying it. He said it first. And the thing I said to him. It’s on his wrist. Which I said before seeing it.”  
  
Kyle bolted upright, his green eyes widening.  
  
“Wait. WAIT. Isn’t that the space where your-”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“So, you both said each other’s tattoos?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
"In the space where you definitely have your Soulmark?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Kyle frowned suspiciously.  
  
“...You’re holding out on me. There’s more. No fucking way did that happen and that's it.”  
  
Kenny rolled his eyes.  
  
“Dammit Kyle, you should join the Spanish inquisition."  
  
"Really? This is something you consider _torture_?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"..Don't care. Tell me the rest."  
  
"Fuck. Yeah okay fine! The mark. It.. _might -_ and I mean might- have started animating and glowing and...burning?”  
Kyle took a moment to register what he’d been told, and then his eyes widened.  
  
“Wait. Waitwaitwait. Do you mean to TELL me that your TATTOO that you CHOSE was actually your….”  
  
"Keep in mind I could have also been having a stroke, or delayed symptoms of concussion or any other reasonable explana-"  
  
"-Kenny, this is fucking BIG! But...why isn't it like, you know, moving now?"  
  
Kenny shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know. When we left, it stopped moving and everything. It’s just a tattoo right now.”  
  
And Kyle was up, and plopping himself on Kenny's bed, and reaching for Kenny's arm, which was met with resistance, which was countered with "Stop being a baby, I just wanna check it!"  
  
And Kenny eventually allowed Kyle ministrations and pokes and prods.   
  
“Feels like a tattoo. Well, that’s more than a little unusual...”  
  
“It is?”  
  
It was Kyle’s turn to roll his eyes.  
“Keep in mind, Soulmarks always move, until they Sync. Yours has never moved, and only moved when you linked. That's back to front. You'd fucking know this if you'd turned up to the CLASSES.”  
  
“There was no point. I didn’t need to know that stuff.” Kenny argued. Even he had to admit it was a weak argument now.  
  
“That’s come back to bite you in the ass, hasn’t it?”  
  
Kenny glowered at him at the fact he was rubbing it in, and Kyle held his hands up in a pacifying manner.  
  
“Okay, okay, let’s take this one step at a time. So, based on what we learned, the specific experience is different and wildly varies, so it’s hard to pinpoint what’s going to happen when you meet your soulmate(s), but there do tend to be some general consistencies across everyone. Except, as I've said, that has not applied in this case, you've somehow done it back to front. I mean, your case is already...bizarre, but, this is..well I've never heard anything like this, even with other obscuricus cases. But...I can tell you what I know. I don't know if it will help.”  
  
Kenny nodded, resisting the urge to pull his knees up to his chest and hug them. He already felt like a child for not knowing any of this, not bothering to learn.  
  
“So. Soulmarks. They animate, as you know. And once the Soulmarks have been matched, well, they activate. Usually with the word, phrase or image. But, I wonder how that worked with yours? Like, what if it was a different phrase, or you had the tattoo removed or changed?”  
  
“Kyle.”  
  
“Sorry! Sorry I just...it’s kinda fascinating you know? Anyway, from what I’ve been told, the Soulmarks activate the initial time, and then there’s a...transition period. Ooooh wait! I realised."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, this is gonna sound weird, but when you first match, you HAVE to go to one another. You can't resist it."  
  
"And yet somehow I'm here. Well that solves that, we're not Soulmates. What a load off."  
  
"Hang on, we don't know that yet."  
  
"What do you mean? We haven't followed the rules. I fucking ran away Kyle. And by your own words, I shouldn't have been able to."  
  
"Yeah, but there are other things we need to check. Bear with me. So, to recap, soulmates read/match each other's Soulmark, it glows, you are compelled to go to each other. And then after that, there's a transitional period, where you get used to being apart, because there's a link. And the effects are different depending on the link. Most people just feel a sense of belonging with one another. A few studies state that some soulmates have vaguely felt what the other feels, and in some extremely rare cases, they can sometimes converse with one another. There's other...claims, like vision sharing, memory sharing, hearing clear thoughts, pain share, and other claimed effects, but they're unfounded at most, so we'll stick with the examples I gave. Now, these apparently can strengthen over a long period of time. That's called Sync."  
  
“How long does this ‘Sync’ take?”  
Kyle shrugged.  
“Apparently it varies. But it tends to take a long time. I think shortest recorded was about a month? Longest recorded was 72 years. Some people never fully Sync. I guess it takes time for souls to sync?”  
  
"So, you didn't have the compulsion-"  
  
"Well, that's not entirely true. We were able to resist it, but it was there."  
  
"This makes no sense. It's like, you have the signs, but also not at all. You have a soulmark, but it was invisible, but you tattooed it, but you both knew each other's, and you felt the compulsion, but you were able to resist it. Kenny, this is some weird shit. Have you had anything else I mentioned?"  
  
"The feelings thing was there. And...I can't be sure, but I could've _sworn_ he knew what I was thinking at him..."  
  
Kyle was shaking his head.   
  
"I..none of this is matching anything I learned." He admitted  
  
  
Kenny fell back onto his bed, a frustrated growl leaving his throat.  
  
“Of course it was gonna be difficult. The bastards never bothered to give me a proper mark, and now they’re not gonna give me an easy ride either.” Kenny was sorely tempted to scream into his pillow right now. Instead, he took a breath, counted to five, and let it out.   
  
“So...Kyle, I wanna hear more on this Syncing, and the sorts of effects. Even the 'unfounded ones'. Let's assume they're just as valid here.”  
  
  
“Well...again, it varies, but when you’re synced, well...if we're including everything...Some can hear each other thinking, or feeling, some are able to pinpoint where their soulmate(s) are, can see memories, one person claimed they could see and hear through their soulmate's body, another few people states they felt their soulmate's physical sensations, there’s some people that talk about spiritual experiences, but I dunno how much I believe that...and then there's-”  
Kyle stopped.  
  
“What?”  
  
Kyle was blushing.  
  
“Jeez Kyle, what?”  
  
“Well, there are studies on syncing and..uh, bedroom romance.”  
  
Kenny scoffed.  
  
“You’re such a fucking virgin."  
  
“So what?” Kyle defended, his cheeks pink.  
  
“Just say ‘the fucking is out of this world’. Bedroom romance, tch.”  
  
“Not all of us have decided to fuck around with casuals. Some of us wanted to save ourselves.”  
  
"Have you even fucking kissed anyone before?"  
  
"N-none of your business!"  
  
"So, no then. Seriously I'm gonna congratulate the person who blows your mind someday with all this.”  
  
"Can we stop talking about this?? I'm saving it for my Soulmate, that's not a bad fucking thing."  
  
“And I’m sure your soulmate will _love_ that. Although...if they’re your 'other half', I bet they actually would. I almost feel bad for you. Your first time is probably gonna be with another virgin, neither of you are gonna have a clue what is going on. And that makes _no_ sense to me, I like a partner with experience.”  
  
“Guess Craig must be that way inclined then.”  
  
It was Kenny’s turn to turn red. He sat bolt upright on the bed, looking at Kyle with clear agitation and embarrassment as he saw the glint of revenge in Kyle’s eyes.  
  
“F-fuck you man! Who cares what he thinks?!”  
  
"I gave you a chance to stop talking about it."  
  
"Fuck you Kyle."  
  
Kyle laughed, and Kenny flipped him off.  
  
"So, what I've gathered from this, is that I don't have a fucking clue what's going on, but it's _something_ , because there's this..feeling."  
  
"Feeling?"  
  
"Yeah, like a gnawing, feels empty, like something is missing."  
  
"Ah, you mean the threadsnap."  
  
Kenny blinked.  
  
"What the hell is a threadsnap?"  
  
"Oh if only this pure, innocent child had gone to his classes dutifully, he wouldn't need to ask me this." Kyle spoke as he looked up at the ceiling.   
  
"You don't get to call me pure and innocent until you can have a conversation about sex without acting like your crush just asked you to prom for the first time."  
  
"Do you wanna know what a fucking threadsnap is or not?"  
  
"Okay okay, I'm sorry."  
  
"Threadsnap. When you go too far from your soulmate. It's a link between you, and it has a very short range early on, but over time, it can supposedly stretch over countries and continents. In the transitional stage, which is where you are, the distance is going to be very short. You're supposed to stick close during the transitional period. But hey, you're also supposed to be pulled to one another initially anyway, so I'm not sure treating the rulebook like a bible is the way to go here. But yeah, if it snaps, something people try to avoid, it feels awful."  
  
"Oh good. I'm so glad that all I got out of this was this fucking feeling. When does it fade?"  
  
"It doesn't until you lessen the distance."  
  
Kenny sighed, all the air leaving his lungs as he flopped backwards onto the bed once more.   
  
  
"Fucking. Fantastic."  
  
"Tea's gone cold. Want another?"   
  
_"My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why, I got out of bed at all."_ Kenny sang softly.  
 _  
  
_"...So, that's a yes?"  
  
"..Yeah, sure."  
  
The room was quiet apart from clinking and kettle noises, almost peaceful for a moment.   
  
_"The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all, and even if I could, it'd all be grey."_ Kenny continued to sing as Kyle busied himself with the activity. Eventually, Kyle returned with two steaming hot cups of tea. He placed Kenny's cup on the side, returning to his own bed.  
  
“Hey. Kenny?”  
  
“...Yeah?”  
  
  
“What _does...it_ feel like?”  
  
“What does what feel like? It? You mean sex? Mm, varies depending on partner from ‘meh’ to ‘fucking awesome’.”  
  
“No you perverted asshole! I mean...what does it feel like...you know..connecting with your soulmate.” Kyle looked wistful as he looked down at the bedding, picking at the fluff with one hand, the other firmly holding onto his mug.  
  
“Don’t they teach that in class?”  
  
“Well...it’s different for different people. Besides, hearing about the theory is different to...actually feeling it.”  
  
"We're not even sure if what I have is soulmateism."  
  
"Still...it might be. And I'm curious..."  
  
Kenny considered it for a moment.   
  
“It hurts.”  
  
“Hurts?” Kyle looked concerned, and Kenny waved him off.  
  
“Right now I mean. It feels...like I can’t go back to the way I was. I can’t imagine or fathom how I was happy with how I was before. It feels empty, like...I dunno, someone just suckerpunched me, but spiritually, or some crap like that. Like I’m half a person. Fuck, I sound lame.”  
  
Kyle burst out laughing at the explanation, and Kenny gave a crooked half smile. Yeah, it sounded ridiculous. And he could laugh at himself.  
  
“Is that what it felt like when you were there? With him?”  
  
Kenny covered his eyes with his forearm.  
  
“It was like...being crossfaded. Except none of the shit side effects. Only the good ones. The fucking great ones. And I realised there and then 'well fuck, you're actually pretty damn attractive and for some weird reason I wanna be near you.'. Except I wanted to run away as well. And..fuck, it was like...I was angry with him, but he knew, and he was angry, but I realised he was only acting angry because he’d realised I was using it as a defense mechanism, and then I was panicking, and he was worried, and hearing him _care_ was almost too much, and it was like having two people in my body at once, and fuck, there were feelings and sensations I couldn’t even translate-”  
  
Kenny stopped his tirade abruptly. He was getting into dangerous territory. Kyle looked utterly fascinated.  
  
“It sounds like it felt good.”  
  
“I bet it would’ve felt fucking amazing if I’d let it happen rather than run away like a bitch.” Kenny muttered. He remembered then that he had a new, hot cup of tea, and sat up to reach for it. But Kyle’s next question stopped his outstretched hand.   
  
“Why did you run away?” Kyle probed.  
  
“I’m not meant to have a soulmate. I’ve told you this before.”  
  
“Everyone is meant to.”  
  
“Not me.”  
  
“Kenny, of _course_ you’re supposed to. Surely Craig is proof of that.”  
  
"Some proof, it's all backwards and doesn't match anything properly."  
  
"The important stuff is there though. You deserve a soulmate."  
  
“No, you don’t get it Kyle. It’s not about not deserving one. I wasn’t meant to, it was a part of my plan. I spent years telling myself I didn’t NEED one. I’d decided ‘fuck fate deciding shit for me, I’ll make my own damn decisions, no one is telling me who I love’. And then this happens, and I _almost_ can’t fight it. I wouldn’t have been able to, it was only because you turned up at the right moment. It’s like being a prisoner. I only gravitate towards him BECAUSE he’s my…” Kenny stopped.  
  
“...soulmate. You can say it you know.”  
  
“I don’t WANT a fucking soulmate. I don’t need one! I NEVER needed one, and I was FINE. And now he’s turned up, and he’s broken me inside FOREVER, and I feel shit and I can’t get back to the way I was, and it's HIS fucking fault and I didn’t ask for ANY OF THIS!”  
  
Kyle was looking at him startled, Kenny wasn’t sure why. Was it the shouting? Surely Kyle was used to him shouting by now. He'd had pretty much all their lives to get used to it.  
  
And then he felt the wetness in his eyes. Ah. That was why.   
  
“Ah, fuck!” He sobbed, scrubbing at his eyes. Kyle made to move over.  
  
“Don’t you fucking dare. If you come over, I will start bawling. I’m on the damn precipice right now, and I-”  
  
Too late, Kyle was sitting at his side, an arm around his shoulder.  
  
“C’mon Kenny, it’s okay…”  
  
Kyle’s soft tone broke him.  
  
And Kyle sat there patiently as Kenny cried out his frustration and anger and fear and loneliness.  
  
And a tiny part of him mourned at an opportunity of a lifetime, lost.  
  


* * *


	3. Amusement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s you! The...the guy that g...got his ass handed to him by Craig.”
> 
> “Look...not here to fight. Can you and your friends just keep the fucking noise down? My friend is asleep and shit.”

* * *

##  **  
CHAPTER THREE**

##  **Amusement  
  
**

* * *

_Chapter Three Song (Kenny's): Clara Mae - Us_   
_Chapter Three Song (Craig's): Finding Hope - 3:00 AM_

* * *

Long after Kyle had fallen asleep, Kenny was still lying there, looking up at the ceiling of the motel. He stared vacantly, head resting on his arms.  
  
He’d fought to get comfortable, and had long since given up on the battle with the duvet, kicking it away from him. He had eventually extended the olive branch by wrapping one bare leg with the duvet, and leaving the other out in the coolness of the room. And then he had decided his pillow was really uncomfortable, and no matter whereabouts on it he lay, whether he turned it around for the cooler side, there was no agreeing with this damn pillow. So he'd thrown that to the floor. Which is why he was lying on his arms instead.  
  
He wasn’t really thinking of everything in particular, he’d reached a sort of odd calm. Similar to the calmness he'd felt when looking through Craig's feelings. His thoughts were like a water strider across water. There, observing, but not breaking the surface tension of his mind. His thoughts were safe as long as he skated across it carefully, and it brought him some semblance of peace, or as close to peace he could get considering the situation.  
  
The pang and gnawing inside him was still there of course, but it was like being hungry for a certain amount of time. Eventually, as time had gone on, it had faded away to ‘almost background’. You were always aware of it, but it didn’t register as much, and he barely even felt it now.  
  
It was so silent. Not outside, no, motels were never really that silent. But, inside himself. He should be relieved, his inner space was his own again, no invading thoughts, feelings, sensory intrusions. It was all his again.  
  
God it fucking sucked.  
  
He rolled his eyes, sighing lightly. Despite the vague motel noises, Kyle was undisturbed. He was a heavy sleeper, so that made sense.   
  
Kenny glanced at the led clock on the bedside table. The green numbers glowed 02:28. Most of the motel had settled down, and Kenny found something oddly tranquil about that magic moment of night when everyone was asleep.  
  
And, almost as if the motel was yawning, a car pulled into the motel car park, lights flashing and cutting through the window blinds, hitting the bedroom walls, fading to red. Kenny lazily watched them until the car stopped. And doors opened and he heard loud, drunken laughter. Late night revellers coming back. Kenny glanced over at Kyle. Still fast asleep.  
The car doors were slammed, and Kenny listened to one of the people as they began to sing horribly out of tune. Kenny smirked. Wow. He’d never quite heard “On your Mind’ covered quite like that before.  
  
He listened to the vague drunken conversation and laughter, not quite catching the words. There was a group of them, the voices varied enough to identify that much. One of them had an obnoxious laugh. And then he heard the sounds of many people saying their goodnights as the group seemed to split out into smaller groups, the noise lowering. He heard the sound of a key in a lock, and realised they were about to get some next door neighbours. Well, as long as they didn’t wake Kyle up. He didn’t feel like he was gonna sleep tonight anyway, so it wasn’t gonna bother him.  
  
And at first, it was fine, a few thumps, obnoxious dumb laughter.   
  
But as he listened, and heard the telltale signs of revelry continuing on in the room, he realised that he’d have to deal with this. They would wake Kyle up otherwise.  
  
He sat up, groping in the dark for his jeans. After a frustrating few moments, he found them hidden under the villainous pillow he'd banished to the floor. He didn’t know where the belt was, despite not having taken it off his jeans, or his hoodie, but he supposed it didn’t matter, he was going next door, not to a red carpet event. They should consider themselves lucky he was turning up fully clothed at all. He buttoned up the jeans, deciding against shoes. He was fine barefoot. Walking quietly towards the front door, he opened it and slipped out.  
He took a moment to appreciate the coolness of the evening, pulling on the collar of his tshirt for a moment. Fuck it'd been hot in that room in comparison to out here. Maybe he could sleep in the bed of his truck? It felt so much nicer out here. Fuck, even the gnawing had pretty much disappeared. So it was just something he had to get used to. Thank fuck for that. Kyle had been exaggerated.  
  
He eyed the bed of his truck, and just as he was mulling over the idea, a crash reminded him of why he was out here. He decided to forego knocking on the door next door, opting for kicking loudly on it instead, wondering why he was even bothering. Kyle had probably slept through worse. Jeez, the effort he went to for pointless reasons.  
  
  
“I’ll geeet iiiiit!” He heard called. And then the door opened to a cheerful, and clearly drunk brunette.  
  
Wearing a stupid Cherry Creek letterman jacket.  
  
Sporting a black eye.  
  
“Ah shit, of course it had to be you.” Kenny muttered. The cosmic forces were _really_ a piece of work recently. Apparently fucking with him was their current pastime. He should send them a gift basket or something.

The cheerful look left the brunette’s gaze as he recognised Kenny.  
  
“It’s you! The...the guy that g...got his ass handed to him by Craig.”  
  
 _Why me? Why fucking me?  
_ _  
_Well, may as well get something out of this shit-show.  
 _  
_“Look...not here to fight. Can you and your friends just keep the fucking noise down? My friend is asleep and shit.” Kenny said warily, trying to keep his voice low. If his friends were here, there was a fucking great chance _he_ was nearby, or in that room, and he did not wanna deal with anymore of this shit tonight. He now just wanted this sorted so he could get back to bed. And potentially stay there for the rest of forever.   
  
And he was _annoyed._ He thought the gnawing ache had improved and diappeared because he'd gotten used to it. Nope, just turned out his 'other half' was in this motel somewhere. Yeah, getting this done and sorted was a great idea, just in case.   
  
Unfortunately, luck was not on his side, as the brunette leaned against the door in what was clearly an _‘asshole mode activated!’_ pose. Kenny narrowed his eyes. He'd better not fucking _dare._ He did not have the time or the patience for any shit tonight.   
  
“Why should we give a damn whether we keep you up? Not like you can do anything about it. Unless you’re looking for an excuse for the tooth fairy to visit again?”  
  
 _I will not plant my fist into his face. I will not plant my fist into his face  
  
_ Kenny chanted in his head, remembering his main goal, to get this done and get the fuck back inside. He was getting irritable, and felt oddly lightheaded all of a sudden.   
_  
_“Look, whatever. Like I said, not here to fight. Just keep it the fuck down.” Kenny spoke as civilly as able, considering he was considering pulling the brunette out of the doorway and showing him exactly who would be needing the tooth fairy tonight. He was betting that Letterman would love a sidewalk facial. Or maybe he'd be the one to love Letterman getting one. Details. In fact, if he knocked Letterman out...the noise would stop. Problem solved right?  
  
There was a feeling of confusion and curiosity in his mind. No, he wasn't confused, he liked this idea. And yet the feeling persisted. Which then confused him. So, he was confused now?  
  
  
  
...Ah fuck.  
  
  
  
Kenny figured it out moments before he heard the tired sounding, weirdly familiar voice from inside the room somewhere. And he’d taken a step back, and a second one, just as the call to Letterman was made.  
  
“Who’s at the door?”  
  
“The mouthy blond kid you beat up earlier. He’s bitching about the noise or something.”  
  
Fear. Panic. Realisation. Those were all reasonable words for how he felt currently. Confusion was long gone, and he almost missed it, even though he realised that the initial confusion hadn't been his.   
  
The concern felt in response to his feelings hit him around the same time as the realisation hit him of what was going on. And he was _absolutely sure_ this time that the concern he was feeling wasn’t his own.  
  
 _Ah fuckfuckfuck. Nope!  
  
  
Bail!  
_ _  
__  
_And Kenny was sure that if he didn't move his ass, he was gonna end up face to face with the last person he wanted to see right now. And he didn't have Kyle to save him this time. And he honestly doubted that Letterman would be any help with anything to anybody.

Kenny did not wait to hear a response from the brunette, despite the fact that he was begging for his face to be introduced to pavement.  
  
Nope. Getting away from the encroaching feelings that were sneaking up on him was more important than taking out his frustrations on the quarterback. Lucky fucker. Saved by Kenny’s own inability to deal with the situation.  
  
And before the brunette could even react, Kenny had darted back towards their motel room door, through it, and had closed it in record time.  
  
He then locked it, and slid to the floor right there, his heart hammering. And not a moment too soon, as he vaguely heard a voice that wasn’t the dumbass brunette’s outside. It was too quiet to catch the words, but he didn’t need to. He could _feel_ the asshole. Who was keeping his distance feeling wise, but was unmistakably there.  
  
A low toned question.  
  
“He fucked off. Guess he’s scared of you. Not surprised.”  
  
 _Fucker. Next time I’m going for him_ Kenny vowed silently to himself.  
  
Another quiet question that was too low to catch. Kenny could probe with this weird...feeling sensation thing, but that would invite the other to do the same, and he didn’t want that. It just..hung there at the moment, but neither seemed to push it. Craig probably thought he was gone, and wasn't looking for him, and Kenny was not going to prove him wrong.   
  
“Dunno. I looked away and he was gone, man. Said his friend was asleep next door. Somewhere around here. And he ran off before I could see which door.”  
 _  
Asshole!_ Kenny inwardly cringed. Any hope that Craig might have thought he’d left the area sharpish was dashed. And it didn't take long for Craig to identify where he was. Which was odd as hell that Craig just knew.  
  
This weird thing they had was proving itself to be nothing but a nuisance. Right, damage control time.   
  
  
_Don’t you dare come knocking. I will finish what I started and this time I will break those fucking shins and your pretty boy face!  
  
_

And Kenny was pretty sure that somehow, his message was understood. Despite Kyle saying it wasn't usually a soulmate thing. Despite being behind a door hiding instead of saying it face to face. Despite being nowhere near the two outside. And Kenny wondered if it was entirely unreasonable to freak out again. It seemed reasonable to him. The only saving grace was the distance, the fact there were walls and a door between them.   
_  
_He’d missed further parts of the conversation, because, to his great relief, they were heading back into their room.  
  
“-beat ‘em today, and if they’re playing tomorrow, we’ll do the same.” Was the last thing he caught from the brunette, before the door was shut.  
  
Kenny felt his heart drop into his stomach.  
  
They were gonna be playing tomorrow.  
  
Why can’t these assholes just LEAVE?? Was it too much to ask that Kenny was given a break?  
  
He could not handle another day of this. His willpower was only so much. He couldn’t handle _this.  
  
_ _  
_...It'd definitely wake Kyle right now if he screamed into his traitorous pillow.  
  
  
 _I should’ve punched him. I’m too pent up, need to let off some steam. It’s not too late. I just need to stop being an utter pussy about it and walk over there, bang on that door, and when he answers the door, just DECK him.  
  
_ _  
_Kenny wasn’t sure who he was referring to by 'him' anymore. In the grand scheme of things, he probably wouldn’t say no to punching either, or even both of them.  
  
  
  
  
He would do it.  
  
..  
  
If he wasn’t secretly scared.  
  
..  
  
Of that idiot out there.  
  
  
Oh he looked like the fucking lamest coward at the moment, cowering behind a motel door at almost 3 in the morning, hiding from one person. Who absolutely had no antagonistic intentions towards him.  
 _  
_Kenny hugged his knees. No one was here (or awake) to see him cower like a kid, so it was fine.  
  
  
Plus, if there had been any small chance of sleep before, it was long gone now, so he was gonna take whatever comfort he could get. Even if that was from a firmly closed and locked door, and his knees.  
  
In fact, he was probably just as safe in his bed, and it was probably a lot more comfortable.   
  
He stood, pulling off his jeans, and silently slipped back into bed. The duvet, as expected, had gone from irritating to comforting. And he decided he was over his feud with it, and pulled it close. As an afterthought, he almost apologetically reached for the pillow on the floor, which upon lying on, gave nothing but comfort and support. He suddenly loved the feeling of this duo. Duvet and pillow, here to save Kenny from insanity.   
  
“Why didn’t I just stay in bed to start with?” he complained under his breath as he made himself comfortable. 

And he settled back into bed and that finalisation, ready to stare into nothingness for the rest of the evening, and probably fret and worry about what tomorrow would bring, and how he was going to deal with it.

At least the gnawing, empty feeling inside him had stopped. He felt less broken.   
  


Huh. Silver linings and all that shit.   
  


Kenny bit his lip thoughtfully, right on the area it had been busted open. He tasted copper, but didn't care too much. He was bad at letting things heal without poking, picking and biting at them. A bad habit, but there were worse vices to have.  
  
  
The loud noises from next door had stopped. At least one good thing came out of all this. Kyle could keep sleeping peacefully. He hoped that unconscious bastard was thankful.

  
His wished his heartbeat would slow down. He took a moment or two to relax, and take stock of the situation. Maybe if he was logical about the whole thing, his body would see that and calm its shit the fuck down.   
  
  


He was protected by four walls.   
  


Craig was next door  
  


His heart just skipped a beat.   
  


His heart was a dirty traitor.   
  


Letterman was gonna get his ass handed to him.   
  


He couldn't do that.   
  


Because Craig was next fucking door.   
  


He'd be seeing Craig again tomorrow as well.  


He was going to stop thinking of Craig.   
  
  


…His brain was a dirty traitor. 

He continued this inane circle-jerk of thoughts for a while, chewing the ever-loving hell out of his sore lip. It was a good twenty minutes of this before he realised that he felt something different. It was weaker than before, gentler and not any sort of intense. Tentative. Almost as if asking permission, placating, as if approaching a cornered animal.  
  
Oh. Looks like Craig wanted to talk. Or feel, or whatever this was. 

Kenny lay there, considering carefully, analysing the sensations this time. They weren't as intense as before, and he felt a little more in control of the situation. Mostly. His body was still responding like a young teen with their first crush. Oh god he was turning into KYLE.   
  
  


Increased heart rate? Check 

Doped up on dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin? Check

Sleeplessness? Double check   
  
  


He'd always watched people fall for others, and he found the way they acted ridiculous. 

_I'm definitely acting ridiculous right now.  
  
_ He sighed. _  
  
I can't run away from this forever I guess. And it's just a conversation. Of sorts. Doesn't have to mean anything beyond that._

And it didn't feel THAT great. 

… 

Okay, he was lying. It felt fucking amazing. And addictive. And he wanted more.   
  


…There was nothing wrong with indulging it right now, right? Just a little bit.   
  


There was an entire wall between them, he was safe, and in the morning, if he wanted to dropkick Craig, it was all good.   
  
  


_Hear that asshole? Just because I want you doesn't mean I won't kick your ass afterwards.  
  
  
_

Kenny hadn't realised that he'd inadvertently reached out, until he felt a prickle of sensation, and a feeling that wasn't his own push gently against him.   
  


_Amusement  
  
_

Kenny knew that one from before. Apparently he was quite the amusing person. Or Craig was easily amused. And he hadn't realised, but he had grown oddly fond of that sensation.

And again, he felt a reply. The smallest thread of counter-fondness returned. Gently.  
  
How the hell was this guy so gentle with this, when he'd only yesterday headbutted him. 

Also, how this asshole could be _fon_ _d_ of him was beyond him. Kenny would be the first to admit that he had been nothing but a pain in the ass. They hadn't even known each other for more than a day, and already they'd gotten into a fight, and then all this mess afterwards. Kenny was under no illusion that they hadn't gotten off on the wrong foot. Plus he'd threatened Craig, run away from him, denied him, told him to fuck off, run away again, threatened him again.  
  
It was almost becoming a pattern. Craig turned up, Kenny would do the aforementioned in some sort of order. This must be some kind of Soulmate bullshit right? No one would willingly put up with his behaviour otherwise and stick around. In fact, Kenny had discovered that pretty quickly when sleeping with people. He needed to get in and out before they realised what he was really like. He almost felt sorry for Craig. Forced into liking him. Really drew the short end of the straw there.  
  
  
Although...  
  
They hadn't started liking each other after they'd linked. If he put his cynicism to the side for the moment. Kenny had already had to face the embarrassing and irksome truth that yeah, there had been something there before all of this soulmate stupidity. Which true, had turned into beating the shit out of one another to start with, but Kyle was kinda right. He like fighting, loved it in fact, it was in his core. But he didn't usually start fights with randomers just because they'd flipped him off.   
  
In fact, now he really thought about it, that was a really stupid overreaction to such a small thing. Almost like he was looking for an excuse.   
  
But why? He hadn't even seen Craig before realising he wanted to fight him. And if things had gone differently, would they have fought at all? Would they have gotten close in a way that wasn't headache inducing?  
  
So, he could establish that okay, he had wanted _something_ from Craig from the beginning. Which had gotten worse when he'd seen Craig. Oh fuck yes, he couldn't deny that, he'd basically admitted it out loud at this stage. And then they had gone out of their way to find each other during the games. And there were a decent amount of players, it wasn't the easiest thing to do. And the mocking waves, and the flipping off after taking one another out. Was that some kind of fucked up way of _flirting?  
  
  
_ He'd put that theory in the maybe box. The rest however, was true. And then there was the weird manner of Craig's takeout. No one in airsoft did that kind of thing. People didn't go round leg sweeping other people, or trying to take their gun. Especially when they had their own (far more effective) gun.   
Just like someone (him) who had another (Craig) in their sights didn't try to sneak up on them when they had a clear shot from a safe distance. Everything they'd done hadn't really made logical sense. So if they weren't doing it for logical reasons...  
  
Fuck, was Kyle right? Had it all just been weird attempts at closeness? Fucking Kyle. Smartass.

So, assuming Kyle was right, and he didn't know how or why, but somehow, under their bullshit and their (okay fine, _his_ ) melodrama, even before they'd linked they'd _liked each other.  
  
_ They liked each other.

And clearly he'd broadcast a lot of that, because if there was a sensation for the word _'duh'_ , that was what he felt now in reply to his declaration, and he couldn't help himself. It was partly shock, partly catharsis, mostly Craig.   
  


He laughed.   
  


_Satisfaction, Pride, Fondness.  
  
_

Wait. The asshole had felt his laughter?   
  


_Confirmation. Agreement.  
  
_

This was _weird.  
  
_

_Agreement. Fun. Interested. Curious.  
  
_

So. He wasn't thinking out loud in terms of feelings and emotions, but that's how they were translated across from Craig. He assumed it was the same the other way around. Maybe something he could ask Craig-

Wait. No. He wasn't planning on anything beyond tonight. He shouldn't even be doing this. 

Kenny sat there, considering, deliberating...

_Fuck it_

He wouldn't promise this fucker anything. But hell, they could have tonight he supposed. Kenny stopped holding back. Just for tonight. Just in this small admission. He wanted to feel good. Just a little. For once.  
  


_Okay, despite my wishes, I like you, you attractive asshole. I somehow, despite everything, despite the fact that we fought, and the fact I don’t even know you...I like you a fucking lot. Like, I don't just go around punching random people for stupid reasons believe it or not. And I blame this whole soulmate thing. Even though I just established, and you almost certainly heard me prove to the contrary. So...fuck you I guess?  
  
  
_

More amusement, and then… _something else  
  
_

Kenny frowned. He was still learning the language of 'feeling-fu'. Still, he didn't need to understand it to enjoy it. It was encompassing, and protective, and different to fond. Better.   
  


It felt amazing. Very affectionate.

Ah, that was it.  
  
  


_Affection.  
  
  
_

Testing the waters, he tried to replicate the feeling. It was difficult to replicate a feeling. 

_Fuck. How the hell do I tell you that I'm feeling affectionate you giant bag of dicks?!_

Oh wait. That was how. Sorta. Pretty sure there was irritation mixed in there, and it might not have been the feeling so much as the words...but maybe that worked?  
  


 _Confused amusement_   
  
  


Kenny grinned. Yeah, that was probably expected from that attempt. It was odd how…entertained he felt. He wasn't sure where his feelings began and Craig's ended. They'd been expressed, and were looping together. Now it was a mix of affection, amusement, confusion, some irritation…no, exasperation, that was exasperation. And that was how he felt currently. No wait, there was irritation AND exasperation, but the irritation was at his own shittyness at trying to get his points across effectively.  
  


_This is so weird. Does this happen with all soulmates? Are we even soulmates?  
  
_

_Mutual curious.  
  
_

Kenny had a thought just then, of talking face to face with Craig, and him only speaking in single words, like "Curious. Amused."

Kenny couldn't help it, he laughed again. Almost immediately, he felt a large wave of affection, and another feeling, similar to affection, and fondness, but detached in some way. 

Fuck, this was fun, and addictive. He could drown in this all night.   
  
  


_Agreement. Amusement.  
  
  
_

Kenny wanted to figure this out. Like, could you use any word, and associate it with a sensation? Was it just feeling sensations, or were there others?   
  
  


_Agreement. Thoughtful. Curious. Questioning.  
  
  
_

Huh, so was Craig just as curious about it as Kenny was? Or was Craig pointing out how curious he seemed?

Kenny felt…embarrassed. Up until now, Craig had taken all this in his stride. Probably because he went to classes unlike himself, so knew what to expect. Kenny had just freaked out about it.  
  
He was fucking this up in every way, at every single step. He was a class A dick wasn't he? And not in the cool, sexy way. 

He felt a new sensation. And this was…complicated in its layers. And he liked it a lot.  
  


It was an odd, tickling, bubbling feeling that was like the sensation of bubbles from fizzy drinks on your skin, except it wasn't skin in this case. And it was contagious, almost like…fingers gently and quickly tickling up your neck, but with a rolling and bubbling fizziness. It was a..little like how your mouth felt when eating popping candy, but lighter. It was similar to happiness, but more spontaneous.  
  
Spontaneous happiness...  
  


… Was this how it felt when Craig laughed?  
  
  
Oh that was now his favourite feeling.   
  


Kenny felt the sensation fade, and was a disappointed that it was gone. He wanted to say _laugh again_ but that was a fucking weird thing to say. 

He wondered if that was how it had felt for Craig when he laughed. He wanted to laugh again, but felt that a forced laugh wouldn't work. Plus, his attempts would probably wake up Kyle.  
Plus, it was totally possible he was making this all up. Maybe Craig had coughed and he was translating it wrong. He didn't think so though. He didn't know how, but he was almost sure he was right. 

Although...if he managed to make Craig laugh, maybe it'd wake up that dickhole friend of his. Kenny couldn't hold back both his amusement at the idea and his disdain for the brunette, and realised that it probably wasn't a great idea to trash talk someone's friends, especially when emotionally connected to them. Even if he was an utter dick.

Kenny winced, waiting for anger or irritation. But instead, the reply was a complicated mix of new and old feelings. 

Agreement, and fondness, but not directed at him, vague fondness rather than direct.  
  
Apparently these feelings were developing sub classes. And there was a feeling that seemed opposite to agreement. He could hazard a guess. 

Agreement, but disagreement and fondness. 

"Well gee, thanks for that Craig, that makes so much sense." Kenny spoke out loud quietly.   
  


A pause, and the same feelings as before, but this time, slower.   
  


Kenny felt a little bad he'd been sarcastic, and Craig had sensed that, but was also thankful that he could try and translate them again. 

So, definitely agreement and disagreement. So, he agreed with him, but also didn't. 

…. 

…He'd come back to that bit.   
  


Fondness directed elsewhere, and..the last was amusement, at him. So he wasn't annoyed. 

There were four sensations he couldn't identify, and one of them held the key to Craig's meaning here. 

_Okay think, I don't like him, but he's Craig's friend.  
  
_

Ah, that was the agreement disagreement. Like, he understood…  
  


Another of the sensations slotted into place at his realisation. Understanding. So…he understood why Kenny didn't like him, but he was Craig's friend, so he agreed he could be a dick, but wasn't always that way? 

This was hard.   
  


Kenny felt Craig's amusement at sensing his bemusement and confusion. 

Kenny got the…gist of it. His own friends could be dicks, but they were his friends, and he had their back. Made sense. Sorta.

  
He received the reward of a warm feeling at his agreement. That one had been in the puzzle before, but this one was isolated, and directed at him, so he found it a lot easier to figure out, especially as, unlike the last time it was used, this time it was just all encompassing.   
  


_Closeness._

  
Kenny liked this one a lot, and attempted to return the sensation, trying to highlight the...bliss? Fuck, he was bad at this. He was trying though.

  
He received a small, almost illusive one. Like Craig didn't want to draw too much attention to it. Kenny had caught hold of it though.  
  


_Wistfulness.  
  
  
_

And one he recognised all too well now.   
  
  


_Closeness  
  
_

And…a gentle, non intrusive, slightly darker one.   
  


_Longing._   
  


Kenny sighed, looking at the door.   
  


He wanted to be closer too.  
  


And were he a normal, simple person who just waited to meet their soulmate and embraced it, he'd probably say hell to it, and throw both the doors open, elbow drop Letterman on the way, and throw caution to the wind. 

He was so fucking torn. And he was absolutely under no illusion that this was just like a fun trip on drugs. The high was amazing. But...at the end of the day, this wasn't something he'd wanted. And maybe if he’d looked forward to the idea, it wouldn’t be an issue.  
  
But he hadn’t.  
  
He’d committed himself to the idea of being alone. Because no one would want to be with him when they had their own soulmate out there. And he’d come around to the idea.  
  
Which was why he’d cried his eyes out tonight. Because this thing he’d never even dared to hope would happen, had. And it had almost taken away the choice he’d made. Hell, maybe if they hadn't linked, they could've chosen each other, without any cosmic fate nonsense getting in the way. And Kenny would've been happy with that. But they were tied together, locked in. They had been dictated to that this was the person they were supposed to be with.   
  
And it was just so unfair how addictive this was. And just like any addiction, anything that was considered a vice, he wanted this. And he knew he only wanted it because he was addicted to it.  
  
Imagining for just a moment, that Craig hadn’t been his soulmate. They’d’ve fought, played airsoft, and then they would've likely gone their separate ways. There had been something there, but would they have really pursued it if it hadn’t been forced.  
  
By those damn cosmic bastards.  
  
  
And okay, okay, maybe a bit of it was that he was too proud to quit. He wanted to be better than his weaknesses. He didn't want to be vulnerable, and weak, after being strong for so long.  
  
He didn’t want it to be for nothing. His loneliness, feeling like an outsider, his loss of hope growing up, denial, his giving up, resentment, apathy, scepticism, cynicism.

And then after today…  
  
 _Shock, denial, pain, panic, stay away, distress, upset, anger, stay away, distress, denial, denial, denial, panic, distress, distress, distress, fear, guilt._  
  
Craig caught him by surprise with that.  
  
Was that how he had felt to Craig earlier? When he'd had his freakout?  
  
  
 _Confirmation.  
_  
  
Well fuck. Now he felt even worse. Plus, he still didn't have a solution. Yesterday, he’d’ve said fuck it to the idea of soulmates. Even earlier today, he was under the planned assumption that he’d never see Craig again.  
But now, they were doing this.  
  
  
 _Thinking. Deliberating. Thinking, Thinking, Thinking. Overwhelm  
_ _  
__  
_Kenny laughed, not expecting that as a reply after his mini mind rant that probably made no sense.  
  
  
 _Endearment_ _  
_  
  
He really wanted to compare this with speaking to Craig. Especially as they’d never actually had a conversation.  
  
  


_Eye roll. Invitation  
  
_

Wait. Eye roll? Fucking eye roll?

Kenny had more than a suspicion that his thoughts were far more coherent to Craig than Craig's were to him. It seems like Craig could follow his many trains of thought all at once, all the way to the end, clear as a summer's day, whereas Kenny was struggling to pick up even singular words. To be fair, it was another argument against them actually being soulmates. This wasn't one of the normal things soulmates could do apparently. Still, Craig was a lot better at this than he was.  
  
A new sensation came through in response to that thought.  
 _  
__  
_Kenny almost had this one. Satisfaction, but directed towards himself rather than Kenny. Self satisfaction. Ah.  
  
  
Craig was feeling smug.  
  
  
 _Fucking Asshole, fucking eye roll._ Kenny returned. It was unlikely to make sense at the other end, as it wasn’t exactly coherent, but maybe under that Craig would see what he’d been aiming for. 

Kenny needed to figure out the feeling for "fuck you" or 'flipping the bird'. Probably softened with a _hint_ of amusement. 

Although, was there any point, if it was just the one time?

 _Only for tonight_ He’d thought earlier.

  
_Disappointment, Reluctance, Stubborn, eye roll, challenging, possessive._

  
Kenny didn't know how to respond to that. He didn’t want to give any false hope, but...  
  
He bit into his lip again, hissing as he bit the cut on his lip too hard. He was too agitated and had forgotten he needed to be gentle.   
  


_Concern, worry, curious, questioning  
  
_

Kenny scoffed. The fucker had caused this. And it was a suckerpunch. Next time it’d be different. 

The oddest combination engulfed him just then.  
  


_Pride, fun, sorry not sorry, challenge, amusement, concern fondness, mischief, new feeling, teasing, new feeling, new feeling  
  
  
_

Kenny didn't know what 'New feeling' was. Not quite yet. The general...feel was one of playfulness at first, but the tone changed. It was deeper, darker, like possessiveness, but not exactly the same. Similar ball park though. 

Teasing and mischief in this context weren't as lighthearted as they usually were, they were more…mid range, leading to the dark 'New Feeling'   
  
What was it about their fight that had been 'New Feeling?"

The fight had been pretty intense. Short, but intense, and they'd spoken a little. Well...Craig had insulted him.

If they fought now, would it be the same, or would it be different? Would they be able to even be in proximity to one another? Could they even face each other?

Although..last time they'd met, they hadn’t exactly been ‘facing’ one another. He'd been on the floor. The fucker had cheated and leg swept him. Who does that in an airsoft game?? And where the hell did he learn to do that? He remembered reaching for his pistol, and then...

_New feeling, longing, mischief, playful_

  
And it hit him, the meaning slotting into place. And he felt like an idiot for it taking so long. 

He was honestly disappointed in himself for not getting that sooner. That was something he should’ve figured out a lot sooner considering. And it was dark in the room, so the only colour his face was currently was 'shadowed', and nothing else.   
  


He felt the bubbling sensation of laughter again, and Kenny almost didn’t have a choice but to respond with fondness and closeness, and an attempt at a middle finger. Probably didn’t get it right, but he’d practice.   
  


Kenny glanced at the door. 

He shouldn't. He 100% shouldn't. He 1000% shouldn't.   
  
  


_Curious.  
  
_ _  
_  
Kenny needed to make the decision. And he realised there was an easier way of deciding, that wasn’t so world changing.  
  
Did he wanna see Craig again? If the answer was yes, then this was unlikely to be a one off, and he’d have to gather the guts to have an actual conversation.  
  
He glanced at the door again. 

…  
  
...Not tonight. 

And it wasn’t because he was scared. He was just tired.

Actually, weirdly, he was. He looked to the clock.   
  


4:22  
  


Fuck. It was so late. They’d been talking a lot longer than he’d even realised.   
  


_Amusement. Smugness.  
  
_

"Yeah, yeah. Well done you, you kept me up all night." Kenny complained quietly and good-naturedly to his ceiling.   
  


_Laughter. Suggestive  
  
_

And that combination of sensations was…interesting. And if the asshole didn't stop, he wouldn't get any sleep for an entirely different reason.   
  


_Sorry not sorry.  
_  
  
“Asshole.” Kenny breathed out a quiet laugh, and then a yawn. Fuck, his eyes were heavy.  
  
  
 _Fondness, Closeness, Protectiveness, Affection  
_ _  
__  
_“Mm, all those things back ‘atcha...” Kenny agreed, the combination of those feelings do little to help him stay awake. They weren’t intense, they were soft, gentle, calming, soothing.  
  
  
“Night...Craig.”  
  
  
Kenny was almost unconscious when the reply came, so in his sleep filled state, didn’t catch the first time it happened.  
  
  
 _...Night Kenny.  
  
  
_

* * *


	4. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kyle. You have a soft spot for Cartman don't you? Admit it."
> 
> "Fuck no I don't."
> 
> "Then why would you use the one thing that would have possibly saved him, against me, man?"

* * *

##  **  
CHAPTER FOUR**

##  **Hurt  
  
**

* * *

Chapter Four Song (Kenny’s): Falling in Reverse - Losing My Mind  
Chapter Four Song (Craig’s): Karliene - As The World Falls Down  
  


* * *

  
The world was ending. The four horsemen of the apocalypse had come for him. And they were currently smashing against his head.  
  
"Nghh...."  
  
And apparently Kyle was with him during the days of Ragnarok. They could suffer together at least.   
  
"Fucking door..." was Kyle's contribution to the morning.   
  
Oh, so not the end of the world. Just the fucking door. So, why did it feel like someone was knocking on his head?  
  
Kenny gave what was supposed to be a growl, but lack of true consciousness rendered it into a pathetic sounding whine.   
  
And the door was still being knocked on loudly. Both boys grumbled and groaned at the sound. 

"Ay! Kahl! Kinny! Get the fuck up!" 

Kenny buried his face into the pillow, and chanted his one word mantra that would stop him killing Cartman into it. 

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck." 

The noise was muffled, but not enough to be unable to distinguish the word. Kyle sniggering into his pillow was proof of this fact.  
  
His head.  
Fucking hurt.  
  
And the banging on the door was not helping. Kenny was plotting future revenge [already.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZgZjbcwhiY&ab_channel=Kylee)  
  
Cartman was gonna fucking pay one day. Maybe that day was today.  
  
Yeah...today was feeling like that kinda day. If Ragnarok hadn't actually arrived, well he was about to bring it to Cartman's entire world. 

"Kyle" 

Kyle's name was what he meant to say, but his face was still in the pillow, so it came out more like "Krrrl". Kyle grunted questioningly, so he'd understood at least. 

With a larger than expected effort, Kenny turned his face from the pillow to face Kyle. 

"Gimme reasons why we like him and why I shouldn't kill him. I want five damn reasons. Go."

Kyle snorted at this. 

"Do I look like Stan or Butters? You go right ahead. I'll watch. From here obviously." 

"See, this is why we get along."

"Although…"

"Don't ruin this for me Kyle. That 'although' sounds like the kind of although that's about to save Cartman's life...." 

"...Butters probably won't be happy."

"...I fucking changed my mind, you're an asshole." Kyle _knew_ he had a soft spot for Leo. And had used that to save Cartman. The question was...why?

  
"Kyle. You have a soft spot for Cartman don't you? Admit it."  
  
"Fuck no I don't."  
  
"Then why would you use the one thing that would have possibly saved him, against me, man?"  
  
"Because I have a soft spot for you, and prison sucks."  
  
"...You adorable bastard."  
  
Kyle laughed and raised his head to check the time. 

"Ah fuck!"  
  
And then Kyle started shouting at the door.  
  
"Cartman. It's fucking 6.45!"  
  
"Why is he even up this early?" Kyle then grumbled quietly to Kenny.

"Guys! Fucking wake up. I need to eat before we play."

"Go fucking eat then fuckwad!" Kyle called. 

"Shuddap you asshole jew! There's nowhere around here. I need Kinny to drive us."

Kenny sighed, the sigh turning into a growl halfway through. He cursed as he stretched, his head throbbing. He was so fucking tired. And in pain. And tired. Ugh. Fuck this.   
  
He gave himself ten seconds to bitch and whinge and whine incessantly to himself in his head, and then he pushed himself from the bed groggily, cursing as the sudden movement made his head spin. Ugh, was that nausea?  
  
He sat for a moment in that odd position of ‘halfway through a push up’, waiting for the room to stop turning. Fuck, it was like being hungover. Or still drunk. Or an awful fusion of the two. Wait, that wasn't possible was it? Well if it was, this was exactly how it'd feel.  
  
  
Eventually, with immense willpower leading the march, he made the unsteady journey from bed to not bed. And it fucking sucked, but with patience and inner pep talking, he was stood at the front door, still in his tshirt and boxers, and he yanked the door open, ready to glare up a storm.  
  
Holy fuck! His eyes!   
  
The morning light was very present, very making itself known, and it was not gentle as it skewered his eyes mercilessly. And his headache increase. Fuck, he felt like he was going to throw up. He squinted against the change of light, his glare ineffectual against the powers of light vs his eyes. He wasn’t gonna win this one. He put a hand in front of them, to protect them until he had adjusted. His fingers were splayed so he could peek through with one eye and still see his victim. Eric Cartman.   
  
  
And to add insult to injury, Cartman stood there, with the utter fucking _audacity_ to look pissed off. HE was fucking pissed off? Oh he’d show him _pissed off.  
_ _  
_And then he heard Kyle’s voice in his head from earlier, and he remembered the reason why he couldn’t lay into Cartman.  
  
“Fucking..” Kenny cursed quietly.

"'Bout fucking time Kinny!"  
  
“Cartman...I fucking swear…” Kenny growled. Ugh, that made his head throb. Getting angry wasn’t gonna help things. Peering through the space between his fingers, he reasoned that his singular eye was adjusted, and he probably couldn’t hide behind his hand all day, so removed it and dealt with the pain of his other eye adjusting. Squinting, he looked past Cartman. 

"Where's Stan and Leo?" 

"Still in bed."  
  
  
Outrage.  
  
Hatred.  
  
Envy.   
  
Bastards.   
  


"So why the fuck aren't we?" His voice was low and scratchy from sleep, so it didn't come out half as pissed off as he felt.  
  
“Told ‘em we’d come back for ‘em, with food.”  
  
“Well ain’t that just lovely and dandy for them.” Kenny mocked sarcastically. Okay, things were improving visually...slightly. And he no longer felt like he was going to throw up. Either he was concussed and that first aider had sucked, or his headache was so bad, it was making him nauseous. Or he'd gotten so drunk last night he'd somehow entirely forgotten that he'd been drinking. Unlikely, but he wasn't ruling it out. He'd gotten that blackout drunk before. 

“Well I TRIED to get em up, but Butters was feeling ill, and Stan was up with him last night.”  
  
“Wait, Leo’s ill?” His pissedoffness puttered out into nothing, replaced by concern and wondering why Cartman hadn't fucking started with that.   
  
Cartman shrugged.  
  
“I dunno. Food poisoning or something. I told him not to get fish from a diner, but did he listen? Noo. He was totally fine this morning, just didn’t wanna get his ass outta bed. Kinda like SOMEONE this morning who took his sweet ass time getting to the damn door.”  
  
Oh, the rage was back. Cool. As was the reminder that he couldn't kill Cartman. This fucking sucked.   
  
“Cartman…you’re so fucking lucky Leo likes you....” Kenny mumbled into his hands. He glanced up at Cartman, who didn’t even look apologetic that he’d banged on their door before 7 fucking am.  
  
“Right...no reason we all have to suffer, wait here.”  
And Kenny turned, slamming the door in Cartman’s face, knowing it would outrage him. He was right, and had a moment of sweet retribution as he heard Cartman make an impatient and pissed off sound.  
  
Kyle at this point was sitting up in bed, yawning. Kenny waved him down.  
“Dude, it’s fine. Get some more sleep. I’ll take the fucker for food, and bring something back.”  
  
Kyle gave him a look. It was relief, but hesitance.  
  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah. Stan and Leo are still in bed anyway. I’ll take the fat fuck to get food, and I’ll grab breakfast. Any requests?”  
“Coffee. Not shit motel coffee.”  
  
Kenny chuckled.  
  
“Well that was a given. I meant food-wise. Although, speaking of coffee…” Kenny grimaced, and walked over to the kettle, flipping it on.  
  
“Kenny...don't do it man, motel instant coffee is gross.” Kyle pulled an expression of distaste.  
  
“Yup. It’s fucking foul. But you know what’s fouler? No coffee. And I’m less likely to commit murder if I’ve had some. Plus, I've definitely drunk grosser things, plus plus I should not be driving without any."  
  
“Didn’t sleep?” Kyle’s question tinged with slight concern.  
  
“Uh, yeah, something like that.” Kenny rubbed the back of his head, ruining any attempt he’d made to flatten the nest of bed hair on his head. He yawned.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
“Yeah. There were...developments.” He muttered. Kyle still caught it.  
  
“Oh?”  
  
The kettle boiled, and Kenny ripped open the sachet of instant coffee, pouring the water in the mug to chase the granules.  
  
“Later.” he said offhandedly as he topped up the mug with cold water. Kenny then downed the drink, wiping the back of his mouth once he was done.  
  
“Fuck, that’s gross.” He complained. Kyle nodded in agreement.  
“I did say...”  
“You want some?”  
“Hell no. Not if it’s coming from one of those sachets.”  
  
Kyle wasn’t wrong. It was terrible and cheap.  
It was working though. Kenny felt his headache subside. Slightly.  
“Right, if Cartman gets pissy and busts in, distract him.” And he grabbed some clothes, heading for the bathroom.  
He wouldn’t be able to get away with a shower, so he’d have to grab one when they were back. He leaned against the edge of the sink, arms bracing his weight, as he surveyed himself in the mirror.  
  
  
Well, he didn’t look great.  
  
  
He leaned back so he could remove a bracing arm, so that he could touch the bruise he had on his right cheekbone. Same side he now had a missing tooth. It was a pretty bad bruise, but that was to be expected. As if in response, his tongue jabbed at the empty space where his tooth had been.  
Honestly, he was a little impressed. It was hard to knock out a tooth, it was even harder to have that kind of accuracy to knock a back tooth out over a front one. Although he was pretty sure Craig hadn’t been considering things that far. Still, it wasn’t just brute strength. It was angle, and accuracy.  
  
And he’d been in a lot of fights, and he could honestly say it was the first time he’d lost a tooth.  
He opened his mouth, pulling at the side of his mouth to better survey the damage. He was 100% sure it had snapped it, which meant the roots were still there in the spot. He ran his tongue over the spot. And he couldn’t find any jagged parts that stuck out. Maybe he could avoid the dentist entirely. He didn’t care too much that it was gone, but dentist trips were a pain.  
  
Okay, still an asshole, but points to Craig for the shot. Neat and tidy, couldn’t complain at that.  
  
As he grabbed his toothbrush, he surveyed the rest of his face. He had the tiniest cut near his eyebrow, but he was pretty sure that was where he’d nicked it when he had kissed pavement.  
His forehead. Well, that had a bump on it. An ugly purple bruised bump. Which hurt to touch, poke, prod or generally go anywhere near with fingers.  
  
What kinda fucker headbutted someone in a fist fight?  
  
Craig apparently. And he couldn’t deny it had gotten the job done. He had seen stars after that.  
  
His lip looked terrible, but that was his fault for chewing on it.  
  
Noticing he was doing the same to his toothbrush absentmindedly as he recalled the moment, he stopped, and continued using it for its intended purpose.  
  
All things considered, not too bad. Oh, but he still looked like utter crap overall. His under eyes were tinged purple from a sleepless night, his hair was matted and sticking up in every direction. Panda eyes would have to remain. His hair though, that he could fix somewhat. Spitting and rinsing out his mouth, he then ran the faucet, grabbed some of the water in his hands, and ran it through his hair, willing it to stay down. And thankfully, that seemed to do the trick. His hair was damp, but sat in place, and he ran hands through it a couple of times to remove remaining water residue.  
  
Yeah. That’d do. Wouldn't win any beauty contests, but for a food run it was fine.   
  
Five minutes later, he was dressed, new hoodie on, and walking to the door where he could hear Cartman outside complaining. He gave a two fingered salute to Kyle.  
  
“See you in a bit.”  
  
“I text you my order so you wouldn’t have to remember.”  
  
Kenny looked around the room at that statement. He spied his phone, and leaned over his bed to grab it.  
  
“Got it. Right, see you in a bit.”  
  
He locked the door behind him. Kyle had a key.  
  
Cartman looked at him with a glare  
  
“‘Bout fucking time. Did ya grow a fucking vagina in there and decide you needed to doll up or something? You took forever! And you still look like shit anyway.”  
  
“Shut the fuck up Cartman.” Kenny said mildly, his eyes having caught the black SUV that still sat there. He glanced to the door next to theirs, which was silent. Probably still asleep. Lucky bastard.  
  
He still felt..whole. But it was like Craig wasn’t there. There were no prodding or poking feelings. Just a vague sense of...being there. Which made sense, seeing as he was one of the lucky few that apparently got to get some sleep this morning.  
  
As he unlocked the truck, he glanced back over with trepidation. The link would snap again when he pulled away. How far would he get before that happened? What was it called again, threadsnap?  
  
As he pulled into reverse, he felt the slight fading feeling, and eventually, felt it snap. And held back a gasp once again. It was so sudden.  
  
And emptiness returned.  
  
Kenny ignored Cartman’s rant, feeling frustration building up inside him.  
  
How the fuck was this supposed to be livable-with? Okay, he didn’t know much about soulmates and such, but this was ridiculous. He was pretty sure that partners separated all the time and it didn’t didn’t look as if it was paining them to be away from each other. So, was it just the transitional period like Kyle said earlier? How long was that supposed to fucking last? Despite what Kyle said, he couldn't just glue himself to Craig's side until they passed through it.   
Eventually, they would separate. They were from different locations. Surely they weren’t supposed to just ‘learn to deal’.   
  
“-fucking gonna order everything when we get there. I swear they won’t know what hit them.”  
  
Kenny zoned back into Cartman’s chatter, eying him up. He could...ask. He was pretty sure Cartman had been to classes. He’d probably know. Maybe.  
  
But fuck, was it worth it? He could probably wait until he got back, and he could ask Kyle to clarify further.  
  
But, Cartman was here right now. And Kenny wasn’t a patient person. He wanted to know.  
  
“Cartman.”  
  
“-wanted to bring back the special, but I wanna be on my A game today so--what?” It was the first time Kenny had spoken.  
  
Kenny hesitated, trying to figure out how to phrase it.  
  
“Kinny, fucking what?”  
  
“So, random question.”  
  
“...Okay?”  
  
“You ever think about meeting your soulmate?”  
  
Kenny had to ease into this, otherwise Cartman would figure it out, he wasn’t dumb.  
  
Cartman raised an eyebrow.  
  
“I thought you didn’t care about this stuff.”  
  
Kenny shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
“I don’t. I think it’s stupid. But I’ve gotta admit, I’m a little curious. Especially as you’ve got two. Double trouble.”  
  
Flattering Cartman would help.  
  
Predictably, Cartman preened at that.  
  
“Yes well, it’s obvious that I’d end up with more soulmates than everyone else.”  
  
Kenny was finally starting to grasp how to shape an internal eye roll. He’d have to try it out next time he spoke with Craig.  
  
“And you ever wonder about meeting them?”  
  
“Psh, course. Everyone does. ‘Cept you of course. Everyone wants to meet their soulmates. Always sounded pretty fucking awesome from what we were told. Like, they _get_ you. Like no one else does. And you wanna be around each other.”  
  
 _Bingo_  
  
Sometimes you just had to show a horse water and it’d walk there itself. Especially when you pointed out that it could see its reflection in the water if it went.  
  
“Around each other? Like all the time? That sounds like a pain.”  
  
“Well it’s not all the damn time. There’s supposed to be some transitional period or some bullcrap like that.” Perfect, just as Kyle had said. He needed to know more about this.  
  
“Where you have to stay glued to them?” Kenny made sure to make his tone sound mocking.  
  
“Kinny, you don’t get it, because you don’t have a Soulmark, and you never went to classes. It feels amazing to be around them apparently. You don't _want_ to leave them, and people don't. They make it work until over time, you learn to separate more and more. There’s like, this bond thingy, and it stretches with practice and time. As you get used to each other. But that takes time, at the beginning, you’re supposed to stay close, during the ‘transitional period’ or something like that.”  
  
 _Ah fuck._ So it was just as Kyle had said. He couldn't avoid that damn 'transitional period', and he couldn't speed it up. _  
_  
“You’d know this shit if you bothered ever turning up.”  
  
“Yeah well that doesn't even make sense. Say you’re about to go to college, and just before you go, you meet your Soulmate, or one of them or whatever, and suddenly you have to stick close, but they go to a completely different college. What the fuck you supposed to do then?”  
  
“Why do you even care so much? Not like it’s something you’ll ever have to worry about.”  
  
Kenny clenched the steering wheel tightly. It was stupid and dumb and he hated that he wanted to be back at the motel and in range and fuck all of this shit.  
  
“I don’t care. Not really.” He muttered, as he turned into the carpark of the diner they’d frequented yesterday, and parked. He leaned back in the seat, looking at Cartman  
  
“Right, your chauffeur is gonna stay right here, and you’re gonna grab food for people.”  
  
Cartman eyed the long queue, scowling at this, but didn’t argue. Kenny had driven him here at the asscrack of dawn after all.  
  
“Fine. What do you and the Jew want?”  
  
Kenny found himself without appetite, even though he’d been starving before leaving the motel. Same as the diner last night. He’d picked at his food.  
  
He needed to eat.  
  
“Kyle wants the breakfast special and a large coffee. Get me whatever, I don’t care, and a coffee.”  
  
Cartman nodded.  
  
“Best pay me back for this.”  
  
“Yeah yeah. Fucking go.” Kenny sniped back, relieved when the truck door slammed and he was alone. Probably for a while if the queue was anything to go on. At least he didn’t have to stand in it.  
  
And he was agitated. On edge. He wanted to blame the singular cup of coffee he’d consumed, but it wasn’t that. And he was too tired to even be any good at denial this time of morning.  
  
He wanted to be close to Craig again. Or rather, his dumb link with him wanted to be. The closer the better.  
  
“Hurry the fuck up Cartman…”  
  
He growled at the steering wheel, as if it was to blame for all of his life problems. Which was unfair, but fuck, none of this bullshit was fair. In fact, the fairest thing was the fact he was sharing it around. With the steering wheel.  
  
He dropped his forehead on the steering wheel, avoiding hitting the horn, even though the catharsis of hearing that would have been amazing.  
Yeah, he wanted to scream like a car horn, for fucking hours. That was exactly how he felt. He’d probably look insane, screaming in his car alone. But fuck it, he was alone, no one was around. So he went for it, forehead on steering wheel, he screamed.  
  
He screamed out his rage and frustration and general hatred of the day and everything that had led up to today. At how a fucking simple trip had turned into something so complicated. He absolutely looked crazy to anyone that might happen upon him and be watching right now. But he didn’t care. Let the soccer moms stare in shock and affront at the crazy teen screaming in his car, the sound silenced only by the fact he was in a truck. 

If this is what losing your mind felt like, it felt pretty good. The noise finally subsided, leaving his throat ragged and sore, and his headache back with a vengeance, but...he felt a lot lighter now he’d gotten that off his chest. 

In fact, he felt a _lot_ better. Turns out screaming did wonders.  
  
Or it was the Black SUV parking up in front of him, along with the probing feelings of concern. 

Ah. 

Okay, so not the screaming then.  
  
Perfect timing as well. Now Craig knew he was crazy. Cool.  
  
Kenny lifted his head and began laughing hysterically. Because he just hadn’t looked crazy enough before.  
  
And clearly Craig knew it wasn’t a fun kind of laughter, because the concern grew, even as tears pricked at the corner of Kenny’s eyes.  
He should stop laughing. And crying. Or maybe he should start screaming again. Make it a crazy sundae hat trick.  
  
  


* * *

Kenny, after a few minutes, calmed himself down, and was a little relieved that the members in the black SUV hadn’t seen his meltdown.  
  
Craig totally knew about it, but it wasn’t like he could hide shit from him when he was around. And he would've found out that Kenny was a crazy bastard eventually, so why not now?  
  
He wiped tears from his eyes dismissively with the heel of his hand as he watched the members get out of the car. Minus a tall, dark haired culprit, who still sat in the car. Letterman was there, as was twitchy blond. No sign of the other two. Letterman leaned towards the car window for a moment, and Kenny saw Craig’s arm wave him away, before Letterman nodded with a smile, gesturing to twitchy blond with his head towards the diner.  
  
Kenny watched as they disappeared into the building.  
  
  
 _Invitation. Talk.  
  
_

Kenny blinked, and watched as Craig’s arm appeared out of the window. Two fingers, gesturing towards his direction.  
  
Fuck.  
  
  
Kenny felt a stab of fear.  
  
  
 _Reassure. Invitation._ _  
__  
  
_Mouth dry, Kenny reached out a shaky arm to his truck door. Yeah, this made sense, but fuck, he hadn’t expected it so soon.  
  
He got out, walking as steadily as he could to the SUV. He tried to pull his expression into one that was casual. And he took it slow. Turns out Cartman/Kyle were right, being closer helped a lot. And now that he wasn’t freaking out, it was surprisingly easy to close the distance. Ugh, he still looked like shit. Not exactly what you wanna greet your soulmate with. Too late now.  
  
But, what he lost in being well put together, he could make up for with sparkling wit and cheek. He decided to be audacious and lean against the SUV, next to the open window. He angled his head towards the open car window, but didn’t look directly over, playing at casual.  
  
  
“Hey stranger, up for a fun time? Half price for you.” He spoke in a tone between teasing and seductive.  
  
  
What could he say, being an asshole made him feel confident. It was his armour against things, and worked especially well with this shit.  
  
  
 _Amusement.  
_ _  
__  
_Not giving Craig a chance to reply, Kenny barrelled on.  
  
“So. How’s things this morning sweetheart? Sleep well?” Kenny went with a joking tone. He glanced further sideways, but couldn’t see Craig from this angle. He heard Craig scoff.  
  
His legs also apparently heard Craig scoff.   
  
No legs. He was the boss here. He would remain standing thank you. Legs were for standing, not for turning to jelly.  
  
“...You okay?” Craig asked.  
  
  
 _Concern._ _  
__  
  
_Kenny gave a laugh. And then his smile faded. Yeah, he couldn't keep this up, not when his words didn't match his feelings. Craig would know anyway.  
  
“Not really, man.”  
  
  
Craig hummed a reply. There was silence for a moment, then-  
  
  
“You gonna freak out if I get out of the car?” The flat, quiet tone asked.  
  
  
  
 _Tentative. Permission  
  
_ _  
__  
_Kenny couldn’t help but feel amused. Craig sounded so aloof and standoffish when he spoke, but then Kenny felt what he was saying, and the contrast was adorable.  
  
“I’m sure I can control myself, just for you.” Kenny had two main modes of talking to people. Antagonistic asshole, and flirtatious asshole. 

He should work on his social skills.  
  
He slid along the SUV slightly so that the driver was able to get out of his car.  
  
Unfortunately, he could show as much bravado as he wanted. Craig knew he was feeling trepidation, which kind of ruined the effect of casual nonchalance. Craig knew he was worried, and was trying to soothe, even as he stepped out of the car with a disinterested glance. He closed the door, and then leaned against it. Next to Kenny, mirroring his pose. And Kenny waited.  
  
And nothing happened.   
  
  
“Huh…” Kenny spoke before he realised that he’d said out loud. Craig glanced at him.  
  
  
 _Curious._   
  
  
You wouldn’t be able to tell. Craig looked as if he didn’t give a shit whatsoever. But Kenny knew better.  
  
“Guess I was worried. After yesterday, not being able to move and all that. Thought it would happen again. But this...is okay?” Kenny looked up at the sky thoughtfully.  
  
“...You didn’t learn about any of this, did you?”  
  
Kenny glanced at Craig. Fuck, he was obvious wasn’t he?  
  
  
 _Agreement. Amusement.  
  
_ _  
_And Kenny saw it, the slightest smirk as he glanced sideways to meet Kenny’s gaze. Because he needed to be distracted by Craig right now didn't he? He looked like shit, and Craig stood there looking amazing, as if he'd had the best night's sleep, even though they'd had the same amount. He looked just as...uh...Craig-like as he had done yesterday.  
  
Maybe he too had terrible hair, hidden under his cap.  
  
Poor Craig. Kenny was given Craig, Craig only got Kenny.   
  
And Kenny thought he himself was pretty awesome. Just not....great soulmate material.   
  
  
_Disagreement. Fondness. Endearing. Like.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_And feeling those feelings, on top of seeing the casual and slight expression that mirrored them, well, Kenny felt a flurry of emotions then and there. Including embarrassment that they were obvious. And it was hella embarrassing, because he couldn’t hide them. Thankfully, Craig didn’t call attention to it, simply looking away, his smirk slightly more pronounced.  
  
  
 _Smug.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Asshole_ Kenny helpfully supplied in retaliation, his heart rate skyrocketing when Craig scoffed, almost smiling.  
  
  
Fuck. This was so much more fun when watching the emotions physically on the person.  
  
  
 _Agreement.  
_ _  
_ _  
_Kenny flushed, looking away. Yeah, it was a two way street wasn’t it? So, neutral thoughts it was.  
  
“What was that earlier?” Craig asked in a measured tone.  
  
“What?”  
  
  
  
 _Fear. Anger. Hysteria. Unhappy Laughter. Sadness  
_ _  
_ _  
_Oh right. That. That little thing.  
  
“Ah. Sorry about that. Been a tough morning.”  
  
  
  
 _Why. Explain. Confide.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_Kenny furrowed his brow slightly. Those were...feelings, but they were taking on..more coherent words now.  
  
“You...were right. I’ve never learned about any of...this. Like ever. Bit of a system shock, you know?” He gestured with his hands.  
  
  
 _Why. Curious.  
_ _  
_ _  
_Kenny sighed lightly, holding up his left arm slightly.  
  
“This wasn’t supposed to be a mark. It was just a dumb tattoo right? I put it over my mark, or apparently the mark that was there. Couldn’t see that shit with a microscope though. So, I reasoned that I don’t-uh.. _didn’t_ have one. It doesn’t show up. So, I figured, no point learning about something I didn’t have, or worrying about not having something or someone out there.”  
  
“...Idiot.”  
  
  
 _Fondness. Closeness. Unity. Mine. Yours.  
_ _  
_ _  
_“Yeah, I’m an idiot. Fucking eye roll is all I have to say to that.”  
  
Craig let out a startled laugh. It was quiet, but seeing it and feeling it at the same time made him feel…  
  
Ah shit. And now he was broadcasting his heart boner to Craig. Great. And Craig was laughing at him again.  
  
“There’s nothing funny about it. We both know I'm shit at this.” Kenny said with a mock sullenness.  
  
“You don’t hear what I hear you...broadcast, when we have our...heart to hearts.”  
  
Ah fuck wait. He’d used those words on purpose! The bastard.  
  
“For fuck’s sake. I sound like an idiot, and you can hear ALL of it, can’t you? Not just some of it.” Kenny put his head in his hands.  
  
  
 _Adorable. Fondness_   
  
  
“And that isn’t helping.” He muttered through his hands.  
  
  
 _Sorry not sorry. Reassure.  
_ _  
_ _  
_“So, yeah, I don’t understand any of this shit, and when I left to chauffeur my friend to this fucking diner, I didn’t expect...”  
  
  
 _Loss. Distance. Empty.  
_  
  
“Yeah. That.”  
  
A shrug. Kenny felt it physically, and became aware that Craig was actually pretty damn close.  
  
  
“I can teach you. It’s not rocket science.” Was the flippant tone.  
  
  
 _Support. Guide. Help._ _  
_ _  
_Kenny felt a prickle of stubbornness and pride rear its head. Was there even any point to learning this? He still wasn’t sure what he was going to do. If he wanted this...soulmate stuff. If it even was soulmate stuff.  
  
  
“...Learn it. Then you can do what the fuck you want afterwards.”  
  
Kenny glanced at Craig, but his expression was blank and disinterested.   
  
Kenny poked and prodded with curiosity feelings, but Craig was eluding his questions. Fuck, Craig was a LOT better at this than he himself was. He could hide stuff away. He had a _feeling_ though, that there was _something_ under Craig’s indifference and elusiveness.  
  
“Leave it.”  
  
Kenny didn’t want to leave it. Craig was hiding something, and he wanted to know what it was. And at Craig’s words, he saw it skirt by quickly, before hiding away once again. It was frustrating.  
  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
  
“Yeah it fucking does.” Kenny retaliated.  
  
  
  
 _Irritation, Defensiveness, Guilt, Secretive, Self-protective.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_What was it? He didn’t know, but it was enough to worry him, he didn’t feel right, wanted to help.  
  
Craig had physically moved before Kenny even had time to react, jumping as Craig stood in front of him, and slammed both of his palms against the SUV, locking Kenny in between his arms. His eyes locked onto Kenny’s with a glare.  
  
“Leave. It.” He said in a low, intense tone, his eyes burning into Kenny’s.   
  
But it didn’t matter anymore, because Kenny had realised what it was the moment he’d looked into Craig’s eyes. There was a slight moment where it had flickered in his expression, and Kenny had snapped out and caught the feeling as it attempted to skirt by him. And he held fast.  
  
And Kenny’s eyes widened.  
  
  
  
 _Hurt. Hurt Hurt Hurt. Hurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurt.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_He...was hurting Craig. Really hurting him. And not just now. Because catching this feeling made him recognise it from before, not realising that’s what it had been. From the very beginning. Ever since they’d realised they were connected.  
  
And he knew why. The way Kenny had responded initially. It...wasn’t the way people usually reacted, and it had hurt Craig. And every time Kenny talked about not wanting any part of...this, he had been hurting Craig.  
  
Kenny had spent years, vowing he wouldn’t get into a proper relationship with anyone, because it robbed someone of their soulmate. Because despite his cynicism, it was something he coveted. More than anything.  
  
And maybe it hadn’t been cynicism, but jealousy. He’d wanted to be someone’s as well, so, so badly.  
  
And now he was, and he’d told himself it was too late, had convinced himself that he didn’t want, or need any of this. And he’d broadcast those feelings, all the rejection and dismissal and defensiveness and venom and refusal, onto the ONE person he probably should care about more than anyone else.  
  
He was doing the one thing that he told himself he’d never do to another person. Deny them of a soulmate. Denying their soulmate of them. Separate them.  
  
  
He was fucking doing that to Craig.  
  
  
And despite that, despite Kenny being an unfeeling, uncaring, self absorbed asshole of a person, Craig had tried to keep the hurt hidden from him, under that calm surface, not letting it break past the surface tension of his thoughts. He’d respected Kenny’s selfish wishes, putting Kenny’s thoughts ahead of his own. From the very beginning.  
  
And it had ALWAYS been there. Hidden behind other, more prominent feelings, but flitting and hiding behind it all.  
  
And he hadn’t noticed until now. His despicable self had been so busy feeling sorry for himself, he’d forgotten that this probably wasn’t what Craig had ever expected from this either. None of this was normal. None of it made sense. But Craig was _trying_ to figure it out, and Kenny? Well he was just running away, but apparently whilst causing as much damage as possible.  
  
“Fuck…” Kenny said.  
  
“It doesn’t matter.” Craig muttered, looking away.  
  
  
 _Hurt. Embarrassment. Lack of self control. Apology.  
_ _  
_ _  
_And even now, Craig was apologising to HIM?  
  
Kenny wanted to...needed to comfort him. He reached for Craig’s sleeve, gripping it tightly. He needed to make this right.   
  
  
  
“It’s fi-”  
  
“I’m so-”  
  
  
  
“What the fuck is that blond asshole doing here?”  
  
They both looked in the direction of the new voice. Letterman stood there, holding drinks in a cup holder, looking suspiciously at Kenny. Tweek stood behind him, holding bags of food, twitching, and looking between them with a measured expression.  
  
“Kinny! What the fuck man. Fight those assholes later, we’ve got food to eat.”  
  
  
And of course, Cartman arrived on the scene as well, looking to Letterman with suspicion.  
  
“If you guys wanna fuck with us, fucking wait until later, and we’ll kick your ass there. Tell your friend to back the fuck away from him.”  
  
It was the most awful timing. Both because he still had things to make up to Craig, but also because of the way this all looked. It did look as if they were about to start round 2.  
  
Cartman couldn’t be fucking further from the truth.  
  
Craig should be pissed off at him. Fuck, he’d hate himself if he was being like this. He didn’t envy Craig. Imagine having Kenny as a soulmate. Fucking shitty luck. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to make it up to Craig the fact that he was stuck with _Kenny_ of all people.  
  
It was tiny, but Kenny felt amusement emanating from Craig. And fuck it was relieving. Craig didn’t hate him. He deserved it, but apparently he wasn't being given the cold shoulder he deserved.   
  
And that mattered a lot to him.  
  
Okay, so, he didn't have much time. But somehow, he needed to...well, not leave this as it was.   
_  
  
I'm sorry. I'm still learning this...stuff. And I don't think about what I'm saying-uh, feeling? I don't even know if I'm saying this right, but..fuck, I'm still getting my head around this, and uh, so I'm trying to come to terms with soulmate vs 'strong independent person that don't need no man'. I'm kinda...making this up as I go. Like the song? Maaaake it up as I go, whooaaah. Ah fuck, I shouldn't be singing, sorry. Also, this is probably too long to be standing here silently, so yeah, peace out? And sorry again. Ugh, I'm bad at this._  
  
Craig glanced down at his sleeve, the one that Kenny still held fast to.  
  
His expression was disinterested tinged with slight irritation. But Craig didn’t feel the way he looked.  
  
  
 _Stubborn. Idiot. Cute. Adorable. Fond. Possessive. Mine. Yours. Challenge.  
_  
  
Kenny released his sleeve, giving a cocky and antagonistic smile. Like they hated each other.  
  
Kenny tried to return feelings in an uncomplicated, and honest manner. Fondness, apology, self idiot, self moron, self stupid bastard, undeserving...Affection, Closeness, Longing closeness  
  
Uh...those last couple had run away from him there. He needed to wind it back in a little, he was getting kinda sappy. Plus, they had an audience. He blamed Craig. He still had that slight glaring look in his eyes.   
  
_Mischief_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don’t you dare…_ _  
_ _  
_Craig leaned in, until their faces were almost touching. Almost.  
  
“Looks like I’ll have to finish the job later.” The tone was cold and challenging, and Kenny saw Cartman bristle in the background.  
  
Cartman didn’t however, feel what he felt from Craig.  
  
 _Teasing, Mischief. Desire, Longing, Desire._  
  
Kenny was pretty sure that if someone could die from the rush of chemicals, of dopamine, he'dve dropped dead. Fuck.  
  
Fuck Fuck Fuck  
  
He almost didn’t care at the fact they had an audience. He just wanted Craig to...  
  
 _  
To what?_ Was the sensation sent. _  
  
  
__You know what!_ He thought back furiously.   
  
  
_Ask.  
  
  
  
_ Kenny was getting better at this, was getting more of what Craig was actually saying, but it was still fragmented. There was enough to get the gist, the meaning. And the idea of..asking him to...  
  
  
Kenny flushed. Which was exactly why he’d done it.  
  
The bastard.  
  
 _I am counting this as stage one of vengeance against me for being an idiot._  
  
And he was _enjoying_ the reaction. Of putting Kenny into this cleverly hidden situation. To the world, they looked about ready to start throwing fists.  
  
Kenny, out of habit, started to bite at at his own lip.  
  
 _Don’t bite._ _  
_ _  
_The mix of feeling sensations and actual words from Craig were fascinating. Kenny was learning somehow.  
  
Did he dare? He felt the stirrings of his own mischief. He wanted to push Craig a little.  
  
Luckily (or unluckily) for both of them, Cartman was done. He stepped forward towards Kenny, grabbing at his hoodie sleeve.  
  
  
“C’mooooon Kinny.”  
  
  
 _Possessive, Possessive. Mine.  
  
_ _  
_Shit, that wasn’t good. Kenny glanced to Tweek for help. He didn’t know why, or if he was right, but Tweek had done this before. And thankfully, Tweek was there, pulling Craig away, giving Kenny a scrutinising look.  
  
Kenny didn’t have time to deal with the scenario, as Cartman was pulling him towards the truck. And despite everything, Kenny looked back.  
  
Craig was faced away, but Tweek was looking.  
  
And Tweek gave him a smile. The kind of smile that was friendly, and genuine, but also ‘I know what’s going on’.  
  
  
  
  
Fuck  
  
  


* * *


	5. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kinny. Am I supposed to know what the hell that means?”
> 
> “It means that it’d crush us like a tin can. And the owner knows that, which is probably why he feels fine driving so fucking close.”

* * *

##  **CHAPTER FIVE**

##  **Coffee**

* * *

  
  
Chapter Five Song (Kenny’s): Jonathan Young - Happy  
Chapter Five Song (Craig’s): Boyce Avenue - Glad You Came  
Chapter Five Bonus Song (Both): Peter Hollens, Sam Tsui - Dark Horse

  
  


* * *

_  
__  
__  
_  
So, that twitchy blond called Tweek knew.  
Well, he wasn’t certain, but that had been a very telling smile.  
  
Well, he supposed that was fair if it was true. Kyle knew right? It wasn’t as if it mattered if one of Craig’s friends knew, right?  
  
And bonus, it wasn’t Letterman.  
  
  
 _Confirm.  
  
  
_

Still feeling Craig and receiving confirmation and reply of his thoughts, Kenny found the dynamic of how this worked confusing and puzzling. Kenny liked to imagine how Craig might have said that, were Kenny better at all this. It was probably something simple like _“Yeah, I told him.”._ Kenny was looking forward to the moment he’d get the message as clearly as that. For now, he'd have to rely on some heavy assumption.  
  
Sometimes, the feeling thoughts _were_ just feelings. But other times, it sounded as if they were having a conversation, but only Craig could hear properly on his end. There was a...difference of sorts in the types of sensation. Like when Craig had been hurt. He wasn’t, by any means, trying to tell Kenny this in conversation, that had been a feeling. A well hidden one, but it wasn’t like ‘Confide. Confirm’. These felt like he was being told something, that it was a conscious effort to try and communicate something to him. Plus, Kenny honestly doubted that Craig went around thinking “Fond, Amused, Smug” as a way of communication. Those were how he felt, but weren’t consciously shared.  
  
Or were they? Craig had been able to hide feelings as well. Did that mean they could hide things, or stop things getting through? Would that become the norm as time went on, or would their link deepen to the point where they’d hear and feel everything.  
  
That was kinda intrusive.  
  
  
 _Learn a lot. Idiot. Endearing  
_  
  
Kenny resisted smiling. It wasn’t a perfect system, but he definitely got the gist of what was being said, plus, his intuition was pretty good at filling in the blanks. He’d hazard a guess that it was something like _“You have a lot to learn about this, idiot, but I find it adorable and me love you long time.”  
_ _  
_  
_Amusement. Tiny Agreement.  
_ _  
__  
_The variances were becoming clearer now as well. Before, it was agreement or disagreement. Now he could see a weight to them, a measurement of that feeling. And his own brain had helpfully begun assigning sizes automatically. Tiny agreement. Almost as if Craig did agree, but only in confirming Kenny had gotten the gist. The nuances were challenging, but intriguing, like a puzzle. It was fun deciphering them.  
  
  
 _Large Agreement  
_ _  
__  
_It was a shame they translated so clunkily, but Kenny supposed he had his brain to thank for that. It was being methodical and logical, and he supposed it was trying to do its best translating something spiritual into something coherent. Definitely parts lost in translation though. Craig was a lot better at this than he was.

_  
__Practice. Intuition trust, Quiet brain.  
  
_

Kenny frowned, so his brain was getting in the way?  
  
“Kinny! Stop staring into space and unlock the truck!”

The bubble of calm, connection and control was popped as Kenny was dragged back into the real world once again, to the pissed off face of Cartman looking around the truck at him in annoyance. Kenny fished his keys out of his pocket, unlocked the truck, and ignored the grumbling brunette that clambered into the passenger seat. Kenny glanced over at where they’d come from.  
  
And saw Letterman staring at him. Kenny gave a quick wave and friendly smile, turning it into a middle finger and a sardonic smirk.  
  
  
 _Antagonistic._ _  
_ _  
  
_Kenny stopped. Was Craig pissed he’d done that? Did Craig feel antagonistic?  
  
..No..hang on...  
  
...wait, that wasn’t a feeling...that was conversation. Craig had an air of exasperation mixed with feeling entertained. He wanted to clarify. Okay, concentrate.  
  
  
 _“Me?”_   
  
  
_Clarification. Misunderstood.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _“_ AKA, what the fuck are you saying Kenny?” Kenny muttered under his breath, before sighing. He should’ve known it wouldn’t be as easy as that. His dumb brain was screwing him over somehow.  
  
  
  
 _Practice. Teach. Support.  
_ _  
_ _  
_“Aww, thanks hot stuff. X’s and O’s baby.” Kenny murmured, feeling the oddest moment of victory as he felt the bubbling sensation of laughter. Poor Craig, sitting in the car with people, and bursting into laughter. Probably not a cool look. At least he wasn’t the only crazy looking one today.  
  
Kenny grinned in the direction of the SUV, before finally opening the driver door. Luckily, Cartman had missed his moments of ‘talking to thin air’ in favour of rifling through the bags for his food. _  
_  
  
“You want food now or when we get back?”  
  
“Wait til we get back.” Kenny waved off the offer as he started the truck, putting it into reverse, bracing himself for threadsnap, the moment when he and Craig would be out of range.  
  
It wasn’t for that long. They’d be heading back to the motel, or they’d be heading to the airsoft site. Either way, he’d be in range again soon.  
  
“Uuugh, fucking-we’ve got those assholes on our tail. Like, right up our ass.” Cartman had stopped his task of rooting through the bags in favour of twisting in his seat to give the car behind them the middle finger.  
Kenny looked into the rearview mirror as Cartman turned back around in his seat. True to Cartman’s word, the SUV was following them. Kenny felt an overflowing feeling of gratitude for this beautiful man that was tailing them.  
  
Although Cartman was right, Craig was driving right up their ass. Asshole.  
  
Asshole was oddly becoming less of an insult, and more of an endearment. Shit, he’d have to expand his vocabulary. He wasn’t gonna wanna call other people assholes if it was becoming something of a nickname. Luckily, he had a great imagination. Plus he had Cartman, who was a great guinea pig for these sorts of things.  
  
“Oh yeah. Huh.” He commented, hoping to sound flippant as he turned his attention back to the road in front.  
  
“Well gee Kinny, so glad you’re keeping an eye on both directions of the road. Not like you’re the driver or anything.”  
  
“What do you want me to do about it? Break suddenly? Because I am not fucking up my truck so you can make a point.”  
  
  
“We have a fucking pickup truck, it’d be fine. Plus they’d totally deserve it.” Cartman whined. Kenny scoffed.  
  
“That’s a fucking Subaru Outback 3.6R they’re driving, Cartman.”  
  
“Kinny. Am I supposed to know what the hell that means?” Kenny smirked, checking the rearview mirror.  
  
“It means that it’d crush us like a tin can. And the owner knows that, which is probably why he feels fine driving so fucking close.”  
  
 _That and he’s being a cocky asshole._  
  
If Kenny thought that sentence with an element of fondness, he didn’t acknowledge it.  
  
“Dude. I still think we’d do some damage.”  
  
Kenny rolled his eyes. Well, if Cartman didn’t believe him, he’d believe the internet.  
  
“You got your phone?”  
  
“Uh, yeah.”  
  
“Watch a Subaru Outback crash test video. Then watch a Toyota Tundra crash test video. Go on, I’ll wait.”  
  
And for a few minutes, there was blessed silence, punctuated only by the sounds of the videos that Cartman had decided to watch.  
  
Kenny drummed idly on the steering wheel as he waited for the lights to change, occasionally peeking into his rearview mirror. For safe driving reasons. And no other reason.  
  
“Ah! Weak!”  
  
Kenny made a questioning noise as the lights changed.  
  
“Kinny, why the fuck did you buy such a lame ass truck? We would totally die if we crashed.”  
  
“I did say.”  
  
“Why the hell did you buy this piece of crap??”  
  
“I like the way it feels. Tight drive. Great in snow. You know, that white stuff that we’re surrounded by where we live a lot of the year?”  
  
“But Kiiiiinny. We can’t destroy their car with this.”  
  
“Then we’ll destroy 'em at airsoft today instead. Less of an insurance clusterfuck that way as well.”  
  
“Yeah well. Your truck is still shit.” Kenny couldn’t help but feel defensive. Yeah, it wasn’t a fancy truck, but it was his baby.  
  
  
  
“Get out and walk then.” Kenny bit out. Cartman sensed Kenny’s irritation, and like a shark attracted to blood, he pounced.  
  
“Feeling touchy are we? I imagine owning a shit show as a car will do that to you. I wonder how many other people woke up and said to themselves ‘Hmm, you know what I need in my life? An old, unreliable, literal tincan of a truck. Hell yes I wanna pay for one of those!”  
  
“You can tell you don’t know shit about cars.”  
  
“I’d say the same for anyone that bought themselves one of these.”  
  
Kenny may be an antagonistic bastard, but Cartman. Cartman was the King of windup merchants. If you liked something, and he knew that? He’d find a way to ruin it for you. And if you tried to defend it? Well, that’s just what Cartman loved best. It became a sport then.  
  
Best thing to do was not to go down that rabbithole.  
  
Instead of arguing, Kenny gave him the middle finger up close and personal, turning the gesture into an outstretched hand.  
  
“Tell you what, give me my fucking coffee and I won’t break your face.”  
  
“Jesus Christ, you’re in a pissy mood today. Getting all sensitive over a fucking truck, man.”  
  
“I was in a great mood before I was woken up by an asswipe for a food run, which I did out of the kindness of my bleeding heart, only to have said asswipe bitch about the mode of transportation on the way back, all so he can prove he’s got a dick to the people behind us.”  
  
“You’re being such a whiny ass bitch this morning.”  
  
Kenny had learned from Stan, the best at dealing with Cartman.  
Don’t give Cartman fuel, give him ultimatums. Something Kyle had yet to learn, and why Kyle was still Cartman’s favourite pastime.  
  
“Your choice. You’ve got five seconds to give me my coffee, or I’m leaving you here. And I’m not so much gonna slow and let you out as I am gonna boot you out the window. Up to you.”  
  
Cartman continued to make vocal complaints, clearly too used to Kenny’s violent threats to take them seriously, but without any hope of riling the blond up, he eventually handed over the beverage, with a muttered ”Fucking hate you Kinny.”  
One hand on the wheel, Kenny took a sip. And exhaled. And everything was fine with the world once more.  
  
“Feel better, bitchzilla?” Cartman sniped.  
  
“Fuck yeah. Thanks.” And extending the olive branch to Cartman never hurt.  
  
Cartman grunted.  
  
Their relationship was one where they were friends, and had been for years, and would probably continue to be, but the dynamic between them relied on antagonism, whether between each other, or against others.  
  
Like with the rest of their group though, they had each other’s back when it counted. Just as Cartman would call Kyle a ‘filthy, sneaky Jew’ and would drive him red with rage, he had been the one there for Kyle when he’d been surrounded by the basketball team after Kyle's first game, with the plan to haze him. Cartman hadn’t had any of that. None of them had.  
Cartman had gotten there first though. And he’d had the brains to text Stan and Kenny before jumping in. After that, it was pretty easy, and they’d walked away victorious.  
  
You didn’t fuck with their group. Only they could fuck with each other.  
  
Kenny took another, longer sip, the heat and the strength as close to perfection as could be gained from a cup of coffee. Flavour-wise...meh. It wasn’t shitty instant coffee.  
  
After that monstrosity that tried to call itself coffee from earlier, and not ending Cartman, and not punching Letterman, AND not even getting a satisfying ending to his face to face interaction with Craig, he damn well deserved this.  
  
Fuck. This was Craig’s fault. And Kenny didn’t probe, or try to converse with him, as it took juuuust enough of his concentration to drive, to not be able to afford to be distracted or surprised.  
  
Plus, he couldn’t lie, a large, more than what was probably healthy dose of his attention was on the liquid drug in his hand.  
  
And he’d be shooting people soon.  
Kenny gave a grin. Yeah, things were looking pretty damn peachy all of a sudden. With that thought, he flipped on the radio. And grinned. And Cartman groaned.   
  
"Really Kinny? Country?"  
  
"Hell yes. _She didn't even say a word, turned on her heel and flipped me the bird, lately we don't have the affect we used to have on the girls, me and my old pickup truck, these days we don't pick up much, but there's chrome on her hood, man we're looking so good when we're looking for looove._ I fucking love this song."  
  
"...God I hate you Kinny." Cartman muttered, choosing to ignore the music in favour of the food in his hands, which seemed to mollify him in the face of the music being played. Kenny was more focused on the fact that he was suddenly very fucking hungry.

After not eating yesterday, he was ready to demolish his food.  
  
He suddenly frowned at that thought.  
  
Man, his emotions had been all over the place this morning. He'd cycled through most of em in the past hour, and feeling this…cheery after his meltdown earlier was fucking weird. Either he was unknowingly on some kinda fucked up drugs, or he had a crush.  
  
Or both. There wasn’t really much difference between the two options.  
  
And ‘crush’ sounded lame as hell.  
  
This was like...ecstasy on a club night out, mixed with fucking amazing sex, topped with downing shots of tequila while waiting for the song with the dirtiest bass to make your very soul shudder when it finally dropped.  
  
It was winning the finals match against your greatest rivals and being lifted up by your team in victory as the crowd showers excitement and glory upon you. It was the moment of catharsis and freedom in Shawshank Redemption. It was Keanu Reeves shooting into the sky in frustration. It was the fist held up at the end of The Breakfast Club.  
It was that first sip of good coffee after a shitty morning, that middle of the night drive to the beach when the streets were empty.  
It was walking around shirtless on a hot summer day and getting tanned. It was walking down the street feeling like you owned the world. It was a hotter than hell shower after getting muddy and filthy. It was those few seconds of silence and stillness just before a roller coaster started. It was waking up early in the morning, but knowing you don’t have to get up, and your bed feels _just right_ as you fall into that dozing awakeness as you drift back to sleep _._ It was being kissed by someone you wanted, for the very first time. The moment just before lips touch, and the moment just after they touch.

In fact, Kenny was pretty sure his life had been the first half of "In the Air Tonight". A chill, but empty melody, with anticipation that he never expected would come.

And when he'd met Craig, and they'd matched, that was the moment the jarring drum drop kicked in and invaded the peace of the song, shattering it, evolving it, and it was a moment he'd been waiting for, just like everyone waited for the moment in the song, except Kenny hadn't realised he'd been waiting for it until it had happened, and then it made sense. Of course he'd been waiting for it.

Everyone knows that the song is missing something before then. Everyone knows their life is missing... _something_. They just don't realise until it hits them out of nowhere. And that's the very best way Kenny could use to describe it. Linking with Craig, had felt just like that. Intrusive, exciting, sudden, jarring. It hadn't been gentle, or permissive. The drums didn't ask the listener for permission to dropkick itself into the song, it came, it conquered, and the listener was bowled over by the charm that lay in the very audacity. 

Even the lyrics themselves. 

_"I can feel it calling in the air tonight. I've been waiting for this moment, all of my life."_

_  
_The feeling... Kenny could only compare it to sex. The really memorable times. The kind where you fought it at first, but eventually we're subdued and you almost had no choice but to surrender yourself entirely to pleasure without restraint. And then it was that slow build up, that increased, got faster and faster, until it had led you to that beautiful peak _juuuust_ before orgasm, where you would beg and plead for it, when you would sell your damned soul to the darkest forces just to be given that moment, that extra push that tipped you over that edge into absolute ecstasy where even the concept that your soul was doomed only spurred on and increased the intensity of the pleasure. 

... Shit. Was he accidentally _turning himself on_?   
  
  
**_Fuck  
_ ** _  
__  
_It took Kenny a moment to realise that his silent ‘fuck’ hadn’t been the only fuck thought there. The timing had been so in sync, Kenny was only sure it wasn’t only him that had thought that because of a few things.  
  
The biggest clue was the fact the SUV had swerved ever so slightly. He’d caught the movement by chance.

And he wouldn't have considered that any more than a coincidence, were it not for the fact that it coincided with how Craig was currently feeling and reacting.   
  
Before, they had both been in a state of ‘aware of each other but concentrating on driving’, but now, Craig felt ever so slightly agitated, and distracted, and...flustered.   
  
Kenny was...yeah, he was a little embarrassed he'd been heard, a little but he was mostly tickled by it.  
  
  
 _That’s what you get for eavesdropping. Focus on driving._ He sent with no small amount of entertained glee.  
  
  
 _Either stop thinking so loudly, or think about something less **fucking** distracting.   
_ _  
__  
_Kenny jolted, almost following in Craig's steps and swerving the truck, luckily, unlike Craig's, Kenny regained control fast enough for it to be avoided.

Was that...an actual sentence? Did he truly just hear a whole, coherent sentence? In Craig's somewhat strained tone?   
  
  
_Fuck. Actual two way communication! Fuck yeah!  
_  
  
His excitement must have been obvious, because despite Craig’s frustration at Kenny’s ‘broadcasting thoughts’, he found his reaction entertaining. And Kenny would even be bold enough to ascertain that he was also pleased at the progression. And there was another sensation, but Kenny didn’t recognise it, and didn’t have the concentration capacity to decipher it, so he had to leave it.  
  
So, he was thinking too loudly. He’d never been accused of thinking too much before.  
  
  
Thinking before acting? Yeah.  
  
Not thinking at all? Absolutely.  
  


And because of such...entertainment, the drive back was pretty quick. Cartman hopped out of the truck pretty sharpish once they'd gotten back, leaving Kenny and Kyle’s food.  
  
“Later.” Was all Cartman said, before he was gone, slamming the door.  
  
“Thanks for driving my fat ass to the foodery Kenny, you are a king among men.” Kenny mockingly spoke out loud as he watched Cartman head to the motel room he shared with Leo and Stan. Kenny wanted to check in with Leo, to make sure that he was feeling okay.  
  
But he was also perfectly content to watch the SUV park up as well. He had coffee, he was good where he was.  
  
He squinted as the sun sluggishly rose higher in the sky. It was gonna be a bitch to see in this kind of sunlight. He’d try and stick to indoors if possible. 

He watched as the group stepped out of the SUV  
  
“Oh Craig. I’m such a shitty person, I don’t know why you put up with me.” Kenny dubbed in a high pitched, whiny voice over Letterman’s words as he spoke to Craig, unable to hear the actual words.  
  
“Yeah, you’re a fucktard.” Kenny deepened his tone as he dubbed Craig’s voice.  
  
“I totally agree. You suck major ass!” Kenny as Tweek dubbed.  
  
“Yeah. If only there was a way for me to not be such a disappointment to humanity.” Kenny finished his dubbing performance of Letterman with a sad, disappointed tone.  
  
“I agree dude. I agree.” And Kenny had to stop to laugh at himself at his Craig voice. The things he did to amuse himself.  
  
  
He wondered what they were really saying. And he watched as Letterman opened the boot of the SUV, revealing airsoft equipment. Kenny leaned forward in interest.  
  
“Ooh, show me the goods big boy, let’s see what you guys are packing.”  
  
And although he wasn’t close enough to see everything, he spied enough to be able to tell that either one of the group was either an avid airsofter, or they were all regulars. He hoped it was the former. His team, as much as they were his ‘bros’, were new players. They would not beat those guys over there with beginners luck if they were all players.  
  
Looks like he’d have to do some plotting.  
  
Stan hadn’t been half bad. Cartman was good for Kamikaze rushes. Leo….well, he loved Leo, even with his flaws.  
  
Kyle had been excellent. He hadn’t expected it, but Kyle had great instincts, and good aim.  
  
Kenny glanced from the SUV to the food on the car seat. Yeah, he should probably get food to Kyle. Plus he was starving.  
  
Grabbing the takeaway bags, he hopped out of his truck and slammed the door with a merry bang. To his delight, it made Letterman jump, and then scowl in his direction. He gave Letterman a smirk to show that yes, he did see him jump out of his skin, before sauntering back to his motel room with a loud “Honey, I’m home!” as he unlocked the door.  
  
  
 _In a better mood.  
_ _  
__  
_Kenny sent a plethora of feelings of agreement, happiness, mischief, excitement, airsoft, challenge, competition, flirtation. Hell, Craig could have all of the feel goods. Kenny was gonna ride this high as long as it was here. Even if the reasoning behind its existence was likely the person next door.

Plus…he hadn't liked the fact that he'd hurt Craig. That had been painful. And yeah, he hadn't fully committed to this change, and he still had a lot to figure out, and no doubt there were probably screaming at the steering wheel days ahead as he tried to tangle through this, and the conflicts within himself. 

But was there anything wrong with just saying…fuck it? For one day? Couldn't he give things a chance, and shoot people and hang around with his friends, and maybe get to know Craig without it being a big issue for a day? 

Kenny felt like the cosmic beings owed at least that much. And probably one more cup of coffee. Cosmic coffee.  
  
He barged through their door. Kyle, having heard his loud greeting, sat up sleepily, the blankets pooling around his legs as he stretched. Kenny would've been quieter on reentry, but Kyle needed to be up, and they needed to be at the grounds at 9.30.

  
“I bring sustenance for my dearest of hearts.” Kenny brandished the bags with a flourish.  
  
“Damn. You’re in a cheery mood all of a sudden. Does that mean Cartman lives?” Kyle spoke around a yawn.  
  
“Yeah, he made himself just useful enough to get a free pass. I think handing over my coffee really helped his case. Speaking of which…” He let the sentence hang expectantly as he held out the second cup. Kyle went from sleepy to alert and eager in a matter of seconds, all but diving off off his bed to reach for it. 

There were a few things that united them in different ways. He and Stan were the fighters of the group, and Kenny could 100% rely on him to have his back, and visa versa. Cartman, when he wasn't being a prick, was usually the one who kept things entertaining. He had pretty good ideas. And if you needed someone to plot with, he was your guy. 

Kyle was the one he confided in. And they both shared a love of good coffee. Usually those two co-existed together. Leo brought the whole group together by being the optimistic, kind, slightly naive person who liked everyone in the group, and just enjoyed being around them. He was the exception to Kenny's rules when it came to the group. (Apart from the driving his truck rule. There's only one other person he'd allow to do that in the group, and it wasn't Leo.)  
  
And when Leo's soulmate turned up, Kenny'd be the one there with a shotgun making sure everything was fine. No one was good enough for Leo in his mind.   
  
Leo's parents had always been shit, so Kenny had, without realising, taken on a 'big brother' role. Not that he'd ever say that. That was fucking embarrassing. 

He still needed to check in on Leo, make sure he was feeling okay and wasn't still getting closely acquainted with the toilet. First though, food, then shower. And he was relieved that Cartman hadn't gone stingy with his meal when he’d asked for ‘anything’. It was pancakes, there were a lot of them, and there was maple syrup. He was happy.  
  
The room passed in comfortable silence while the ‘hunger treaty’ rule was honoured. Kenny felt a general contentment from Craig, but a detached one. Which meant he was likely hanging with Letterman and Tweek.

As Kenny chewed, he wondered if you could create the equivalent of messaging statuses. Like a ‘brb’ or ‘away’ status, but in your mind. That would probably make things a lot easier, especially if you could turn ‘broadcasting’ thoughts off. There was every chance that these inane thoughts were being sent over, and he didn’t even realise. And if that was the case, he felt sorry for Craig, because he thought a lot of weird things. 

And either Craig never thought anything, or he knew how to not project every little thought across to Kenny. Probably the latter. Fuck, apparently those soulmate classes were worth their weight in gold. Past Kenny was a fucker. Leaving all his problems to present Kenny, which was himself. If he could go back in time, he’d go back and suckerpunch Past Kenny.  
  
Although he supposed he may as well just suckerpunch himself. It’d get to Past Kenny eventually. 

“Kyle. Who’d win between me and a past version of me in a fight?”  
  
Kyle looked up from his food, which he had precariously balanced on the space where his crossed legs met.  
  
“You’d both win, and lose. Cos you’re the same person.”  
  
“But I mean like, Back to the Future rules. I go back in time, like, a month ago, and completely wail on my past self.”  
  
“I guess you? You’ve got extra experience past you hasn’t experienced yet.”  
  
“Past me is younger though.” Kenny pointed out as he jabbed his plastic fork in Kyle’s direction.  
  
“Yeah, but you’d have the knowledge that you’d be going back to fight yourself, plus we’d've had this strategy meeting, so you’d be better armed against your past self.”  
  
“Fair point.”  
  
“And why did this topic come up?” Kyle floundered for a moment as his food began to slide off of his legs and he grabbed at it, before repositioning himself.  
  
“Soulmate classes.”  
  
Kyle gave him a look of quizzical confusion. Then he shook his head.  
  
“Assuming those two subject matters even link to start with, why were you thinking about Soulmate classes?”  
  
Kenny shrugged, finishing his food, and now idly dragging his plastic knife through the syrupy residue.  
  
“I should’ve gone to them, right?”  
  
“I fucking told you way back then that you should have come along.”  
  
“Yeah yeah, hindsight 20/20 and all that shit.” He licked the cold syrup off the tip of the knife.  
  
“Does this have anything to do with your ‘latest developments’ you mentioned?”  
  
“Oh. Fuck. Yeah. So, he’s in the room next door.”  
  
Kyle raised an eyebrow.  
  
“So, you both spent all day yesterday chasing each other down during games, and the group is also staying here?”  
  
“Might've seen them at the diner this morning as well…”  
  
Kyle laughed at this, hands on the container holding his food to stop the movement from jostling it. .  
  
“So much for your ‘I’m in control of my own destiny’ theory.”  
  
“I fucking am. It’s just coincidences.”  
  
“I dunno, there are theories. Studies made. Patterson wrote an article talking about the correlation between Sync and Synchronicity of Encounters-”  
  
“Kyle...dude…I’m still struggling with all this stuff. Don’t start telling me I have no control over anything. I will lose my mind. And in all losing my mind scenarios I’ve imagined, there’s always mass murder involved. And I like you dude.” Kenny hoped the lighthearted tone he’d applied to the end of his statement distracted from the fact that he was scared of the idea of having no control. Please don’t let Kyle see through him.  
  
Thankfully, Kyle scoffed and returned to the rest of his food.  
  
“You can grab the shower first.” He offered. An offer Kenny would take enthusiastically.  
  


* * *

  
  
Showered. Dressed. Checked guns and equipment. Checked on Leo.

  
He and Stan were hauling the equipment back into the back of the truck. Cartman was sitting in the back with Kyle, pissy because they’d all agreed to give Leo the front seat, and he’d wanted it. Leo had offered to help carrying things, but Kenny had waved him off, telling him he could sit in the car.  
It was only now when Kenny realised that Leo was over talking with ‘those guys’. Or some of them. Their weekend rivals. Tweek sat in the back seat of the SUV, window down, listening to the conversation, occasionally offering his thoughts. The guy with crutches, was currently in the front seat, sharing what looked to be a large bottle of cola with Tweek, passing it back and forth. Tweek occasionally offered some to Letterman, who declined. Kenny was disgusted to see Leo engrossed in discussion with Letterman of all people. Their other friend, and Craig, were both missing, presumably inside, doing the same and Stan and Kenny.

  
“Leo, are you fraternising with the enemy?” Kenny called as he dumped the bag of bb pellets in the back.

  
“Maybe?” Was his slightly embarrassed reply. And fuck, Kenny couldn’t even pretend to be mad at him when he looked like that.

  
“Alright, well tell them they’re going to get their asses kicked today, okay?”

  
“You fucking wish blondie!” was Letterman’s immediate reply.

  
“Oh fuck! Guys! Is my hair blond? Shit! Why didn't you ever fucking tell me???” Kenny looked accusingly from Stan to Leo, causing Stan to laugh, and Leo to smile. 

  
“By the way, nice black eye there. Goes perfect with your shitty jacket. Wait, you are _aware_ you're wearing a lame letterman jacket, right? Just so we're on the same page and all.” Stan high-fived Kenny and Letterman’s expression darkened.  
  
  
Yeah, that was a pretty bad black eye, and a night of sleep hadn't improved things. Stan’s handiwork certainly left an impression.

  
“Hey, at least I still have all my teeth, right?”

  
“Mm, you know, you’re right. I’m down one tooth. But hey, I’m good looking enough to be able to slide by without it. You on the other hand, need all the help you can get, and that eye isn’t doing shit for your complexion.”

  
“Craig, Token, this ass wants a round two.” Letterman called through the door.

  
“Oh ho, need to call for backup? Can’t fight the battles yourself?” Kenny leaned on the side of his truck, arms folded, crooked smile firmly on his face.

  
“I’ll take you on any time!”

  
“Clyde, maybe save it for the a...a...a...save it for the arena.” The guy in front called to Letterman.

  
“Your name is fucking CLYDE? What kinda shitty name is that?” Kenny doubled over laughing. Stan was sniggering quietly.

  
Leo, as if sensing the impeding fight, stepped between them all.

  
“Hey fellas, we don’t need to be fightin’. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot, right? Maybe after the game, we should hang out or something. We don’t gotta be enemies.”

  
“...Dammit Leo.” Kenny felt the fight leave him. He was disappointed, but Leo was making that damn face. His worried puppy face. And Letterman seemed to be just as weak to it, as he grumbled and his face returned to a normal shade.

  
Leo smiled brightly.  
  
“See, it’s not such a bad idea. Whatcha say, let’s go for food or something.”

  
Kenny looked to Letterman, who scowled. And Kenny smirked.

  
Leo looked imploringly at Kenny.

  
“C’mon guys.”

  
“Butters, they’re Cherry Creek.” Stan pointed out.

  
“So?”

  
“You know. School rivalries and all that.”

  
“But, aren’t we all done with school?” Leo pointed out.

  
“Dammit Leo, ruining the fun by being logical.” Stan groaned at him.  
  
 _  
Having fun?_

  
At that, Kenny looked over, and spied Craig leaning against the doorframe of their room, listening to this exchange. His friend, ‘Token’ he assumed, had moved to stand by….Clyde. What a dumb name.  
  
“Are we having a punch up?” Cartman had wound down the window to call out, having noticed that everyone was standing around.

  
Kenny glanced at Craig, who returned the look, raising an eyebrow.  
  
  
Did Kenny wanna fight Craig? Nope. He was still hurting from the last time he'd tried. Plus, he supposed there were other, sappier reasons.  
  
  
But if he made a move to fight any of the others, he knew that Craig would step in. Just like Kenny himself would if the roles were reversed.

  
  
_Challenge._

  
  
The tone was teasing.  
  
  
Kenny was hesitating. He never hesitated.  
  
  
“Kinny! What the fuck, we could totally take em! Da fuck are you waiting for?”

  
Kyle had turned around in the backseat, and was just smirking at him. He knew Kenny was stuck.

  
  
_Round 2 Kenny? [Anticipation] [Mischief] [Promise]_

_  
__  
_Kenny sucked in a breath. Those moments of broadcast clarity still caught him off guard. Plus, Craig saying his name had done weird, gooey, sappy, disgusting things to his insides. He was becoming very lame.  
  
Kenny refused to look in his direction, or acknowledge that he was clearly broadcasting his reaction.

  
  
 _Smug. Smug. Smugsmugsmug.  
  
  
  
_ _Yeah I fucking get it you asshole. I hope you drown in all your smugness._

 _  
__  
_Kenny was stuck. And Craig knew that. And Kyle did. And if the blond in the SUV’s smile was anything to go by, he did too. And Leo was giving him the puppy dog eyes.  
  
Letterman wanted to go, as did Cartman. Stan oddly, didn’t seem to mind either way, which was the same for Token and the yet to be named guy sitting in the front.  
  
Ugh, he couldn’t believe he was about to be the _pacifist._ There went his reputation.  
  
  
“Nah. I don’t feel like it” He said with as much indifference as he could muster.

  
  
Fucking hated everyone right now.

  
  
“Psh, knew it, you’re scared aren’t you?”

  
  
Oh Letterman was so...so...SO incredibly lucky he was friends with Craig.  
  
“I’m bored of this shit, and these guys. Let’s head over to the arena before I fall asleep listening to them.” Kenny gestured to the truck with his head.  
  
He couldn’t believe he was turning down a chance for a fight. Because of that asshole standing over by the door smirking. Oh, he wasn’t actually smirking, but he was _smirking._  
  
At least Kenny had airsoft to work out his frustrations.  
  
“We should totally grab food afterwards with them though.”  
  
“That sounds like a great idea f..ff...fellas.”

"Oh hey, I know a GREAT club in town." And apparently Letterman could switch from fighting to club suggestions in a matter of seconds.  
  
“Yeah, what the fuck ever, sure.” Kenny shrugged as he agreed, ignoring the asshole, both physically, and his probing.

  
  
Turns out Leo wasn’t his only weakness anymore.  
  
  
And Leo was STILL talking with Letterman. Fucking fuck fuck. 

  
  
Kenny rolled his eyes. He’d been in such a good mood before. And then all this had to happen. Craig had better be fucking grateful. He ignored Leo’s excited chatter as he flung the last of the equipment in the back, wincing inwardly as he remembered it was his equipment, and taking it out on his equipment would only hurt him if he broke it.  
  
  
Fucking fuckers. The lot of them. 

  
He took one more glance at Craig. In his stupid dumb cap that he always wore.  
  
....That he'd worn for almost all the time he'd been here.  
  
...That he was _probably attached to..._  
  
...And had he had a daring idea which he quickly removed from his head. just in case he was broadcasting it to the asshole. He couldn't fight the group anymore, but he knew a way to probably piss Craig off. And with that thought, he decided he'd go for it. Ignoring the fact that Craig probably knew he was up to _something,_ he sauntered over towards where the asshole stood, still leaning against the doorway.  
  
 _Suspicious  
  
  
_ Oh he was very quick on the draw. he knew something was up, but there were hints of bemusement, of probing, and Kenny made sure not to give away the game. _  
_  
  
_Oh yeah, I'm up to something, but you don't know what,_ he thought partly to himself, partly to Craig. It didn't matter whatsoever that he was obvious in his intentions, as long as he didn't come out and think his exact plans.  
  
He'd figured it out. He overthought things and had been doing the equivalent of basically shouting them to Craig.  
  
But...if he was subtle with his thoughts, careful, it was like a whisper. It was still there, but had to be looked for rather than given. As long as he didn't let his thoughts stay on the idea, or he thought of something else, but still had the thought there in the background, Craig couldn't find it.   
  
And Kenny was going to take full advantage of this. He just needed to fill his head with pointless noise.   
  
So, he started singing in his head.  
  
  
 _Ah you know you are my sweetheart, you're the apple of my eye, to you I'd bared my soul, without a question why. I'll always do my very best to never make you cry. I'll care for you and love you true until the day I die._ He sang in his head softly.   
  
_[Curious]. [Suspicious]. [Bemusement]  
  
  
_ Kenny controlled the grin that threatened to appear. Looks like it worked.   
  
He kept his thoughts neutral and innocent, just thinking of singing and nothing else as he moved closer.  
  
Letterman looked suspicious, but didn't say anything, just watched Kenny carefully with narrowed eyes.  
  
Kenny caught Stan's eye.  
  
Stan could tell he was up to something. There was the slightest, tiny smirk on his features that gave it away.  
  
 _  
_Kenny finally stood before Craig, who looked at him with dispassionate suspicion. But Kenny could see the glint of anticipation.  
  
  
 _You were so much better than me at this whole mind/soul thing, but I've figured out a little more of it now._ Kenny felt a mixture of pride and accomplishment from Craig, towards him at those thoughts, and he almost felt bad at what he was going to do.  
  
Almost.  
  
So, Craig thought he was just flaunting his new level up. Perfect.  
  
  
His Irish accent wasn't as good as his mind singing Irish, or his in real life deep south accent, but he wouldn't let that hold him back as he started singing softly out loud, just leaning on the other side of the door. Because he still wanted to create noise, but it probably looked very odd to the others that they were just standing there in silence. Plus, in order to get the punchline, everyone had to hear the joke first.  
  
  
  
 _"Ah don't worry about times ahead, the future is unknown, with every bend and crossroads, you'll never be alone, and if the days get darker, and the restless winds they blow, then in the dust, we can trust our love will take us home."  
  
_ "Ever heard that song before?" Kenny asked Craig, who lifted an eyebrow.   
  
"Should I have?"  
  
"Well, I suppose not. Still, if you had, would have been fortuitous." Kenny offered a smile.   
  
"Why's that?"  
  
 _"_ Wanna hear the chorus first?" _  
  
_Craig shrugged as if he didn't care either way.  
 _  
  
[Confirmation]. [Amusement].  
  
  
_ Kenny had wrestled a pistol from Craig's grasp before. Kenny knew Craig was stronger than him, but Kenny was absolutely quicker, which was how he'd managed to keep the pistol.  
  
And it was how he was able to shoot out a hand, grab the hat off Craig's head and retreat before Craig could even attempt to retrieve it.  
  
  
Kenny placed it on his own head with a grin as he started on the chorus.   
  
_"Hold on to your hat, as we drive this road together, hold on to your hat, and we'll see all kinds of weather, hold on to your hat, as we drive this road together, hold on to your hat, say you'll be mine forever."  
  
_ And he dodged from Letterman's attempt to grab it back as he walked past, now openly grinning as he backed towards the truck. Stan was trying not to laugh. Letterman looked as if he was about to screw the truce and go for an attack anyway.  
  
"I think I'll keep hold of this for now Craig. You won't miss it much, right?" And Kenny took a moment to enjoy the complex and opposing thoughts and feelings that came his way.  
  
  
Yeah, Craig was attached to his hat.   
  
  
_Aww, don't get mad. I can't fight you, so I guess that means I get my revenge this way huh? How you liking it?  
  
  
_ _Promise of revenge [Irritation] [Amusement] [Competition] [Pride] [Exasperated] [Affection ] [Embarrassment] [Fondness] [Wounded Pride] [Challenging] .  
  
  
_ There were a few more sensations he couldn't quite put a name to 100%, but he could guess. Plus, bonus points, Craig had broken his rule of not looking anything but bored, in order to look irked. And was Craig actually...glaring at him?  
  
Kenny was immediately reminded of how Craig had glared at him after their fistfight, during airsoft. And Kenny was startled.  
  
Craig was already attractive to him, this he couldn't deny, but when he was annoyed, something changed. There was a light in his eyes, like Craig had come to life somewhat. And that spark of 'whatever', made Craig's eyes difficult to break gazes with.   
  
It was like staring at an animal that after days of pursuit, had finally hunted you down, and now that it had you, it was in no rush to make a move.  
  
It knew you had nowhere to run.   
  
Even normally, Craig had pretty eyes. Like, really really pretty. And Kenny would be the first to admit that even in their earlier days of rivalry, he'd reluctantly found them beautiful. But right now? They almost fucking _glowed.  
  
_ [ _Want_ ]  
  
Kenny snapped himself out of his reverie as he heard that thought, remembering he was midway between something, and now was not the time to be ogling a pretty pair of eyes. And Craig had reminded him that he had something of Craig's that he wanted.   
  
_Come and take it then._ Was his playful reply.  
  
And he broke gazes with Craig, reminded once again that there were people around, and staring at each other in silence for too long would probably look weird.  
  
He had what he wanted, and he was happy to drag it out a little longer. He wasn't done being playful.   
  
"Give it back asshole!" Was Letterman's oh so scary and oh so useful contribution. And he was the only one. Apart from Craig glowering, and Letterman shouting, no one was making any sort of move and motion to help either of the two, they were simply watching the drama, with varying degrees of expression.  
  
Token looked more surprised that Kenny had managed to take it, or maybe he was surprised that Kenny was still alive, based on Craig's current expression. Letterman was pissed off, Kyle looked both exasperated and amused, Stan had already made movements to the truck. He knew Kenny well enough to know that Craig wasn't getting his property back just yet. Tweek looked amused and unsurprised. Cartman was on his phone, having lost interest in the group the minute a fight was off the table. He'd glanced up at Letterman's shouts, but quickly returned to the game he was playing.   
  
  
Kenny ignored Letterman's challenges as he opened the driver's door of the truck, sliding in for a moment to set up his phone to the truck speaker. Kyle and Leo had responded to the sign that Kenny was ready to go, and hopped in the truck, one in the front, one in the back. And the Irish tones of the song Kenny had sung before came through the truck speakers.  
  
Kenny chanced one more look at Craig. He'd poke the pretty eyed animal just once more.  
  
  
"Singer's got a point sweetheart. If you love something, you should probably make sure it doesn't get away so easily." Kenny said airily, leaning on the door. He took a moment to adjust the cap on his head, in an exaggerated manner.   
  
  
"And don't ye worry, _apple of my eye_ , I'll take good care of it." He ended his fun with an Irish drawl and a wink to Craig, before hopping into his truck.   
  
  
The truck pulled away just as the chorus of the song began.   
  
  
Ah, revenge was a beautiful, beautiful thing.   
  
  
_  
_

* * *


	6. Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shut up! Anyway, there's that scene where they're trying to get the egg?" 
> 
> "I guess?" 
> 
> "And the dad goes 'RELEASE THE BABY!'?" 
> 
> "Yeah." 
> 
> "You're the baby, dude."

* * *

##  **CHAPTER SIX**

##  **Skin**

* * *

  
Chapter Six Song (Kenny’s): Dontcry, Nokiaa - Eastway  
Chapter Six Song (Craig’s): Trading Yesterday - Love Song Requiem (The Beauty & The Tragedy Version)

* * *

  
  
  
Kenny felt the plethora of feelings and sensations as his dumbass brain took what was probably conversation and turned it into rudimentary terms.  
  
  
 _Challenge Revenge Possessive Mine Competition. Exasperation. Antagonise. Fun. Cute. Adorable. Fondness. Tease. Revenge. Can of Worms.  
  
_ Kenny was inwardly preening at his successful theft, his trophy still firmly upon his head. And despite the disjointed feelings and words he was receiving that he couldn't quite figure out, he was elated.  
  
And maybe a bit disappointed they hadn't been alone when he'd done that. _  
__  
__  
_“I bet you wished you were faster.” Kenny said quietly with a grin in reply to Craig's thoughts, ignoring the realisation that during that whole event, he'd been comparing pre-soulmate Craig to the Craig of now. And it turned out that once he'd removed his layers of antagonism and anger, he'd _still_ found Craig hella appealing visually. And if he was honest, who wouldn't? Under the blankness of his day to day expression, he was striking, especially when he did show emotion. Like anger. Maybe Kenny hadn't consciously paid attention during their fight, but thinking back on it now, there was something incredibly appealing to a Craig whose gaze had quickly flipped from bored to intense and dark as he wiped the blood off his lip.   
  
And in other news, he could totally hear the plans and plots that Craig went through in his head to get his hat back. Well, bring it on, he was ready.   
  
“What was that Kenny?” Leo asked, looking curious that Kenny had spoken up.  
  
Damn.  
  
“Nothing dude. Don’t worry. Just a bit of mockery to audiences left in the dust. You still feeling okay? Definitely not feeling ill anymore?” Leo gave him a bright smile.  
  
“Aww nah, I’m feeling pretty great now. I think it was just what I ate yesterday.”  
  
“Still took the damn front seat though didn’t ya?”  
  
The truck filled with a chorus of groans, interspersed with “Again Cartman??” and “Shut the fuck up Cartman.” and a very earnest “I don’t mind swapping with ya Eric.” “No, you stay where you are Butters, Cartman can fucking learn to deal.” “Shuddup ya greedy Jew!” “I swear if Stan wasn’t sitting between us right now Cartman.”  
  
This was a typical car journey with the five of them, and Kenny was too elated to get involved.  
  
  
 _Happy?  
  
_

Look at that, he was starting to get intonation. Now it didn’t sound like everything was spat out by a robot.  
  
  
 _Maybeee...._ He tried to reply.  
  
  
 _Hothead. Trickster. Playful. Cute. Self sore.  
_ _  
__  
Awww, poor Craig, all hatless. Whatever will he do? Go out hatless? But what will the neighbours think?!  
_ _  
  
__  
__Eye Roll. Endearing. Revenge.  
_ _  
__  
_It was hard to take Craig’s sarcastic moments seriously when they were usually followed by some sort of indication of his fondness for Kenny. He was pretty sappy.  
  
  
 _Maybe.  
_ _  
__  
_Kenny resisted scoffing as the airsoft grounds came into view. He sat behind another vehicle as they waited in the queue to park. Kenny leaned on the steering wheel as they waited. This was gonna take a while. Fuck, they should’ve gotten there sooner. He blamed Letterman. Because everything that went wrong was probably's Letterman's fault.  
  
  
 _Definitely you mean. You’re gonna get your ass kicked today by the way.  
_ _  
__  
__Anticipation. Expectation....Foreplay  
_ _  
__  
_Kenny’s elbow slipped, hitting the horn.  
  
  
“Fuck!” He cursed loudly  
  
Leo jumped at the sound, the person in front of them glared at them in the rearview mirror, and Kenny held up an apologetic hand.  
  
  
 _Laughter. Laughter. Laughter._ _  
__  
  
_No matter how good the laughter felt, he was not going to acknowledge it. He was embarrassed and flustered. Asshole. No, actually, not asshole. He didn’t deserve an endearing nickname. Fucking slipping that thought in out of fucking nowhere, the…the…

Had his mind gone blank of curse words? He couldn't even find a simple insult?   
  


Fuck.   
  


Oh wait, that would work.

The fuck. Wait, he remembered now. He'd come up with something already.  
  
Craig 'Asshole' Fucker. There we go.   
  
_Laughter. Irony.  
  
_ Why was _that funny?_ Or was he still laughing at his slip up?  
  
“Gee Kenny, you’re sure jumpy.”  
  
“I wonder why...” Kyle commented, his tone oddly knowing, glancing back at the SUV, which up until now, Kenny hadn't noticed because ironically, he'd been too busy semi-conversing to said SUV owner.   
_  
_"I told you, we should've kicked their ass. I bet that asshole brunette is a crier."

"What, like you fatass?" 

"Shaddap Kahl!" 

"No. You're right. You squeal like a pig, don't you? Like on that video Kenny shared." 

"Fuuuck yoooou Kaaahl!" 

Cartman had followed Kyle's glance during their spat, and was looking back at the SUV. 

"As soon as I learn to drive, Imma buy a monster truck and flatten that car."

"Like they'd ever fucking let you on the road!" 

"They'll have to. I'm a law abiding citizen."

"Law abiding my ass. You set fire to the school!" 

"Ay! That was Kinny and Butters. I was an innocent bystander."

"I fucking SAW you, lamewad!"

"Of course you did, you Jews are all sneaky, spying on people so you can steal their gold!"

Stan leaned forward. 

"Looks like there's a few spaces over there. They're spaced out, so everyone is mostly driving to the right." Stan pointed, as they talked over the argument 

"Good plan." Kenny agreed. The spaces were a little narrow, but he could fit his baby in the furthest left one. 

"Stan, you need to fuckin' move so I can beat this goddamn Jew!"

"Bring it on! You haven't beaten me since sixth grade. And that was luck!" 

"No it wasn't! I beat you fair and square!" 

Kenny surveyed the spaces. Probably wasn't much space for the SUV. He glanced at the mirror. 

At this point, Kenny wasn't sure he'd even be able to drive down a road without expecting it to be driving behind him.   
  


_Although that would make avoiding the threadsnap a lot easier.  
_ _  
__  
_Kenny was suddenly overcome with a new sensation, that was lowkey, but still there in its poignancy.  
  


_Forlorn  
  
_

Wait  
  
  
What?   
  


His self satisfaction momentarily forgotten, he gently probed around that sensation of...forlornness.   
  


Kenny sent what he hoped were the feelings for comfort and inquiry. 

_  
Different locations. Home tomorrow  
  
_

Kenny swallowed a lump in his throat as he realised the meaning. They'd be parting ways tomorrow. And that was a terrifying prospect he hadn't even considered until just now. All his resistance against this, and he'd forgotten that it couldn't actually last forever.   
  
He didn't wanna say goodbye. 

_Comfort  
  
_

_Fucking no. Don't worry about me, you're the one feeling down about it. Let me comfort you, you bastard._ Kenny thought fiercely.   
  


Okay, so his bedside manner could use some work. The good intentions were there though. And he was probably better at comforting face to face anyway. Was kinda hard to hug someone through the brain. Or the soul. Or whatever this was. 

What was the feeling that had made him feel like he was being hugged. He could spam that one. Closeness? No wait, he remembered.   
  


_AffectionAffectionAffectionLargeAffectionIsThisWorking?  
  
_

Maybe he needed to be more literal?   
  


_Fucking adorable  
  
_

Kenny sat up straight at those words. He loved it when he heard Craig come through mostly clearly. He even almost thought he heard _tone._

Don't get him wrong. The feelings and sensations were…fantastic, and overwhelming and he enjoyed them, but there was just something that struck a chord every time he heard Craig actually speak to him as if he was face to face. And they were becoming more frequent.   
  


_Practice is working._ Kenny almost sensed the sensation that went with that one. 

Holy shit. He was right. This was getting more and more frequent.   
  


_I feel like I've levelled up. Just you wait. Soon I'll be talking circles around you!  
  
_

_Can't wait. [Amused]  
  
_

Kenny's previous smugness was entirely dropkicked out of the truck in favour of both cheering Craig up, and his excitement over this new development. 

That…was Craig's words, and his feelings. At the same time. Not a mass tangle of random snippets. That was Craig saying those words, in an amused way. 

Okay, it was still a tiny bit clunky the way his brain was laying it out, and it seemed limited to only a few words of conversation compared to the entire novels Craig seemed to be able to hear from his mind. But it was a start. And he had a suspicion that Craig had figured this out, and was purposefully talking in short sentences so that Kenny could pick them up. 

_  
Bingo  
  
_

"Kenny. You can go now." Stan's voice over his shoulder made him jump as he was reminded where he was. 

Fuck, he'd been really out of it. Doing that whilst driving was not a good idea. Even if it was less 'driving' at the moment, and more 'queueing to park'. 

And Stan was looking at him oddly. 

"Dude, you okay?" he spoke quietly, and Kenny was so glad that the two in the back were still arguing. Leo however, was looking over as well, looking concerned. 

"Yeah, I'm fine man. Let's park up and get our game on!"

And Kenny took Stan's advice, choosing to turn left, his eye on the space closest to them. He also watched as the SUV, as expected, turned right. It was a fucking tight squeeze for the truck, but he managed it with a little help from Stan checking his other side. 

"Kinny, how the fuck am I supposed to squeeze out of that small space?" 

"Lose some weight fatass." Kyle commented as his thin, lithe form easily fit through the space on his side.  
  
"I shouldn't need to become anorexic like you Kahl just to get out of a door!"

With some huffing, and a small bit of struggle, Cartman was out.

Cartman was definitely the stockiest of the group of them. However, some of his stock was muscle, some was fat. Stan was slightly less stocky, but was all muscle. 

Stan and Cartman were visually their 'tough guy showmen'. Kenny and Kyle didn't look as if they had much to give in a fight.

Kenny was their main fighter though. Kenny had a streak of crazy that went so well with fighting. Usually Kenny and Stan were the tag team, with Cartman and Kyle as tag team backup. 

Kyle had commented on it once when they were younger.   
  
  


_"Remember when we saw "The Croods?"_

_"That film about cavemen?"_

_"Yeah. Always thought that the family dynamic was like us. Stan's like the leader dad, Cartman's the fat, scared big brother."_

_"Ay! I'm not fat! And why is Stan the leader? I come up with the ideas."_

_"Cartman, shut the hell up I'm trying to make a point here."_

_"Must make you the fucking girl Kahl. You both have red jew hair and a vagina."_

_"Shut up! Anyway, there's that scene where they're[trying to get the egg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_bpuzcOduU&t=52s)?" _

_"I guess?"_

_"And the dad goes 'RELEASE THE BABY!'?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"You're the baby, dude."_

_Cartman and Stan had cracked up at that, leaving Kenny standing there, looking disgusted at the idea of being called a baby._

_"Totally, you totally are."_

_"Release the Kinny!"_

_"Fuck off. The baby was like some wild, feral animal."_ He'd protested. 

_Three raised eyebrows, and then the room dissolved into laughter._

_"Oh fuck you guys..."_

And apparently that was their group dynamic in Kyle's weird mind.   
  


_[Agree]. Crazy child. You act before you think.  
  
  
I am NOT a crazy bitey child, just beca-  
_  
  
Kenny stoped his thought speech as he realised something.   
  
  


What

The

Fuck?  
  
  
  


_You saw that? You saw me remembering that? As in, I remembered something, and you saw what I remembered?  
  
_

_Yeah  
  
  
_

Kenny didn't even respond this time when Stan called his name, or poked him. It was only when Stan bumped his shoulder with Kenny’s own that he actually looked up. 

"Dude." Stan was looking at him, concerned. 

"Uh, It's fine dude. Didn't sleep well last night, so I'm a bit 'stare into space' today. Sorry."

"Yeah. I kinda noticed that. That and the mumbling to yourself."

Kenny didn't offer an explanation for that. There wasn't really anything that came to mind quick enough that would cover his ass, so he said nothing. 

Stan looked at him for a moment, before shrugging. 

"Shall we sort what we're using and take it to base?" 

Kenny nodded, his hands on autopilot. 

Shit. Craig could see stuff he remembered. This was…  
  
  
 _[Apology] [Concern] You okay?  
_ _  
__  
_Kenny scoffed. He thought he was mad?  
  
  
 _Not Angry. Confused, Overwhelmed. Amazed.  
  
_

As they dragged the equipment up to the main area, Kenny eyed up the little shelters that were used for teams to put their equipment, or to come back to rehydrate/refuel. Most of them were taken, but they managed to snag one in the corner. Cartman dumped his carry load down with a flourish. 

"See you bitches in a bit. Imma check out the guns they're selling."

"Thinking of making it more regular."

"Maybe"

"Cartman, you won't be allowed to buy the replicas without them being coloured." 

"The fuck's that supposed to mean?" 

"You need a license to buy replica guns. You'll only be allowed to buy orange tipped guns." 

"What the- that makes no fucking sense."

"Yeah it does." Kenny held up his pistol. 

"From a distance, would you be able to tell that wasn't real?" 

"Uh.."

"Exactly. But with an orange tip, you'd be able to tell."

Cartman threw up his hands. 

"Fine whatever. I'm just gonna look. Not like I actually want one or anything." and Cartman spun on his foot and strode off. 

"He's totally gonna get one anyway."

"Hey, Kenny."

Kenny looked to Kyle. 

"Was any of that true?" 

Kenny smirked

"Not in Colorado."

  
Kyle laughed.  
  
"Oh I fucking hope he buys an orange tipped gun, I really do."  
  
Kenny kept an eye out for the SUV crew that he'd so lovingly named thus. He kinda wanted to speak to Craig. Although iff he was being fair, he'd been wanting to do that at an increasing level since they first arrived. But in his defence, this was important, he wanted to ask about the whole memory thing, find out if that was normal.   
  
"I uh, might go for a walk too." He let Kyle know. Kyle stretched lightly and yawned. He was dressed much better today, in tones of sepia, green and grey, and with a pair of black boots. Good to see Kyle had leafned from yesterday's match, Kyle was going to be his main partner in today's games  
  
"Sure. Tell Craig I said hi."  
  
"Yeah will d-ah fuck." Kyle grinned at Kenny's slip up.   
  
"Well played Broflovski..."  
  
"You're so lovestruck, it wasn't hard to figure it out." Kyle spoke in a low tone, glancing towards their remaining member. Stan was still in the bunker, busying himself with refilling the AK47 ammo. Leo had...wandered off. He wasn't in their little bunker.  
  
"I am not." Kenny argued. Kyle rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'll let Stan and the others know you wandered off, don't worry. Also, here." And Kyle chucked him a bottle of water.   
  
"...Thanks dude."  
  
  
A twist of a bottle cap later, and Kenny was off and wandering, but trying to look as if he had a purpose rather than simply keeping a very close eye out for a very particular group, with a very particularly tall, dark haired person in it. You'd think it wouldn't be this hard, but there were a surprising amount of people chatting, talking, milling around, and the thing about airsoft? Most people wore either ghillie suits, or dark, muted colours, so people all seemed to blend together and it was difficult to see where people began and ended. And it was because of that very fact, that only Kenny's instincts and reflexes that saved him from Letterman coming out of nowhere and attempting to swipe the hat from his head.   
  
"Well, look who it is." Kenny pulled the hat down slightly in a mocking manner, just to remind Letterman that he'd missed.   
  
"Give it back, it's not yours." Letterman looked irked at missing, and the fact Kenny still had the hat.  
  
"Very true. It's not. Although, I'm also pretty sure Craig can fight his own battles without needing _your_ pathetic attempts to help." Kenny nonchalantly took a swig of his water. Letterman looked as if he wanted to attempt a second go, but Kenny was more than ready. letterman couldn't catch him by surprise, he wasn't going to catch him when he was fully aware.

"C'mon. We're supposed to be getting along right? Then give it back." Well that was surprising. Letterman actually wanting to get along. Wasn't gonna happen.  
  
"I told Craig, he wants it back, he's gotta get it back himself. Bit of fun and all that."  
  
Letterman scowled at him.   
  
"Is this because he pummelled you? Because you should really let that go." Oh well wasn't Letterman every shade of assholery? Props to him for attempting to go for Kenny's pride.  
  
"Water under the bridge that. No, this is a new kind of game. And it's a two player game. So. Fuck. Off."  
  
"Look Craig doesn't wanna play your bullshit games man. Stop fucking with him."   
  
"Oh but I'm pretty sure Craig wants to play with me...C'mon _Clyde,_ tell Craig I wanna play." And wasn't it worth it just to see Letterman's face darken at his words.  
  
  
Letterman scowled and stepped forward as if to attempt to take it. Kenny moved back just out of reach, grinning. Well now, Letterman was getting cocky all of a sudden. Oh Kenny hoped he wanted to fight. If Letterman threw the first punch, it'd count as 'self defence' after that.  
  
And Kenny walked back into someone. And Letterman looked oddly pleased with himself.  
  
"Looks like your mindfuckery games are over then. Hey dude."  
  
And Kenny realised that Letterman wasn't greeting him. And he had a suspicion on who it was. So, instead of backing up, or turning around, he leaned his head back, so the top of his head touched the person's chest. Looking up, he was able to confirm this was indeed who he thought it was.  
  
"Hi." He greeted casually from his leaning and looking up position.  
 _  
...Being adorable won't save you.  
  
_ Kenny grinned.  
  
 _I beg to differ._ _  
  
"_ So Craig. Was just telling _Clyde_ here-   
  
"-Stop fucking saying my name like that!-"  
  
"-that I was in the mood to play. And _Clyde_ thinks it's because I'm still sore from our fight yesterday. And that's the reason I took your hat."  
  
"-Which it fucking is." Letterman groused.  
  
"But I'm not that petty. I just wanna play."   
  
_Plus you wouldn't let me fight Letterman without going through you. But mostly because I wanna play.  
_  
  
"And then _Clyyyyde_ tries to get in on the game, but I tell him he's not invited to play. Two player game you see. And _I_ get to pick the other player." Kenny looked up at Letterman growing more incensed.   
  
"I'm not fucking playing shit with you, I'm just trying to get back the thing you STOLE."  
  
"And I told him I wanted to play with you. And I asked him all kinds of nicely to tell you that, but he's useless, so I _guess_ I have to do it myself..."   
  
"I wasn't gonna ask Craig shit for you!"  
  
 _"Do yoooou wannaa plaaaay, play with me?"_ Kenny [sang](https://open.spotify.com/track/6hpPAOftKbe1YghyTtJuCq?si=93EsIYijQ9uTt8kIJSOUNw) softly, his eyes glinting mischievously. _  
  
_  
Craig had looked unimpressed during most of his explanation. But Kenny knew the truth that Letterman didn't, the truth behind the deadpan look. Kenny had the advantage of feeling what Craig felt, hearing what Craig thought, Craig thought he was being fucking cute with his little story, adorable with his suggestiveness, typical but endearing with his antagonising of Letterman, but mostly, Craig was...entranced, and didn't want to interrupt it in any way. And Kenny found himself distracted from his fun task by a small wave of affection for this soulmate of his.  
  
He was still pretty amazed by the simple fact that Craig liked him. His stupid streak of mischief, his sarcastic and barbed humour, his random tendency to communicate with songs and singing, his overactive mind, and his perchance for antagonism and violence mixed with a heady dose of crazy. Somehow, even though the mixture sounded awful, Craig didn't tolerate it. He _liked_ it.  
  
Kenny had been told before by others that he was quite the looker, but that his shitty personality ruined it, and typical to Kenny, he both ignored the comment and took it to heart.   
  
And there was a big difference between traits being tolerated, and revered. And Craig's thoughts fell into the latter. And it was a beautiful realisation for Kenny, which because Kenny was thinking it, was also a great realisation for Craig. They were having a moment.   
  
So, obviously, Letterman had to ruin it. Because he's Letterman and something would be terribly wrong in the world if he had any ounce of ability to read a room or read between the lines.  
  
"Craig. Dude, seriously. Your hat is literally there for the taking. Why are you just standing there listening to him talk crap?" Letterman's voice fractured their moment, and they broke eye contact to look at him, Kenny removing himself from his awkward position to glare at Letterman. And Kenny was both incensed at this utter fucktard, and slightly disappointed that his cap theft game would be over so soon. Obviously because of the game, and it was nothing to do with having something of Craig's. Nope.   
  
"...Too easy." was the reply Craig gave Letterman.   
  
"Too...easy?" Letterman repeated. Craig shrugged.   
  
"He wants to play." Kenny leaned back against Craig, folded his arms, and _smirked._  
  
Letterman narrowed his eyes, and then looked between the two of them, at their closeness, Kenny's disregard for personal space.  
  
 _Dear god, is Letterman figuring it out? Quick! Alert the press!  
  
_ And Kenny could feel Craig trying not to laugh. Both in his thoughts, and the slightest tremor that Kenny felt from Craig's body.   
  
"Is this..."  
  
 _Go on Letterman, you can dooo it!_  
  
"...because our groups are friendly now? You're trying to hang out and stuff?"  
  
And Kenny inwardly cackled. _  
  
He didn't fucking get it! What else do I have to do to make this guy get it?_  
  
  
Craig shrugged in reply to Letterman, and Kenny reached up an arm to massage the back of his own neck. Cute look, hurts neck. Good to know.  
  
"Guess so." was his bored reply. Oh his sweetheart was such a good actor.  
  
"Weren't you getting friendly with their group earlier?"  
  
Clyde's face brightened for a moment

"Yeah, you know what, you make a good point, especially that Leo guy. Yeah, Leo's pretty cool."  
  
Kenny bristled. Leo liked to be called Leo, but most of his childhood friends called him Butters, apart from himself. He called Leo Leo. To hear Letterman use it made his hackles rise. And wasn't Letterman getting awfully chummy with Leo? The good one of their group. The innocent one of their group?  
  
  
Kenny felt a small tug of tension, stopping him from moving forwards. Even before he had even done so. And then Kenny realised why he had even felt the movement.  
  
Because Kenny had tried to move towards Letterman, and Craig had realised Kenny's intentions before he'd made a move, and had casually and subtly held onto the back of Kenny's hoodie with one hand. And he'd done this somehow without Kenny even registering it. It was only the fact that Kenny had _gone_ to move was the reason he'd noticed it. And Craig did nothing else, just held him back. It was very well hidden, no one watching would have even noticed, but Craig was making sure he wasn't going to jump Clyde. It was his gentle but firm way of telling him to calm down. 

Kenny tested the grip by pulling slightly, but Craig held fast, pulling Kenny back against the tension, not allowing him to take even a step forward. And Letterman was clueless, still talking about Leo.   
  
Letterman was so fucking lucky he had Craig protecting him. And that Craig was physically stronger than Kenny.  
  
Craig was lucky he could take Kenny on in a fight and win. Otherwise Kenny might have tested his strength against Craig's grip far more than the once.   
  
And that little rebellious thought earned him a small jerk back closer to Craig, with Craig leaning down and speaking quietly into his ear.  
  
"Calm the hell down." _  
  
_Maybe it was something in Craig's low forceful tone, that left no room for argument, but almost immediately, Kenny exhaled loudly, and let the tension leave his body. And Letterman was _still_ talking. And Kenny leaned back a bit more, to confirm that he wasn't going to start any fights, and almost...apologise for his challenge against Craig. Which Craig had won. Again.   
  
Kenny was absolutely losing his status as badass recently. And he'd never had anyone able to calm him the hell down with just words before. That was...embarrassing? Impressive? Also, 'calm' was the wrong word.  
  
  
 _Submit  
  
  
Fuck you, I did not 'submit' to shit thank you very much. _Kenny thought hotly.  
  
  
 _100% bratty sub confirmed._  
  
  
 _Fuuuuuck yoooooooou.  
  
  
You're proving my point._  
  


"Clyde! Craig, you coming?" 

Kenny felt the concentration of their conversation burst as the voice cut through Craig's concentration. In recognition of his name being called. Kenny glanced over at the voice owner. Tweek was calling.  
  
 _Aww dammit. Always interruptions  
  
_ Still, Kenny felt...neutral towards Tweek, so couldn't be too annoyed. He was basically Craig's Kyle, and they'd both done them a solid yesterday when they'd been...stuck. Okay, yeah, he was upgrading Tweek from neutral to slightly appreciated. And he ranked second after Craig, so Tweek really wasn't doing too bad for himself.  
  
"Good to know you don't hate all of my friends." Craig spoke quietly as Letterman turned and waved to Tweek.   
  
"I can appreciate anyone's wingman in situations like yesterday. Most people would've asked questions. He just got on with things. I respect that."  
  
Craig hummed his agreement.   
  
"Be honest, Letterman would've fucked it up."  
  
"Clyde."  
  
"Like that's an improvement."  
  
 _You're being a pain in the ass.  
  
_ "It's a fair trade man. You're absolutely allowed to hate Cartman, I'm allowed to hate _Clyde."  
  
_ Craig sighed, but didn't pursue the subject. Kenny could feel the small waves of disappointment. And it made him feel kind of guilty.   
  
"I don't get why I need to like him so much anyway." Kenny eventually mumbled out.   
  
"I want you to like my friends."  
  
"And I will. Apart from Letterman."  
  
Craig rolled his eyes.  
  
Kenny still felt kind of bad, but also didn't want to apologise. In his mind, Letterman was deserving of it. So instead, he changed the subject.   
  
"Is this our first fight darling?"   
  
Craig didn't react outwardly, but Kenny felt that he was trying not to smile.   
  
"I think we had that yesterday." He commented drily instead. Kenny did smile at that.   
  
"Yeah, good point. Joke's on you though, didn't manage to concuss me. I'd call that my victory."  
  
"I'm sure that most people who fall flat on the floor and can't get up don't usually feel that way about a fight."  
  
"It was a pain. A first aider had come over and was being fucking annoying. Trying to blind me with a light and making me read some numbers off a card. I just needed a couple of minutes, and I'd've been ready to go again man."  
  
Craig's mouth twitched, but to his credit, he didn't smile.   
  
"Uh, so...what happened after the headbutt?" Kenny asked sheepishly.   
  
"CRAAAIG. C'MON MAN!"  
  
Clyde was waving from where he stood next to Tweek, who was twitching sporadically as he sipped from a hot thermos. Kenny muttered darkly to himself, but kept his thoughts fairly non-descript, for Craig's sake.   
  


"Go ahead. I'll catch up."

"You sure man?" Letterman squinted suspiciously at the idea that Craig was _willing_ to hang around with this person he stood near for longer than necessary. Again, Kenny waited and watched as the cogs in Letterman's head turned, but the moment of realisation never came.   
  
_Man, I hope he's a better fighter than thinker, otherwise I'd flatten him.  
  
_ Craig exhaled, irritation evident at Kenny. Who felt remorse for most things regarding Craig, but disliking Letterman was not one of them, and he wouldn't even pretend to be apologetic. No way. 

"Yeah." Craig replied to Letterman, adding to his words with a slight nod towards him, which in Craig language translated to "Yeah man, I'm 100% certain and sure and definite." Guess the addition of a nod was his way of comforting Letterman.   
  
  
  
God he was getting weird wasn't he? Analysing subtle movements and knowing what they meant. He dearly hoped it was another 'soulmate thing'.

Letterman nodded back, unsure, but not really able to vocalise any sort of complaint without going against Craig's wishes.  
  
Kenny watched as Craig and Tweek met gazes for a moment. Then Tweek looked to him. Kenny blinked in surprise. Tweek looked at him levelly for a moment. Then he looked back to Craig, smirked, and turned away, Letterman in tow.   
  
"You are being a pain in the ass." Was the first thing out of Craig's mouth.   
  
[Irritation] [Irked]  
  
"Just give it time. I promise you Cartman will wind you up over time. And I'll remember these conversations and remember to be annoyed at you when I hear you bitching about him."  
  
Wow, this was weird...they were actually a little bit pissed off at each other. Craig for Kenny continuously laying into his friend, Kenny for Craig trying to get him to like Letterman.  
  
"See? This sucks. We're pissed off at each other, because of Letterman. Once again, and not for the first time I might add, he is being the most expert of cockblockers."  
  
"...I'm not pissed off at you."  
  
"Liar."  
  
And they glared at each other again. And then Kenny had to look away. Craig was being all smouldering and attractive again. He really shouldn't find pissed off Craig hot, but here they were.  
  
"Such a bastard..." And he relaxed.  
  
 _I am NOT sorry for me vs Letterman. But...I am sorry it's annoying you..I guess...prick. That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop, but you know, he totally returns the favour. I don't think he needs you to protect him.  
  
_ "..Your apologies could do with some work."   
  
  
"You too man, I don't seem to hear one."  
  
And the tension was broken as Craig chuckled.   
  
_Fair point.  
  
_ _I'm not just a pretty face. Got a great mind up here...somewhere. Plus you laughed, and rules state you can't be mad if you laughed.  
  
_ "You're such a pain... " _[Charmed] [Apology]  
  
You're lucky I think you're fine as fuck when you're angry.  
  
Ditto.  
  
_  
Uh, so, that was a blushworthy comment. Time to change the subject again, a la Kenny style.   
  
  
"So, Tweek totally knew we wanted to hang. Good thing you'd already told him."  
  
"He guessed actually. Filled him in on details after."  
  
Kenny raised both eyebrows.  
  
"He _guessed?"  
  
_ "Mm hm."  
  
"....How? Like, I guess the airsoft stuff was a little...weird. But Craig, and I mean this with the greatest of affection, you seem like the kinda guy that would do great at poker, if you get my meaning. How did he guess from working with...that?" And Kenny gestured at Craig's face.   
  
"Tweek's intuitive. And good at putting things together."  
  
"Uh huh...?"  
  
  
"People tend to not believe him because he was a pretty paranoid kid. When he did get it right, they didn't believe him."  
  
"Huh..."  
  
Kenny had a newfound respect for Tweek. This guy helped them out, and figured them out. Well played.   
  
  
"Well. Clearly he's one of the brains of the group. Unlike a certain someone." Kenny commented idly, causing Craig to scoff.   
  


_Eye roll.  
  
  
_ "Don't worry honey bunch, I didn't mean you." And Kenny was being daring, poking fun at Letterman so soon, but apparently their little talk had resolved things a little.  
  
"I know who you meant."

Kenny, leaning back on Craig once again, turned slightly towards Craig, shifting his position so he was arms crossed, and leaning on Craig as much as able whilst not quite facing him. He was now however, able to meet his gaze.  
  
And changed the subject again, because they were not going to agree on this. Cute and adorable small talk it was.  
  


"So, how's the weather from that height?" 

Kenny watched as Craig struggled between his irritation at his friend being ridiculed yet again, and wanting to acknowledge that yes, Kenny was being adorable _again_. 

_You're doing that on purpose. [Exasperation]_

_Of course I am. [Glee]  
_

And even from here Kenny could feel that Craig's expression was one of...planning something. His actual facial expression was blank, but there was a...glint in his...soul eye. 

"Fine. You brought it on yourself." Craig eventually said, as if Kenny's actions had cemented his fate.

So, as confirmed before, Kenny had _excellent_ reflexes. It had helped him out a lot in the past. But when he felt Craig's fingers reach for the bill of the cap he wore, his body didn't move. Why? He didn't know.  
  
Fully expecting the cap to be stolen, he was slightly confused when Craig simply used it to turn the cap slightly, so the bill pointed to the left on his head.   
  
_"_ Wha-"

His confused thoughts increased at the new sensation of fingers from Craig's other hand on his nape, tucking for a moment under the fabric where his hood sat, before settling on his neck. But just as he was on the cusp of figuring out the pattern of these events, these small movements that made no sense separately, it was too late. The movements were subtle and well coordinated, and up until the point moments _just before,_ he'd somehow not even considered the possibility that Craig might lean down, and using the hand at his neck, pull him into a kiss. 

Turns out possibility had skipped past probability into the realm of absolutely, as in, Craig was absolutely kissing him.  
  
And it was so unlike everything he was used to and expected from a kiss. For a start, he felt the strongest wave of desire he'd ever felt in his entire life. That he hadn't realised was his. This feeling was _his._ And the kiss was very fleeting, but returned once more, and again, until one had become many that traveled the expanse. there were several of them. The hand on the back of his neck loosened, and didn't push, didn't force, but was firm in holding Kenny in place. Slow, gentle presses, confident but careful, determined but soft. Each one was unique. One pulled back slightly, but lingered, hovering just on the threshold of touching, and then returned, barely needing to close the space between touch and kiss. Another was slightly deeper, almost nudging in nature, but not to a level that demanded anything in return, just an insistence of its existence. As if Kenny could even deny it. And then a few chose to gently pepper smaller versions of themselves all over Kenny's lips. Some to the corners, or more to the upper lip. Almost insuring no part was left unkissed.   
  
And before Kenny could even comprehend, never mind reciprocate, it was over. It had been both enticing and fleeting.

Very fucking fleeting in fact. The fingers gently stroking up into the back of his hair before removing themselves were just as fleeting.

And was that his brain short circuiting? Why yes, he believed it was. 

There was a quiet chuckle, and then Craig spoke. 

"You're blushing. Cute."

And cool as anything, Craig pulled gently on the bill of the hat, readjusting it to face forward on Kenny's head once more. 

"It suits you." Was all that Craig offered, before leaving Kenny to his short-circuiting with a very clear and obvious smirk on his features. Because he knew how Kenny was feeling, and the bastard had known he was going to leave Kenny with that from the beginning, even before Kenny had starting 'acting adorable again'. The cuteness had been an excuse. And Kenny might have been mockingly fuming, were it not for one simple fact.

Kenny's brain was broken currently. As in blue screen of death kind of broken. And it took Kenny several minutes and his brain's equivalent of a system reboot (because when all else fails, turn it off and back off again.) before Kenny was able to even comprehend what had just happened.   
  
  


**Diagnostics**

Pulse: Extremely High

Brain: Critical Failure. 

Facial temperature indication: Very High, red zone indication

Chemical balance: Seratonin high. Dopamine very high. 

Vocal capability: Low. Defaulting to emergency limited vocabulary

"Fuck...." Kenny breathed. And here Kenny was barely able to function after one simple kiss. 

_Doing okay? [Smug]_

Oh good. Brain functionality was back. And with it he felt sensations of smugness, of satisfaction, of possessiveness. 

Craig seemed pretty pleased with himself now didn't he? 

And fuck, Kenny couldn't even be mad. He was more embarrassed than anything. A lengthy list of sexual experiences under his belt, including and not limited to numerous kisses and far less chaste activities, and it had done fuck all to stop him blushing like a young virgin teen when it came to getting kissed by Craig.  
  
Ah dammit, he _was_ becoming Kyle.

Well that was just great. Kenny's future held great moments of embarrassment mixed with brain freezes. Those kisses, as fantastic as they had been, had been relatively innocent in nature. And it had broken him. Fuck knows what he'd be like going forward with other activities.  
  
The rules weren't the same as he'd always known dammit. It did not usually feel that good to get kissed! Was it a soulmate thing? Was Craig exceptionally talented?   
  
To himself, quietly, he hoped it was both. Then the results would be compounded.  
  
And Kenny was willing to sacrifice overthinking for more of...that.   
  


* * *

Eventually, the crowd of people had gathered.   
  
Eventually, Kenny had calmed down, returned to his group, and had discussed who was using what.  
  
Eventually, he was able to put being kissed to the back of his mind, or at least park it momentarily in the recesses of his mind whilst he sorted who would be taking smoke grenades, who would be taking flash bangs (he loved Leo but there was no point wasting his supply on giving him some) and wishing for the first time in his life that Cartman was here so he could ask him if he needed a gun or if he got his own, as they were starting soon and he didn't want to be sorting out guns during the match.   
  
  
The turnout of people was a LOT bigger than yesterday, so they had opened up more of the fields. Which would put Kenny at a disadvantage, seeing as he worked close range. Oh well, he'd have to make sure his sneak game was top notch.  
  
And somehow, despite them being enemies twenty four hours ago, the two groups, both Stan's and Craig's, had gravitated towards one another.  
  
It had started with Clyde recognising Leo, which had brought Tweek, and before they knew it, they had all gathered, and then separated out into pairs through natural conversation.   
  
Leo and Letterman were a little further back in the crowd, but close enough for Kenny to hear Leo's surprise and happiness when he learned that Letterman too, was a secret otaku. Well, that's not exactly how the conversation went, but basically, they were both into anime and those weird body pillows. Okay, so they hadn't said THAT either, but Kenny was finding it difficult to be too nasty about Letterman's hobbies without inadvertently insulting Leo's, and it was fucking HARD not to.  
  
"Have you seen 'The disastrous life of Saiki K?'"  
"Psh, seen Saiki K... Here, ring this number on your phone. It's mine."  
  
And a few moments later, an obnoxious, Japanese sounding [ringtone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFp7NPIYWtY&ab_channel=Animusics) blared.   
  
"Ah! I love it! I love Shun! He's my favourite character!"  
  
Dammit, Letterman was getting too damn friendly with Leo. And that was the sneakiest way to give someone your number. Kenny was shocked Letterman had come up with it honestly. And he was shocked he hadn't planted a fist into Letterman's stomach yet, but today was FULL of surprises it seemed.   
  
_Don't punch Clyde.  
  
I make no promises. I'm working extremely, extremely hard to respect your wishes, honest, but every man has his limit. _  
  
Looking to his right, Kyle and Tweek were also deep in conversation. About coffee of all things. Something about french vanilla. And he was in good company. Kyle was a coffee snob, hence the dismissing instant coffee. Plus Kyle would look at him, and then say something to Tweek, and then Tweek would look over. It would make him mighty suspicious, if he didn't then hear the words "instant coffee" and see the look of disgust on Tweek's face.   
  
Like he could have afforded to be picky. It was instant coffee, or no coffee. The choice was obvious.  
  
 _Agreed.  
  
And for that sweetheart, you can have some lovely mind affection. _  
  
Kenny almost gaped when he saw Cartman and that kid with the crutches talking. Man he really needed to find out his name.  
  
 _Jimmy  
  
_ _Thank you mind Google._  
  
  
So...Jimmy kept gesturing to the gun that Cartman had clearly purchased. The gun with the orange tip. And Cartman was looking over at him murderously.  
  
Oh shit.   
  
Whoops. He was hoping Cartman wasn't gonna find out about that until they were back home at least. Now he'd have to listen to Cartman bitch about it.   
  
  
Still, Cartman had gone sniper, and Jimmy seemed fully in the middle of an explanation that Cartman was listening very intently too, as he glanced from Jimmy to his newly purchased sniper rifle. Kenny was probably safe for now.  
  
And Stan and Token, well that was an interesting one. Or not really, he was just being polite. It was fucking boring in fact. They were discussing technology and stocks. What the hell, he didn't even know Stan was into that. They were currently discussing the fact that 'Apple's latest chips were top of the range in current chip availability, but their lack of innovative ideas has lost them a few points'. Yawn.   
  
Stocks were rich man's gambling, under all the 'strategy' and 'seeking trends'. You put your money on a horse (in this case Apple stocks) and instead of watching it race, you made sure it didn't have a limp leg, and that it jumped high enough, and wasn't _too_ daring, but didn't sit there and do nothing either.   
  
_Cynical, but true.  
  
Yup. That's my autobiography title.   
  
Not 'Release the baby?'_  
  
 _Fuck you Craig  
  
Didn't realise you were an exhibitionist..._  
  
  
And Craig, well.....  
  
Kenny was currently leaning against him again. Not in an obvious way, but if Craig moved right now, Kenny would probably lose balance.  
  
Hey, what could he say? Being close was fucking _nice.  
  
_ Craig's attention was currently divided between occasionally contributing to Token and Stan's conversation, and conversing with Kenny/contributing to Kenny's thoughts as he thought about their friends.  
  
  
Aaaand Kenny was also debating the merits of subtly sliding his arm under Craig's jacket and around his waist, and whether it was worth the potential questions that would come from it. And he could claim it was because he was cold.   
  
But it was summer, so he wasn't sure that would really fly...  
  
He could claim it was a defensive move, that he was psyching the enemy (Craig) out, until they dropped their guard, then BAM!  
  
That wouldn't work. Plus that was only the first gate. He still had to do it, not look awkward doing it, and then hope that Craig was cool with it. Three gates to overcome.  
  
Was it worth the effort?  
  
  
Yes. Yes it was.   
  
  
Okay, back to planning how to best go about this...  
  
Step 1...  
  
And Kenny was instantly distracted as a song popped into his head at those words, and he started singing the [lyrics](https://open.spotify.com/track/6J6RWKCPN5RFKHUKEUFjxS?si=StJIEEBHSVu7kUApdPRQVw) in his head.   
  
_"Step 1: We can have lots of fun_  
 _Step 2: There's so much we can do_  
 _Step 3: It's just you and me_  
 _Step 4: I can give you more_  
 _Step 5: Don't you know that the time has arrived."  
  
_ Thinking on it, those were some terrible steps to actually getting shit done. They were more...reasons to do the thing, like, there was no actual steps in that song whatsoever. Well, maybe dance steps, but no planning steps.  
Still it was catchy.   
  
_"Step by step, ooh, baby, gonna get to yoooou..."_ he started singing quietly.  
  
  
And he heard a sigh.  
  
"Your mind is the noisiest place. You can't even stop yourself getting distracted in it. I have no hope in hell..." The owner of the voice had perfected the art of deep calmness, with a side of quiet and a dash of subtly entertained.   
  
And Kenny jumped as he felt a touch, as an arm snaked under the back of his his hoodie, around to his hip, and pulled Kenny in close.   
  
Ah, so that thing he'd never really done with someone, that was how you did it. Cool. Also fuck. He was thinking so loud that Craig STOLE his idea.   
  
"You were thinking so loud _Clyde_ could have stolen the idea."  
  
"Please don't give Letterman that much credit. It hurts my pride greatly." Kenny complained in an equally quiet tone, finally having the guts to reciprocate the gesture, but not wanting to copy, so instead, snuck his hand under the jacket, and into the back pocket of Craig's jeans. Take that!  
  
"You did it. I'm proud of you."  
  
Kenny glowered at the mockingly amused tone.   
  
"Only because I'm psyching you out. Battle plans."  
  
"And then I let my guard down-"  
  
"-And BAM!"  
  
This was becoming a game of wits and daring now. Craig had set the challenge, had raised the bar. He had kissed Kenny, and then walked off cool-like. That definitely translated to hand in back pocket of jeans.   
  
...Okay so it absolutely didn't, but he was working his way up to it. This wasn't like random flings, he didn't do much of the touchy feely stuff. Well, not clothed anyway...  
  
And holy hells that tickled. Maybe? Sorta? No, it was fine, but fuck-it was _something._ Something he could just about bear.   
  
"I never did get around to asking you something."  
  
If Kenny was a little distracted, it was all on Craig. He was gently alternating between rubbing his thumb up and down against Kenny's side, and making small circles with it. And Kenny was using this as an excellent opportunity to practice both concentrating on the matter at hand, and mind blocking. He was a healthy, experienced teenager, he wasn't going to let Craig know that things like kisses and slight touches were making it hard for him to concentrate on anything else.   
  
"What?"  
  
Craig opened his mouth to answer.  
  
"Hi all! Welcome to Fleeting March airsoft! Can everyone hear me okay?"  
  
Kenny still looked at Craig, who shook his head.   
  
_Later.  
  
_ "Right, I'm gonna make this nice and simple for everyone-"  
  
Kenny half listened. He'd heard these all before, and there wasn't anything new. He was far too focused on Craig's fucking absent minded stroking.  
  
No, wait. Wasn't absent minded. Might have been before, but that was up until the point it had slipped up his shirt and continued motions along bare fucking skin, the movements slightly more ambitious, deviating from simple patterns and repetitions, no longer just a thumb, but utilising all digits and palm, wider, larger movements slowly alternating between a flat hand, and then long fingers drawing designs, sometimes with the tip of the fingers, sometimes with a gentle nails.   
  
Craig left traces of his finger work, in a tingling sensation that eventually faded to make room for newer reincarnations of the feeling on newer areas of skin.  
  
 _Fuck.  
  
_ No, he refused to be turned on by such innocuous motions. It was probably because his hip bones were slightly sensitive to touch and they were occasionally grazed. Or something.  
  
Nothing to do with the fact he'd never done this stuff before. You didn't stroke each other when you fucked. You just...well, fucked. This was a simple show of affection and exploration, almost like figuring out. You didn't need to spend that kind of time figuring someone out that you were going to say goodbye to afterwards.   
  
Kenny glanced at Craig, startled when he saw that Craig was looking at him, with an odd expression he couldn't figure out. Wouldn't stop him trying though. Perplexed? Surprised?  
  
 _Denied affection?  
  
_ Kenny wished he was better at this. This was one of those moments where two or three words wasn't enough to get the complexity of what Craig was saying. Kenny shook his head.  
  
 _Don't worry about it_ he assured Craig.   
  
Whose hand had migrated to Kenny's back, with similar motions, but far more canvas, to allow for wider sweeping motions. Fingers ran up the stretch of his back, along his spine, and dropped back down the spine, sliding along each ridge of his spine, and Kenny involuntarily shivered at the sensation.   
  
This was...intimate, but also casual. It was so confusing. Kenny wasn't usually a tactile person, and now he was starting to think he'd missed out. He and Craig were so similar in some ways, and so fucking different in others. And it was making him curious.   
  
  
What the ever-loving hell was wrong with him, and why did everything remotely affectionate feel so fucking different to the norm?   
  
He thought back, to his many trysts, recalling some of his fonder memories. There hadn't been any sort of gentle touch. Fondling yeah, foreplay, of course. But not...this.   
  
And then felt something from Craig. Like, one feeling trying to overlay on top of another. It felt like when two people speak at the exact same time, and you don't catch either. And Kenny wouldn't have thought anything of it, if the hand on his back hadn't paused for a brief second, becoming nails gently digging into skin.  
  
So Kenny, naturally, poked at the feeling, and felt as they separated out from one another so he could see them.  
  
Amusement. Well, of course. That was apparently Craig's natural state of being when around him. He was after all, just the most amusing thing in existence.   
  
Hmm, not quite amusement. It was more of a...reluctant or strained amusement. Like pretending to laugh at an unfunny joke. So he wasn't being amusing, but Craig wanted him to think he was?  
  
Because the feeling underneath was _Possessive. Jealous. Mine.  
  
_ Because Craig was embarrassed at such dark thoughts, and tried to cover them up. Was it caused by him remembering being with other people, things he'd done with them?  
  
Kenny glanced again at Craig, who had given a heavy inhale, and eventually released as a quick exhale. And the fingernails stopped digging into his back, and continued their motions.  
  
Yeah, thinking about past times. Not his best plan. But, what was the reasoning?   
  
  
Did it bother Craig that he'd slept around so much?  
  
  
He felt Craig suppress laughter at that thought.  
  
  
And then Kenny felt something new. But it wasn't feeling, but it wasn't talking. It was visual. And it was open, inviting him to look.  
  
  
  
So he did.   
  
  
  
*****  
  
 _-the guy's hands reached for Craig's hips, an attempt to speed him up. Craig, after a brief struggle, managed to pin both of the guy's hands above his head with one of his hands, keeping him silent throughout the struggle, until he had entirely pinned the panting boy with his own body, he pressed down to make his point. He wasn't going anywhere, wasn't going to control anything-_  
  
******  
  
 _-Craig dug fingers through hair, before tightening his grip, causing the owner, a lithe looking guy with auburn hair, to hiss at the sensation-_  
  
*******  
 _-And hands crept down, slowly unbuttoning the jeans, pulling the zipper down, reaching down, fingers teasingly slow..-_  
  
********  
  
Fuckfuckfuckfuck!.  
  
  
Kenny knew what this was, what he was watching.  
  
And he'd never been the possessive sort, but fuuuck he didn't want to watch people do those things with Craig.  
  
Okay, so it 100% didn't bother Craig that he'd slept around, because Craig wasn't a sit at home and wait for prince charming kinda guy. Craig was...experienced.  
  
 _Apology.  
  
_

And predictably, even though Kenny knew that's what Craig had been trying to show him, as an explanation on _why_ , he couldn't stop the pang of jealousy. It was weird. As if, any other person, he'd share with anyone. He wasn't possessive. People could have anyone they wanted.  
  
  
But not Craig.   
  
  
Kenny felt like a dick for even thinking it, but he wanted to be the only one to do those kinda of things with Craig. Even if thinking about the idea of it probably wasn't appropriate just before a session of airsoft. Damn fucking bad timing.  
  
Wasn't that just a kicker? Being in a public place, where they were surrounded by people, and Craig's fingers were trailing up his back and around, then along and down his ribs and lingering on his hipbone, before almost daringly following the outline of the top of his jeans. Almost as if following Kenny's thoughts, the tone of the affectionate movement had shifted slightly. Still affectionate at its core, but there were...hints of suggestion.  
  
Kenny really want to be arrested for public indecency. He was also pretty sure he wasn't currently thinking with his logical brain.   
  


_Suggestive. Tempted_

  
Oh _good_. Craig was on board with the whole 'likely to get arrested' plan. _Excellent_ that they were on the same page.   
  
Kenny wondered if Craig received SARCASM SARCASM when he thought things like that. Although it was probably what he was thinking in a sarcastic tone.   
  


_Yup.  
  
  
_ "That one actually sounded like you." Kenny murmured, proud that he was getting better at this, and relieved he was able turn this train of thought into a different station that wouldn't end with him going into the first round aroused.  
  
The fingers continued to trace invisible lines, the tips of the fingers now skirting under the top of his jeans, and Kenny wondered when the hell they were going to be done talking so he could end this oh so delicious torture upon his willpower.   
  
"Right! So, people on the left, Red team. People on the right, Blue team!"  
  
Oh thank fuck!   
  
Kenny let out a breath that was ever so slightly shaky, and refused to look directly at the culprit that had caused his flusternation.   
  
_Flusternation doesn't mean what you think it does.  
  
_ Kenny just flipped Craig his middle finger, pulling (reluctantly away) from their position to grab for a coloured band. Great. Full sentences were so few, and he happened to hear the one that was Craig being a pedantic asshole.   
  
So they'd been separated into teams this time, and she'd said something about left side being red, right side being blue. Well, he was on right side, so fair e-  
  
Hang on. Did that mean...  
  
Their two groups were all on the same team.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Kenny pulled his headgear off as the final shout went.  
  
And that ladies, gentleman and the fine people who sit between and beyond, is how you play airsoft.   
  
Team Blue had obviously won by leaps and bounds, and the game modes had been fun as fuck. There were a few he'd not played before, most he recognised, but some had been a novel experience.   
  
The contested cap had passed back and forth between games, often stolen, sometimes given.   
  
'Statues' 'Russian spies' and a surprise round of 'No teams, last person standing wins!' He'd both enjoyed and gotten revenge on that last one, for multiple things.  
  
Once again, he had found himself holding a gun to Craig's head. And to be fair to Craig, he'd found a clever hiding place between the pallets stored in one of the buildings. There was space to slip between, and the centre had space to move and snipe at people from. Except Kenny had watched and seen people taken out, so had devised a clever way to circumvent the pallets and gain access to the centre.   
  
And he'd had Craig right where he wanted him, and managed to keep his thoughts neutral enough for Craig to not suspect a thing. At least not until it was too late and he was staring down the barrel of his left hand pistol (the right he'd stored so he could climb some of the areas one handed)  
  
And Craig hadn't fought him this time, no leg sweep or pinning games. And yeah, once again Kenny was breaking the rules pulling his headgear off when in the arena, but fuck the rules. But that hadn't been his proudest moment.   
  
No, his proudest moment had been pulling off Craig's head gear, retrieving the cap Craig had managed to wrangle from him in an earlier game, and then kissing Craig. He hadn't overcomplicated it, kept it simple and quick. More than a peck, less than a linger.   
  
"Thanks doll." He'd quipped with a wink, before slipping out of the pallet space. And his elation had fuelled him for the rest of the game. So yeah, he hadn't taken Craig out of the game, but he _could have_ if he'd wanted to. And that was somehow better than actually doing it. Although Craig's expression of honest surprise after he had kissed him had been the crowning jewel. He liked it when he was able to chase away the blank deadpan. It was a fucking achievement, and dammit, he was fucking _proud._  
  
  
Statues game mode had been his moment where he'd finally felt some catharsis. Where in order to release your teammates, you had to shoot them. And boy, did he take great joy in stumbling upon Letterman. He could have left him stuck there, but the temptation to shoot him had been too much, and ignoring Letterman's instruction of "In the shoe" (One of the least painful places), he went straight for the knuckle. The knuckle on the finger used as his trigger finger no less. And oh, the cries of swearing and outrage were enough to carry him through the rest of the game with a happy grin.  
  
They'd all had their asses kicked when it turned out Token had been the Russian spy. He'd managed to take out two thirds of the team, and no one had realised it was him. Kenny had respect for that level of intrigue. So it was turning out that Craig had some mostly cool friends. Mostly.   
  


The two groups had bonded during their games, previous animosity quickly replaced by camaraderie when they'd realised they were on the same side. And Kenny had never realised how much he appreciated having someone who knew what they were doing who had his back. Also, once he'd learned that Jimmy, the guy with crutches, was the sniper that had essentially taken down most of their team yesterday, he was suddenly very thankful that he was on their side. That guy was _lethal_. 

And the gang was clearly used to a system. Jimmy, Token and Clyde would hang back and 'protect base' and snipe people. Tweek and Craig would venture out and get in close and personal. Occasionally they’d circle round into different roles if someone needed a breather, or wanted in on the close up action. Regardless of other teams they joined, that was their system, and the teamwork was _astounding_. 

No wonder they'd not stood a chance yesterday. Kenny was the only veteran player, and Kyle had picked it up quickly, but was still inexperienced. Compared to five regulars with a team formation, they didn't stand a chance. 

Kenny might have been irked that it was Craig’s team that clinched the victory for them, and not his own, were it not for one little fact.  
  
  
He and Craig worked _incredibly_ well together. They were seamless, and the fact that they didn't need to speak to communicate was just an excellent bonus. Add in a close range shotgunist like Tweek, and they had a beaaaautiful system between them. 

Kenny enjoyed their competitions, but his and Craig’s teamwork? Out of this world. He wished all of his games could be that fluid. Because Kyle was right. A lot of people turned up just to shoot people, and Kenny could totally get that. But it was teamwork that usually came through, how well they worked together. 

  
And now, they were all done, they would be heading back to shower, get dressed, and then head out to Denver's response to the question "Clubbing?".  
  
Fuck, a shower would be so _goooood_ after that game. It wasn't muddy, but the heat had dried the ground, and everyone was absolutely covered in dust.   
  
The group had agreed to meet outside the motels after a couple of hours. Would give people time to grab showers, get changed. And this time, Kenny had followed the SUV back, ignoring Cartman's complaints about the SUV, about how much Kenny sucked, about how he had managed to exchange his gun. Leo, who was sitting next to Kyle, was showing him photos he'd taken of the day.   
  
Stan was quiet for most of the ride, but that made sense. No one was arguing, no one had a problem, and Stan was taking the opportunity to enjoy the peace and quiet. And it had been a long day.   
  
And Kenny only felt slightly bad for jumping into the shower before Kyle.   
  
_"You light me up inside, like the 4th of July, whenever you're around, I always seem to smile, and people ask me how, well you're the reason why, I'm dancing in the mirror n' singing in the shower._ " Kenny sang at full volume as he showered.   
  
"Your music taste sucks Kinny!" Kenny heard Cartman from his and Kyle's room. Interesting. Why the fuck was he here? Shouldn't he be like...showering in his own room?  
  
"Your mom sucks, but you don't hear anyone in South Park complaining. Guess she's good for something." Kenny shouted back through the door. 

"Ay! Fuck you Kinny!"  
  
"I'm good thanks!"  
  
"Cartman! Stop fucking antagonising Kenny and tell me why the hell you're here." The voice of reason, aka Kyle, spoke.  
  
"Do I have to care about this conversation or can I fucking go back to my shower?" Kenny called.  
  
"Continue to use all the hot water. We'll be out here talking when you're done."  
  
"Cool, thanks baby." And Kenny did just that.  
  
Eventually, he left the sanctity of the shower, and headed over to his bed, rubbing his hair dry roughly with a towel, which he then promptly threw at Cartman's head.   
  
"Ay!!"  
  
"Why are you still here?" Kenny asked, demonstrating his utter lack of modesty as he began to search towel-less for his clothes. Kyle, rolling his eyes, headed into the shower.   
  
"That lameass Clyde came looking for Leo, and Stan said we'd make ourselves scarce. I need to use your shower, because apparently the two love birds couldn't wait an hour or two."  
  
Kenny stopped searching.   
  
"What do you mean 'love birds'?"  
  
"They've basically been hanging around each other for the whole day. And they're totally the types to be totally gay." Kenny sighed, reminding himself that it was Leo's life. He needed to focus on finding his shirt. It wasn't a smart shirt, but layered properly, he could pull off something less 'airsoft' and something more 'stylish'. And drinking was off the table for him, but hey, dancing was always on the table.   
  
"And what happened to Stan?"  
  
"Saw the black guy, decided to talk with him."  
  
"Token." Kenny corrected.   
  
"I mean, if you want to call him the token black guy, sure."  
  
"No, I mean his _name_ is Token. Stop calling him black guy. Craig will end up punching you. And you'll deserve it."  
  
"That's another thing. You and that Craig guy."  
  
Kenny found a pair of skinny jeans he'd brought with him. They'd work.   
  
"What about it?"  
  
"Like, what's your deal? First you beat the shit out of each other, then you're hanging out like buddies, and then you're kissing."  
  
Kenny dropped the jeans.   
  
"Ah, you saw that huh?"  
  
Cartman scoffed.  
  
"Of course I did. Wasn't exactly subtle. You two a thing now?"  
  
"Sort of, I guess, yeah."  
  
"Man, sucks to be you. Long distance relationships suck."  
  
"Yeah, thank you for that reminder." Kenny snapped, hating that he'd been forcefully reminded of the looming inevitability. And neither of them had talked about it. What would happen, what they'd do.   
  
They needed to talk about it.   
  
Cartman shrugged.   
  
"Just saying it how it is. Like me and that chick Heidi. We tried long distance, and she got way too clingy, always wanting to message and visit. Fuck, it was annoying."  
  
"Jesus Cartman, you guys were ten when you dated. And you did long distance for two weeks whilst she was visiting family. And you fucked her right up. She's still a bitch thanks to your handiwork."  
  
"I didn't do shit, not my fault she ended up crazy."  
  
Kenny didn't wanna rehash this, but felt like he owed it to Kyle. Kyle had liked Heidi, but Heidi had only had eyes for Cartman, who had fucked her up beyond all belief. Sometimes Cartman could be a manipulative fuck.   
  
"I'm just saying, I'm not basing my _adult_ relationship on the one you had when you were ten."  
  
"You can deny it all you want Kinny, but we all know that long distance doesn't work. Everyone knows it."  
  
Kenny shrugged, getting dressed. Sometimes there was no arguing with Cartman. He was great at leading you down a rabbithole until you didn't know which way was up. And yeah, they were long time friends, but it was dangerous to let Cartman into your head. Fuck, he knew that.   
  
So why the hell had he let him?  
  
The door lock clicked, and Kyle came out, rubbing his hair gently with a towel.   
  
"Ooooh, I wanna see it Kaaahl!"  
  
"Shut the fuck up Fatass. So fucking glad I know what yours say so I can avoid fucking my life up for the rest of my life." And with a finesse that came from shooting hoops, he balled up the towel and threw it on Cartman's head. It hit him with a thwump, and Kenny suddenly regretting not putting more effort to his own throw, as that had looked far more effective.   
  
"-Fucking jew ass bitch."  
  
"Go use the shower, before I change my mind." Kyle thumbed at the open door, and after a few choice words, one of which was predictably 'jew', Cartman headed into the bathroom.   
  
And Kyle lay on his bed, damp hair tangled beneath him.  
  
"I fucking hope we grow out of this "fatass" "Jew" thing. It's been fucking years. I feel like we're doing it out of habit than anything."  
  
"You can stop anytime." Kenny pointed out.   
  
"Yeah, but then he _wins."  
  
_ "You realise that's why he picks on you the most? Because you give him what he wants."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
Sounds of the shower starting for the third time this evening began, and Kyle sighed lightly as he stared at the ceiling.   
  
"You gonna lie round in a towel all night? pretty sure the club will have some kind of dress code."   
  
"Mm, I'll get dressed in a minute, feeling achy. My left shoulder got shot to shit."  
  
"Lemme see."  
  
Kyle turned, and Kenny whistled. There were welts all along the upper left hand side of Kyle body.  
  
"Were you lit up or something?"  
  
"Someone didn't realise I was out, got a little overzealous. That or he was a massive sadist."  
  
"You in major pain?"  
  
"Nah, just ache. I'll just be careful tonight. Besides, alcohol will take the edge off."  
  
Kenny wasn't going to pout. Even if he did want to drink.   
  
Kyle flipped onto his front, focusing more on Kenny.   
  
"So, how's things with you and boytoy?"  
  
"Really good. Surprisingly good. Uh..we've been talking."  
  
"Not all you've been doing."  
  
"Jesus fucking Christ, did _everyone_ see it?"  
  
Kyle shrugged.  
  
"You were pretty public about it. Didn't think you were really hiding it. Why, who else saw?"  
  
"Cartman. Then he started bitching about long distance not working."  
  
"Fuck him. He doesn't know shit about relationships."  
  
"He's got more experience than I have of em." Kenny resisted flopping down onto his bed. There was a good chance he wouldn't get up for a long time if he did that.  
  
"Bullshit."  
  
"It's fucking true. I haven't had a relationship. And I'm not counting Kelly or Tammy. I'm thinking more something that lasts more than a couple of days."  
  
"If Kelly and Tammy don't count, Heidi definitely doesn't. We're eighteen dude, no one expects us to have the answers to relationships."  
  
  
"So, what the hell do you think I should do?"  
  
"Talk with Craig. See where you both stand. Go from there. Maybe you stick it out, maybe you break it off. Maybe it was just a weekend thing."  
  
"That's oddly casual of you Mr. 'I wanna wait for my darling soulmate before I do anything.'"  
  
Kyle sighed heavily.   
  
"I'm thinking of the reality of the situation. We're going home tomorrow, they're going home tomorrow. There's ways to figure this out, but it's gonna suck in the meantime."  
  
"Never thought I'd see the day when you and Cartman agree."  
  
"I'm not agreeing with him, just...well, you should have that conversation. Don't get too attached to the reality of the weekend. It won't be the reality once we leave it."  
  
"I get it Kyle. I'll finish dressing, and I'll..."  
  
He'll what? He didn't even know.

* * *

Eventually, Kenny wandered back to his truck. He still had a little time, and well, Cartman and Kyle had brought the reality of the situation to the forefront of his mind. He unlocked the driver door, and got in. It was silent and calm for a moment, and Kenny appreciated it, but that wasn’t why he’d come back. He wasn't looking for silence. He thought too much in silence. He needed noise. 

He fiddled with his phone and connected it up, before the relieving sounds of music came through. And Kenny leaned back in his chair, eyes closed, and just listened, unwinding from the day. Fuck, he needed to unwind from the entire weekend. He stretched out fully, almost tempted to lie down on the seats, but then he'd stay here for far too long. 

He was thinking about things way too much, and he just wanted to chill out, then get some food, and go to a bar and get drunk. That sounded like a perfect end to the day.

But fuck, he couldn’t get drunk. He was the driver. Kenny leaned forward and pressed his head against the top of the steering wheel. If he was out alone and drunk, he’d absolutely risk it, but he wasn’t going to when the others were in the car, no way.

“Why does life have to be so unfair?” He confided to the steering wheel. Surprisingly, it had nothing useful to offer as a solution. That was okay though. His love for the truck spanned beyond their need to communicate.   
  
_Such a romantic_

Kenny lifted his head at that thought that wasn't his own.

And almost jumped out of his skin when he saw that someone was leaning on the passenger side door. Kenny reached over, and unlocked the door, instantly recognising the person. Craig shifted and Kenny pushed the door open, an obvious invitation, which Craig took as he sat down, shutting the door behind him.

For a moment, neither of them said a thing, listening to the soft music. And then Kenny was awkwardly sliding through to the back section of the truck.   
  
"Come sit back here, more room."  
  
And Kenny was slightly jealous of how Craig managed it with more finesse than he had.  
  
"What exactly do we need more room for?" The flat tone contrasted with the suggestive feelings. And making out in the back of his truck sounded like a great activity in Kenny's mind. But Kyle's words were still in his mind.  
  
"Hey...Craig. What happens tomorrow?"  
  
Dammit, he should've chosen making out. Was it too late to change his answer?  
  
"We both go home." Was Craig's eventual reply.   
  
"And then what?"  
  
Craig remained silent. As did Kenny. They didn’t really need to say anything. They were both thinking the same thing really. 

  
Eventually, Kenny did break the silence.

“So, where’s this place you’re taking us to?” Kenny tried to keep his tone light hearted. Craig opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling of the truck.

“Small talk, huh?” He murmured as a reply.

Kenny shrugged. No one said he was good at this. He was the king of denial, and he wouldn’t deny that. Which was probably a paradox of sorts. 

“Clyde’s probably gonna take us to The Church. It’s a club in town he likes to go to.”

“Huh. Cool.”  
  


“Mm.”

Silence.

“Hey, fun fact. It’s 3 and a half hours from here to South Park.”

“‘Fun’ fact huh?”

More silence. Jesus fuck this was hard. Kenny sighed.

“Look, dude, I...don’t know what you want me to say or do. It’s not like either of us can magically live elsewhere. Plus, I’m probably heading off to college soon.”

“Which college did you go with?”

“I dunno. Picked a few good sounding ones.”

Craig scoffed.

“You sound so invested.”

“I dunno. It’s the thing to do. And it gets me out of South Park.”

Craig glanced over at him.

“Don’t like it there?”

“It was okay I guess. A lot of weird shit happens there, people are a little cuckoo. Plus, I dunno, I kinda wanna see what's out there beyond ‘redneck town’. 

Craig was silent for a moment. Neither had breached into ‘mindspeak’, happy to let the lingering forlorn feeling they both shared sit there between them. And their moments of speaking face to face were few and far between anyway.

Kenny could feel a niggle coming from Craig though. Something he was debating, but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to even bring up. Kenny gently probed, but the niggle disappeared at his attempt to carefully inspect it.

“What about you? What are your plans?”

“Same. College.”

“Know where you wanna go?”

“I don’t really care to be honest.”

Kenny huffed out a laugh.

“We make quite the pair.” Craig smirked at this. Kenny, despite the tone, was taking a small amount of solace in the fact that Craig was being open in his expressions. 

“You’re not the only one who wants to leave their hometown behind them.”

“You’re telling me Denver ISN’T amazing and fantastic?"

“It's okay. There's more out there."

  
"Yeah...I fucking get it man. Like, I wanna see so much of this world, and this feels like such a tiny corner of it, ya know? I need to start actually planning where I wanna go, what I wanna see. When I get back home maybe."

_  
  
Don’t go._

Kenny’s gaze jumped to Craig’s at that declaration.

“Ignore me.” Was all Craig supplied.

Kenny really didn't want to, but Craig was being so...closed off. Usually, his feelings were unabashedly pouring out. Now, it seemed as if he was limiting it to talking as much as possible. It felt kinda...lonely.

Kenny felt a sensation on his arm, and looked down. Craig’s hand had moved to it, and he was currently stroking his thumb back and forth slowly.

“I...don’t wanna make this any harder than it needs to be. It's easier if I do this.”

_I'm sorry._

Kenny felt a lump in his throat at that admission. He understood perfectly. He got it. Why tempt themselves with something they couldn’t _really_ have? Maybe they’d figure something out, but at the moment, there wasn’t really a solution or an answer. Craig had every right to pull away from him, to close off emotionally, to lock him out. Hell, it made perfect sense. Absolutely perfect sensical sense. So much sense.   
  
So, it wasn't that Craig was holding back, so much as he'd slammed the door and locked it.  
  
  
No, it made sense.  
  


He wasn’t crying was he? Quick, distraction.

Fuck, he couldn’t think of one.

Gods above, he wanted to get drunk so fucking badly. This fucking sucked. And he was trying to hold it all together, because if he lost it, then he was being that selfish guy that was fucking over Craig.

Kenny settled for turning away, out the door window.

“Nah, it’s fine dude, I get it. It makes sense right?”

How he was holding his voice steady he didn’t know, but he was doing a fucking amazing job of it.

“Kenny.”

“Hey, at least we get to hang out tonight. That’ll be fun and shit.”

Keep it together McCormick. You can totally do this. Don’t fuck this up. Will away the prickling sensation in the corner of your eyes, no sweat. Everything was fine. You are the champion of getting through this, and you aren''t going to let something as stupid as eye liquid beat you.

He dug his fingernails into the sleeve of his hoodie. For support.

Why did he taste blood?

Oh..shit yeah, his lip. he should really stop chewing on it. That would explain why he was hurting. This was all lip pain. 

He would not fall apart. He wouldn't. Not here, not for something like this. 

And suddenly, Kenny stopped thinking entirely. It was a familiar sensation, with a familiar cause.

His body was frozen as the heat of another body enveloped his back, circling like two arms around him.

Or those were actually two arms around him.

He felt the grip tighten and pull him close, and a voice near his ear.

“Don’t cry. Please.”

And fuck if that voice didn’t sound as broken and miserable as Kenny felt. And hearing that in Craig's voice hurt most of all.

And Kenny turned around, looked at Craig, and threw himself into returning the hug.

_I’m so sorry Craig. I'm sorry for being a fucktard. I can’t even keep myself together long enough to wait until I’m alone before doing this. I’m sorry I’m making this worse for you. I'm sorry I can't hold my shit together._

Kenny continued thinking apologies as he buried his head in the space between Craig’s shoulder and neck. 

Why was it all so hard? Why couldn’t it be easy for once? Why couldn’t he fucking stop crying?

They just sat there, with tightened grips, as if letting go would cause the world to fall apart. And Kenny didn't want to be dramatic, but he was suspicious that it would happen if he did let go. And judging from the way that Craig clung to him, fingers digging into his back tightly, maybe he felt the same. And they continued to almost desperately cling to one another. If they let go, everything would shatter, would be over. 

As long as Kenny didn't let go, he could keep Craig. 

A sudden stop in the music filled the air. 

And then Kenny’s ringtone started [playing](https://open.spotify.com/track/1m6LYAWyCdRjpIr3ttANsr?si=47kXmjAISn-LDyA6232hJg). He ignored it. He knew who it was by the ringtone.

And then Craig’s phone started vibrating in his pocket. Craig ignored it.

And Kenny’s started ringing [again](https://open.spotify.com/track/5vLh40xCE0Hl0LJk5Sad1A?si=iTPNb2ZRQUOb10QVYPJEnQ). Different ringtone.

And Craig's.

Not for the first time that weekend, Kenny wanted to scream.

Kenny's phone rang [again](https://open.spotify.com/track/4is3oF4FlWmedh3TK6Ke7z?si=4eiqlRLqSbuVeSYoi74agQ), discordant with Craig's ringtone. It's like these stupid ringtones were mocking him.  
  


Slowly, Kenny loosened his arms from around Craig.   
  


And he let go. 

  
  
  
_  
  
_

  
  
  
  
  



	7. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “F..f...fuck no. Bro-bonding sounds like something you do in a bdsm club.”
> 
> “..Tweek? Please dude.”
> 
> “I’m not bro bonding with you man.”
> 
> "Craig?"
> 
> "Fuck off."

* * *

  
  


##  **CHAPTER SEVEN**

##  **Liar**

* * *

  
Chapter Seven Song (Kenny’s): NOTD, Nina Nesbitt - Cry Dancing  
Chapter Seven Song (Craig's): The Avett Brothers - The Ballad of Love and Hate  
Chapter Seven Bonus Song (Both): The Classic Crime - Not Done With You Yet

* * *

  
  
Kenny was a big fan of escape when there was no other option.  
  
"Uh, I need to go. Lock her up once you're done, okay?" 

Kenny had always felt that when it came to anything painful, the very best method was the bandaid one. Rip it off quickly, get it over and done with. 

Which was why, for the first time in his entire life since buying the truck, despite his possessiveness and love for that truck, he found himself removing the cap he'd been wearing, tossing it and the truck keys into Craig's lap, grabbing for his phone, and exiting the truck as quickly as possible. 

His phone was still incessantly ringing, and he knew which fucker was currently calling him.

Cartman.

Squeezing his phone tightly, he clicked the answer icon. 

"Fucking what?" he spat, still furiously swiping at his eyes as he paced away from the truck.

_"About fucking time you answered Kinny. Everyone's ready, where the fuck are you?_

Kenny felt like he wanted to die. 

"I'm fucking coming man, Jesus fuck!" 

_"Man you sound super fucking pissy all of a sudden"_

"Fuck you!"

And Kenny hung up. He slowed his pace, coming to a standstill. He wanted to blame Cartman for this, for getting into his head, 

Cartman was right in one way, he was acting pissy, and he needed to not do that. So, he would have to play cheerful, happy Kenny. Somehow.

Fuck he wished he had more time to prepare. But everyone was ready to go. Time was moving towards. Fuck time.  
  
“Dude.”  
  
Kenny jumped at the hand on his shoulder. Stan stood there, looking at him with a look of concern.  
  
“You okay? You’re just standing there staring.”  
  
“Ah..”  
  
 _C’mon, I can do this “Ah yeah, I’m fine, just really out of it.”_ _  
_  
But he paused, couldn’t force the lies out of his mouth. He wasn't ready, he'd not prepared nearly enough  
  
“I’m...not okay.” He eventually admitted miserably. Stan nodded, as if he’d known that all along.  
  
“You wanna talk about it?”  
  
Kenny shook his head.  
  
“Kenny, you trust me right?”  
  
“Yeah dude. Probably one of the few I do.”  
  
“Cool. I’ll drive tonight then.”  
  
“What-wait I-”  
  
“Look. I’m not an idiot. Something has been on your mind all day. And that’s okay if you don’t wanna share it, but don’t pretend you’re all okay when you’re not. That’s a dark downward spiral into something very bad. If you can’t confide in me, talk with Kyle, Leo, fuck, even Cartman if that’s how you wanna make a call. Just don’t keep it all bottled up. We’re here, you know?”  
  
Kenny offered the first genuine, tentative small small he had since their conversation had begun.  
  
“Dude, you don’t need to drive, it sucks that you can’t-”  
  
“Kenny, it’s cool dude. It’s not like it’s the only time I’ll ever be able to drink. And I get the feeling it’ll mean more to you tonight than it will me. As long as you trust me with her that is.” And Stan gestured with his head towards where they could just about see the truck.  
  
“Dude, you’re the only one out of all of us, myself included, that I trust with her.” Stan slapped him on the back.  
  
“Right. Let’s head off then.”  
  
“Wait, I need to get the keys…” That was going to be an awkward conversation...  
  
Yeah, why did he do that? Not his best idea.  
  
Stan looked back at Kenny, twirling the keys around his finger.  
  
“Where the...how did you...what the fuck?”   
  
Stan looked towards the other group, where all of them had gathered, including Craig.   
  
  
“I told you. I’m not an idiot Kenny. And I have eyes.”   
  
  
Cool. So Stan had seen as well.  
  
Not that it mattered anymore.  
  
  
  


* * *

So.  
  
  
  
So....  
  
  
  
So, tonight hadn't gone well so far. Kenny shouldn't have come out at all. He leaned against the wall of the club, drunkenly trying to figure out where it had all gone wrong.   
  
  
  
When he'd been glad it was dark and hectic in the club, because he'd been both dancing and crying?  
  
  
When he'd almost gotten into another fight at the restaurant?  
  
  
When Letterman had done the worst thing possible?  
  
  
When they'd agreed to go out as a group after airsoft?  
  
  
When he'd decided he needed to start a fight rather than just getting on with his day and ignoring the middle finger he'd been given?  
  
  
When he'd booked their particular Motel, and this particular airsoft base?  
  
  
When he'd asked the group if they wanted to go to airsoft this week?  
  
  
When he'd been born?  
  
  
  
It was probably one of those. Maybe all of them. If he had to say what the defining moment of fucking things up was, it was probably that they'd all decided to go for food first before heading to a club.  
  
And then Kenny had almost committed murder, he'd almost gotten into a fight, he'd stormed out, and now, a few hours later, he was outside the club, still simmering from the crapness of the evening.  
  
  
What was _wrong_ with him?  
  
  
Okay, usually he had a fucking temper, but this was insane. Every _little_ thing had seemed to set him off.  
  
  
And the fight he'd almost gotten into earlier? It had been with Craig.  
  
  
It was only thanks to his two friends that Kenny had calmed down enough, with a combination of Stan (for coming to sit with him in the truck after his big restaurant blowout) and Kyle about an hour ago (for letting Kenny drunkenly bawl into his shoulder for about...twenty minutes outside the club, with lines such as “Why, Leo, why?!” and “He’s not good enough for Leo dammit!” Kyle had interjected with “It’s okay dude...Leo seems pretty happy, it’s fine…”)  
 _  
_  
How had this happened? How had they LET this happen?  
  
He supposed he should have seen the small signs, they had been there if you squinted he supposed, but you know, he'd been BUSY with fucking up his own life to notice  
  
And now he was too late to stop it.  
  
 _  
_Fucking fuck fuck  
  
And he kicked at the wall a few times repeatedly with the flat of his boot. The few people that were outside smoking looked up in concern for a moment, and Kenny had no choice but to stop his abuse of the wall, instead leaning against it once more, exhaling heavily.  
  
  
So, when had it all gone wrong? He would say it was at the restaurant.   
  
  
The meal had started innocently enough. In fact, it was pretty typical behaviour from his friends. Cartman deciding he was gonna be a fat bastard, Stan ordering the burgerest burger stuffed with burger on the menu, Kyle subtly checking food against his sugar levels, Leo idly humming as he checked through the menu, (even though they all knew he’d go for starters and then skip to dessert), Kenny ignoring both the menu and Craig’s presence sitting to his right at the table entirely.  
  
Normal shit.  
  
Although, why Leo had chosen to sit by Clyde was beyond him, especially as it meant he was left having to sit next to the guy he was currently trying to avoid interacting with. It wasn't cool to pine for a person in front of the person after all.   
  
“ _Hell yeah. I worked up a fucking appetite kicking so much ass today. Gonna get everything.”  
_ _  
__“Well there’s a fucking surprise. Excuse me while I keel over with shock.”  
_ _  
__“Shut up Kinny! At least I fucking eat.”  
_ _  
__“And what does it look like I’m about to do right now?”  
_ _  
__“Hopefully pull the massive stick you’ve got up your ass out?”  
_ _  
__Kyle had ignored their banter, and struck up a conversation as he reached to pour himself water.  
_ _  
__“Yeah, sorry, this is normal, ignore them. So, you guys play all the time?”  
_ _  
__“Yeah! It’s kinda like our ‘bro-bonding’ session.” Letterman had cheerfully answered.  
_ _  
__“...”  
_ _  
__“What?"  
  
"I didn't say anything."  
  
"You're making ‘that’ face though”  
_ _  
__“...That’s a stupid name for it. We don’t do that.”_

 _“...Jimmy. Token’s being an asshole to me! You're on my side right?”_ _  
__  
“F..f...fuck no. Bro-bonding sounds like something you do in a bdsm club.”_ _  
__  
“..Tweek? Please dude.”_ _  
__  
“I’m not bro bonding with you man.”  
  
_ _"Craig?"  
  
"Fuck off."  
_ _  
__The table dissolved into laughter at the response. The server had approached them, with a notepad and a pen behind her ear._ _  
__  
“Heyya guys, you know what you’ll be having today?”_ _  
__  
“What’s the largest meal you have?”_ _  
__  
“Fucking fatass…”_ _  
__  
“Don’t make me end you Kinny…”  
  
_ _"You can fucking try."  
_ _  
“Are we doing starters first, or ordering in one go?”  
  
_ _"Starters and drinks makes sense, right?"  
_ _  
“Ugh, I just want dessert.”_ _  
__  
“Clyde. You can’t just eat dessert.”_ _  
__  
“I’m an adult, I can do what I want.”_

 _The server, seeing that this was going to take some time, had let them know they'd come back in a few minutes.  
_ _  
"You do realise it's your own fault when you screw up your football scholarship because you have a shitty diet."  
  
And Leo had spoken up to Clyde's defence, in a pacifying manner.  
_ _  
“To be fair...they have some awesome desserts. And like...twenty flavours of ice cream.  
  
"That's a lot of ice cream.”  
  
"Cartman, I dare you to get all the flavours."  
  
"Gonna cost ya. Put your money where your mouth is."  
  
"Cartman, if you throw up in my truck cos you ate too much, I will use your face to clean it up."  
  
"Yeah well if I decide to throw up, I'm gonna aim for your precious, shitty truck. I still owe you for your gun advice."  
  
"It's your face, man."  
  
"I bet you $10"  
  
"I'll throw in $20."  
  
"Hey, we used to do this kinda shit with Kinny. Fuck, you used to do anything for money back then, poor boy."  
  
"Fuck. You."  
  
"Ay, I'm just telling it like it is."  
  
"Cartman, fucking lay off him."  
  
"Fuck you Jew."  
  
"Fuck you fatass!"  
  
"Not fat you Jersey blooded daywalker!"  
  
"Fuck you! I'm not Jersey blooded!"  
  
"Oh yeah, okay, sure Kyley-B."  
  
"Least my mom's not a whore!"  
  
"Least my mom's not a total BITCH!"  
  
Stan had ignored this, looking to the others, who were watching with partly curious, partly confused expressions  
  
"Totally normal. This is our weird group dynamic."  
  
"What the hell? There's a Cheddar Goldfish flavour ice cream??"  
  
"It's actually pretty good. Denver special."  
  
"In this bet, do I have to have that with the other flavours? Because that sounds mega weak."  
  
"Man, almost wish we were here longer, Denver seems pretty cool. Although we're from a tiny mountain town, so I guess anywhere sounds cool. Wonder if they do tasters of all the flavours?"  
  
"Really fucking obsesssing over ice cream here, aren't we?"  
  
"Stop being a fucking killjoy Kinny. Ice cream is awesome."  
  
_ _Letterman had sighed dreamily.  
_ _  
__“Hell yeah. Honestly, is there anything better in this world than ice cream?”  
_ _  
__Kenny had straightened at those words. Cartman, Kyle and Stan had all gone silent, just watching.  
_ _  
__“I fucking swear, this had better be coincidence…” Kenny growled under his breath.  
_ _  
__“Cake? I think cake might be better. I love cake. " Leo, who clearly hadn't clocked the significance of that line, spoke absentmindedly as he poked at the menu.  
  
And then he'd dropped the menu like he'd been shocked, his eyes looking to his hand all of a sudden. And then to Clyde, who had a deer in the headlights look. Leo and Clyde had slowly lifted up their hands. And in the space between wrist and thumb, they both held up glowing Soulmarks. _ _  
__  
__Silence._ _  
__  
__Kenny sat up ramrod straight.  
  
Stan tensed.  
  
  
"We're.."  
  
  
Kenny twitched.  
  
_

 _“...Guess we’re bro-bonded?”  
_ _  
__  
__Kenny snapped.  
  
_ _  
__“You motherfucker...”  
_ _  
__  
__Kenny had spoken this calmly enough, but Stan knew him well enough to know that wasn’t necessarily a good sign. And Stan was ready.  
  
But Craig was quicker.  
  
Before Kenny had even moved, Craig had grabbed him by the back of his shirt.   
  
  
"Oh that's not gonna end well..." Kyle spoke under his breath to Stan. Stan nodded, watching, ready to step in.  
  
  
"Don't." Craig warned.  
  
And Kenny was in NO mood for this shit, especially from Craig. Craig did not get to shut him out, and then get to fucking control what he could and couldn't do. That wasn't how this shit worked.  
  
"Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me."  
  
"Don't ruin it for them."   
  
And Kenny had moved to quickly stand, but Craig still had hold of his shirt and prevented him from doing so, which incensed the blond beyond all belief.   
  
"Let go." Kenny warned him quietly.   
  
"Gonna leave them alone?"  
  
And this time, when Kenny stood, he was quick enough to slip from Craig. Craig stood afterwards. _

_"So, you give a fuck about this stuff when it's Clyde, huh? Well ain't that fucking sugary sweet of you!“_

_"Don't take your bad mood out on them." Craig sounded calm, but there was a forceful, almost growl to his voice._

_  
"My bad mo-If you wanted to get into a fight, you're going the right fucking way about it." Kenny was in Craig's face at this point. And Kyle had seen the look in Kenny's eyes. Kenny would absolutely start a fight in the restaurant. And Craig wouldn't start the fight with Kenny, but he'd finish it. What was wrong with the two of them? He needed to stop this._   
  
_Kyle had intervened at that point, putting a hand on Kenny's shoulder._   
  
_"Whoah whoah, we don't need to be fighting. Kenny, no one needs to be fighting right now, yeah?"_   
  
_Kenny was ignoring him._   
  
_"Don't do it dude. You'll regret it." And Kyle looked to Stan. Words were not gonna work. And Stan stood, and gently, but firmly pulled Kenny away from Craig._   
  
_"Come on, dude. Let's go outside for some air." Stan said to him. But Kenny wasn't quite done._   
  


_"Fine. I won't touch your precious, perfect Clyde or ruin his happily ever after. You can sit happy knowing that I won't be here to spoil the celebrations. Stay the fuck away from me from now on."_  
  
 _And Kenny had stalked away from their table, and out the main doors._  
  
 _Stan sighed, looking to Kyle._  
  
 _"I'll go stand with him. He could probably do with someone in his corner right now." And Stan glared at Craig, who simply looked up at him with a look that might have bordered on glare territory, if it wasn't Craig._  
  
 _“You guys order up, I’ll be back. Get Mr Pissed off something with chicken. Make mine the burger deluxable, with fries.Make ours to go. I'll be back to grab it."_  
  
 _"Need any help?" Kyle had offered. Stan shook his head._  
  
 _"Nah. Just wanna make sure it isn't a repeat of the Raisins incident."_  
  
 _And like it was a normal, everyday occurrence, Stan headed out to join Kenny._  
  
 _And there was absolute, awkward quiet for a moment, before someone at the table spoke up._  
  
 _“W-w-what happened at Raisins?”_  
  
 _And for all his flaws, Cartman was great for dispelling tension, plus, he had Kenny's back when it came down to it, so instead of relaying the actual tale, he had spun an entirely new yarn, designed to entertain and lighten the mood._  
  
 _“Ah it was hilarious! So, Raisins is like this food place, totally hot chicks-”_  
  
 _And the group had slowly eased into laughter and further conversation._  
  
 _Leo had quietly apologised to Clyde (“Kenny’s lovely, the best, honest. He’s just...hot tempered. He don’t mean nothin’ by it.”)_  
  
  
 _And one person at the table didn’t converse at all. Just leaned with his chin in his hand, looking towards the exit.  
  
_ _  
__And Kenny had spent the rest of the meal in the truck with Stan, cooling down while they ate their food ‘to go’. Well, Stan had eaten his anyway.  
  
Kenny had ignored his, and instead relayed the entire situation to Stan.  
  
Stan had advised him to maybe avoid the dark haired teen for the evening.   
  
Kenny had agreed.  
  
_ _  
_  
And since they'd arrived at the club known as The Church, (which turned out to be aptly named) Clyde had been giving Kenny a wide berth. A wise move. One that Kenny was also doing with Craig. And Craig with him.

And now he was outside, looking up at the sky, watching the tendrils of smoke lazily curl through the sky from the smokers that had gathered outside. He didn't smoke, but today was a good day to consider starting.  
  
So, that was the end of his short lived attempt at a relationship then. Cool. Turned out to be as shitty as he'd imagined it being.  
  
“Fuck you Letterman.” Kenny repeated to himself for the umpteenth time that night. Leo was...definitely too good for him. Why was Letterman his soulmate? That made no sense. It was ridiculous.

And if thinking about Leo helped him not think about Craig, and his protectiveness when it came to Leo and Clyde, then it was just a coincidence.   
  
Fuck him.   
  
Apparently to him, Clyde was worth protecting. Worth defending. It was apparently WORTH protecting _his_ soulmate bond. But not theirs.

Clyde had won. He'd fucking stolen both Leo and Craig, in different ways.

Whatever, Kenny didn't fucking need any of this shit anyway. The whole thing was clearly more of a pain in the ass than it was worth.  
  
 _Liar  
  
_ Kenny wanted to imagine that wasn't his own thoughts to himself. But it was. Something he'd have to get used to again.  
  
  
He needed to drink more.

  
Eventually, he returned to the inside of the club. 

He was avoiding their group table, opting for hanging at the bar instead. He'd checked in with Stan and Kyle at intervals, but wanted to leave the two mingling groups to their fun. Didn't want to bring himself to that.   
  
And slowly, after a few (okay quite a few) drinks, he was feeling almost numb enough to not feel angry, and like he wanted to dance instead.   
  
  
Plus, there were some pretty attractive people here. Denver had game it turned out. And he was eying up the prospects. Yeah, this was good, being free, able to be with whoever, whenever. This was so much better. Hmm, now who?  
  
....  
  
Nah, too short.  
  
….  
  
He wasn’t into blonds, preferred darker hair.  
  
….  
  
Mm, not bad, but the eyes...nah.  
  
...  
  
Fuck, this was impossible. Why was it that hard to find someone he was into? It wasn't like these people weren't hot. They just weren't quite right for what he was looking for. Was he always this picky?  
  


Annoyed, he downed his shot, and moved towards the dance floor as the song changed to one he knew, avoiding the 'lovers' (“Fuck you Letterman.”)

He’d just dance then. And he liked the [ song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg_jD3U8Gf4) . It fit his mood. Plus he hated everyone. Well, maybe not everyone. Mostly everyone. 

  
  
  
_“I don't drink to forget you, I drink to have fun. Tonight, I'ma let go and kiss someone, had too many shots and now my throat is kinda hurting. Can't think of the reason why my eyes have started burning.”_  
  
Kenny was mouthing along with the words. Yeah, this was good. Forgetting everything, letting go, and just dancing. Forgetting Clyde, forgetting Leo, forgetting his shitty soulmate.  
  
 _"I'm crying, dancing, thank you for understanding, it's not my heart that's breaking, it's just these shoes are killing me."  
  
_ She had a great point this singer. Hurt feet was a legitimate reason to cry. Plus no one was gonna notice anyway.   
_  
  
"I'm crying, dancing, it's really quite outstanding, it's not my heart that's breaking, it's just the songs they're playing."  
  
_  
Yeah, some of the songs tonight had been cry worthy for sure. _  
  
  
"No more thinking about you, no, not even once. I'm so glad I'm happy, I'm not missing anybody."  
  
  
_ Man, she made so much sense, and he was on board with this entirely. No more thinking about Craig.  
  
  
Who had the best eyes,  
  
And the right shade of hair.  
  
Who was the absolutely perfect height.   
  
  
  
Yeah, fuck that guy. Who wanted someone like that? Not him. Hell, he wasn't even thinking about him. He was taking the advice of his new singer friend. They were on the same wave length. Both of them dancing, both of them not thinking about someone, both of them crying because of shitty music and painful shoes and shots that were too strong.   
  
  
  
Also, fuck this weekend. He wanted to go home. And then lie down on his bed and put this song on repeat for the rest of forever. This song could be his new soulmate.  
  
  
  
He wanted to go home.  
  
 _Liar_  
  
He didn't want to go home, he wanted to stay here.   
  
_Liar_  
  
He wanted another drink.  
  
....  
  
Maybe if he got fucked up enough, he'd be in a state where he was both here, and at home. Then he wouldn't apparently be lying to himself somehow. Yeah, time to go to the bar.  
  
 _  
"I stumble to the bar 'cause it's coming over hard."  
  
_  
This woman just _got_ him. Like she knew what he was doing. They were totally on the same wavelength.  
  
  
And he was sure he recognised this blond person standing in front of him.  
  
  
Ah yeah, Tweek.  
  
  
Tweek had two shots, and he handed one over.  
  
Tweek was now his best friend. Officially.  
  
He took it and clinked the glass with Tweek’s.  
  
“Let’s talk.” Tweek asked, gesturing to a quieter corner. Kenny nodded, and downed the shot. Hell yeah bestie. You bought yourself some time. A part of him was telling him it was a bad idea. But why would it be? The guy bought him a drink, that meant they were solid.   
  
  
He stumbled his way through the crowd, following Tweek over to a space between the bar and the back wall of Mirage, and through a set of doors that turned out to be the corridor that led to the smoker’s gardens, and out of the back of the club. Oh wait, he knew this place, he'd been here before.  
  
It was less crowded here. Tweek took out a packet of cigarettes, offering Kenny one. Kenny took one, nodding his thanks, kind of surprised that the blond was a smoker. Tweek saw him looking and shrugged.  
  
“Helps me de-stress. Not that that’s why I brought you out here.” He lit up as he spoke, exhaling smoke, before returning his attention to Kenny.  
  
“You know, you’re kind of a dumbass.” Tweek said bluntly. Kenny agreed wholeheartedly.  
  
“Yup. I can’t argue with you.” Tweek rolled his eyes at this.  
  
“Jesus. I’ve known you like, a day, and now I’m stuck trying to fix this mess you two made.”  
  
“Look. Letterman has been asking for it since day one-”  
  
“-I’m not talking about Clyde.”  
  
  
Ah.  
  
  
So they were talking about this. Yeah, he didn't want to. Nope. Singer lady had told him that there was no more thinking about it to be had. He needed another drink. When’s the last time he had one? Wait, didn’t he just have one? Fuck, he was so drunk. Thank fuck Stan was driving. Was it him or did he say fuck a lot? Must be a drunk thing.  
  
  
Right, what was he doing?  
  
Oh wait, yeah. Tweek’s words. Okay, time to set him straight.  
  
“Look. Before you do the whole ‘I’m here for my friend’ spiel, I’m gonna fight my corner. You see your friend in there?” and Kenny pointed. In the wrong direction, but Tweek nodded, not looking away from Kenny. He knew who Kenny was talking about.  
  
“That guy has caused me more problems over the past weekend than I’ve ever had in my entire life. I’ve literally gone from angry to crying to screaming in my truck, to hysterical psycho laughter, to crying, to deliriously happy, to fucking hurt and back to fucking crying in the space of 48 hours. I have probably looked insane to every passerby and probably my closest friends. I almost jumped over a table tonight...which isn’t that unusual I guess...but let’s pretend it is. I lost my shit out of pure frustration and the certainty that the edge of sanity I’ve been standing on this entire weekend crumbled beneath my fucking feet.”  
  


Kenny looked at Tweek as if daring him to interrupt. Tweek took a drag, gesturing with his cigarette for him to continue.  
  
"And your asshole of a friend Clyde decides that he hasn't been enough of a prick this weekend, he decides to steal Leo in the most binding way possible. And then my soulmate decides that they both need protecting from me. Like I would even touch a hair on Leo's head! That Clyde's feelings need to be FUCKING PROTECTED, because we can't let him feel hurt, oh no. It's fine though, Kenny can take it instead, S'all good!"  
  
  
“And okay, I wasn’t-I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but fuck, it would be fucking _glorious_ if I could go just _one day_ without having to deal with the fact that I’ve fallen so fucking insanely, crazily hard for your fucking ASSHOLE of a friend, who I might add beat the shit out of me when we first met."   
  
  
“And you wanna know the worst part about all of this? I don’t get to keep him. After years and fucking years of not even considering the idea that there was someone for me on this shitstain excuse for a planet, I get a glimpse, and JUST when I decide “fuck it, take a chance Kenny”, the reality of the situation hits, he shuts me out, locks the fucking DOORS, and now I’m here, spending the possibly last night with him not only avoiding him, but fighting with him, him needing to protect people from me, protect their soulmate bond, because it's a precious, precious thing right? And somehow talking with you or something, because it’s too hard to be anywhere near him currently. Hey, I get it, it fucking sucks, but I get it.”  
  
He needed some support, he was swaying. The wall would do.  
  
“So I decide that all wanna do is get drunk, dance and maybe find someone here to fuck around with, someone to take the edge off. But I can’t even do that, because they’re not tall enough, or they don’t have black hair, or FUCKING AMBER EYES, seriously, fuck his eyes, just...who the fuck asked him to look like that? A room full of drunk, attractive people, and I realise, ‘oh fuck’. No one is ever gonna be good enough ever again, I’m basically ruined for anyone else, and it’s _hilarious_ , because I haven’t even done anything with him and I still know that no one else will come close to what I know he’s capable of, and it’s all HIS FAULT.”  
  
There was silence from the two of them for a moment. Kenny took the opportunity to lean back against the wall.  
  
“Feel better?”   
  
“No.” Kenny replied petulantly. Gods he wanted another drink. He took a drag from the cigarette instead. It was...helping. He needed to erase from his mind the fact that he’d totally overshared with Craig’s friend. A lot. Fuck.  
  
  
"Ah shit. I didn't mean to say half of that. Can you like...forget all the embarrassing stuff, and just remember all the angry sounding stuff."  
  
"I'm pretty sure it was all angry sounding stuff."  
  
"Yeah but...like, can you forget the other stuff?"  
  
"What, like the truth? That you like Craig, that he likes you, and you've somehow despite that, both made a stupid decision, and now you're both sulking in different ways?"  
  
"...Yeah. Forget all that. Also I'm not fucking sulking."  
  
“Jesus...I didn’t come over here to rip you a new one. I actually agree with you a little bit. And I’m not just here for Craig. Like I said, I’m here for BOTH of you.”  
  
“There’s not much you can do. I told him to fuck off forever.” Tweek rolled his eyes.  
  
“You realise you're both being melodramatic drama queens? You do realise that right? You both struggle with emotions, anyone can see that. You with too much, him with too little. At least you both match in being shitty at it. And guess what? If Craig has shut you out, then you don't have a fucking clue why he did what he did at the restaurant. You're just guessing and painting your own theories to make yourself even more miserable. And he's doing the EXACT same thing right now about you. You're both so stupid and blind.”  
  
“You...you’re kinda savage, you know that?”  
  
Tweek shrugged.  
  
“Me and Craig once dated you know.”  
  
Kenny’s eyes, which had been closing, snapped open. Tweek held up a hand.  
  
“Calm the hell down. We were like...ten. Wasn’t for that long. It’s a long story.”  
  
“Why did you break up?’  
  
“It wasn’t really a _real_ relationship. Mainly because we were pretending. We were always just friends. And then something changed.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Tweek unbuttoned his sleeve, and rolled it up. On his forearm was shimmering animating lettering.  
  
  
 _No cream. I’ll take it black. Why ruin a good thing?  
_  
  
“Is that..”  
  
“-my Soulmark? Yeah.”  
  
“So, you matched with someone?”  
  
“Yeah. Back then I was a real jittery mess. I mean, I’m still kinda that, but I was a lot worse.”  
  
“You’re not right now.”  
  
“Alcohol. Smoking. Chills me out. Anyway, Soulmate turned up. I worked at my parent’s coffee shop back then, and he was a transfer student. He said that line on my arm, and I said his, you know how it goes. We hung out a lot, and then his dad got transferred to Chicago, and he had to move. And yeah, bit hard to follow as a ten year old, you know?”  
  
“You were separated?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“How did you get by, that must've sucked right?”  
  
“Yeah, it really did, but we met up occasionally, over holidays and stuff, and as we got older, it got easier, and soon..well it won’t be an issue. Both got into the same college.” Tweek had a faraway look as he smiled, which then turned serious once more as he fixed his gaze on him.  
  
“Point is, we had to wait seven years. So, I’m probably one of the few people that _gets_ it. What you two are going through. I’ve done all the moping and melodrama and hurting each other and pushing each other away and Romeo and Julietting. And yeah, it’s totally justified how you’re feeling, but, and take it from someone who has done it, that doesn’t mean you can take it out on each other, which you're both doing an _amazing_ job of doing. And what's worse, while you're in this weird competition to see who can hurt the other the most, you're dragging bystanders into it. You need to communicate. Geez, me and my Soulmate figured that out as kids.” Tweek took another drag.  
  
“You’re _supposed_ to compliment each other. Prop each other up and support each other. Craig locks you out and freezes up emotionally? Then fucking kick the doors open and jolt him out of it, don't give him extra keys to lock it with. And he should be the one chilling you the hell out when you’re this high strung, not winding you up even more. You’re literally letting each other be the worst kind of self destructive, because you’re denying each other the other half that fixes it. And it’s bleeding out into your night. The others don’t get it.But I get it, and pushing away from each other _won’t_ work. It'll end with you either resolving this, or beating the shit out of each other. And I think we both know what happened the last time you two tried to fight.”  
  
Tweek put out his cigarette on the wall, throwing it in the pail that the club had provided, before buttoning up his sleeve once more.  
  
“Tl;dr version? Stop being a fuckwit. You have an advantage we didn’t. You’re both fucking adults, and you both know how to drive, and you have the damn power to make your own decisions on where you wanna go and where you wanna be. Don’t wanna be separated at college? Fucking defer for a year, reapply to a new one together. Or wait it out until you’re both done. You’re both so focused on the problem, you’ve somehow both missed that there are solutions if you even bothered to look..”  
  
“Now. You guys have tonight. Pretty sure you can do more on your last night as adults than I could on my last night as a ten year old. Don’t fucking waste it.”  
  
And Tweek turned and re-entered the club without even a backwards glance.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
_  
  
_

  
  
  
  
  



	8. Ignore/

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Whoah whoah, I don't wanna be using the L word here. I barely know him. It's been like two days. You remember we watched Frozen right? `You can't marry a man you just met.'"
> 
> "I don't want you to be unhappy Ken…"
> 
> "I'm not unhappy."

* * *

  
  


##  **CHAPTER EIGHT**

##  **Ignore/ (Kenny)**

* * *

  
  
_Chapter Eight Song (Kenny’s): Ghost Town - Modern Tragedy_   
  
  


* * *

  
  


Kenny appreciated Tweek trying to fix things, in his own...savage way. And in some ways, he made sense. Yeah, the distance between them was only 3 or so hours drive away.

But it wasn't just about that anymore. Yeah, it had started with them having to say goodbye, but the events afterwards, well, they were a lot harder to deal with. Kenny wasn't even sure who owed who what in terms of explanations and apologies.  
  
And he was angry, and they'd both made a lot of decisions and said a lot of things. He wasn't sure he even had the state of mind available to even try to fix things. And apparently fist fights were not the answer, which was a shame, because a lot of the time, they were.  
  
The rules were so different now to what he was used to. Relationships, it turned out, were _hard._ Never before had he wanted to simultaneously be near someone and away from someone. 

Craig was still blocking him out, and he’d tried to probe a few times, just to see if there was a way in. What was once a calm mind of flowing thoughts was now a wall of ice. And every time Kenny tried, even when he had the best intentions, it pissed him off every time he hit that wall. And he got angrier, and then decided it wasn't worth the effort. And then he'd cool down and try again, and the cycle would repeat, but he was losing hope each time he tried, and now… 

He knew he could go over and talk to him, but he still remembered the last words he said to Craig.  
  
  
“ _Stay the fuck away from me from now on.”  
_ _  
__  
_He was...a little too proud to go over and speak to him after a declaration like that. So, Craig wouldn’t come over, and Kenny wouldn’t go over. Well, that solved that conundrum. They were both going to pretend to be having fun whilst being miserable, and would head back to the motel, and in the morning, they'd take their bows to the audience for their excellent (shitty) performance at pretending everything was fine, and they would go their separate ways without a word.

  
  
Well, that was that.   
  


  
**That** was fucking **that**.   
  
  


And fuck, he'd cried enough hadn't he?   
  


Hadn't he??   
  


…Apparently not. Okay then. Maybe just a little more, while he was alone and no one would see.   
  
  


This would get better. The words were hollow and meaningless, but he told himself that anyway. Because it was the thing people told you. 'Don't worry, time will heal, it will get better.'

But people didn't live in the 'will' or the 'would', they lived in the 'is', the 'was'. And this wasn't better. And pointing from the 'was' to the 'would' was callous, and cruelty dressed as well intentioned. 

It was helping the butterfly before it was ready, and crippling it instead. Well intentioned was the biggest mockery of comfort. 

Kenny couldn't time travel. He couldn't leave 'was' behind. He was stuck with it, in it.   
  
  


Now, with such cheery thoughts in hand, he just had to make it through the rest of this evening, and then the rest would be a cakewalk in comparison. 

  
Plus, he was sobering up, and he kinda preferred that. Drinking to numbness wasn’t working anyway. He still felt angry, hurt and he cried. So he made a head start on avoiding a hangover, ordering water for the next few drinks.  
  
And the Craig ship had sailed, but there were a few other things he could still resolve within this group before they left.  
  
  
And with that thought in mind, he walked over to the first one.  
  
“Lette-Clyde. Mind if I borrow Leo for a minute?”  
  
Clyde scowled slightly, but Leo just gave Kenny a smile.  
  
“It’s fine, I won’t be long.”  
  
And he followed Kenny outside, it being the only place he could speak easily. Kenny made a beeline for his favourite wall, which despite being kicked by him, still stood supportive and steady when he leaned against it.  
  
“You alright Ken?” Was the first question out of Leo’s mouth. And Kenny was once against reminded of why Leo was so important to him. No matter what Leo had been going through, he always checked how others were doing first.  
  
“Yeah, I’m doing.....I’ll be okay eventually.”  
  
And that felt like a truth. Or at least, he believed it was true.  
  
“Good. Been a bit worried about you this weekend. You’ve not been yourself.”  
  
Kenny chuckled. 

“Yeah, it’s been a...weird weekend.”  
  
“Because of that Craig fella?”  
  
Kenny’s gaze, which had been roaming the streets outside, shot back to Leo, who offered a smile.  
  
  
“I...yeah. Listen, how did you know about that?”  
  
“Aww shucks Kenny, there was clues all over ya know?” And Leo pulled Kenny close, into a hug.  
  
“It’s gonna be okay, ya know that, right?”  
  
Kenny hadn’t planned to cry anymore tonight, he’d promised himself, and Leo was making it so hard right now. Leo was so fucking selfless.  
  
“Leo, as much as I appreciate this, I don’t really wanna cry on your jacket.” And Kenny pulled away with a great show of willpower.  
  
“Besides, you shouldn’t be hugging me, I came out here to apologise.” Leo blinked owlishly.  
  
“Apologise? What for?”  
  
“Well, for almost jumping over the table and attempting to attack your soulmate.”  
  
“N’aww, that’s okay. I know why you did it, and your intentions were good. You’ve always been like a kinda protective brother. And you were being protective."  
  


"Leo..you're not allowed to forgive me that easily."  
  


"Why not?" 

"Because I could've punched Letter-Clyde's face in."

Leo smiled. 

"Well, okay then. You've gotta make it up to me then."

"I can do that. What do you want?"

"I want you to make up with Craig. Clyde's been telling me that he hasn't been himself all night. And that's because you had a falling out, right?" 

  
Kenny exhaled. 

"Leo, I don't know _how._ Things got complicated…"

"Things like love tend to be."

  
Panic.  
  
Kenny held up his hands

  
"Whoah whoah, I don't wanna be using the L word here. I barely know him. It's been like two days. You remember we watched Frozen right? `You can't marry a man you just met.'"

"I don't want you to be unhappy Ken…"

"I'm not unhappy."  
  


Silence  
  


"..Okay, I'm unhappy right _now,_ but it's not always gonna be that way."

"...Hey Ken. Is he your soulmate?" 

"...Yeah."

"Are you sure you don't even wanna try and fight for that?" 

"He's the one that doesn't wanna fight for it. In fact, he's happy to fight for yours and Clyde's more than he is ours."

"...I don't think he was fighting for ours."

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, it's only a guess, but it seemed more like he was protecting you."

"Protecting me?? Were we watching the same thing? He was against me." 

"Well gee Ken, you're out here apologising an all, imagine how much worse you'd've felt if you'd actually hurt Clyde. Plus, they might've thrown you out, or maybe called the police. I think Craig was stoppin' you from that."

"He was protecting LETTERMAN. He knows I don't like him, and was protecting him. From me."

  
Leo shook his head.   
  


"I might be wrong, but I don't think you're any more right. I think he didn’t exactly phrase things right when you got angry, but it’s a whole lotta obvious that he cares. Especially when he's in there all sad, just like you're out here, all upset. " 

"I'm not upset, I'm pissed off. And he doesn’t fucking care. We’ve established this. Which is good, because I don’t wanna see his fucking face."  
  
There was a pause of silence for a moment.

  
"...Ya know Ken, I was always able to tell when you were lyin'. Remember the firework incident?" 

"That was one off."

"What about Middle Park County Fair?" 

"...Okay yeah I’ll give you that one as well."

"Ken. I know we don't really say it, but growing up, it really helped having you around. And you were there when no one else was. You even snuck in when I was always grounded so I wouldn't be alone. Honestly, I…dunno how I would've gotten through those times without you."  
  
  


"...Well now you've done it. I should take it out on you by crying on your damn jacket after all." and Leo laughed.  
  


"My point is, you never gave up on me, even when everyone else did. Even when it was probably boring to sit with me when everyone else was having fun. You don't give up on people, that's your superpower. I think you can find a way to solve this." 

Kenny sighed. 

"Leo, you're giving me too much credit here. I don't fix things, or people, I break them. And anyway, this tangent has entirely changed the conversation. Which was me apologising to you about Letterman...uh,Clyde. Fuck that's gonna take some getting used to. Guess we're gonna be seeing a lot more of him, huh?"

“Maybe if you talked to him you’d like him more? Plus he’s read all of One Piece and watched all the episodes!”’  
  
“That’s....really...la..something, yeah. Also, he’s next on my list.”  
  
“List?  
  
“List of people to apologise to after almost setting fire to proverbial bridges. In his case, many, many attempts were made.”  
  
“Who else is on that list?”  
  
“Just two. You, and Lette-argh, fucking-Clyde. As annoying as it’s gonna be, I’ve probably been a bit of a dick. Plus, for some reason, he means a lot to you. Just...promise me if he EVER does anything to hurt you, you’ll let me know?”

“Of course I will Ken.”  
  
“Awesome.”  
  
“As long as you promise not to kill him.”  
  
“...Goddammit Leo…”

* * *

  
Next up was the person he wasn’t looking forward to.  
  
Letterman.  
  
  
He should really try and get used to calling him Clyde.  
  
  
  
And he’d reasoned that the only way he’d get Letterman...CLYDE out here was with a bit of help from Leo. So when the brunette turned up outside and walked towards him with a scowl, he sent a quiet thanks to Leo, and a threat to god that if he didn’t take Leo when his days were through, he’d be up there to have a little word.  
  
It wasn’t the first time he’d threatened god. They had a system, and it worked for them. Mostly it was Kenny doing nothing for god, because why bother when he was probably going to go to hell anyway. But he’d still bitch to him when he wanted something done. It worked.  
  


“Leo said you wanted to talk.”  
  
Clyde looked at him with a mixture of dislike, disdain and worry. Interesting mix. Kenny was pretty sure that were he not trying to make amends, that he’d be making a similar face. But that wouldn’t be counterproductive.  
  
“Mind if we talk for a bit?”  
  
“Is this one of those ‘if you ever hurt Leo I’ll kill you’ things? Because I’d rather skip that.”  
  
“Well, it’s good, you already know the consequences at least.” And Kenny grimaced. He was supposed to be attempting niceness.  
  
  
“Look...dude. I’ve got a lot I need to say, and I’d appreciate it if you’d give me the time of day if that’s cool.”  
  
  
Clyde looked heavily suspicious, but nodded,  
  
  
“Firstly, I wanna say that…” Ah fuck, did he really have to? Why was he doing this anyway?  
  
“....that I’m...sorry. For everything. Being a prick, threatening you, almost attacking you. I’m sorry for that.”  
  
  
“..why?”  
  
“Look, Leo is very important to me, and...I want him to be happy, and I guess you’re what makes him happy. I’m not gonna get in the way of that. Plus...”  
  
  
Nope, he wasn’t going to admit to Clyde or himself what the secondary reason was.  
  
  
“...I dunno, I’m not saying it will or anything, but we should probably try to get along.”  
  
  
“So, why you been acting so messed up towards me, blondie?”  
  
“Because I’m a natural in both hair colour and being a prick?”  
  
“O...kay. So what the hell did you do to piss off Craig?”  
  
 _  
Oh god, give me strength. Or satan, give me strength. Or anyone, I’m not fussy. Someone give me strength.  
_  
  
“You saw what I did at the restaurant-”  
  
“Nuh uh, no way man. It wasn't just the argument you had at the restaurant. Craig is my childhood friend, my oldest friend. I know when something big is bothering him, and I reckon it’s something you’ve done. ”  
  
  
Clyde was still slightly hostile, and it was rankling on Kenny.  
  
  
“It’s...complicated.”  
  
“We’ve got time.”  
  
“...You’re not gonna let this go are you?”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“Can’t I just let you punch me a lot until you’re happy?”  
  
“Tempting, but no. I wanna know.”  
  
  
  
So Kenny sighed, and told him everything, from the very beginning. And when he was done, he slumped against the wall. Fuck, it sounded so messed up when said out loud.  
  
  
“...So, you and Craig, are like me and Leo?”  
  
“Yeah...we linked that first day.”  
  
“And the reason you’re doing this isn’t just because of Leo, is it?”  
  
  
Fucking hell man. Clyde wasn’t supposed to be this damn...insightful.  
  
  
“It’s just for Leo.” Kenny replied shortly.  
  
“I’m not so sure.”  
  
“It has nothing to do with Craig. I’m not gonna even see him after this, so why would I even bother doing something like this for him?”  
  
“You’re a terrible liar.”  
  
“And you’re a lameass...sorry, instincts kicking in. Point is, I’m sorry for being a prick. Leo is like a… little brother to me. He’s very precious to me. Please, don’t hurt him. Keep him safe and loved and protected. Watch your dumb anime shit with him and talk about how desserts are apparently a large part of the main food groups. I just wanted to...I just want him to be happy. And if being with you makes him happy, then I’m happy. And I shouldn’t have let my shitty situation ruin your amazing one. I’m sorry.”  
  
And Kenny got up from leaning against the wall, aiming to make movements back into the club.  
  
  
  
Except there was someone now hugging his back and sniffling into his ear.  
  
  
“What the-”  
  
“Duuuuude. I never knew! I just...I’ve been an ass too ya know. But we both love Leo, just in different ways!”  
  
  
“There’s that fucking L word again…” Kenny muttered. Although the familial love he felt for Leo _was_ true.  
  
Clyde hiccuped, and then the real crying began.  
  
“Uh, dude….you okay?” Kenny honestly wasn't sure what he was supposed to do right now. He fucking sucked at comforting people when they cried. Like, he went deer in headlights mode. Fuck. Uh...  
  
“I just...when I first saw you, you were so mean, and then you wanted to fight, but after that, I was an asshole too ya know! Like when you came to our door, but I was still angry cos your friend had hurt my eye, and then I noticed you and Craig hanging out, and I got..a lil jealous, cos he’s like my friend, but suddenly, after one fight, he wanted to go after you, or hang out with you, or be near you, and I was worried because I thought you might have been taking my best friend away, but I got it all wrong dude!”  
  
  
Clyde was a loud, emotional, messy crier. Satan must've heard Kenny, because he was in hell right now with this situation.  
  
  
“Uh, it’s okay man…”  
  
  
“No it’s not! Because now you two are angry at each other because me and you kept fighting and now I just want you to make uuuup.”  
  
Shit, he was really starting to see why he and Leo matched. Under the ‘tough guy’ persona, he was just as frigging innocent and emotional. It would have been endearing.  
  
  
  
Were it not fucking weird.  
  
And why was the guy STILL crying on him?  
  
  
  
“Dude, it’s cool, I promise. I’m...gonna make things right with Craig.”  
  
  
Small white lies never hurt anyone, right? And he'd say fucking anything if it'd get him out of…whatever the hell this was.

Clyde looked up from his soggy shoulder, his eyes all teary.  
  
“You are?” Kenny faltered at that look. 

Goddammit he had puppy dog eyes! He was Leo mark II.  
  
“Well...maybe. I don’t really know how, but I’m sure it’ll work out right?”  
  
Clyde suddenly looked determined, and he slung an arm over Kenny’s shoulder.  
  
“Yeah...yeah! For definite. This will be fixed. In the name of our new bromance!”  
  
  
  
Aww fuck. Was it too late to take everything back?  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
And Clyde dragged him back into the club, apparently not ashamed of the tear tracks or red eyes he had. And for one awful moment, Kenny thought that Clyde was going to drag him over to where Craig was currently listening to Token at the tables. Clyde however, veered off, heading instead towards Leo, as if thinking better of it, but not before Craig had looked up. And like a fool, Kenny didn’t look away.  
  
Clearly, from the very slightest look of surprise in his eyes, Craig had been expecting Clyde to be alone, and not with his arm around Kenny’s shoulder. And Kenny didn’t have any idea on how to portray...well..anything, in the time it took for him to look away, Kenny focusing once again on the direction Clyde was dragging him, namely, back towards Leo.  
  
And Kenny did not poke at the wall Craig had built. Definitely not. Definitely not like he always did at his tooth hole with his tongue when he realised something was missing.  
  
“Yeah, I’m thinking Leo is probably better to go to about our plans.”  
  
“What plans?” Kenny asked as he was led to the other blond, who smiled at their...close position. Well, the other blond that wasn’t Tweek. Man, they had a lot of blonds between the groups…  
  
“Plan: Get you and Craig to make up.”  
  
And Kenny unwound himself from Clyde’s impressive ‘bro-grip’.  
  
“Whoa whoa, no. There is no plan. This isn’t something you can plan. It’s fine.” Kenny held his hands up. And his jaw almost dropped when Clyde _pouted._  
  
  
Never mind getting off on the wrong foot, they’d gotten off at wrong stations entirely. How had he found issue with this guy?  
  
  
And Leo very easily wound an arm under Clyde’s.  
  
“Don’t worry, it’ll sort itself out.”  
  
  
“Exactly” Kenny agreed. He didn’t have the heart to tell sweet, optimistic Leo that he thought that was utter crap. He wouldn’t do that.  
  
“Well, anyway, it’s been...interesting Clyde. I’ve gotta go see another blond about a drink.” And Kenny was off, before Clyde could...cry on him again or something. Holy fuck that whole situation had been _weird._ Thank fuck he was still slightly drunk. He wouldn't have gotten through that sober.  
  
And he clapped Stan’s shoulder and nodded to Cartman as he reached the bar. He didn’t stop for long, but he bought them drinks. Stan and Cartman had never really been clubbers. They both refused to dance, preferring to sit at the bar drinking and talking, and they were happy with that. And it was a great safe haven to sit there for a few minutes and small talk. Eventually, Kenny did move on to the blond who was talking with his favourite redhead slightly further along the bar.  
  
“I owe you a drink. Plus I guess you get one Kyle, as you’re here.”  
  
Tweek turned towards him as Kenny tried to get the attention of the server.  
  
“Well don’t you look less fucked than you did an hour ago.” was Tweek’s reply.  
  
“What are you guys having?”  
  
“Same again.” and Tweek held up his drink, some kind of perry. Kyle had…  
  
“Kyle, what’s that?”  
  
“Fireball whiskey. Wanna try?”  
  
“Kinda, but nah, next time. Another one?”  
  
“I’m good dude.”  
  
Kenny ordered the perry and a lime and soda for himself.  
  
“What’s the drink for?”  
  
“I’m being nice. And to say thanks, and sorry.”  
  
“For?”  
  
“For your advice, and for being an ass.”  
  
Tweek raised an eyebrow as he picked at the label on his bottle.  
  
“And have you done anything with said advice?”  
  
“I’ve done things. Maybe not the right things, but...righter. Just in a different direction.”  
  
“So, basically, that’s a no.”  
  
Kyle groaned and dropped his head to the bar with a quiet “For fuck’s sake Kenny…”  
  
“Hey! I’m absolutely not the one with the problem, he is.”  
  
“You’re both dumb asinine fucks.”  
  
Kyle and Kenny both froze at the phrase, but Cartman was far away and didn’t hear the similar phrasing.  
  
“Dude, Kyle, be careful man.”  
  
“I know right? That was close...Shit….imagine, me and Cartman..” And Kyle shuddered.  
  
“But back to more important things.”  
  
“Dude, almost accidentally linking with Cartman is pretty fucking important.”  
  
“Stop changing the fucking subject Kenny.”  
  
“What the fuck do you want me to do? I swear I’ve had this conversation with half the fucking room, and you’re all saying the same shit, and I’m saying the same shit back. I'm sorry I'm getting fucking bored of it.”  
  
“He’s scared.” Tweek commented mildly, having managed to remove the label fully from the bottle. Kenny glared at him.  
  
“I am NOT fucking scared.”  
  
“Yes you are. You’re scared of trying, and having Craig reject you despite it. And you’re pissed off because you think this is all his fault, and you’re prideful because you don’t want to be the first one to reach out.”  
  
“This sounds familiar…” Kyle nudged Tweek slightly, who nodded.  
  
“Same song on repeat.”  
  
Kenny opened his mouth to hotly ask what the hell they were saying, but was interrupted with the arrival of their drinks, so he was forced to hold his tongue. He almost curtly handed over Tweek’s drink.  
  
“Right well. Thanks, sorry and all that. I’m gonna go...get some fucking air or something.”  
  
  
  
And that was when he decided to pull out his phone to check how far they were from the motel. He’d had enough of everyone’s fucking meddling, and this damn club.  
  
  
Two and a half hours. Twenty minutes to drive here, two and a half hours to walk. Well, good time to get started then.  
  
  
And he’d been walking the streets of Denver for about 20 minutes before his phone rang.  
  
  
“S’up darlin’’” Kenny drawled down the phone.  
  
  
 _“Hey. We’re gonna drive back to the motel now and couldn’t...find you. Where are you? Smoker’s area?”  
_ _  
_ _  
_“Nah, started walking home.”  
  
 _“Wait, you’re fucking walking the streets of a city we’ve never been to before, alone at night? And you decided this was a good idea why?”  
_ _  
_Kenny heard the sounds and voices of other people asking Kyle what he meant.  
  
“You really have a way of summing things up so the rest of the world can hear it Kyle.” Kenny complained. Great.  
  
He didn’t get a reply. Kyle was talking to someone else. Several someone elses.  
 _  
_“It’s fine. I have google maps.” He said loudly, hoping Kyle would hear that.  
  
He heard the sound of the phone rustling.  
  
“Kyle? Look, stop worrying-”  
  
  
 _“Kenny.”_  
  
That...was not Kyle. Kenny rolled his eyes. What was this guy’s fucking problem?  
  
Ah fuck, the threadsnap. Craig had totally known when he’d gotten out of range. Fuck.  
  
  
“...What do _you_ want?”  
  
 _“Whereabouts are you?”_ Craig’s tone was flat.  
  
“It doesn’t fucking matter. Put Kyle back on.”  
  
 _“Tell me where you are.”  
_  
“I’m heading back to the fucking motel. Get off my back.”  
  
 _“Which road?”  
_  
“The none of your fucking business road.”  
  
There was a sigh on the other end.  
  
 _“Two options. Tell me, or keep everyone up while we look for you.”  
_ _  
_  
Kenny fucking hated ultimatums, but he didn’t want his friends driving around for ages looking for him. And the fucker knew that.  
  
  
Kenny sighed, and reluctantly pinned where he was, sending it to Kyle’s phone.  
  
“There. Happy fucker?”  
  
 _“Stay there.”  
_  
“For fuck’s sake...You realise I am an adult, right?”  
  
 _“Adults don’t wander off alone into the streets of an unknown city at 1am in the morning without telling anyone.”_ Craig’s tone was cold, and it infuriated Kenny.  
  
He sighed in irritated exasperation.  
  
“Fuuuuuck man! Bring on tomorrow. At least I won’t have to deal with your fucking bullshit anymore. Overprotective much?”  
  
There was silence for a moment.  
  
 _“If you didn’t act like a fucking child, I wouldn’t need to.”_ Craig’s voice went from flat and unamused to clearly irritated.  
  
  
Fucking good. He wanted the fucker to hurt. To feel an iota of what Kenny felt from being shut out.  
  
  
“Fuck you. No one asked you to. You just don’t like the feeling that I’m out of range of our fucking link.”  
  
There was no reply, just the sound of rustling.  
  
 _“Kenny?”  
_  
“Kyle, you don’t have to pick me up, it’s fine. Craig’s clearly being fucking melodramatic.”  
  
Kyle lowered his voice.  
  
 _“Dude, he was really worried.”  
  
_ Kenny scoffed.  
  
  
  
Yeah right. The frozen asshole didn’t deign to do mortal things like worry about him.  
  
  
  
“No he fucking wasn’t. He just doesn’t like the empty feeling when I’m not in range. Well he’s gonna have to fucking get used to it, isn’t he? Seriously dude, I’m totally fine, I like walking.”  
  
  
“Kenny, it’s like, two hours walk to the motel from there. We’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?”  
  
  
Kenny, realising he wasn’t going to win this, made a vague agreement noise, and hung up.   
  
  
_“I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known, don’t know where it goes, but it’s home to me and I walk alone.”  
_ _  
_ _  
_Kenny started singing softly to himself as he carried on walking along the road. Fine, he’d let them pick him up, but he wasn’t going to stay like a dog.  
  
  
He liked walking at night. People were just upset because it was Denver, and not their quiet, little, redneck, podunk, white-trash, lame ass mountain town. He was fine.  
  
  
  
  
Even if something did happen…  
  
  
  
  
  
Yeah, he didn’t wanna think of _that._ Back to singing it was. And he put his earphones in, and pressed play.  
  
  
 _“Spit me out, if you don’t like the taste I leave in your mouth…”_  
  
  
And it wasn’t long before he felt the telltale signs of the gnawing inside fade.  
  
  
 _“And now it looks like, looks like, looks like, looks like Fucker’s close, gimme something worth breaking about.”_ Kenny sang in a singsong voice to himself, making up new lyrics to accompany the chorus of the song that was still playing. He sighed as he looked up at the sky, stopping his walking progression.  
  
  
And the dumb SUV pulled over where he was stood. And Kyle got out.  
  
“Hey dude.”  
  
“Where’s my baby?” was the only thing Kenny demanded.  
  
“She’s fine. Stan took the others back. I said I’d come with these guys to come and get you.”  
  
“Why couldn’t you come get me in her?”  
  
  
 _Why couldn’t you come to get me without **him**?  
  
_ _  
_Kyle looked back at the SUV.  
  
  
“He wanted to make sure you were alright.”  
  
“Well, clearly I am, as I fucking told him.”  
  
“Kenny, seriously dude. Why are you so pissed off at him? For like everything?”  
  
“I’m not talking about this right now.” Kenny answered shortly.  
  
“Fine. Let’s go then.” and Kyle gestured to the SUV. Kenny gritted his teeth ever so slightly, his tongue poking at the tooth hole in a distracted, agitated manner.  
  
  
“Kenny, It’s a fucking SUV, not a hearse.”  
  
  
“Yeah I know that!” And Kenny opened the door. He hated that he was getting into this dumb vehicle. In the back sat Tweek, who nodded to him. Opposite him, Jimmy had the back facing seat, and looked up to offer him a sincere smile and a “Hey there.”  
  
Kenny slid in, feeling very uncomfortable and slightly outnumbered. Kyle slid in after him, reminding him he wasn’t entirely alone. Token looked to Kenny in the rearview mirror.  
  
“Hey dude.”  
  
“Uh, hey man.”  
  
And with all pleasantries done, Token continued to drive along the road. The radio was low, playing some sort of smooth [drum and bass.](https://open.spotify.com/track/3F1xIEsuL3PmXxE0GblgGK?si=6uIvG_ysRxu7uSbOTb5BMQ)  
  
  
Kenny felt fucking trapped. He was blocked from any sort of escape route. He hated sitting in the middle seat in any car, but this one? At this particular time?  
  
  
  
Fuck this.  
  
  
  
And he could feel the waves of irritation from Craig. Anytime they got too close to him to almost reach out, he mentally zapped them away.  
  
 _  
I’m not talking to you. Fuck off. You don’t get to pick when we talk.  
  
_ _  
_And he ignored him for the rest of the drive, opting to converse with Kyle, Tweek and Jimmy, with Token occasionally interjecting.  
  
  
And Kenny’s phone vibrated. It was from Kyle. He looked at Kyle questioningly, but Kyle just gestured towards his phone.   
  
  
  
  
_**Kyle:** So, I have something to tell you. You won’t like it._ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kenny:** What?_ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kyle:** Me and Tweek talked, and I agreed to let Butters and Clyde have our room for tonight. __  
__  
__**Kenny:** Dude, fucking WHAT?_ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kyle:** It’s their last night!_ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kenny:** And why did Clyde have to come to ours? Why couldn’t Leo have gone to Clyde’s and put Craig somewhere, anywhere else that wasn’t with me?!_ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kyle:** How would that have even worked? We didn’t wanna put you or him with someone random you didn’t know. __  
__  
__**Kenny:** Fine, then YOU fucking share a room with him, and I’ll take Leo’s place with Cartman and Stan._ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kyle:** Dude…_ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kenny:** Don’t FUCKING dude me. I don’t wanna share a room with him!_ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kyle:** Kenny, I’m doing this for your own good. You guys NEED to talk. Stop fucking avoiding it!_ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kenny:** ….fucking fine. You guys wanna plot and try and force me. Whatever. You can have Leo’s spot Kyle. But I’m NOT sharing a room with him._ _  
_ _  
_ _ **Kyle:** Kenny, c’mon man. __  
__**  
Kyle:** Where else are you gonna go?_ _  
_ _ **  
Kyle:** I don’t care if you bang on our door. I am not gonna let you in. You need to sort this. I don’t wanna be that guy, but we’re not leaving until you’ve talked. __  
_  
  
Kenny ignored the last string of messages after reading them. And refused to talk to anyone for the rest of the journey. _  
_ _  
_ _  
_

* * *

_  
  
_

By the time they had gotten back to the Motel, and Kenny had confirmed that his baby was safe and well, he’d already decided in whose arms he could sleep tonight.  
  
Clyde and Leo stood outside the rooms, Leo coming over to Kenny when he’d finally been allowed out of his car shaped prison.  
  
“Ken. You okay?” Kenny nodded tightly, which considering his mood at the utter betrayal of his friends, was the equivalent of giving Leo a massive hug. Kyle was right about only one thing. These two did deserve to have their last night together. Even if he’d been entirely fucked over in order for it to happen.  
  
“Thanks for this bro, we appreciate it.” Clyde said, his arm around Leo.  
  
 _I hate everyone._ _  
__  
_“Yeah, it’s fine. Lemme grab some things and I’ll be out of your hair.” And Kenny ducked in to grab his things real quick. Once he was sure he’d grabbed everything, he slung his bag over one shoulder and stepped out.  
  
“Right. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” And that was the signal for them to head indoors.  
  
“Later f...f..fellas. It’s been a real p..p...it’s been a real p..p...pl….good time. ”  
  
“Seeya dudes.” And Token threw the car keys to Craig, who caught them. Not that Kenny noticed that, as he was too busy ignoring everyone. Just as he didn’t notice Craig turn and head into the motel room.  
  
Tweek gave Kenny a look.  
  
"You and Kyle look like you've established a great _friendship._ " Kenny ground out.

Tweek grinned. 

"Oh yeah. We see eye to eye on a lot of things. One of them being 'give a chance, and if not successful, then take matters into own hands."  
  
And Kenny flipped him off. Tweek smirked and waved as he turned to follow Token and Jimmy.  
  
  
  
  
He and Kyle were the traitors.  
  
He’d remember this when Ragnarok came.  
  
  
Kyle stood there uncertainly as Token, Jimmy and Tweek made their way to their respective motel room, a few doors down. Kenny ignored him. Traitorous traitor.  
  
“I’ll..see you tomorrow Kenny.” Kyle offered.  
  
It was only Kenny’s great fondness for the redhead that stopped him from flipping him off as well. Instead he leaned against his truck, waiting for Kyle to leave. Leaving him and bastard alone. Well, said bastard had already gone into ‘their’ room.  
  
He wasn’t stepping one goddamn foot into that room.  
  
And after everyone had fucked off, he swung himself up into the bed of his truck. This would do fine. His phone was a little low on battery, but it was enough for like..an hour of music, and that was enough.  
  
And he lay back on his arms, putting his earphones in, and settled in for the night.  
  
Or at least, that was Kenny’s plan. He was given three songs, about ten minutes, before half way through Abba's “S.O.S”, he heard one of the motel doors open.  
  


* * *

Kyle was watching from his window. He felt awful for doing this to Kenny, but sometimes...on occasion, Kenny needed to be forced. Even if he hated it.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
Kyle glanced over at Stan, who’d come to sit on the bed. Cartman was already snoring, having not waited for the second group to come back before hitting the hay.  
  
“He’s still lying in the truck.” Kyle turned away from the window to look at Stan with a sigh.  
  
“Stubborn jackass.” was all Stan commented in reply, watching the window.  
  
“I feel...bad. Maybe I shouldn’t have-”  
  
“Nah dude, sometimes people need a push.”  
  
“Doesn’t look like it worked. And now he hates me.” Kyle muttered.  
  
“Dude, he doesn’t fucking hate you.”  
  
Kyle nodded, not quite sure it was true.  
  
“...And it’ll work.” Stan spoke into the quiet. Kyle frowned at Stan.  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
Stan pointed out the window with a smirk.  
  
“Because Craig absolutely knows how to deal with Kenny when he’s being stubborn.”  
  
  
  
  
Kyle looked back at the truck. At where Kenny had been. Except Kenny was now…  
  
  
  
  
“Dude, is he fucking fireman lifting him?? Like, seriously?”  
  
Kyle couldn’t help it, despite his guilt, and the faint sounds of Kenny’s outrage, he found the scene in front of him hilarious. He laughed.  
  
Stan was chuckling at the scene.  
  
Craig, cool and calm as anything, had lifted Kenny, grabbed his bag, and despite the rage filled blond slung over his shoulder (showing off his very colourful language), was walking steadily back to the motel room.  
  
  
“Brave guy. If one of us tried that, Kenny would kill us.” Stan commented as the motel door closed. Kyle was still laughing, tears in his eyes.  
  
“Oh god...that was...fuck. He gave zero fucks. Kenny thought he was being all smartass, and just like that...” And he started laughing again.  
  
“Kahl, you fucking lowlife, scrap begging, greedy, jersey born jew. Shut the fuck up. Some of us are trying to sleep.” Came the sleepy voice from Cartman.  
  
“Shut up and go back to sleep fatass.” Kyle returned, still grinning.  
  
  
“Right, now that’s been resolved, try and get some sleep dude.” And Stan was up, and over to his own bed.  
  
  
  
  
“Sorry Kenny…but also, kinda not sorry.”  
  


* * *


	9. /Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Craig.”
> 
> “Tucker, look at me.”
> 
> “So, you’ve proper fucked him up.” 
> 
> “I have.”
> 
> “Don’t you start with this Tucker. I know what you’re doing.”

* * *

##  **CHAPTER EIGHT POINT FIVE**

##  **/Talk (Craig)**

* * *

  
Chapter Eight Point Five Song (Craig’s): Mercules feat.Prada - When The Going Gets Tough

* * *

  
There were many things that Craig regretted in his life. They varied in range and intensity, and although he would never compare this current situation with some of his more harrowing experiences, he knew immediately when and how he had fucked up.  
  
The when? Earlier today, in the back of a silver pick up truck  
  
The how? In letting him leave the truck, in making him cry, in trying to once again lean back on his faithful method of ‘closing down’ emotionally.  
  
“ _Even though it hurts inside, you won’t show it. You won’t be the last cos you weren’t the first, just keep telling yourself it could always be worse.”_ _  
__  
_And it could be worse. He had no illusions of that. He’d seen worse. Kenny was upset, and he’d let him go, but Kenny was alive. Already that wasn’t as bad as it could be.  
  
 _“Just keep telling yourself it could always be worse.”_ _  
__  
_And he’d failed in the past, at knowing when to walk away. And he’d honed that skill, and hadn’t messed up since then.  
  
Until today.  
  
Today was the first time he was unsure of the decision he’d made to walk away. The minute he’d made the decision, he’d been debating taking it back. Because it hurt.  
  
 _“Even though it hurts inside, you won’t show it.”_ _  
__  
_He had a few rules he’d learned to follow in his life, mantras that he’d repeated so often, that he’d absorbed them into his core. And it was because of one of his mantras that he hadn’t reached out to stop Kenny leaving the truck.  
  
Because no matter the pain, it could always be worse. And this would be the same.  
  
Except, this time, he found himself believing the words less. And before he’d known it, the truck door had opened, and someone stood there, looking at him.  
“I need Kenny’s keys.” was all he said. And Craig, knowing he could trust them with his friend, reached to hand them over. They sat in his cap, which was currently on his lap. He hadn’t even considered it until now, and his hand paused for a second as he touched the keys.  
  
 _“Even though it hurts inside, you won’t show it.”_ _  
__  
_And he grasped the keys, handing them to the other dark haired teen, who did little more than take the keys, and give him an appraising look, before leaving.  
  
Leaving the door open.  
  
A hint to get the fuck out of the truck.  
  
Craig sighed, giving himself a few seconds to pull himself together. And then he got out of the truck.  
  
 _“On the inside it will hurt, you will wanna scream for help.”_  
  
He’d watched Kenny leave, answer the phone, answer angrily. He’d watched him until he’d disappeared into the crowds of people. And then he’d sat here thinking about regretting his decision, and then how he’d persuaded himself to not undo it.  
  
He instead moved to where his group stood. Well, his group, and the person that had infiltrated it recently. The blond he didn’t mind, but wasn’t as fond of. And it was nothing against Leo. There was just an order of preference in his head. And worryingly, the order of preference for blonds in his life had slowly been shifting positions and ordering.  
  
Clyde spared him a bright smile, which Craig didn’t return. Clyde was used to his stoic mannerisms, so simply continued his conversation with the least favourite blond in Craig’s mind.  
  
“Craig.”  
  
And he was being elbowed slightly. Craig looked down at the shorter person currently invading his space. Tweek was giving him an unimpressed look.  
  
“What?” he eventually asked. Tweek rolled his eyes, and gestured with his head towards the cars. Craig looked over, and once again, felt a pang of regret.  
  
The dark haired teen and Kenny stood there talking quietly, the dark haired teen eventually slapping Kenny on the back, with Kenny offering him a tiny smile.  
  
“What about it?” he asked.  
  
“You did something stupid, didn’t you?”  
  
Tweek was always so intuitive, and in this case, right.  
  
Tweek was probably one of his closest friends, and knew him well.  
Clyde had known him longest, but during their brief stint of dating, they’d gotten to know each other pretty well. And Tweek had never bought any of his emotionless bullshit. He never had, even at the very beginning.  
  
There was a surprising amount of correlation between blond haired males he’d fought and ended up developing feelings for. And he’d been with many people, but he’d only ever developed feelings for a select, rare few. And they’d all been blonds who hadn’t been afraid to smack him across the face.  
  
Tweek had been the first when he was ten. And their fight had been a simple misunderstanding, but one they’d both jumped into with zeal. Young age and the arrival of Tweek’s soulmate had been the factors standing in the way.  
  
Then there was Thomas when he was thirteen. And although their fight hadn’t been as intense as his most recent, it was one that had ended with them both agreeing that this wasn’t as important as the attraction they’d known was there.  
  
And then there had been Gregory when he was fifteen. His harshest fight up until now, which had ended with the both of them being arrested. Not for anything major, and they’d been let go pretty quickly. It had just been a bad idea to start a fight in a public mall. Still, their later activities had been far more productive, but with no less risk of getting arrested, depending on how mischievous they’d been feeling.  
  
He clearly had a type. Blond livewires. Tweek had always been slightly unpredictable and unnerving in how much he knew and how little he cared at how he’d upset someone by saying so. Thomas had a lust for bending the rules, usually if it meant emptying the school. Gregory had been a rebel without a cause, always fighting something or someone.  
  
  
Tweek was someone giving you a static shock. Thomas had been the jolt of electrocution from changing a bulb (which he’d experienced and hadn’t been pleasant). Gregory? He’d been chain lighting, moving from cause to cause, his lightning used to inspire and invoke people, awaken the spark of resistance.  
  
  
  
There was a method to the madness in his past partners, a slight unnervingness, but one he’d been impervious to.  
  
But Kenny….  
  
Kenny was a full blown electrical storm.  
  
Even from the beginning, all it had taken was a simple middle finger, and Kenny was ready to fight. No restraint, no worry for their surroundings, no care of dragging others into things. He was chaos, and invoked and imposed chaos.  
Kenny had seen a chance to fight, and had _demanded_ it. Even if Craig had said no, he doubted he’dve actually had a choice in the matter.  
  
And that had instantly, without fail, made Kenny the most attractive thing in the entire area. He stood out, and refused to back down or be overshadowed. There was a glowing spark to his eyes, a charged expression of anticipation. He lay claim to Craig’s attention.  
  


 **Now** ,  
 **Instantly,**  
 **All of it.**  
  
  
Kenny had found a way to be both the most charming and mesmerising creature, and the most infuriating, anger inducing antagonist.  
  
And he’d seen that slight hint of crazy in his vivid eyes. The smallest amount that he knew meant trouble, that meant it wasn’t guaranteed to be safe.  
  
Past partners. They’d been unpredictable, and tiptoed along the edge of danger. But Craig had never felt any sense of danger from them.  
  
And he’d always taken great importance to being in control. But to have this person, who back then had no name he knew, somehow crawl under his skin, through his veins, mocking him with every pulsebeat.  
  
Craig hadn’t been able to handle it. So he’d ended it, before he was consumed entirely. Shins throbbing with pain, blood on his face, body aching, he’d headbutted him.  
  
And there had been a moment, when he’d struck the blond, and the gaze was one of disorientation, and Craig had seen something else in the gaze.  
  
Surprise.  
  
The blond hadn’t been used to losing. And then the blond had collapsed to the floor.  
And almost as if it had been a signal, the blond’s friends had stopped. And he had looked at their expressions.  
  
They were utterly shocked. All of them.  
  
And he’d looked back at this...creature on the floor. Which had shocked everyone so much, in many different ways.  
  
He’d wandered away with his friends whilst Kenny’s friends had fussed around him. And he regretted it. Their fight had ended so quickly, and he hadn’t seen all of it. He’d cut it short.  
And he’d found himself at the first aider tent, somehow pointing out the blond, not quite understanding why the hell he was even helping. It had been a stupid fight, and he’d finished it, and now he could walk away.  
  
Instead, he’d stood at the registration booth with the others, casually glancing over at the direction of the car park. And it irritated him.  
  
 _“You won’t let it show.”_  
  
And he tried not to, but he found himself looking over, worrying his lip in irritation, generally looking far too agitated, that even his friends had picked up on his mood.  
  
It was fine. It was _fine._ He’d beaten the blond, and when they eventually approached the crowd, he waited and watched. He wanted to see the expression the blond would pull. And at first, the blond had looked around vaguely, as if checking the crowd.  
  
And then their gaze had met, and he hadn’t expected what he’d seen.  
  
The blond was glaring at him. No fear, no regret, no indication of pain. Just a promise of revenge. And that had both heavily intrigued and pissed Craig off. And he realised that he hadn’t fully removed this...lightning from his veins. It was still there, coursing through roughly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t over.  
  
And it had gotten worse as the games had proceeded. The cool, calm way he usually played was entirely overwritten by this spark, that spread like a poison the longer it went on, the more he caught sight of the blond, who after every shot, would mockingly wave at him, making the grip on his weapon tighten as he felt the poison zip through capillaries, through bones, through tendons. And every encounter made it worse.  
  
And their last interaction of the session had come. All he would have had to have done was turn and shoot him. His win. Easy enough. But no.  
  
“Any last words, bitch?”  
  
And the poison _coursed_ through him in thick, gulping waves, dictating that he take the cocky blond down physically. Because he’d felt robbed from their last fight, that there had been more, but he’d ended it too quickly. And Craig almost couldn’t breathe at this point. The poison had found his lungs, so he had no choice but to remove his headgear, dropping it to the side.  
  
And the blond had fought him to the bitter end, but he’d kept the blond down. And finally, there was some catharsis as he held the blond’s own weapon to his head.  
  
“This is my win.”  
  
And he didn’t know why he’d chosen those words. He’d had many he’d cycled through. Some antagonistic, some embarrassing, and in that moment, those had been the words that had come out.  
  
"...you...asshole! Why would you say that, out of everything you could've said?!"  
  
Everything had changed at that moment. And he’d realised why.  
  
So, this was the moment, and this was the person. And he’d looked back and forth from the tattoos. And he was...taken aback.  
  
But he didn’t have room for anything more than that. Because the blond’s mind, thoughts, sensations. They were as overwhelming, loud and intrusive as the blond himself, and he caught snippets of his mind.  
That….wasn’t usual....  
  
..If he concentrated, he could maybe…  
  
…  
  
 _I want to deny it so hardcore. This is not my fate! I do not belong with this asshole, surely?_  
  
 _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck_  
  
…  
  
 _-against me like this._

 _Fuck. That. And fuck this guy._  
  
…  
  
 _-he has really nice eyes. And they look really fucking hot when he’s angry. But that doesn’t mean shit!_ _  
__  
__…_ _  
__  
__Oh god, was I attracted to this guy before we fought? What kind of fucked up shit is this?_ _  
__  
__...._ _  
__  
__Let’s see.....Yeah, I’ll say it again, I would not kick him out of bed… No wait, I absolutely fucking would! Especially after the stunt he just fucking pulled. Who told him he could match with me??_

_...Huh, Asshole has really adorable ears._

_...What the fuck is wrong with me?_ _  
__  
__...._ _  
__  
__Can I feel this guy’s confusion? Is that weird? It’s probably weird yeah....No wait, I can definitely feel it. But..what is that feeling? I don’t...recognise it._ _  
__  
__...._ _  
__-prettiest damn eyes I’ve ever seen on a person. Jesus, how is he legally allowed to walk around with them?_ _  
__  
__...._ _  
__  
__-stupid, inane, dumbass thoughts are doing nothing to help them out of this situation. I should hit my head on a wall. Or ask this guy to headbutt me again. That'd work. But would the guy agree? He doesn’t seem angry like I am, so probably not? Although, maybe I could phrase it as 'getting them the fuck out of this situation.' Maybe if I antagonise him?_

 **_Hey Asshole, you are one hot motherfucker!_ ** **_  
_** _  
__FUCKING LIBIDO SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT UP BRAIN SHUT THE HELL UP._ _  
__  
__...._ _  
__  
__Maybe I just need to openly admit it to myself rather than denying it over and over? If I admit it, then I can move on from it? Like when I have an annoying song stuck in my head, and listening to it helps it go away._

 _  
_**_Fine. Okay asshole, you are hot. Very hot. And you have dumb beautiful eyes, that look...amazing when you're angry, and are fucking distracting as fuck, which I'm totally blaming as the reason I lost the fight. 5 star review on yelp, "would absolutely fuck' etc etc. But who fucking wouldn't?? No one's gonna see you at the door and go "Nah". They'd be fucking crazy._ ** **_  
_** **_  
_** **_...._ ** **_  
_** _  
_And Craig couldn’t help but agree, but not about himself. About the blond. And he wanted him to know that.  
  
 _You’re so...incredibly attractive to me. I don’t know what, but you have something that draws me to you. I’m...confused about all of this, this isn’t normal, but...to borrow a phrase, yep, totally ‘wouldn’t kick you out of bed either’._ _  
__  
_And Craig knew at that moment that he wanted to keep him. Whatever he had to offer, Craig wanted. He’d chase the storm, for good or for ill.  
  
And the blond had blushed, almost angrily at the feelings he’d sent, and Craig could feel the blond’s embarrassment. So, they could communicate. Kind of. And Craig had never wanted to be as close to someone as he did this blond right now. And he could hear the blond’s wild thoughts once again, almost as if the blond was shouting them.  
  
....  
  
 _Fuck! I fought this guy earlier, this guy headbutted me! Now was NOT the fucking time to be blushing of all things! I hate this guy, right? RIGHT?? Yeah, I must do...Right?_ _  
__...I don't hate this guy.....Not even a little....It’s the opposite in fact...Fuuuuuuuu. Why don’t I hate him? Why not? Why the fuck not?? Hate is easy to deal with. You punch hate, you dropkick hate. I don’t know what the hell this is, or how to deal with it!_ _  
__  
__..._ _  
__  
__I’m scared, and agitated. I don’t know what to do. I want to leave, but I CAN’T. This...thing won’t let me! What do I do?_ _  
__..._ _  
__  
_And Craig had sat there, confused, concerned and a little hurt as his soulmate almost tore himself apart with this. It turned out that the lightning storm that this person encompassed could also wreak havoc internally, and it had turned on itself. It made Craig….worry. In the same way he’d worried for Tweek as kids, when Tweek hadn’t been able to even comprehend how to calm down. This was that same feeling, and Craig had been able to help Tweek. But he couldn’t help the teen in front of him that was ripping himself apart with his own panic, consuming himself in his own chaos.  
  
It was like watching a snake eat its own tail. Which was a terrifying analogy.   
  
Craig wanted to help, but couldn’t ignore the panic felt from his presence, the need for Craig to stay the hell away, and he didn’t want to make things worse, so he’d respected the blond’s wishes, even when he’d called up his friend to get him. And he’d looked so very...scared when looking at him. He’d looked terrified, his eyes, which up until now had worn the shades of cocky, or challenging or antagonistic, or angered, now donned a cloak of fear, and it made him look so fragile, when he’d seemed so… dangerously charged before. Craig could hear the blond try to cover up his fear with anger, but underneath everything, under the blond’s vague threats towards himself, the abundance of swearing and the mass of tumultuous thoughts, was fear, and nervousness and vulnerability. He felt stripped bare with no protection.  
  
Why? Craig didn’t understand, despite feeling what Kenny did, he’d not quite caught the reasoning why he was feeling this way…but it was causing him to feel his own pricks of panic and fear, out of sympathy and concern.  
  
Craig couldn’t align or comprehend the vast array of emotions the blond had shown him in the last few hours, and he felt like he could drown in the variety that this person had brought to him. This fascinating, infuriating, fragile, intriguing blue eyed creature.  
  
  
 _“Kenny? Where the hell are you?”_

So, his name was Kenny. 

  
"Come and get me in the buildings. The ones we were near before you got shot.” And Craig simply watched as Kenny spoke to his friend.

_“Dude, are you hurt??”_ _  
  
_

“No, I-I'll explain why later, but I can't...move? Please hurry. Also, Asshole is here. Bring one of his friends."

_“What the-did you get into another fight? I TOLD you to stop trying to look for him! You don’t even hate Cherry Creek. Stop using fighting as an excuse for something else!”_ _  
__  
_Cute. That was so fucking cute. Kenny had been looking for him as well. And Kenny had recognised his own feelings of amusement.  
  
…  
  
 _Ah shit. Why Kyle, why would you say something like that? And I know he understood that! Fuck, I’m so embarrassed…_ _  
__  
__..._

"Uh, Kyle...you're on loudspeaker."

_"...Ah shit. Ignore me...Fuck..."_

“Look, Kyle, I promise I’ll explain more. Just...get here quick, grab one of his friends, and get us out of here, okay?”

_“I don’t get it, but...okay man. What’s his name?”_

“What?”  
  
  


 _I don’t know his name yet…_ Was the thought that drifted into Craig’s thoughts from Kenny.  
  
  
  
 _It’s Craig._ Craig tried sending gently. 

_  
__  
__“So his friends know who I’m talking about. I can’t just say ‘Come and get your friend Asshole', like you spent the day calling him.”_

“Uh…” Kenny looked to Asshole.  
  
He hadn’t heard his thoughts. Seemed like it was more difficult for Kenny to hear his than he could hear Kenny’s

"...Craig." He offered again. Or for the first time in Kenny’s eyes. 

  
...

_That name...It feels so...right. Fuck the name. I fucking hate it._

**Your name fucking sucks. I hope you realise that. I will never like that name. Asshole....** **  
****  
****...** **  
****  
**Craig resisted a smile. Kenny probably wasn’t entirely aware of how much he could hear.

"It's...Craig." Kenny said his friend.

 _"Cool. Uh, well we'll be there soon. Try not to kill him before we get there? And same to you Craig, whatever you guys do, don't fight or kill each other before we get there!"_ _  
__  
_Craig wasn’t planning on doing anything but focusing his efforts on staying away from Kenny. Even if he didn’t want to. Or understand why. Soulmates were supposed to go to one another. But, soulmates didn’t tend to be able to talk to one another internally, so something was clearly going on that didn’t make too much sense.

"I'll see what I can do."

  
  
  


He hung up the call. And then Kenny avoided looking at him.  
  
...  
  
 _Dumb fucking name. What kinda name was Craig? It’s basically one letter off of Crag. And who wanted to be named after a hunk of rock?_ _  
__  
__..._ _  
__  
_Craig couldn’t help but be amused at Kenny’s attempts to trash his name. And Kenny had clearly felt it, for the next thought was waspish and short.  
  
...

 _Fucker. In fact, that’s now his full name. Craig 'Asshole' Fucker._ _  
__  
__..._ _  
__  
_Craig almost laughed at that. Kenny had gotten so close as well. One letter off and he’d’ve guessed his last name coincidently.

And Kenny clearly wasn’t pleased that he’d found the whole thing so funny, as he immediately focused on ignoring him, trying in vain to stop his own thoughts from escaping. But it was like trying to catch lightning in a bottle, and it wasn’t working as well as Kenny had hoped.  
  
And Kenny’s feelings were very conflicting, a fact that Craig found fascinated. He was still angry, still scared, a little curious, still hyper aware of his attraction to Craig and trying hard to deny it, embarrassed.  
  
And he was bad at being patient, as it wasn;t long before he looked back at Craig.  
  
  
  
...  
  
 _I’m really curious about something, but I’m worried about asking about it._   
  
...

 _You can ask, I’ll answer anything._ Craig had offered again, unsure if Kenny could even hear it, but wanting to try anyway. 

“Question.”  
  
Craig found it a lot more difficult to resist things when Kenny spoke, or moved, or did anything really. Especially as Kenny had spoken quietly and calmly. Anger was the thing keeping Craig away, and it felt as if between all the many, many feelings and sensations Kenny was experiencing, anger was slowly ebbing away to make room for curiosity slightly. Which didn’t help Craig. 

“What?” Craig had eventually ground out.  
  
 _I don’t want to sound angry, or look angry, but I get the feeling that you need it, so I’ll keep pretending._ Craig knew Kenny was unlikely to hear anything he sent, but he wouldn’t stop trying. 

Kenny gestured to Craig’s mark.

“Tattoo?”

Craig nodded.

“Same.” Kenny replied.  
  
That was an interesting point. They’d both gotten tattoos to cover their soulmarks, which hadn’t appeared. Craig assumed it wouldn’t matter either way. It’d show up one day, and he’d match with someone. And it’d felt right to do when he’d gone with Jimmy to the tattooist. It’d been an entirely impulsive action, very unlike him, but he;d known the words, and that they had to be there. And he and Jimmy had walked out inked.  
  
And Kenny had done the same somehow.  
  
...  
  
 _Wait, so we match? Does that mean Craig doesn’t have a visible Soulmark? Did he get it tattooed over as well? Ah! I wish I could ask! I’m so curious!_ _  
__  
__..._

How was Craig supposed to get through this when Kenny was being so...endearing and curious and cute.  
  
 _I wonder why you don’t hear me when I reply to you, but I can hear you just fine._ _  
__  
_Craig felt slightly frustrated at the imperfect way of communication. But he tucked the feeling to the side softly. He needed to be here for Kenny right now, he could worry and poke at his own thoughts later.

And then he felt it.  
  
A deep, harsh wave of guilt, that removed all traces of anger that Kenny had previously. And Craig felt the desire to move towards Kenny return

“Fuck.”

Kenny had whipped his head up at his curse. Dammit...

“What’s wrong?”  
  


How was he supposed to even explain this?  
  


“If you...want me to stay away, you need to stay angry.” 

“What?”

“Don’t fucking feel bad!”  
  
And if Kenny’s friend hadn’t turned up just then....  
  
But he had. 

“Kenny?”  
  
...

 _Kyle! Thank fuck you turned up when you did. I’m so relieved._ _  
__  
__..._

And Craig noticed who else Kyle had brought with him. Tweek was here. And was analysing the odd situation.  
  


“...Have you guys been fighting again?” he asked, looking quickly between the two. 

“Something like that.” was Kenny’s reply. And Tweek looked at him with a frustrated look. 

“You two have been doing this all day. If you get into another fight you'll get us thrown out."  
  
And out of habit more than anything, Craig reached out to the blond, placing his hand on his head. 

“Tweek, chill out. It’s fine.”

"You're being stupid. It's not fine." he argued. 

And Craig felt it. A small jolt of something that was quickly hidden, but he’d heard it.  
  
  
...  
  
 _I shouldn’t feel fucking jealous, I have no right to, so why does Craig touching him make me feel that fucking way?? I need to hide this feeling quick. What the hell am I even thinking? Get it together McCormick!_ _  
__  
__..._

Craig looked over to him, catching gazes with Kenny.  
  
  
…  
  
  
 _Ah fuck, you felt that didn’t you? Ugh! I wasn’t quick enough! And fuck, it’s not like I care about this guy!_ _  
__  
_**Don't go thinking that I care either way asshole. It's not like I like you or anything.**

 _It’s just my dumb mark’s fault. I can’t believe my tattoo betrayed me. I am NOT going to act like a possessive asshole with a stranger, this isn’t like me!_ _  
__  
__..._

  
And Craig ignored the slight pinch of hurt at Kenny’s declaration, focusing on comforting Kenny.  
  
 _It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. You okay?_ Craig sent.  
  
...

 _Why? Why am I feeling affection from you? I’m being a prick, and I’m pushing you away, trying to get away. Hate me dammit!!_  
  
...

 _Never_ Craig promised. Both to Kenny and to himself. 

"Right, well. The game is over. And we’re done for the day. We need to head back, hand in our shit. You guys don't look hurt, so, shall we go?" Kyle reasoned.

Kenny nodded, and Craig watched as Kenny struggled to stand. And Craig couldn’t stop the slight feeling of disappointment. 

And Craig knew Kenny had felt it, as the teen _glared_ at him. Whilst blushing. And then he took a step towards Craig.  
  
...

 _Wait, wait, this isn’t right. Away from Craig definitely isn’t towards Craig. Oh this is gonna be super embarrassing and weird…_ _  
__  
__..._

"Kyle..."

"Yeah?"

"Uh, so...really weird request-"

"I'm not walking away singing 'another one bites the dust' with you again. It was once, we were drunk and-"  
  
  
What? Craig looked to Tweek, who shrugged. 

"-No dude, it's weirder than that." Kyle raised an eyebrow, his green eyes slightly narrowed.

"I'm both intrigued and incredibly worried."

"Can you like...physically walk me out of here?"

"...Say what?"

"I don't think I can do it myself."  
  
 _I definitely can’t._ Were Kenny’s agitated thoughts

"Are you hurt?" 

"Uh no, I-I mean yeah I'm a lil hurt..but it's not that bad, I can walk, I just...can't."

"Dude...you...okay?"  
  
  
...

 _Kyle, I just wanna fucking LEAVE!_ _  
__  
__..._

"Kyle. I promise I’ll explain it to you, just...please...humour me here."

Craig watched as Kyle walked over to Kenny, putting his hands on Kenny's shoulders and turning him towards the exit. 

"Like this?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

  
And Craig suddenly felt what Kenny had felt when he had touched Tweek.  
  
 _He’s mine, not yours! Hands off!_ _  
__  
_And he’d stepped forward, barely restraining himself. _  
__  
_This was a ridiculous overreaction. And yet he’d had it. It wasn’t something that had been mentioned in classes either.  
  
“Fuck..” he cursed quietly to himself, which Tweek had turned to look at, but the other two hadn’t.

“Uh, Tweek was it?”

Tweek jumped, but apart from that, looked the epitome of calm. 

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Equally weird request."

Tweek nodded. 

"Yeah, I get it." But he looked at Craig for a moment. He wanted Craig to give him the go ahead.  
  
And Craig hesitated. 

...

 **_I need you to do this for me. He won’t do it unless you say it’s okay._ ** **Look, I'm...sorry, but I can't do this. Let me go, and don't follow me. Please.**

 _This is too much for me. I need space. I can’t do it._ _  
__  
_...

And Craig wasn’t going to deny Kenny this, even if it hurt.  
  
 _If you need me to stay away, I’ll do that._ He confirmed.  
  


Craig looked to Tweek, and nodded. And he didn’t look over at Kenny. He didn’t want to watch himself become a jealous bastard. And he didn’t really want to watch Kenny leave.  
  
...

 _Fuck, I feel so bad, I feel guilty. I should face this. But...I absolutely can’t Not now. I need to run. I’m scared of this…_ _  
__  
_...

 _It’s fine. Go._ Craig sent. Ignoring the pangs of loss.  
  
And Tweek waited with him in silence until they were gone, and then he spoke up.  
  
“It’s going to snap Craig.”  
  
Craig looked to Tweek.  
  
“What is?”  
  
Tweek offered him a strained smile.  
  
“You know what. Don’t play dumb. I know what this is, and what’s gonna happen when he gets far enough. It’s gonna hurt.”  
  
Tweek was always a perceptive one. And Craig wasn’t going to deny it.  
  
“Yeah. I know.”

And Tweek put an arm around him, letting Craig lean into him slightly, and they waited for it to happen, used to each other and comfortable with close proximity.  
  
  


And then it snapped.  
  
  


And Craig knew it was going to happen. But he hadn’t realised just how... **bad** it could be.  
  
 _“Just keep telling yourself, it could always be worse.”_ He chanted to himself in his head, trying to ignore the insane level of emptiness he now felt.  
  
“It’s okay. You’re okay...It’s utterly shit, but you won’t die, trust me. I’m here Craig...” And Tweek kept comforting him. Because Tweek knew better than anyone, despite Craig’s beliefs, that what was on the outside was not what was on the inside when it came to Craig.  
  
 _“On the inside it hurts, and you’ll be screaming for help. But even though it hurts inside, you won’t show it.”_ _  
__  
_Craig always, always remembered the words. And he used those, and the words of comfort that Tweek spoke to him. And Tweek didn’t coddle him. His words were comforting, but blunt. And he liked that about Tweek. _  
_  
Everything was gone. All of it. All the feelings.  
  
It was similar to now, but in a different way. Before, the thread had snapped, and it had hurt.  
  
But this time, standing with Tweek, watching Kenny, this was where he could confirm it was all on him. Because Craig was scared, because the mantras he’d always told himself, were failing him for the first time in years.  
  
And Tweek had asked him just now “You did something stupid, didn’t you?”  
  
Craig could only nod.  
  
Absolutely.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


One of the nice things about Craig being himself, was that unless you looked very, very closely, you wouldn’t be able to even notice that there was anything wrong with him. He had developed the perfect stoic persona, and it fooled most. And he liked it like that. He liked keeping his cards close to his chest.  
  
People joked that he and Clyde were like yin and yang in that. Clyde showed his hand directly to you without worry and with a smile. Craig didn’t know how he did it, but he was glad his friend felt he could be that way, even if he had in the past, occasionally reprimanded him for it when the brunette had come bawling to him.  
  
There was only so much sympathy you could give to someone who kept running into fire, before becoming exasperated when predictably, they would then come out burned and crying, surprised that it had burned. Craig would always be there for Clyde throughout his many moments of hurt from wearing his heart on his sleeve, but he would also try to show him that being too open wasn’t the safest thing.  
  
Because he didn’t like his friends being hurt, any of them. He’d fought many in the name of protecting them. And it had been the oddest dilemma when he’d discovered that Clyde and Kenny didn’t like one another. Two people he cared about greatly, and they sniped and made fun of and threatened each other. And from Clyde, he knew it was all lip service, Clyde wouldn’t start a fight.  
  
  
  
Kenny however, he couldn’t be sure of. Kenny was like Tweek, like Thomas, like Gregory. The one thing they all had in common.  
  
You didn’t know what they were going to do, and you might not make it time to tell them not to do it. And in some cases, they wouldn't listen BECAUSE you’d told them not to do it. And with the former three, it hadn;t been an issue, because they hadn’t had an issue with any of his friends. Kenny not liking Clyde was a new one, and it made him slightly nervous. He could be playing, he could jump for Clyde. All options were on the table.  
  
He hadn’t even realised that there was any type of antagonism until he’d caught the sounds of Clyde arguing with someone arguing outside their door yesterday evening.  
  
After the initial threadsnap, the group had decided to go out to celebrate their victory. And Clyde had wanted ridiculously coloured cocktails, and although he’d never tell Clyde, he had a slight weakness to the way Clyde would look so happy and expectant. Maybe it was because a lot of his ideas were...farfetched and often shot down, and he’d look so dejected, but everytime Clyde did come up with something that was actually feasible, and he had that _look_ in his eyes, well, Craig wanted to avoid the dejected look, so agreed. In his way.  
  
“Cocktaaails guys??”  
  
“....If we have to.”  
  
“Oh we have to Tuckersaurus. We have to,”  
  
“Pon Pon Bar?”  
  
“Nah, I’m not feeling artsy.”  
  
“Y...y...you don’t have to feel artsy to drink a c...cock..cock...cocktail.”  
  
“I wanna go somewhere quiet. I still ache.”  
  
“The Way Back?”  
  
“I don’t wanna go West 38th Avenue.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Not feeling the vibe.”  
  
“Golden Moon Speakeasy”  
  
“Ah yeah! Good call. “  
  
“Yeah, I don’t hate their drinks.”  
  
“Fucking love their a..a...a...apple jack.”  
  
Tweek had shrugged. Which wasn’t a no.  
  
Tweek had offered to drive so Craig could drink, but Craig wanted to stay sober. He wanted to think things through. So he’d been more than happy to let his friends enjoy the evening, although Tweek had remained oddly glued to his side. Not broaching the subject, just...there. Being silently watchful.  
  
Several bars later (which had included The Way Back in the end), they were heading back to the motel they’d booked. Technically they hadn’t needed to. They were 20 mins drive max from the main town, and their homes. But they’d wanted the weekend together, and that was hard to do when they all still lived at home with family. So they’d chosen to stay at the motel. Clyde was very drunk, but was a happy and loud drunk. Token was giggling (giggling drunk) because Jimmy had wowed them with his latest material for the summer siesta comedy show that was coming up in a few weeks.  
“S.see Token. Lemme give you some advice. Never judge a man before you’ve run a mile in his shoes. Because that way, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have his s..s..s...shoes.”  
  
Token and Clyde laughed loudly, and Craig couldn’t help but give a smile, which was the compromise to laughing. If he smiled, he wouldn’t laugh out loud. Tweek was shaking his head, but was grinning.  
  
“You guys are the most terrific audience a g...g.gguy could ask for.”  
  
And that was all it took.  
  
“Jimmy, my dude, my man, my bro. I love you too man!”  
  
“Oh christ” Tweek muttered as Clyde grabbed Jimmy and started bawling happy tears into Jimmy’s shoulder, who to Jimmy’s credit, was returning the hug with enthusiasm.  
  
“Craig, Token. I’m drowning back here from the feel good and tears. Can you open a window so I can let all the water out?”  
  
And it was Tweek’s dry tone that set Token off, and forced Craig to look away as much as he was able whilst still keeping his eye on the road, attempting, hiding the smile.  
  
“I see you Craig, don’t think I don’t.” Clyde suddenly pointed accusingly at Craig.  
  
  
“What?” Craig asked flatly.  
  
“You SMILED. I saw it!”  
  
“Did not.” And Craig was still smiling. Clyde pointed again.  
  
“Aha! Proof! Proooooof!”  
  
“You’re drunk.” Craig told him.  
  
“I’m not! Well, I am, but I can still see things!”  
  
“Well, we’re here, so get the fuck out of the car.” Tweek threw out, as he opened the door.  
  
“Guys...I need one.”  
  
“Fuck sake.”  
  
“You know the rules. Bring it in guys. I love you.”  
  
And with many eyerolls and sighs, they all gathered closer and Clyde pulled them into a group hug.  
  
“Guys, I love you.”  
  
“You do this every time you’re drunk man.”  
  
“And we agreed that I’d get one drunk group hug per evening, as per the conditions of winning the bet.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, we remember…”  
  
And Clyde was still grinning as they pulled away.  
  
“Well, I guess we’ll see you guys tomorrow, we’re over there.” And Token pointed.  
  
“Don’t worry guys, even though we’re separate, you’re on my mind.” And he grabbed for Jimmy, Token and Tweek.  
  
  
“Hey! One a night.”  
  
“Not a hug, I’m serenading you!”  
“Please no…”  
  
Clyde leaned into Jimmy, with a coy look as he slipped his arm around Jimmy’s waist, poking at his chest with the words.  
 _“It's a little dirty how the whole thing started, I don't even really know what you intended.”_ _  
_Clyde was horribly tone deaf, but Jimmy was into it, fanning his face with his hands.  
  
“Ooh la la, I’m s..s..s..swooning.” _  
__  
_Clyde removed the arm, doing the same to Tweek as Tweek gave him a _look._ _  
__“Thought that you were cute and you could make me jealous, Poured it down, so I poured it down.”_ On the word cute, Clyde pinched Tweek’s cheek.  
  
“...Why Clyde, why?”  
  
And Clyde moved to Token, hugging him from behind, while Token just smiled and shook his head good naturedly.  
 _“Next thing that I know I'm in the motel with you, You were talking deep like it was mad love to you.”_ _  
_  
“Dude you’re so drunk.” _  
__  
__  
_And he slipped over towards Craig, who had taken a step back.  
  
“Don’t do it Clyde…” Craig warned.  
  
Too late, as Clyde looped his arms around Craig’s neck, holding and showing Craig’s wrist tattoo as he sang.  
 _“You wanted my heart but I just liked your tattoos.”_ _  
__  
_“Thank fuck for that…” Craig muttered. _  
_  
  
 _“Poured it down, so I poured it down. And now I don't understand it. Why I got you on my mind, Why I got you on my mind, Why I got you on my mind, Why I got you on my mind.”_  
  
And he pointed dramatically to each of them for each _‘Why I got you on my mind’_ _  
__  
_“Okay, time for bed. See you guys tomorrow.” And Craig had hands at Clyde’s shoulders and was directing him towards the room they shared.  
  
  
And after ensuring Clyde was fine, Craig had left for a shower. And somehow, despite the raw empty pain he’d felt after the threadsnap, he’d found that it had subsided as the day had gone on, and was gone now. Not what normally happened, but none of how he’d linked with Kenny had exactly been normal.  
  
And it was just as he was dressed, drying his hair roughly with a towel, that he heard the commotion at the door.  
  
 _“-excuse- tooth fairy to visit?”_ _  
__  
_Craig couldn’t quite hear the conversation through the bathroom door, but he could tell Clyde sounded...annoyed. And he left the bathroom just as the other person was replying.  
  
“-not here to fight. Just keep it the fuck down.”  
  
And the words zipped straight up Craig’s spine.  
  
Weird. He frowned, confused. And then shrugged.  
  
He supposed the door was open, maybe the cold.  
  
In summer.  
  
He was too tired for this.  
  
“Who’s at the door?” He asked quietly

“The mouthy blond kid you beat up earlier. He’s bitching about the noise or something.” Clyde complained, turned towards him, looked...irked.  
  
But things had clicked for Craig all at once.  
  
Clyde’s words. The sudden rush of panic, fear and realisation that wasn’t coming from him. And he couldn’t help himself, he moved towards the door. It...was Kenny, and he was here? And freaked out apparently.  
  
…  
  
 _Ah fuckfuckfuck. Nope!_ Bail!  
  
....  
  
And Craig was now at the door, but there was no one there.  
  
“Did he leave?” Craig asked Clyde.

“He fucked off. Guess he’s scared of you. Not surprised.”  
  
Craig knew Kenny was scared. But not of him. At least, not of him without all _this._  
  
“Is he staying here?” 

“Dunno. I looked away and he was gone, man. Said his friend was asleep next door. Somewhere around here. And he ran off before I could see which door.”  
  
Craig could _feel_ the yowl of rage that came from the blond. And he found it easy enough to identify that he was next door, to their left.  
  
…  
  
 **_Don’t you dare come knocking. I will finish what I started and this time I will break those fucking shins and your pretty boy face!_ ** **_  
_** **_  
_** _I’m so agitated. I’m scared. What do I do?_ **_  
_** **_…_ ** **_  
_** **_  
_** And Craig sighed lightly. They were back to square one. Kenny freaking out, and Craig not being allowed to help. And Clyde drunkenly scoffed at the fact kenny had departed.  
  
“Psh, not surprised he ran. We beat ‘em today, and if they’re playing tomorrow, we’ll do the same.”  
  
Craig closed the door as Clyde continued to rant about ‘the blond this’ and ‘the blond that’. Craig was only half listening, the other half focused on the maelstrom next door. And he continued listening, even after Clyde had showered, and gone to bed, and had fallen asleep. Craig just lay there, and listened. 

  
...

_They’re gonna be playing tomorrow?! Why can’t these assholes just LEAVE?? Is it too much to ask that I’m given a break?_

_I can’t handle another day of this! I only have so much willpower! I should’ve punched him. I’m too pent up, need to let off some steam. It’s not too late. I just need to stop being an utter pussy about it and walk over there, bang on that door, and when he answers the door, just DECK him….._ _  
__  
__...No, I’m scared. Of him. I’m such a coward. I’m hiding from someone who has no antagonistic intentions towards me._

 _At least no one is here to see me cower like a kid. It’s fine...._ **_  
_** **_  
_** _...Why didn’t I just stay in bed to start with……?_ **_  
_** **…** **  
****_  
_** The tone had started off so angry, and had drifted into a small, quiet, scared tone. And fuck, Craig had to listen to his soulmate torture himself into a frenzy.  
  


  
…  
  
 _At least the gnawing, empty feeling inside me has stopped. I feel less... broken. Silver lining._ _  
_  
_So, to evaluate. I’m protected by four walls. Craig is next door...my heart just skipped a beat. My heart is a dirty traitor. Letterman is gonna get his ass handed to him. I can’t do that. Because Craig is next fucking door! I'll be seeing Craig again tomorrow as well...I’m going to stop thinking of Craig...My brain is a dirty traitor._  
…. **_  
_**  
And Craig was patient, listening as Kenny eventually wound himself down. And it killed him to wait, but this is what Kenny wanted. And eventually, when the thoughts were calm (if somewhat circular in nature), he carefully, gently reached out.  
  
 _Craig?_ _  
__  
__I’m here_ Craig sent.  
  
 _Feels like...Craig wants to talk..or feel…_ _  
__  
_Maybe one day Kenny would hear what he was saying. And apparently he’d missed some of what Kenny had thought, because the next thought was a little out of context.  
  
 _Hear that asshole? Just because I want you doesn't mean I won't kick your ass afterwards._ _  
__  
_Craig didn’t care though, Kenny hadn’t told him to fuck off  
  
 _I bet that’d make for an interesting explanation to other people_ He replied in amusement.  
  
 _I like this feeling. I’ve become...weirdly fond of it._ _  
__  
_Feeling? Was that what Kenny was getting when he talked to him? Well, it was something, and that was better than nothing.  
  
 _It’s odd, but right that I’ve become fond of you in such a small amount of time._ Craig tried. This time, he tried to phrase his sentences with a feeling that Kenny could glean from what he was saying.  
  
….  
 _How can he be so gentle...he headbutted me yesterday. Why is he fond of me? I’m annoying and a pain in the ass. I already got into a fight with him. We definitely got off on the wrong foot. In fact, it’s a pattern. I threaten Craig, I run away from Craig, I deny him, I tell him to fuck off, I run away again, I threaten him again. Is this soulmate bullshit? Craig wouldn’t put up with it if we weren’t linked. That makes me feel kind of forlorn and sad, and a little lonely, but I deserve it. No one would willingly put up with the way I am, right? It’s always been that way with people, I have to get in and out before...people realise what I’m like. I feel bad for Craig, he’s been forced into liking me, short end of the straw...makes me feel really sad...and.._

_Although..._

_I started liking Craig before then. Attracted to, and we ended up fighting. Kyle said we were fighting for closeness. I love fighting, but I don’t start fights that easily...It was such a stupid overreaction to a middle finger!_

_So, I can establish that okay, I wanted something from Craig from the beginning. Which had gotten worse when I’d seen Craig._ **_Oh fuck yes,_ ** _I can't deny that. I feel..elated and excited. And, the mocking waves, and the flipping off. Was that some kind of fucked up way of flirting?_

 _And we were weird during the game. Did things we wouldn’t usually. I could have shot him from afar, I didn’t. Craig couldn’t taken me out with his own gun, he didn’t. Didn’t really made logical sense. Fucking Kyle. Smartass. So even before they'd linked they'd liked each other. They liked each other? He liked Craig? Craig liked him? Even before?_ _  
__  
__…._ _  
__  
_Craig was honestly surprised at how easily he could hear Kenny. It was as if Kenny’s thought’s had a wide open door, and Kenny hadn’t realised it was wide open.  
  
 _Of course I like you. I knew I liked you the minute I met you. It’s not like you need to link to like someone._ _  
__  
_And Craig felt something then. It raced up and down, and lit up all his nerve endings. It felt like the jolt of adrenaline, but without the fear or panic associated with it. This was…  
  
What was this?  
  
Craig could feel that Kenny felt fleetingly happy in response to what he had said.. And then he realised.  
  
Kenny was laughing.  
  
And Craig couldn’t help but be pleased that he had caused that. And it was an intense and amazing sensation.  
  
 _You have no idea do you? How glad I am that you’re not upset, and that you can laugh. That I made you laugh._ _  
__  
__Wait. You felt my laughter?_

Craig wasn’t sure if Kenny had actually heard him, or was responding to the feelings from what he had said, 

_Yeah. I did._

_This...is weird.._

_It is. Nothing seems quite like explained, but it’s kind of fun figuring out these things._

_So. Craig isn’t thinking out loud in terms of feelings and emotions, but that's how I get them. I guess it’s the same the other way around? Maybe I can ask Craig-Wait. No. I’m not planning on anything beyond tonight. I shouldn't even be doing this! But...uh... Ah fuck it. I won’t promise this fucker anything. But hell, they could have tonight. I feel wistful and slightly hopeful. Just for tonight. Just in this small admission. I want to feel good. Just a little. For once._

**_Okay, despite my wishes, I like you, you attractive asshole. I somehow, despite everything, despite the fact that we fought, and the fact I don’t even know you...I like you a fucking lot. Like, I don't just go around punching random people for stupid reasons believe it or not. And I blame this whole soulmate thing. Even though I just established, and you almost certainly heard me prove to the contrary. So...fuck you I guess?_ ** **_  
_** **_  
_** Craig knew that Kenny liked him. He could see it under the feelings Kenny shared loudly. Under the anger and the fear, Kenny knew he liked Craig, and Craig knew that fact too, it wasn’t really something they could deny. Well, Kenny had tried, and Craig had wanted him to decide what he wanted to do. He didn’t want Kenny to feel he was forced into liking him, so even though it had been one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, he’d let Kenny go, because...  
  
 _I like you too_ was what he sent back. It was simple, not much behind it, but it was honest, and whatever Kenny got from that, he hoped it would portray how he felt.  
  
 _Fuck. How the hell-tell-feeling affectionate-giant bag of dicks?! Oh wait. That was how. Sorta. Pretty sure there was irritation mixed in there, and it might not have been the feeling so much as the words...but maybe that worked?_ _  
__  
_What? Craig wasn’t sure what the hell Kenny was trying to send, but it felt like he’d tried to send something, and it hadn’t gone quite right...and he couldn’t help but find it entertaining.  
  
 **_This is so weird. Does this happen with all soulmates? Are we even soulmates?_ **

  
  


_I wonder about that too. This isn’t exactly..normal._ _  
__  
__Imagine if I talked with Craig, and he only spoke in single words, like "Curious. Amused."_ _  
__  
_That was how he sounded to Kenny?  
  
And then he felt Kenny laugh again. He loved this. And he hoped that somehow Kenny knew that. 

_Fuck, this is fun, and addictive. I could drown in this all night. I feel elated and excited and curious and happy._ _  
  
_

_You sound so much better when you’re happy._

_I wanna figure this out. Like, can I use any word, and associate it with a sensation? Was it just feeling sensations, or were there others?_ _  
__  
_Kenny was so curious. Craig wondered if this would always be the way for them. He’d always get thoughts, and Kenny would always get emotions.

_Huh, Is Craig just as curious about it as I am? Or is Craig pointing out how curious I seem?_ _  
__  
__Bit of column A, bit of column B._

_I’m…embarrassed. Craig has taken all this in his stride. I’ve just freaked out about it. I’m fucking this up in every way, at every single step. I’m a class A dick aren’t I? And not in the cool, sexy way…_ _  
__  
_And Craig couldn’t help it. He laughed. Thankfully, Clyde was fast asleep, and hard to wake up even when not drunk sleeping.  
  
And they’d continued, clumsily trying to communicate between them, until Kenny had grown tired. And Craig could tell, as the thoughts had started to compound into one another and slow down, and although Craig could keep up, he could feel that Kenny was losing consciousness. So he’d let him sleep.  
  
And for a while after, he’d considered how a lot had changed in a few hours.  
  
And now? As he’d watched the group get into the truck to head to the restaurant, he realised that it had been Clyde and Kenny’s dislike that had brought them together, in an odd way.  
  
  


* * *

  
Craig hadn't ever really considered luck a thing. Things happened, and you learned how to deal with them. So when the bronze medal blond had chosen to sit next to Clyde, that left a space...next to Kenny. And he’d thought for one of the first times that he’d been unlucky.  
Kenny had all but ignored him, focusing on what seemed to be picking verbal fights with his friends, that they reassured his group were totally normal.  
  
He vaguely recalled telling Clyde to fuck off at a suggestion, which had caused people to laugh. He supposed that matching his interior with his exterior made for great entertainment. He was officially as deadpan and irked internally as he looked externally. And he was letting it stew inside him.  
  
 _“Even though it hurts inside you won’t show it. Keep telling yourself it could always be worse.”_ _  
__  
_And Craig had zoned out from the talk at the table. He was reminding himself that this was the better option, and regretting it didn’t mean it shouldn’t be done.  
And then he’d heard Kenny mutter something. And the blond, despite the fact Craig had closed himself off, still leaked his thoughts out enough for Craig to sense them. It wasn’t a good sign.  
  
“I fucking swear, this had better be coincidence…” And Kenny felt...eerily on edge. As if waiting for a deer to step into his sights before pouncing. And Craig glanced over at what he was so frustrated by.  
  
And Leo and Clyde were holding up their hands.  
  
Which were glowing  
And they had similar soulmarks, in the same locations.  
  
Oh fuck. He knew Kenny was protective over Leo. And he hated Clyde. It was a disastrous cocktail  
  
Kenny sat up straight.  
  
He didn’t want to, but if Kenny went for Clyde…  
  
We're.."  
  
Craig didn’t want to choose between two people he cared about. And he realised that he wasn’t. This wasn’t solely about protecting Clyde as he’d first thought. Craig _knew_ the other he was doing it. 

Kenny twitched.

He didn’t want Kenny to regret what he was going to do. When he cooled down, he knew Kenny would regret it. He’d hate that he’d ruined this moment for Leo. He’d hate himself. 

“...Guess we’re bro-bonded?”

“You motherfucker...”

Craig, mind made up, moved quickly, grabbing Kenny by the back of his shirt. 

_Kenny...please..._

"Don't." Craig found leaving his mouth. His internal still matched the external. It was stoic and harsh, and he couldn’t revert it in time for this conversation.

Kenny’s eyes flashed with anger and warning.

"Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me."  
  
 _I know you’ll regret this. I don’t want that._

"Don't ruin it for them." Was what he actually said. 

Kenny moved to quickly stand. Craig held his shirt tightly 

"Let go." Kenny said quietly, a storm brewing in his eyes. 

_You will hate doing this later on. You will regret it, I promise you_

"Gonna leave them alone?"  
  
His words were so different to his thoughts.

Kenny wrenched away, standing. Craig stood. 

"So, you give a fuck about this stuff when it's Clyde, huh? Well ain't that fucking sugary sweet of you!“

_What? This isn’t about that! We both know we’re both in bad moods._

"Don't take your bad mood out on them." Craig felt a tinge of anger and indignation, even though he tried to assure himself it was because of the way he was saying things, that Kenny didn’t hear what he was thinking, but it didn’t stop the cool fury from building. 

  
  


"My bad mo-If you wanted to get into a fight, you're going the right fucking way about it." And Kenny was in Craig's face, but Craig could _hear_ the hurt in Kenny’s very being. It dripped from his voice, his eyes, his tone, under the anger.  
  
 _I won’t fight you. Not like this._

But his external self glared at Kenny.

"Whoah whoah, we don't need to be fighting. Kenny, no one needs to be fighting right now, yeah?"

"Don't do it dude. You'll regret it." 

_How did we get to this? Why do you want to fight so much?_

"Come on, dude. Let's go outside for some air." And Kenny’s dark haired friend put a hand on Kenny’s shoulder.

"Fine. I won't touch your precious, perfect Clyde or ruin his happily ever after. You can sit happy knowing that I won't be here to spoil the celebrations. Stay the fuck away from me from now on."

"I'll go stand with him. He could probably do with someone in his corner right now. You guys order up, I’ll be back. Get Mr Pissed off something with chicken. Make mine the burger deluxable, with fries. Make ours to go. I'll be back to grab it."

"Need any help?" 

"Nah. Just wanna make sure it isn't a repeat of the Raisins incident."

Craig had sat down. The conversations had occurred, he was too busy reminding himself. It was better Kenny didn’t want to see him, it was better Kenny didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to be around him.  
  
Craig went back to his mantra. And instead, remembered the last moments of the person who had said it to them as they had laid dying.  
  
 _Coughing up blood, covered in blood, beard bloodied, teeth red, and still, this person was grinning at him._ _  
__“Remember Tucker. It’s a fucking tough life. People don’t give a shit, especially in this business. Want my advice? Get the fuck out while you can, no amount of money is worth this life. And remember, no matter what happens, even if it hurts inside, don’t show it. That’s how they get you. And whatever happens to you, remember, you won’t be the last, and you weren’t the first. Keep fucking telling yourself, it could always be worse.”_ _  
__  
_  
  
It could always be worse _._

* * *

  
  
  


Craig had watched Kenny cry tonight. And he hated it. He’d thought that he’d hidden it well, but it had been so obvious to him. And that was a curse. Because he had to watch from over here, and couldn’t do a thing to fix it.  
  
And as the evening had progressed, Craig had found that he was becoming angry. At himself, at Kenny, at everyone. And it settled in him like ice, refusing to budge. His anger wasn’t like Kenny’s. His froze, became cold, immovable, and harsh.  
  
“Craig.”  
  
Craig wanted to ignore him. He’d seen Tweek drag Kenny outside. Tweek was plotting, and he didn’t want any part of it.  
  
“Tucker, look at me.”  
  
Tweek only used his last name when he was pissed with him. Didn’t work quite as well when Craig tried the same on Tweek.  
  
Reluctantly, Craig did turn to look at the blond, who looked less than impressed.  
  
“So, you’ve proper fucked him up.” was Tweek’s inspiring opening.  
  
“I have.” Was Craig’s cool reply.  
  
“Don’t you start with this Tucker. I know what you’re doing.”  
  
And Craig shrugged.  
  
Tweek placed his phone on the table, tangled in earphones.  
  
“Press play. Listen to it. I’ll be back to delete it once you’re done.” Was all he said.  
  
And Craig considered ignoring him, but despite that fleeting thought, put the earbuds in, and pressed play.  
  
 _“That guy has caused me more problems over the past weekend than I’ve ever had in my entire life. I’ve literally gone from angry to crying to screaming in my truck, to hysterical psycho laughter, to crying, to deliriously happy, to fucking hurt and back to fucking crying in the space of 48 hours. I have probably looked insane to every passerby and probably my closest friends. I almost jumped over a table tonight...which isn’t that unusual I guess...but let’s pretend it is. I lost my shit out of pure frustration and the certainty that the edge of sanity I’ve been standing on this entire weekend crumbled beneath my fucking feet.”_ _  
__  
_Kenny’s voice was pained, and Craig hated that it hurt to hear it.

_"And your asshole of a friend Clyde decides that he hasn't been enough of a prick this weekend, he decides to steal Leo in the most binding way possible. And then my soulmate decides that they both need protecting from me. Like I would even touch a hair on Leo's head! That Clyde's feelings need to be FUCKING PROTECTED, because we can't let him feel hurt, oh no. It's fine though, Kenny can take it instead, S'all good!"_

And Craig knew he’d fucked that up. He hadn’t explained himself properly. Kenny had thought it was about protecting Clyde from him. 

_“And okay, I wasn’t-I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but fuck, it would be fucking glorious if I could go just one day without having to deal with the fact that I’ve fallen so fucking insanely, crazily hard for your fucking ASSHOLE of a friend, who I might add beat the shit out of me when we first met."_

_“And you wanna know the worst part about all of this? I don’t get to keep him. After years and fucking years of not even considering the idea that there was someone for me on this shitstain excuse for a planet, I get a glimpse, and JUST when I decide “fuck it, take a chance Kenny”, the reality of the situation hits, he shuts me out, locks the fucking DOORS, and now I’m here, spending the possibly last night with him not only avoiding him, but fighting with him, him needing to protect people from me, protect their soulmate bond, because it's a precious, precious thing right? And somehow talking with you or something, because it’s too hard to be anywhere near him currently. Hey, I get it, it fucking sucks, but I get it.”_

_“So I decide that all wanna do is get drunk, dance and maybe find someone here to fuck around with, someone to take the edge off. But I can’t even do that, because they’re not tall enough, or they don’t have black hair, or FUCKING AMBER EYES, seriously, fuck his eyes, just...who the fuck asked him to look like that? A room full of drunk, attractive people, and I realise, ‘oh fuck’. No one is ever gonna be good enough ever again, I’m basically ruined for anyone else, and it’s hilarious , because I haven’t even done anything with him and I still know that no one else will come close to what I know he’s capable of, and it’s all HIS FAULT.”_

Craig sat there for a moment, and then pressed play to repeat it again. It was amazing how they’d misunderstood one another, and how pissed off that made the both of them. 

Kenny was...angry, so, so angry. And his anger was harsh, fast, erratic. And as he pressed play to listen again, he remembered another of Tweek’s interventions.  
  
He’d woken up this morning to the feeling of emptiness. So, threadsnap. And he’d sighed, wanting to go back to sleep. He glanced at the clock. Barely 7.  
  
And his phone vibrated.  
  
 **Tweek:** _Let’s go get breakfast._ _  
_Craig: _Okay, lemme shower and shit._  
Tweek: _It’s only breakfast, let’s go now._ _  
_ **Craig:** _Now? Like right this minute? Why the rush?_  
 **Tweek:** _I promise you won’t regret it. Breakfast...will make you feel better._  
  
And Craig had raised an eyebrow at that enigmatic statement, but had gotten up. And Clyde, despite drinking heavily the night before, heard him, and upon inquiring where he was going, and that it would be for food, jumped up and tried to find his left shoe.  
  
And a few minutes later, they were locking the door, and Tweek was there, sitting on the hood of the SUV. He hopped off and headed over to the backseat as Clyde called a loud “I CALL SHOTGUN!”  
  
And Craig did not understand Tweek’s sudden desperation for breakfast. He tended to forego it for just coffee anyway.  
  
And then, the gnawing disappeared.  
  
And the screaming began. And Craig did not know what the hell was going on, until he saw the silver truck.  
  
 _Great. Now Craig knows I’m crazy. Cool._

And then the laughter. This was different. The laughter hurt...it was razor sharp, and zipped carelessly. This wasn’t the same kind of laughter as last night. 

_Kenny? What’s wrong?_ _  
__  
__..._

 _I should stop laughing. And crying. Or maybe I should start screaming again. Make it a crazy sundae hat trick._ _  
__  
__…_ _  
__  
_Craig looked to Tweek, who glanced at him, unsurprised. And Craig waited for Clyde to get out.  
“You saw him didn’t you?” he spoke in a low voice.  
“I told you. Going to get breakfast would make you feel better.” And Tweek shrugged, getting out.  
  
“We’ll grab food. Any preference?”  
  
Craig waved the question off. He didn’t care about food at the moment. And Clyde left it, heading off with Tweek.  
  
 _You wanna talk?_

_I’m scared._

_It’s fine. Come talk._

And the blond eventually leant against the SUV, next to his window. 

“Hey stranger, up for a fun time? Half price for you.” 

_Half price huh? You’re majorly underselling yourself_ Craig thought in amusement. 

“So. How’s things this morning sweetheart? Sleep well?”  
  
Craig scoffed. Even after a meltdown, Kenny was joking and flirting with him. 

“...You okay?” He asked.

_If you’re not, you can tell me._

Kenny laughed. Another unpleasant feeling one. 

“Not really, man.”

  
  


Craig hummed a reply.  
  
 _I wonder if..._

“You gonna freak out if I get out of the car?” He asked carefully.

_I won’t if you don’t want me to._

“I’m sure I can control myself, just for you.” 

_Craig knows Craig knows I’m worried._

“Huh…” Craig glanced at him.  
  
 _What’s up?_

“Guess I was worried. After yesterday, not being able to move and all that. Thought it would happen again. But this...is okay?” Kenny looked up at the sky.

“...You didn’t learn about any of this, did you?”

_Fuck, I’m obvious aren’t I?_

_  
__Well...there are clues. Yeah, you’re giving off that vibe._

And Craig almost smiled, but managed to temper it into a smirk as he glanced sideways to meet Kenny’s gaze.  
  
And Kenny looked intense. Dark undereyes, blue, vivid gaze, hair that stuck up slightly in an endearing way. He didn’t know if the look was cute, sleepy ‘just woke up’, or ‘just been fucked’. It...well he knew Kenny was attractive, and even with lack of sleep, it only accentuated his features. It was a look that suited him.

_Poor Craig. I was given Craig, Craig only gets me. I’m pretty awesome. Just not....great soulmate material._

_I disagree. I definitely got the better end of the deal here._

_Ah, I’m embarrassed, dammit!_  
  
Craig didn’t call attention to it, simply looking away, his smirk slightly more pronounced.

_I like that I can make you blush_

_You’re an asshole. I’m being playful though, so don’t take it the wrong way._  
  
Craig scoffed again, almost smiling.

_This is so much more fun when watching the emotions physically on the person._

_I agree._

And Kenny flushed, looking away. 

“What was that earlier?” Craig asked

“What?”

_When you screamed, and then laughed, and then cried._

  
  


_Oh right. That. That little thing._

“Ah. Sorry about that. Been a tough morning.”

_What happened? Wanna talk about it?_ _  
  
_

“You...were right. I’ve never learned about any of...this. Like ever. Bit of a system shock, you know?” He gestured with his hands.

  
 _Why is all this such a surprise to you?_ _  
  
_

Kenny sighed lightly, holding up his left arm slightly.

“This wasn’t supposed to be a mark. It was just a dumb tattoo right? I put it over my mark, or apparently the mark that was there. Couldn’t see that shit with a microscope though. So, I reasoned that I don’t-uh..didn’t have one. It doesn’t show up. So, I figured, no point learning about something I didn’t have, or worrying about not having something or someone out there.”

“...Idiot.” It wasn’t exactly what Craig had meant to say, but he was better with thoughts than words. 

_  
__You have someone. You have me, just like I have you. We have each other._

  
  
Except, as Craig pressed play on the recording on the phone again, that wasn’t currently the case. And earbuds were pulled out of his ears, Tweek wrapping them around the phone.  
  
And the music from the club hit him once again, Kenny’s angered and hurt words gone.  
  
“So, are you going to do something about it?” Tweek asked, looking over at Kenny, who was walking away, Leo following him.  
  
And Craig saw a bloodied smile.  
  
“ _Remember Tucker. It’s a fucking tough life.”_ _  
__  
_And Craig nodded. He wasn't sure whether it was to Tweek, or the last words of a bloodied grin.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Kenny had taken Clyde outside. Craig had always found it odd that Kenny insisted on calling Clyde Letterman, even after learning his name. What was it about Clyde that made Kenny hate him so much? To the point where he’d stopped Kenny going for him twice now. And he should feel outraged at that, that Kenny had tried to attack one of his friends.  
  
Kenny shouldn’t get a special pass.  
  
But Kenny was good at doing things that no one else would be allowed to get away with. He’d not worn his cap out tonight. He’d always worn something on his head growing up. Usually some kind of cap, occasionally a chullo if it was cold in the winter. He’d done it since he was a kid. Except for a few occasions. Like tonight. And earlier on today.  
  
He’d been inside with Token grabbing some of the bags and loading up when he heard the familiar voice from outside.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Your name is fucking CLYDE? What kinda shitty name is that?” 

“Hey fellas, we don’t need to be fightin’. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot, right? Maybe after the game, we should hang out or something. We don’t gotta be enemies.”

“...Dammit Leo.” 

“See, it’s not such a bad idea. Whatcha say, let’s go for food or something.”

“C’mon guys.”

“Butters, they’re Cherry Creek.” 

“So?”

“You know. School rivalries and all that.”

“But, aren’t we all done with school?” 

“Dammit Leo, ruining the fun by being logical.”  
  
  
 _Having fun?_ Craig sent to Kenny. They’d been getting better with communication, and Craig had learned that shorter phrases to a few words were more likely to get across. 

Kenny looked over at him.  
  
 _Clyde. What a dumb name._

“Are we having a punch up?” Kenny’s friend had spoken up, and Kenny had glanced from his friend, to him.

Craig raised an eyebrow. 

_I’ll go gentle on you._ He teased.  
  
  
Kenny was hesitating. 

“Kinny! What the fuck, we could totally take em! Da fuck are you waiting for?”

_Wanna go round two Kenny?_

Kenny sucked in a breath.  
  
 _Ugh, him saying my name is doing weird, gooey, sappy, disgusting things to my insides. Fuck, he can probably hear this._

_Can definitely hear this. Do go on._

_Yeah I fucking get it you asshole. I hope you drown in all your smugness._

“Nah. I don’t feel like it” Kenny said indifferently.

_Fucking hate everyone right now._

“Psh, knew it, you’re scared aren’t you?”

 _Letterman is so...so...SO incredibly lucky he’s friends with Craig. ONLY thing protecting him at this stage._ _  
__  
_It was good to hear that Kenny was resisting his want to go for Clyde because of him.

“I’m bored of this shit, and these guys. Let’s head over to the arena before I fall asleep listening to them.” 

“We should totally grab food afterwards with them though.”

“That sounds like a great idea f..ff...fellas.”

"Oh hey, I know a GREAT club in town." 

“Yeah, what the fuck ever, sure.”  
  
 _So, Leo isn’t my only weakness anymore...._

_Fucking fuckers. The lot of them._

And Craig felt the shift in mood. From irritation to mischief. And he watched, heavily suspicious as Kenny sauntered over.

_You are being so incredibly suspicious right now. If you’re trying to be incognito, it’s not working._

_Oh yeah, I'm up to something, but you don't know what_.

 _Ah you know you are my sweetheart, you're the apple of my eye, to you I'd bared my soul, without a question why. I'll always do my very best to never make you cry. I'll care for you and love you true until the day I die._

Craig was so confused. Kenny was singing in his head. And it was all he could pick up from him.  
  


And Kenny finally stood before Craig.  
  
 _I’m both very curious, and very suspicious. What do you have planned Kenny?_

_You were so much better than me at this whole mind/soul thing, but I've figured out a little more of it now._ _  
_Oh, he got it. The singing had been a way of showing Craig that he’d learned to block out his mind. And Craig could help but feel proud by how quickly Kenny had picked it up.  
  
 _That’s pretty impressive._ _  
  
_

"Ah don't worry about times ahead, the future is unknown, with every bend and crossroads, you'll never be alone, and if the days get darker, and the restless winds they blow, then in the dust, we can trust our love will take us home."

"Ever heard that song before?" Kenny asked Craig.  
  
 _No_

"Should I have?"

"Well, I suppose not. Still, if you had, would have been fortuitous." Kenny offered a smile. 

_There’s something else...But I don’t know what..._

"Why's that?"

"Wanna hear the chorus first?"

Craig shrugged as if he didn't care either way. He did.  
  
 _Show me what you’ve got planned cutie._

And Kenny shot out a hand, grabbing the hat off Craig's head, dancing backwards, looking incredibly pleased with himself as he put it on his own head.

"Hold on to your hat, as we drive this road together, hold on to your hat, and we'll see all kinds of weather, hold on to your hat, as we drive this road together, hold on to your hat, say you'll be mine forever."

And Craig felt...such mixed feelings.  
  
 _You’re adorable, and give me my fucking hat, even if you look amazing in it, and I like that you’re wearing something of mine, but it’s my damn hat and I want it back_ _  
__  
_And Craig felt self conscious without it, and had to resist running a hand through his hair in worry.

"I think I'll keep hold of this for now Craig. You won't miss it much, right?"  
  
 _You KNOW I want it back. You know I do._

  
_Aww, don't get mad. I can't fight you, so I guess that means I get my revenge this way huh? How you liking it?_

  
  


Was it possible to feel embarrassed he’d let it happen, affectionate and exasperated towards the person that had stolen it, but also oddly proud he’d managed it, but also plotting revenge. And he had a few ideas on how to do it.  
  
And he’d been glaring at Kenny, who looked..surprised that he was. And then heavily amused.  
  
 _There’s...a light in his eyes, like...Craig has come to life. And that spark of 'whatever', makes Craig's eyes difficult to break gazes with. It’s like staring at an animal that after days of pursuit, had finally hunted you down. Craig has pretty eyes. Like, really really pretty. They are almost fucking glowing…_

 _  
__I want you._ Craig had forgotten his cap, listening to Kenny’s thoughts. 

_Aww, you want your cap. Come and take it then._

Craig hadn’t bothered correcting Kenny. He knew what he’d do the next time he saw him. And it had nothing to do with retrieving his cap.  
  
And he glanced up then, at Clyde...with Kenny in his half hug position.  
  
...They’d made up?  
  
Kenny had met his gaze, and looked away.  
  
  
  
Fuck.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The group had been gathering to leave when Craig felt the threadsnap, and without even thinking about it, he’d stood up. There was no way that anywhere in the vicinity of the club was enough distance for it to snap.  
  
So he’d approached Kyle, who’d been sitting with Tweek once again.  
  
“Kenny. You seen him?”  
  
“Planning to make amends?” Tweek asked, swirling the liquid in his bottle.  
  
“Threadsnap.”  
  
And that’s all it took for Tweek to go from disinterested to alert.  
  
“When?”  
  
“Just now.”  
  
“Ah shit..” Kyle muttered.  
“Where are the others?”  
  
  
“Outside. Was just waiting for Tweek to finish his drink.”  
  
“I’m done. Let’s go.” Tweek declared.  
  
And they’d gone outside, whilst looking for the last of the stragglers, Kyle dialling Kenny.  
  
  


“Hey. We’re gonna drive back to the motel now and couldn’t...find you. Where are you? Smoker’s area?”

There was a pause, and Kyle’s eyes widened. 

“Wait, you’re fucking walking the streets of a city we’ve never been to before, alone at night? And you decided this was a good idea why?”

And Craig felt two feelings simultaneously.  
  
Fear  
  
And anger.  
  
  
“Wait, Kenny’s out in the city somewhere?” Leo asked  
  
“Why Kenny, why?” Stan sighed. 

“Kyle”  
  
Kyle looked to him.  
  
“Let me talk to him.”  
  
“Don’t make it worse.” Tweek warned him as Kyle handed it over.

_“-I have google maps. Kyle? Look, stop worrying-”_

“Kenny.”  
  
 _Where are you? Are you okay? Why the fuck did you wander off??_ Craig knew Kenny wouldn’t pick up his thoughts, but fuck!

There was a pause. 

_“...What do you want?”_

“Whereabouts are you?” _  
__  
_Craig was angry, but Tweek was right, he shouldn’t make this worse.

_“It doesn’t fucking matter. Put Kyle back on.”_

_No! Tell me where the fuck you are!_

“Tell me where you are.”

_“I’m heading back to the fucking motel. Get off my back.”_

_That’s not enough. Give me specifics._

“Which road?”

_“The none of your fucking business road.”_

Craig sighed, willing the annoyance out of his body.  
  
 _Even though it hurts inside you won’t show it._ _  
__  
_Funny how that mantra cracked more and more the longer he spent with Kenny. And he was fucking done playing games with Kenny.

“Two options. Tell me, or keep everyone up while we look for you.” And Craig went for Kenny’s weakness ruthlessly. Because even if it meant pissing him off, he’d do whatever it took to keep him safe. 

There was a sigh, and a few moments later, a pin sent to the phone. Craig opened it, looking at the location.

_“There. Happy fucker?”_

“Stay there.” Craig replied shortly, trying to ignore the antagonism. He was only ten minutes drive away. 

_“For fuck’s sake...You realise I am an adult, right?”_ _  
__  
__It’s not safe wandering a city you don’t know late at night. Why would you even think something like that was okay??_

“Adults don’t wander off alone into the streets of an unknown city at 1am in the morning without telling anyone.” Craig’s tone was cold.

Kenny sighed heavily.

 _“Fuuuuuck man! Bring on tomorrow. At least I won’t have to deal with your fucking bullshit anymore. Overprotective much?”_ _  
__  
_That had hurt. A lot  
  
 _Even though it hurts inside you won’t-_ _  
__  
_Fuck this mantra. Fuck. It.  
  
 _Just keep telling yourself it could always be-_ _  
_  
_It couldn’t be worse! If Kenny died, it could not fucking be worse!_ _  
__  
_He was done with them. And he was done with this. He’d find Kenny, and if he was safe, they would talk.

There was silence for a moment.

“If you didn’t act like a fucking child, I wouldn’t need to.” And Craig knew he was letting his anger get the best of him. He didn’t care. Kenny was worrying people, his friends, everyone. Even if he didn’t care that he was worrying Craig, there were other people he should be worrying about. 

_“Fuck you. No one asked you to. You just don’t like the feeling that I’m out of range of our fucking link.”_

Craig was done. They were wasting time. And he was halfway to his SUV when he remembered he couldn’t drive, but Token was there, hand on shoulder.  
  
“I got you dude.”  
  
And later, Craig would thank Token properly, but for now...  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


And they’d found Kenny, and he’d ignored everyone. And Craig could feel the anger and simmering rage and hatred and feeling of being trapped.  
  
And Tweek and Kyle, between them, had arranged things so neither of them could avoid talking. And he was planning to.  
  
Except Kenny was outside being stubborn. And honestly, were this day different, he’dve probably given Kenny his space, but things had changed, and they did not have time to waste on this.  
  
So he’d opened the door, stepping outside.  
  
And he hadn’t even asked. Before Kenny had time to even suspect, he’d picked him up, and ignoring his anger, his rage, had walked him back to the room. Because he'd remembered some things. The first was the promise he'd made to himself. 

He’d promised to chase this blond storm, for good or for ill.  
  
And Craig remembered one last thing from the bloodied smile as it spoke..  
  
 _“Tucker. I’ve told you a lot tonight. And I’m on my last legs now, I can feel it. But, you were always good at the game, always took my advice, even if most of it was bullshit. But if you only remember one thing, remember, and take this to heart, especially when the world fights you, and pushes you down, tries to keep your head low to the ground. When everything is at its worst, and you can’t ignore it anymore. Just tell yourself…”_ _  
__  
__And the smile had grinned it’s last bloody smile._ _  
__  
__“…when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”_

  
  


* * *


	10. Ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, then. See you around Tucker.”
> 
> “Later McCormick.”

* * *

##  **CHAPTER NINE**

##  **Ask**

* * *

  
  
Chapter Nine Song (both): Simple Minds - Don’t You (Forget About Me)   
  


* * *

This.  
  
  
  
This was so FUCKING embarrassing. How the hell had this even happened? When he’d heard the door open, he’d ignored it, focusing on his music, eyes closed, just listening. And because of that small, simple mistake, Kenny had been caught completely off guard. One moment he’d been listening to Abba, the next, his world had shifted, and his reflexes were nothing in the face of being slung over the shoulders of someone.  
  
He said ‘someone’. It hadn’t taken very long to realise and recognise the culprit. The first nanosecond, he was..amazed that it had taken so little effort. And then it had quickly kicked in what the purpose of this maneuver was, and his pride and fighting instinct had kicked in. Except by the time it had, he was unable to fight back in any effective sort of way. He could struggle, and swear and curse and make a racket, but in the end, none of it had really worked out for him.  
  
And Kenny was almost spitting fire by the time Craig eventually dumped him on one of the beds in the hotel room.  
Someone was going to pay for this. He was not someone who could be carried around when he didn’t do as expected. Oh ho no. And there was only one other person in Kenny’s immediate proximity.   
  
“What the fuck Craig?!” He spat angrily as he sat up. Craig had….fucking _carried_ him in here. Like a sack of fucking potatoes. And he was pretty sure that it was definitely anger he felt. He wasn’t hiding any sort of shame that he’d been so easily carried.   
Fuck. Fuck everything. Fuck this guy especially. And he looked up into eyes that held the slightest irritation under the cool gaze.   
Oh. Craig was annoyed was he? Well Kenny didn’t recall Craig being forcefully carried into a motel room against his will. Craig didn’t have anything remotely _close_ to a right to be angry.  
  
  
 _We can’t leave things like this.  
_ _  
_ _  
_“Fuck off! I’m NOT talking to you about this. Externally or internally!” And Kenny stood up, marching over to the door. Except Craig was faster, and in one grab of the wrist, had him pulled back onto the bed.  
  
“We need to talk.” was all Craig said, stood by the bed calmly, despite the look of irritation in his gaze. And fuck Kenny wanted to break something at that fucking frigid calmness. Maybe Craig’s face. That wasn’t the worst idea...  
  
[ _Irked_ ]  
  
  
 _Fuck off! I don’t care how you feel! Go fucking hide behind your ice wall again!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Calm down...  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_“Fuck. You. There’s enough calmness in this fucking room! You’re always so fucking calm, it’s driving me fucking crazy!” Kenny had dealt with calmness and coldness all day, and he was not in the mood to speak to an icicle at the moment. And being forced to was shredding apart any semblance of self control. And anger was _such_ a good response. Better than hurt, or tears, or fear or vulnerability, anger made him feel powerful, like he was in control. When presented with the options, he chose anger. He chose to ignore and cover everything else up that he felt, to instead paint over it all in rage.   
  
And fully enraged, Kenny stood, forcefully pushing past Craig, his destination, the door, taking a small amount of satisfaction in barging shoulders with Craig. But this turned out to be a bad move, as the motion simply gave Craig closer proximity to manoeuvre him onto the bed once again. And it had been done firmly, but with no real anger. And oh how that stoked the fires of hell that currently raged inside Kenny.   
  
The angle wasn’t ideal, but he was from this position, able to swing at Craig. And Craig hadn’t expected his punch, so the hit connected, catching him right in the lip. The force was surprisingly measured. Yes, Kenny was angry at Craig, and yes, he wanted to hurt him, but there was also a small part of him that had held back with the hit. Craig wasn’t the only one that could measure and aim his attacks. Kenny had been in enough fights to know what he was doing.   
  
And the realisation struck him around the same time his fist did Craig’s lip.   
  
Their first fight had been the same. Back then, Kenny had thought it was a simple fight. But he’d been holding back against Craig, and he hadn’t even realised until now. He knew the best ways to incapacitate someone, the best ways to make them stop and quit. Painful, nasty moves. Moves that could scar and damage. And he hadn’t done any of them. Partly because it hadn’t been Kenny fighting for his life, or in a scenario in which his opponent needed to fall. They had been effectively ‘play fighting’.   
  
And the thought was enough to spur him on, away from Craig, because he didn't want to think about the meaning behind his shoddy moves both back then, and right now. Because he could have hit a lot harder, and he had enough anger to fuel it. But he’d pulled his punch. Somewhere, in his stupid subconscious, under everything, he didn’t really want to hurt Craig. And that made Kenny even angrier, because he was good at hurting, and Craig had taken that from him by being him.   
  
So instead of dwelling on it, he took his chance, and took it quickly. He bolted for the door. As long as he got outside, they’d be on equal footing, and he wouldn’t have to confront any of...this mess that was rattling and hurtling around inside his brain. In here, in this room, Craig had the advantage, no longer just by matter of getting him here to start with, but now, that punch was a reminder, that even at Kenny’s most pissed off, he still fucking cared for this asshole enough to hold back. And Kenny wasn’t about to stay in this room and be forced to acknowledge that.   
  
Except...  
  
Despite his valiant effort to escape...

Once afuckinggain, Craig was somehow faster. Despite having just been punched, despite Kenny having self proclaimed ‘better reflexes’. He was starting to wonder if that was even true anymore. Especially from his current...predicament, having been returned once again to the bed.  
  
This time was very different. He wasn’t given the luxury of freedom of movement. He’d had his chance and had squandered it. This time, Craig apparently wasn’t taking any chances, and had decided that he needed to be restrained. A logical decision considering Kenny’s past attempts, but Kenny was pretty sure that Craig had not thought this through enough, because this brought an entirely new plethora of problems. Because it wasn’t bad enough that he had to hide everything else under anger, this just added a new feeling to the list.   
And Kenny could’ve laughed at how cliche this seemed. This was the moment the person he liked straddled him. How sweet.   
  
It pissed him off.   
  
And if he was honest, he hadn’t expected this type of scenario to be paired with a desire to fight the person doing the straddling. Plus, he’d always thought he’d be the one on top. He was usually the one that overpowered, so this was both cliche, but also weird in its reversal of expectations. And he didn’t want any of it. It was fucking annoying, and made him angrier. He was so pissed off that Craig was strong enough to be able to hold him down, that even in an anger fuelled state, he couldn’t escape the hold on his wrists, on his body. How was that even fucking fair?   
  
_Fucking pain in the ass. Sit fucking still! This isn’t helping either of us!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Fuck. You. Asshole! I don’t wanna talk to you. Get the fuck off me!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Kenny, fucking look at me._   
  
  
Absolutely avoiding any sort of eye contact, Kenny instead tested his movement range with quick, sharp pulling and pushing movements, hoping to slip free, but Craig held fast, fingers tightly wrapped around wrists and held at Kenny's sides. Legs far longer than his own had no issue pinning down his kicking and bucking. There was no room for argument physically, and despite Kenny's best attempts he found that he was given little to no leeway. Every slightest attempt was quickly thwarted and subdued.   
  
He was pinned under Craig good and proper.   
  
Not where he wanted to be.   
  


Looking off to the side with a sharp sigh that was tinged with growl, he took a moment to catch his breath and consider his possibilities.   
He couldn’t kick, or punch, clawing was out of the picture, and he didn’t have the range or the movement to headbutt. He’d tried to elbow, and were his wrists pinned above him, that might’ve worked, but they were firmly secured at his side, which limited elbow movement. Eventually, he reasoned that he could bite. He wasn’t close enough, but it was an option if the opportunity presented itself. He wasn’t quite out of weapons yet. And his mind was absolutely running through escape plans. Quickly. _  
_   
  
And it was all going...well, not well, but he had control over his next move, whatever that would be.  
  
  
 _Stop being a fucking brat and look at me._   
  
  
And in retrospective, he shouldn’t have reacted to the insult. But instinctively, he had, glancing up.   
  
Craig was fucking _glaring_ at him with those ridiculous, intense eyes, his lip tinged red with blood. The vibrant mix of yellow and red caught his interest, and now, he couldn’t look away.   
_  
_ And Kenny could _feel_ it now. Skimming the surface feelings he’d been ignoring from this asshole up until now.   
  
Craig was _pissed._   
  
And Kenny felt vindictive satisfaction. Fucking good. At least Kenny had achieved something in all this. He’d cracked the emotionless bastard. After the entire night of being frozen out, he’d broken through and pissed him off. And he felt a lick of pleasured satisfaction at this thought that he had managed it, which he was unable to keep off of his expression. Or out of his thoughts. He _liked_ pissing Craig off. He _liked_ seeing his composure broken.   
  
And Craig’s expression darkened further.   
  
But, it wasn’t with just anger anymore. There was something else. Something that caused Kenny to flip from angrily and smugly satisfied to…   
  
-No, he’d stick to anger thank you.   
  
  
“I fucking hate you.” He growled at Craig, looking directly at him, wanting to make sure that his words hit home and that they _hurt._ Kenny wanted Craig to see that his guard was down, and that Kenny loved that he was the one to have caused it. That after being locked out, he’d found a way in, and Craig couldn’t make him leave. That he wanted to stay here, under his guard.   
  
No, wait. That wasn’t what he wanted him to see. What? What the hell? What kind of nonsense was this?   
  
Kenny looked away, confused. He was angry, was _supposed to be angry._ And he was, but there was far more going on, like his apparent satisfaction at getting closer to Craig. Yeah, that wasn’t the tone he wanted to be going for thank you.   
  
Whatever it was, it was this asshole’s fault clearly.  
  
  
 _Kenny  
_   
  
Kenny glanced back over at the thought, his confusing thoughts distracting him enough that he hadn't even considered what he was doing until he’d done it. This turned out to be a terrible, awful idea. Because Craig was still the weird mix of angry and something else Kenny was not acknowledging, (except he kinda was) because Kenny had suddenly remembered the one tiny miniscule detail of why he didn’t want to look at Craig when he was angry.   
  
Angry Craig was attractive Craig.   
  
Which might have been fine, were it not for one teensy, tiny other detail.   
  
Craig wasn’t just angry anymore, and Kenny could absolutely recognise the shift from simply ‘attractive Craig’ to this.   
  
To Kenny, this Craig was now ‘incredibly Fuckable looking Craig’. Maybe it was the mix of expressions, or the blood glistening on his lip. Whatever the hell it was, it spelt bad news.

‘Incredibly Fuckable Craig’ was equalling ‘increasingly aroused Kenny’. 

Aroused Kenny and Fuckable Craig was a terrible combination.  
  
Kenny was suddenly very, very aware of the combination of this information, the slightest shift in mood, and their current position. And oh, he _really,_ _really_ , _really_ didn’t want to be turned on, he wanted to stay fully angry rather than this weird mix of horny anger. But apparently he didn't get to make that decision. His stupid, aroused, angry, teenage, hormonal body did. And his body was well aware of the sexual tension, and wanted to do something about it. 

Kenny honestly didn’t know what to do with this information. Last time he'd been presented with such information, after the two of them had first linked, he'd run away. But there was no running this time. And he did not like where the alternative was pointing.

So, he defaulted to panic.   
  
  
“C..Craig, get the fuck off me man.”  
  
  
And wasn’t that just great? He didn’t sound angry at all. He sounded nervous, tentative.   
  
What did a bloody kiss taste like? He’d never kissed someone with a bloody mouth before. Was it weird that he really wanted to? That he wanted to kiss, lick and suck, and bite? Would Craig hate it if he bit down? Would he like it? How hard could he bite? Would Craig make noises? Would he groan or hiss? Would he retaliate? Did Kenny hope that he would? Was the thought arousing him further?  
  
 _“You guys have tonight. Pretty sure you can do more on your last night as adults than I could on my last night as a ten year old. Don’t fucking waste it.”_ _  
_ _  
_Ah fuck, why would he remember that right now? Please, please don’t let him be broadcasting any of this to Craig. He prayed he wasn't. Even though he knew that he was terrible at this whole thought thing, just once he wanted to think that he was being subtle with his thoughts.  
  
Except, when he gently, carefully poked at the surface thoughts, he could immediately tell. Craig had noticed everything. Fuck.   
Kenny flushed. Fuck this. This was stupid. Stupid fucking hormones and tension and this _fucking position._ _  
_ _  
_This was fucking embarrassing, in an entirely different way to how it had been before. In fact, he missed being embarrassed at being bested after being carried in here. Simpler times.  
  
He needed out, right now. He needed away from this. What he really needed was to look away. And yet his perverted libido kept staring with rapt fascination at the person who had pinned him.   
  
That made him angry AND panicked. And that odd mix of angry and aroused that seemed to be his current default. Fuck.  
  
  
“Craig. Please…”  
  
  
Craig was too close. And not close enough. He wanted connection, and escape.   
And he didn’t even know what he was asking Craig anymore. Get up? Move closer? Fucking grind against him? Run away? Bite him? Kiss him? Fight him? Fuck him?   
  
What was he supposed to do?  
  
All of them?  
  
And Kenny was very aware that Craig had almost closed the distance. And he was also aware that Craig had stopped. And the reason why was mortifying.   
  
Because he, the ‘playboy’ of their group, had choked out a single word.  
  
  
“Stop.”  
  
  
And Craig had. Almost touching, he’d stopped at Kenny’s panicked one word. He’d listened. And Kenny recognised the gesture for what it was. Kenny was being offered a chance to run away from this again, despite everything. Even though they were both still very angry, and now also what Kyle would quote as “erotically charged”, he’d stopped and waited.  
  
And if there was anything to cement Kenny’s decision, beyond his worry and anger, it was that. He took a breath that was far too shuddering, and he closed the distance between them. And at that moment, the tempo shifted.  
  
It was not slow, gentle or kind when they kissed. Because they’d moved into what Kenny referred to as ‘angry, aroused making out’. Because that was a combination they could both apparently agree on.   
  
They were very angry, they were very aroused.There was suddenly too much tension, and it was abusing an effective outlet. It was frustrated, delicious, biting, groaning. They were fighting all over again. And the thoughts between them as they kissed were anything but romantic.   
  
_You asshole. You fucking shut me out! And you took Clyde’s side!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I didn’t fucking take Clyde’s side. That’s not what I meant!  
_  
  
 _Oh yeah, because ‘Don’t ruin it for them’ can be seen any other fucking way!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I didn’t fucking want you to ruin things!_ _  
_ _  
  
_ _I fucking KNEW it.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _FOR YOURSELF!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _LIAR!_  
  
  
 _Why won’t you just fucking listen to anything I say?!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _You were the one who didn’t want to talk!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _When did I EVER say that??  
_  
  
 _When we were in the fucking truck, and you were all “Oh I’m sorry, I don’t do feelings. Thanks for everything though.”  
_  
  
I... _I’m...sorry._ _I handled that badly. Really badly, and I hate myself for doing that.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _..What? You can’t apologise! Not just like that! I still wanna be pissed off at you dammit! I hate you. I fucking HATE you and your fucking..this.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _……_ _  
_ _  
_ _……_ _  
_ _  
_ _…...  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _…….fuck...I…...  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _….You don’t hate me.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I do...._ _  
_ _  
  
_ _….You have an...interesting way of showing it…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _S-Shut up! Not like you’re in any sort of position to be pointing that ou-ahh, don’t...fuck just....  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I’m not trying to hide it…...huh…....you’re really sensitive huh?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Shut the f-fuck up. I don’t know how we fucking got to this, but….fuck you...ah...fuck...that feels...fuck…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _……  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _…..  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _……The sounds you make are really..mm...they’re a turn on….  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _…….  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _…...You’ve gone quiet. Well, not quiet. You’re making plenty of noise, I mean in here. You okay?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _….You’re making this very hard. Better….at this than I….  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _...Mm, someone didn’t go to class when they should have, hm? Fuck! That…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _...Revenge asshole. I’m not gonna just lie here and let you keep the upper hand. I know a few tricks too.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _……...  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _...Can’t take it huh?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _……..  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Who’s gone all quiet now, huh?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _….Fucking-  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Ah! Fuck! ……….Okay, okay, Craig, I get it! Asshole. Such a cheater….  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Take your shirt off.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I can’t. Pinned and all that.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Such a fucking smartass.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I aim to please.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Sometimes I wonder.... Fine.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Hey, hey w-wait! Ah...fuck…f...fas...er...  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _What was that? Didn’t quite catch that.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _……._ _  
_ _  
  
_ _…….  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _…..Don’t….act so smug...ah god...asshole. You know what I was asking for.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I wanna hear you ask.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _……_ _  
_ _  
  
_ _You’re blushing again.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Fuck you...Fucking hate you...  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _No you don’t.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don’t-...ngh  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don’t?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I can’t talk to you like this when you keep doing...that!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I can stop if you just wanna talk  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Don’t you fucking d-ah!_ _  
_ _  
  
_ _Mmm…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _…..fucking want...ugh….you need less clothes on. Just...I can’t fucking concentrate when you’re-fuck! Craig!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _You can do it, I believe in you.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _You’re doing this on purpose you sadistic asshole. Just let me....ngh...these...fucking buttons being...such a fucking….and that is NOT helping you asshole!  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _You’re so cute like this…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Fuck….you…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _That’s the plan babe…._ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _…._ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _….  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _….this okay?  
  
_ _  
_ _….y..yeah...just…_ _  
_ _  
_ _……_ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _…..f…_ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _…..as_ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
_ _  
_ _…..te_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _...r_ _  
_ _  
_ _….._ _  
  
  
  
_

* * *

 _  
_ The motions were slowing. Gentler. Grips were loosened and softened. Nails unclutched themselves from skin. Kisses were gentler, placed as apologies on bitemarks and sore skin. Kenny exhaled raggedly as his heart rate began the journey to calmness. Fuck. That….well...he hadn’t expected that. And god, did he feel so much better now. Apparently sexual tension was a ticking time bomb that disguised itself as anger and hatred. And it didn’t make sense to him.   
  
He didn’t understand. He’d been so...angry. So incredibly angry. And apparently all it had taken was an argument during make out, which they’d obviously rushed in order to move onto more...fun pursuits. And fuck if he’d never had that kind of experience before. He wasn’t going to be soppy about it, but fuck...if he hadn’t been ruined for other people before, Craig had just hammered the last nail in the coffin. Turns out, soulmate fucking was fucking awesome. There was something very different about being in someone’s head, and just...knowing things, what to change, adjust, the overlap between internal and external thoughts and noises, even if he had....struggled to maintain it at points. and Kenny was kinda pissed off that they’d not gotten to it until their very last day together. _Such_ a wasted opportunity. Question was, how many times could they make up for it before they had to leave tomorrow?   
  
And if Craig’s scoff next to him was any indicator, he was once again being about as subtle with his thoughts as Kyle was experienced in bed.   
  
And it was hitting him that apart from the feelings of being tired and...sore, he was feeling another sensation prickling at his conscience.   
  
Guilt. Now that the anger was gone, he was feeling a whale load of guilt. He’d blamed Craig for a lot, but now that he’d fucked out his frustrations, he was left with a realisation that he’d totally been in the wrong for a lotta stuff too. And he hadn’t apologised, not like Craig had. And almost apologetically, he leaned over and kissed Craig, this time gentle against the mark he’d inflicted. Apology kisses. Not as fun as turned on kisses, but still needed and enjoyed. And reciprocated.   
  
Fuck, he’d punched Craig. Why had he done that?  
  
  
 _It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ Kenny felt the hundreds of things that he wanted to say. The apologies of his own he had to make.  
  
  
 _I...don’t hate you you know.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I know.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me. I’ve been an asshole.  
  
_ _  
_ _I don’t hate you. Plus...hate fucking isn’t a thing I like.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Speaking from experience?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Yeah. Not a good idea. Point is, I don’t hate you. Far from it.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _That seems like a silly decision considering the events.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ He felt the motion of Craig sighing next to him.  
  
 _  
_ _You drive me fucking crazy, in different ways. You’re so...volatile. But I love that part of you. I don’t hate it. Even if it pisses me off sometimes. You’re like lightning. That’s what you feel like.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _As in, that stuff that can kill you with one strike?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ Craig scoffed, and Kenny curled fingers tighter around him in response.  
  
  
 _Yeah. Just like that.  
_   
  
“Your lip’s bleeding. You really need to be more careful.” Kenny teased softly. Internally, he was making steps towards apologising.  
  
  
 _Listen, Craig..I...have stuff to be sorry for too. Lots of stuff.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Like worrying me out of my fucking mind when you disappeared without warning?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Yeah...sorry, the threadsnap and all that.  
  
_

 _Kenny. I didn’t give a fuck about the damn threadsnap. Know what I cared about? The fact that you were out wandering the streets of Denver completely alone, and you hadn’t told anyone. And it’s not about taking your freedoms away or anything. Just...you can’t expect people who care about you not to worry when you do something like that. Even if you were pissed at me, your friends..._ _  
_ _  
_ Ah shit. Kyle had been right. He’d misinterpreted Craig's actions as self-serving. But he’d just been worried. Well shit, he felt a lot worse now. And he decided to sit there and bathe in the feelings of guilt for a while. To remind himself that maybe, just maybe, people weren’t necessarily self-serving with their actions.   
  
Fingers ran through his hair softly, pulling him away from his thoughts on how he’d fucked up.  
  
  
 _I saw you and Clyde hugging earlier.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ “We weren’t fucking hugging, he’s just emotional.”  
  
  
 _Sounds familiar.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_ “Fuck you man.”  
  
  
 _You already did.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ “Oh ho, so funny and witty. Such a catch. Lucky me.”  
  
  
 _...Ditto.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ “Ah fuck, don’t do that!” Kenny complained, his face well hidden in the pillow that wasn’t a pillow really. It was more an arm, but it worked for the job needed. Plus it had a person he was quite particular to attached to it.   
  
[“Can I keep you?”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_zmEYLf3hY&t=135s) Kenny quoted jokingly. If part of him was serious, he wasn't gonna be the one to bring it up.   
  
“Pretty sure that’s how this whole linking thing works.” And it was confirmed. Craig’s after sex husky voice was veeeery appealing.   
  
It was also confirmed that he needed to learn to shut his thoughts up so he didn’t broadcast everything. Still, they had ti-  
  
  
No.   
  
  


No wait  
  
  


They didn’t. Not really.  
  
  
  
Kenny sobered as he realised that he’d be going home in the morning.  
  
  
 _Don’t go.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ “What else am I supposed to do?”  
  
  
 _Stay here a little longer.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ “I can’t. I have to drive everyone back...You do too.”  
  
  
 _Yeah…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ “Still…”  
  
  
 _Mm?  
  
_

"Uh…"

_“Tl;dr version? Stop being a fuckwit. You have an advantage we didn’t. You’re both fucking adults, and you both know how to drive, and you have the damn power to make your own decisions on where you wanna go and where you wanna be."  
  
  
_

“Are you busy this summer?”  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Kenny lifted his bag into the back of his truck with a sigh. The others had headed for breakfast, but he wasn’t hungry, and if he was honest, he wanted some alone time. The threadsnap wasn’t great, but, it wasn’t like it wasn’t something they had to get used to anyway. Plus, he wouldn’t exactly be alone in this. He had to be there for Leo after all as well. Leo hadn’t experienced it yet, and it would hurt. At least...he was used to it, right?  
  
No. He’d long since realised that it wasn’t something you could get used to. It hurt. But he could take his time to get used to it alone, so that when it did happen to Leo, he’d be there to comfort him. Despite Craig’s arguments on leaving him alone, Kenny had insisted. He wanted the chance for them to pre-experience what it was going to be like. And there was a big difference between putting up with it for fifteen minutes, or an hour, and the days they’d wait between seeing each other.   
  
Kenny sat in his truck, listening to the quiet. Less than an hour from now, it would be over. And he could honestly say it was both one of the longest, and shortest weekends of his life.   
  
And it was weird. He’d gone through so much with Craig, but ultimately, he didn’t know, well...anything about him. They had only just exchanged numbers, and Kenny found himself staring at the number on his phone.   
  
This was the most he knew about Craig. Weird.  
  
“Ah fuck...” He sighed out heavily as he leaned back.   
  
This was gonna fucking suck.   
  
And that was the thought that ran over and over through his head as he continued to load up the truck. Right up until the moment that the threadsnap faded, and he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked over to see Kyle looking at him.  
  
“You ready?”  
  
Kyle and he still hadn’t discussed last night. Kenny had acted as if nothing had happened. They’d have their moment to talk, but honestly, now wasn’t the time.   
  
Kenny glanced over at Leo. He and Clyde were still clasping hands.   
  
  
“Yeah man, let’s do this.”  
  
“Don’t you wanna-”  
  
“No.” Kenny replied shortly. They’d said their goodbyes early this morning. And he really didn’t want to draw it out. So, he instead of looking over towards the other group, pulled the driver side door to his truck open, hopped in and started the engine. That served as a signal for the two groups.   
  
And Kenny watched as the other group loaded into the SUV, his own friend clambering into the truck.  
  
“Leo, you can have shotgun.”  
  
“Ay whaaat? I wanted it!”  
  
“Shut up fatass.”  
  
“Fuck you jew!”  
  
Kenny gestured to the seat while Cartman was busy, and Leo took the opportunity to steal the front seat.  
  
“Now-AY! BUTTERS! YOU ASSHOLE.”  
  
“Give it a rest Cartman.” Stan eventually muttered, pushing Cartman into the back seats of the truck.  
  
“Right. Everyone got everything?” Kenny asked. Assenting agreement rang through the truck, minus Leo.  
  
Later. He and Leo would talk later. Now wasn’t the time.  
  
And Kenny took one last look at the SUV. And started as he noticed that Craig was looking over. Outside the SUV. He cocked his head ever so slightly.  
  
“Ken. It’s okay. Go say goodbye.” Kenny glanced over at Leo.  
  
“I…”  
  
“Ya don’t need to play tough guy. Go say bye.”  
  
“What the hell are you saying Butters? Why the heck would Kinny wanna go out of his way to say bye to that guy?”  
  
Leo didn’t answer Cartman, just looked to Kenny.  
  
“You’ll regret it if you don’t.”  
  
And Kenny looked back over towards Craig.  
  
Yeah.  
  
He switched off the engine, hopping out of the truck.   
  
“Kinny, where the hell are you go-”  
  
The voice was cut off as he slammed the door.  
  
He probably should’ve realised really.  
  
And it didn’t take Kenny long to close the distance, standing in front of Craig.  
  
 _  
Yeah I know. I’m not usually a soppy bastard so...yeah. Gonna miss you, person I met two days ago.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_And Craig was leaning against the side of the SUV, engine still running. They were ready to go.  
  
  
 _Not too late for you to come back to Denver with me._ Craig gestured with his head to the SUV.  
 _  
_ _  
_Kenny scoffed. And ignored that he was tempted by the offer.  
  
  
  
 _Not too late for you to come back to South Park with me.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Touche._ _  
_ _  
  
_ _....Fuck, I really am gonna miss you. Fucker.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Tucker.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _What?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _It’s my name. Craig Tucker. You were close.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _This whole time...I’ve been calling you Fucker. And you didn't say anything.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Oh yeah, I know.  
  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _...Asshole.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _I’m gonna miss you too, McCormick.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Hey, hey wait up. How the hell did you know that?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _You tend to refer to yourself by last name when giving yourself a pep talk.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _...Well that's embarrassing. Kinda wish I hadn’t asked now. Also, we’ve been standing for a while in silence. Think we look weird?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Absolutely.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Well...I guess..it’s go time?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Yup…  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Just need to do one more thing.  
_ _  
_ _  
_Kenny smirked.  
  
  
“You know what’s coming, don’t you?”  
  
  
Craig sighed, and nodded, his deadpan expression hiding the inward smirk of amusement. And didn’t try to dodge when the cap was once more removed from his head, Kenny wearing it once more.  
  
  
... _That’s gonna cost you.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _How much?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Depends how much of an exhibitionist you actually are...  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Okay...I cannot afford that. Not in front of the guys. Fine. You can have it back.  
_  
  
 _Tch._ _Keep it. Until I see you again. I'll take payment then.  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Wait. Really? Your precious, important hat that you always wear?  
_ _  
_ _  
_ _Yup. I’m not planning on leaving it too long between visits anyway.  
_ _  
_ _  
_Kenny offered a crooked smirk at that comment.  
  
  
“I look forward to it. Don’t you forget about me in the meantime, okay?”  
  
  
“Not sure that’s possible.”  
  
  
 _...And now I have that song in my head.  
_ _  
_ _  
_[ _Fitting song.  
_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jlHz0wF0Ig) _  
_ _  
_And they didn’t touch, didn’t hug, didn’t kiss. They handled it with a level of stoic sophistication that coveted up their thoughts. Kenny simply pulled on the bill of the cap on his head to adjust it.  
  
  
“Well, then. See you around Tucker.”  
  
  
 _I wish I didn’t have to leave.  
_  
  
“Later McCormick.”  
  
  
 _Me too._ _  
_ _  
  
_And Kenny turned back to the pickup truck, and Craig opened the driver’s door on the SUV.  
  
Kenny slammed his own driver’s door, starting up the engine once again.  
  
  
"Kinny, what the fuck was that? You guys just stood there.”  
  
  
“Nothing dude. Are we all ready?” Kenny eyed Leo as he said this, who glanced to the SUV, and back to Kenny before nodding, his grip tight on his seatbelt. Kenny glanced at his friends in the back. Kyle offered a smile, Stan nodded, Cartman rolled his eyes.   
  
“Right. Enough stalling. Let’s get back home.” And Kenny pressed play on his phone, the same song playing out as he pulled away from the motel. And he watched in the rearview mirror as the SUV turned left, while they turned right. He and Leo both felt the threadsnap, and Kenny reached over with a hand to take Leo’s hand in his own, squeezing it in reassurance. And Leo was suddenly crying silently, but smiled at Kenny’s gesture, squeezing back.   
  
And as Kenny felt that gnawing sensation, he found himself far more struck by the sight of the SUV pulling away, until it was out of view. Kenny felt a pang of bittersweetness at this. He’d see Craig again, but this goodbye felt oddly final for now.  
  
  
Although, it was probably the song.   
  
_  
__  
_  
  
  
  
_  
__  
__  
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_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a sequel. I'm not done with this series. This was just a nice place to end the airsoft weekend. Hope you all enjoyed! Watch this space for a continuation.


End file.
